Monday, December 29, 2008
Will be back to post again on Jan 1. Have a great New Years Eve everyone. WH and I are planning to indulge in a lobster, a bottle of Giessen and some serious D & Ms about life, love and 2009. Thats just about a perfect night in my book.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I read stuff like "compete in September" - X
And "get my eating under control once and for all" - X
Oh and "be a more balanced person" - X
But then there was "share more stuff with WH" - tick
And "never compromise my family time" - tick
And finally "give our BS the support he would need in his first year of school" - tick
I said in my post last night that I had mixed emotions about 2008 and thats very true. It wasnt one of my better years on a very personal level. Home life is great and I couldnt ask for more. BS did fantastically in his first year in school and progressed in leaps and bounds so WH and I are both very happy. But for me 2008 was a year of taking some backward steps by letting self doubt and negative thinking get the better of me. Words like "struggle" or "no motivation" and "however will I handle ?????" were still a big part of my life when it came to training and nutrition and I want to end these negative thought patterns.
Yep I feel a bit sad that things didnt turn out as I had hoped but I refuse to dwell on it. Mistakes are a part of life and when you blog honestly you share those mistakes with potentially the world which can be a bit confronting or daunting at times. On the other hand mistakes and dealing with your subsequent emotions and consequences can often be the driving force to do better next time.
So with that thought in mind I can identify what will be important to me in 2009 and how I'll go about achieveing those things. Different plan. Different headset. Different actions. Different results. I'm almost ready to roll.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
My family (minus WH who took the pic) on Christmas Day.
Front: SIL with Hamish the llasa apso/shitsu cross.
Middle: Father-in Law (FIL); MIL; BS; my mum.
Behind my mum: me, my dad and BIL. Thats it. Thats our extended family and we all get along really well and love spending Christmas together. Its perfect.
I love Christmas but am glad that its over cause I cant maintain the pace of it all.
Yesterday we were invited to big family / friends get-together at SIL's place from lunch-time onwards. Neither WH nor I felt like socialising a lot more but went along anyway and contributed a significant amount of left-over food. We cut our visit short and happily spent some nice time together at home just contemplating what 2009 will bring for us. WH made the bold statement that he thought "2009 will be a defining year for us" and I have to agree. More on this in an up-coming post as it deserves one all of its own.
This morning I was back into the training and it being holidays I was able to do one of my programs and follow it up with an hour's brisk walk. I felt a bit tight after a week off and found it hard to get a decent walk pace going in the beginning but once I found 4th gear all was good. Followed that up with a superb breakfast of oat/egg white/low fat cottage cheese pancake with 1/2 banana, SF maple syrup and a sprinkle of LSA and I was ready to slay dragons. I felt great once again.
Today was the last day that the ILs are here so it was another day at SIL's place but at least it was just our family so it was very casual and relaxed (think: no make-up / hair in a ponytail / shorts /thongs - gotta love it!!). We did our bit to finish off left-overs and I bagsed the turkey meat and ate mountains of salad with it whilst everyone else hoed into the full-fat cheeses, cracker biscuits, gorgonzola and spinach pie, sweets, chocolates, ice cream and more beer and wine. I wasnt even tempted to indulge as all I wanted was good clean food and was happy when my wishes were accommodated.
Life is pretty good right now. Both WH and I are on holidays and are spending time with our BS. We've had a great time with the extended family and cherish Christmas for this reason. The weather is beautiful which lifts my spirits even higher. I'm in a good headspace and am enjoying training again and eating well. I look back over 2008 with mixed emotions but I look forward to 2009 with hope, excitement and a positive can-do attitude. It will be a defining year because I will make it so.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
So since last Thursday I have spent any spare weekend or evening time working, often til 11 or 12pm. I've had trouble sleeping so have gotten up early and worked some more. On the weekend I only did absolutely essential housework and some socialising with the family as the ILs are here for Xmas. The rest of the time I worked. Then to cap it off, I went into work for a 6.30am start yesterday and today. I had already done an hours work at home this morning (4-5am) before going to work.
I havent trained since last Wednesday. Food has been ok sometimes but could have been better at others. I havent planned or prepared healthy meals to take with me. I've been in "survival mode" with just one goal in mind and that was to meet my deadline.
So having achieved it, I can now breath and get myself sorted again.
Oh hang on, Xmas is fast approaching and there are celebrations galore to plan, prepare for and enjoy. Well maybe I'll start afresh on the 26th or 27th. Right now I need sleep, rest and balance.
I also have hundreds of blogs to catch up on and a Merry Christmas wish to send to you all.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Went to work.
Meetings, urgent emails, more meetings, hardly any chance to breathe.
Pedicure at lunch-time. HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY!!
Pick up BS and head home.
Cook dinner and eat.
Clean up and make lunches.
Work at home.
Read blogs for 5 minutes and post for today.
Go to bed.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I'm not required to have any special PWO meals other than my usual breakfast which contains protein and starchy carbs but as we were going out for brekky today and eating would be seriously delayed, I decided to have a protein shake and a small piece of Burgen fruit/muesli toast with a scrape of SF jam. Protein and carbs to see me through til I could have a proper feed. I chose Bircher muesli with grated apple, honey, blueberries, fresh peach and mango slices and a sprinkle of almonds. Oh and despite being at "Adelaide's best breakfast venue" I was served a lukewarm skim cappuccino. I complained and was told that they chose to serve coffee warm "like the Italian way so you could drink it quickly and not sip it". Blaaaah!! I like my hot drinks hot!! And if I'm paying some ridiculous price for that coffee then I want to sip it slowly and enjoy it. Water is for skulling. Coffee isnt!
I've had a good day nevertheless. Yep I've been racing from one meeting to another and then trying to deal with all the things that crop up while you're out of the office and at one stage I was really going loopy but I chose to make fun of myself and laugh it off which is definitely the best tactic for me. I'm determined to handle the stress better and not let it get the better of me. My boss keeps telling me I'm doing a good job so I should start to listen and give myself some credit for what I am achieving instead of beating myself up over the stuff thats waiting to be tackled.
Oh and BTW the Metal Monster decided to add 1.1kgs to my previous weight (about a week ago) and whilst I didnt like the number, I didnt let it upset me. I just reminded myself that yes I had eaten poorly for 2-3 days BUT that my black pants still felt comfortably loose and my torso still had less lard on it than 6 weeks ago. So I felt good and my day wasnt going to be ruined by an undesirable number. PROGRESS!!!!
Monday, December 15, 2008
I have a plan for this week and the social occassions that are dominating this time of year. I dont want to try to be 100% perfect with my eating and avoiding alcohol (life is just too short for that and it'll leave me miserable and craving the forbidden foods even more!!) so my plan is to enjoy the breakfasts/lunches/dinners etc and to make good choices but keep it all in moderation. The meals I make myself will be lean, clean and healthy to balance out any small imdulgences and of course I'll maintain my training and cardio to burn up some calories. The other thing I'll be working on is to maintain a good headspace, one where I believe I'm capable of staying in control, having things in moderation and not letting my "all or nothing" personality take over. Now thats the real challenge!!
Good night folks. I'm off to read a few favourite blogs and then sleep.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
So what were those words?
"Mummy you're never happy any more. I never see you being happy."
OUCH!! Kids have short memories and I must hang my head in shame as over the last few days these statements would ring very true. And over what?? Stressing about work. Making it worse by eating badly. Then having to accept the bloatedness that comes with it, not to mention how bad it leaves you feeling emotionally.
Well its time to let it go, forgive myself and move on. The headspace will fix itself if I focus on all the positive stuff and not allow myself to dwell on the stuff that is stressful. Today had its good moments: I filled in at my previous gym and really enjoyed my classes and burned 740 calories. I ate well today with only a small treat of a protein bar with a skim cappuccino for afternoon tea (better than a slice of cheesecake with a cappuccino). Otherwise my food was lean, clean and healthy. Now to do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next ....
Saturday, December 13, 2008
On Wednesday I had an impromptu treat starting with a bit of a Xmas celebration after work (think wine, cheese, crackers etc) which then turned into dinner out (think more wine, salt and pepper calamari with the yummiest chips ever). However all was good with my headspace and I enjoyed this treat immensely.
The real problem came the next day. I allowed myself to get over-stressed at work and had a mini melt-down (in private) and resorted to the bad old habits that got me fat again and have kept me there. Yep I over-ate and let my headspace get very negative. Once my headspace is in such a bad place, there is no chance of taking positive action. Its just a big downward spiral.
Come Friday morning and I dont want to train but I force myself to get out for the scheduled walk/jog expecting that its just what I need to feel better. And was it?? It was JACK SHIT!! I felt just as bad at the end of it as I did before. There were no feel good endorphins racing through this body. More bad food choices. More of a downward spiral. More feeling like crap.
Luckily I had a breakthrough on the work front on Friday afternoon and there was a small silver lining to the dark clouds and the stress lifted somewhat. Today has been better but not as good as I had planned and as a result of this I still feel like I'm on shaky ground. Whilst I've had a few stumbles since working with Liz, this has been my first major setback and I'm finding it hard to deal with.
So on that note I'll wrap up this post, head off to bed and hopefully wake up feeing a whole lot better tomorrow. God knows I need to clock up a few really good days and work at getting my head back to its happy positive place.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Which ones do I drink at?
How much do I drink keeping in mind I have a 2 wines / week limit?
Do I eat there and if so what do I have?
How can I ensure that I arrive in a good headspace to give myself a fighting chance to stay on track?
I think the last point is the most important one. If I arrive in the right frame of mind then there's a good chance that I'll handle the occassion well and come out unscathed. But if my headspace is screwed (for whatever reason) then ..... yep the wheels could well and truly fall off. Its pretty obvious how I have to approach this.
Tomorrow morning I get to use my new squat rack/lat pulldwon/low pulley as I have a new "Magda's Sexy Back" program which is designed to deliver just that. How exciting!! I cant wait. I think I'll set my alarm a bit earlier just to make sure I have time do the program justice.
So on that note I better sign off and think about having an early night. The lurgy still has a hold on me but getting a decent night's sleep is my ammunition to kick it fast.
Monday, December 08, 2008
We had a delicious dinner of tandoori chicken breasts that WH had webbered yesterday and I reheated it and it still tasted awesome. I also made a salad with cos lettuce and coriander from our garden. It was a lite and simple dinner but big big on flavour. WH had a glass of white wine, we ate in our outdoor room and it was a lovely dinner to start the week.
I'm trying to motivate myself to do a bit more work but I think an early night is calling in the hope that I can shake this lurgy.
I had the luxury of a sleep-in today and woke up feeling even worse than I did on the weekend :-( This cold is worse than the others I've had recently and its making me a bit miserable. I'm not used to feeling less than 100% on the health front. A bit later this afternoon I plan to do my Postural Program and probably a half hour walk even though its a cardio off day. The weather is beautiful here and the fresh air and movement will do me good.
Things on the plumbing front are all good now and thats a relief. My drop on the scales was .6kgs for the last week but I'm hoping there is a slightly better drop tomorrow. My measurements hardly changed which is odd but that too has happened before.
I notice that Liz is off-line so there will be no anticipation around the new weekly program tonight. I'll just repeat last week's program with the required modifications and all will be good. My nutrition guidleines are all in place and they dont change weekly so I just keep doing what I'm doing and watch the fat slowly melt away. The trick will be staying in a positive headspace with this depressing cold.
Well back to the grind for me.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
I have turned into a veritable snot factory LOL. I have a headcold which started on Friday night and took hold on Saturday morning. I'm going through tissues like nobody's business. My eyes are quite sore and I've just finished 2 hours of work on the computer which I could well have done without. Oh and I have a pounding headache .. lucky me. Mind you I have continued to train by doing Friday's cardio yesterday (I had the option of a day off or lifestyle cardio) and doing my one hour cardio today. WH said "should you be doing that?" (referring to the walk I was about to set out on). To which I replied "I have a headcold. I'm not dying." and off I went. MEN!! I tell you, if he has a sniffle, all forms of exercise stop until he's well again. (Give me strength!!)
My system has been totally out of whack this last week due to the severe vomitting and diarrhea I had last Sunday. Talk about the plumbing ceasing up!! 7 days with no movement is a bit much (although with me its been known to happen before - just not often). Over the last couple of days I've had to dig deep into my bag of tricks to get the desired effect and its finally worked. (YIPPEE!!) I will weigh tomorrow but I'm not expecting a great result as I dont feel like everything is back on track just yet. Especially as there have been a couple of Dirty Diana meals in the quest for movement.
I have the luxury of working from home tomorrow so my challenge will be to stay focussed on work and off blogger and Lindy's forum. In all honesty I have a huge task that needs several hours devoted to it and my normal workday just wont allow it so I'm tackling it at home, sore eyes and all.
Well on that note I'm getting off the computer so that my eyes get a rest and I get a good night's sleep.
Hope your week gets off to a great start and I'll be back tomorrow (evening).
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
Here's a bit of a snapshot of my day.
After working late last night I intended to have a sleep-in til 6am today. Done, and the little bit of extra sleep was much needed and I felt better for it. However, that meant no training this morning.
Work: was go go go again. There was a small indulgence of a stolen Cookie Man poppyseed cookie. Let me explain ... I didnt steal it, my Director did. In fact she stole a handfull of biscuits from another meeting room and gleefully brought them into our meeting for us to have. I'm sure that calories consumed in the name of comedy (or crime) dont count ... do they??
On the way home was when the battle started. It went like this:
Gee I really dont feel like training (WH was out to a work Xmas function so I had the opportunity to train).
You know you should. Dont slacken off.
But I'm tired and I just want to veg out.
You'll feel better after you've done it. You know you will.
Gee I'd love take-away chicken with chips and coleslaw for dinner.
No you wouldnt. You'll feel awful after.
Yes I would. It would be sooooo delicious.
And then you'll have to report it to Liz, see the scales go up and deal with the negative feelings that follow. Its not worth it.
It didnt end there. When I got home I asked BS if he'd like to eat his dinner with me so we could talk and eat together (another excuse to NOT train!!). Now usually on a Friday he's allowed to eat at the little table in front of the TV while WH and I have a drink and share a relaxed meal together. And thats what he wanted to do despite me trying hard to convince him otherwise. The conversation ended like this:
Me: "Well if we're not eating together then I'm going to do my exercises"
BS: " Mummy you do your exercises because they're good for you".
Try argueing with that logic. So to end the story I went and did my training and then ate my homemade stir fried veg with lime/chilli chicken and we all lived happily ever after.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
I had a bit of a GRRRR day today. Just a LOT going on and not enough hours in the work day. Well actually there would be if half the people who come to annoy me with useless cr*p just took it elsewhere. There!! Problem solved.
Thank God for the love of my training and the strength to stay focussed and committed to eating lean, clean and healthy. Oh and for the mainly fantastic people that I work with. Its great to know that when I'm at the end of my tether there is some-one there who I can share a laugh with or have a quiet gripe to or just lean on for some support.
Now lets get Friday over and done with so I can enjoy the weekend.
Good night all
PS I'll catch up with blogs tomorrow
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Maybe I'll spice it up with a picture .....
.... and maybe I wont.
Or some ground-breaking news ....
....... hmmm I dont have any.
What about ....... ????
Geez I'm really stuck tonight so I'll just go and get my fill of other blogs and have another early night. I caught up with Monday's missed training yesterday so tomorrow is just cardio and I can get up at 5 instead of 4.45. Wow a sleep in!!
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
I went to bed really early last night as sleep was lacking over the weekend. Felt refreshed this morning and was out before 5am to do 45 minutes of brisk walking with 10 x 30 second jogging intervals thrown into the equation. It felt good to run again albeit briefly and not intensely. Then back home I tackled the majority of my Postural Program that I missed doing yesterday.
BS is under the weather so I have been home with him and seeing as he's just been veging on the sofa I've tackled the dreaded spring cleaning jobs. I HATE CLEANING!!!! And I'm over it and there is till so much more to do. GRRRRR
But being home has meant that I could finish my PP during the day and can enjoy a free evening. Food has been good and I've been happily eating left-over turkey from Saturday night. Its so yummy that I'm looking forward to having more at Christmas.
Well I'm off to do something enjoyable as a reward after my hard work. Its snack time and there is a DietLite yogurt beckoning. I might even treat myself to a Diet Coke. Then I'm going to sort out my Training Folder. I bought a new folder to keep all my training information in and I havent touched it since I've been with Liz. Its time to set it up and get it into order so that I have a record of the journey I'm on.
Monday, December 01, 2008
The numbers and stats have been great. I started at 76.3kgs on 1 November and on 1 December I weighed in at 69.7kgs. Yep thats 6.6kgs off. My measurements went down as follows:
Thighs 3.5 and 3cms
My fugly jeans are looking even worse on me (which is good) but the smaller jeans are still too small. I'm starting to get back into some of my medium sized clothes and I like that.
Training wise I've had the challenge of trying to correct some significant postural imbalances. So my focus has been on activating glutes, stretching many over-tight muscles, and building some strength in my weaker areas. Many trainers would have had me launch straight into the serious weights but Liz assessed my posture and designed my program to get things right before we go into the heavier stuff. She knows her stuff and I'm lucky to have her coaching me or indeed I could end up injured or with worse issues than I have now.
Cardio has been "kind". Starting at a heavier weight and with some knee problems identified, I've had the luxury of mainly walking for cardio. I'm sure this will pick up down the track but I've grown to love my walks in the early morning where as previously I found them boring.
Food is always my biggest challenge but the guidelines Liz had me following were easy to maintain and I was overall successful with them. When I did fall off the wagon with a bit of a blow-out I was able to contain it to one day and that in itself is an achievement for me. We also worked together to devise strategies to avoid this happening in future and I'm determined to make December even more successful on the food front.
Finally my head space has been really good and this is by far the most important thing. Over this last year I can honestly say that there were many times when I just didnt care and trying to get back on track was just too hard. I had written myself off and of that I'm NOT proud. But now I try hard to think positively and I choose to be a happier, more balanced person. Even when things could potentially drag me down I dont let them beat me and I stay in control.
So a month is down but there is still a long way to go. Yet when the journey is enjoyable and rewarding, it doesnt seem like a chore at all.
My next mini goal is to be sub 67.5 by Christmas which would be the best present I could give myself.
I had a really poor night's sleep on Friday as I woke up too early on Saturday. On the upside I headed out for an hour's walk and enjoyed it immensely so the day was off to a good start then. Thanksgiving dinner was excellent. For starters my SIL brought some herbed and spiced nuts and brie which we melted in the oven and served with homemade chutney and water crackers. I had a tiny taste of each. Our roast turkey was superb. After some trepidation people got stuck into and enjoyed the candied sweet potato (I passed on that sugar and fat laden option). I also made beans and asparagus with a little butter and toasted almonds. Yummo. Well the trepidation around the candied sweet potatao was no match for the trepidation around the pumpkin pie. My best friend's husband (who is Italian) said jokingly "What, are you serving it with icecream?" To which I seriously replied "yes, and/or cream". Well he ate his words and the pumpkin pie and he along with everyone else loved it. The last of our guests went home at 12.15am and I got to bed at 1 feeling like I was going to die from tiredness.
Yesterday was a busy day taking BS to a birthday party in the morning and following it up with a BBQ lunch with friends. Here's where I fell down a bit. Whilst I didnt arrive hungry, the fact that lunch was served after 4pm was a challenge that beat me. Place a round of fruit cheese and crackers out and dont offer me a meal for several hours and there's only one thing that can happen. Yep you guessed it .... that and kabana, more cheese, crackers, some chips etc. I have room to improve when it comes to managing snack foods if I'm not controlling the meal timing.
So what was the awful ending to the weekend??
Last night I had the worst case of gastro that I can remember for a long time. After desparately needing a good night's sleep, I was awake hourly until 2am and was then woken up by BS at 5. I had no intention of training but I couldnt get back to sleep. Hence I'm home today just taking a bit of recovery time and seeing how eating goes. So far I'm ok.
But as they say, every cloud has a silver lining and mine is that this morning I cracked the sub 70 and am now 69.7kgs. I had been secretly hoping that I'd make the sub 70 in November (I was 70.1kgs yesterday) and I've virtually made that rather ambitious goal. Add to this that yesterday I wore my (generous) size 10 white capri pants AND LOOKED GOOD IN THEM and I'm in a pretty happy place.
Signing off for now guys
Friday, November 28, 2008
With the lat pulldown and the low pulley I can now do some effective back training. Plus having the rack means I can load a barbell up heavier for squats and not have to haul it over my head (and hope for the best). I'm just about 100% set up now to NOT have to go to the gym and that will make life easier for me.
Mind you this situation brings other challenges like having to do all my training alone (unless I can rope WH in as my spotter which I've warned him he will have to do). So I have to be self focussed and committed to giving each and every training session my best effort. But I did it last year (with 1 gym session / week) and I'm sure I can apply myself again. If I dont, I'm sure Liz will have something to say and it wont be good LOL!!
On a final note, I've finished the week on a really good note. I went to my work Xmas party this evening and drank a Diet Coke and a bottle of water. I didnt nibble or snack on anything while I was there. My attendance was quite brief as I had a lot to do to get organised for tomorrow's dinner so I happily left early, made myself a lean and clean dinner at home and then got stuck into roasting pumpkin and making stuffing. I didnt feel deprived or that I was missing out on anything. It was totally my choice to do this.
Bring on the weekend!! And I hope you all have a good one too.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Have you ever had pumpkin pie?? I work in a small, tight knit unit and one of my colleagues is American. Well, it being Thanksgiving today or tomorrow she brought a pumpkin pie to work for us to share. She is a genuinely lovely young lady and this was a very thoughtful gesture. I felt wrong saying no to it and so I indulged in a very thin slice (sans double cream!!). Our Director shouted us all a nice coffee so I had my usual skim cappuccino and really enjoyed this very special morning tea. But the best bit was that I wasnt tempted to eat off plan after that. I had my small piece of cake. I enjoyed it. Then the rest of my food was 100% on plan. This is how life should be (every now and then)!!
BTW on Saturday night we are having our friends over for a full Thanksgiving dinner and I'll make my own pumpkin pie but I wont hurt my feelings if I dont have any LOL.
As the end of the week draws near I get really tired from the early morning starts and I look forward to my Friday morning pseudo sleep-in. Well there wont be one tomorrow as I have training to do in order to earn my weekend treats. I'll need to be up before 5am to fit in both cardio and my "Postural Program" but when they're done I'll feel great knowing that no training was scrimped on and those potential indulgences have been earned.
I have some other stuff to blog but need to use the other computer with email on it and WH is busy preparing presentations for work tomorrow (poor bugger). So my other stuff will have to wait.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Well throughout comp prep last year it was mainly cold and there never seemed to be a problem with taking my food with me. I managed without one as best I could.
But on a recent trip to Melbourne Kerry bought this fabulous cooler bag for me and I got it in the post yesterday. I cant thank her enough for her kindness and generosity and now I have absolutely no excuse for eating off plan if I'm out and about ... do I?
All is good in my lets-work-to-get-this-body-fat-off world. The Metal Monster was very kind this morning dropping .4kgs below my lowest weight last week. I'm getting closer to the sub 70s and I'm excited and impatient to get there ...well not really ...I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and it'll happen.
Keeping it short and sweet tonight as WH has heaps of work and will kick me off the computer any minute.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Firstly my wine allowance has been relaxed. Yippee!! I'm going to play it by ear as to how much of it I need/want but if the fancy takes me then I know I have flexibility with it.
Secondly we have a strategy for managing the food. Just really good advice like: dont arrive hungry, have a little of the things on offer, taste rather than gorge and when I'm having something which may be a bit indulgent I'm to savour every mouthful.
Thirdly my cardio gets ramped up to twice each day on the weekend. This will be difficult to fit in but I will make the best effort possible to make it happen.
So through all of that we are aiming for me to feel "included and enjoying nice food and wine like all of the other people".
Liz and I also negotiated a plan to help me avoid the Binge Monster that took hold of me last Friday. As I have posted before there is this 3 week curse that seems to plague me every time I seriously try to get my body fat down. I do good in the first week. I do ok in the 2nd week but little signs of struggle start showing and then the 3rd week just feels like an endless struggle and my craving for sweets just gets stronger and stronger.
So we have agreed that every 3 weeks I will have an allowed indulgence of either cake (my absolute favourite indulgence) or a restaurant meal out where I choose what I want rather than what I feel I should have. I will probably choose cake as that is usually what I crave the most but I'll have it without guilt and without regret and know that its "legal" and hopefully will not ruin it by stuffing myself with sweets until I can fit no more in. (I believe I can do it!!)
So there are some strategies that we are putting into place to help me achieve a healthy and lean lifestyle without feeling deprived or obsessed with weighing and logging food or too restricted or just going crazy for whatever reason.
When you think of it, nothing there is rocket science but I believe it helps to be reminded of what is a good sensible approach. Even after a year off I find myself resorting to "comp-diet-mentality" every so often and its something I'm trying to move away from.
BTW I did have a Terrific Tuesday.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I have a HR crisis at work today. I cant stop laughing about it - thats my shocked reaction and a cover for underlying nerves. I think to myself "what a comedy of errors this selection process has been".
My Director and I attend a high level meeting at our Big Brother Department. I've prepared for it but am nervous liaising with several other Directors. My Director throws over to me to do the talking and I nail it. I get my point across clearly and with enough conviction to drive the key issues home. If I could have, I would have jumped out of my seat, pulled my top over my head/face and done laps around the board room table waving my arms in the air in a sign of victory........ maybe not. I dont think the Directors could have handled that.
My point is that nothing got me down today. Not the Metal Monster. Not the HR crisis. And not the nervousness going into the meeting. My head space is where I want it to be.
Food has been great. Lunch today was Tandoori chicken breast done on the BBQ with salad. It was delicious. Dinner was left-over salmon (a bit over heated and dry but still tasty) with carrots and beans. For breakfast I had wholemeal toast with lean short-cut bacon, an egg and mushrooms. My snacks were also ones that I look forward to and not tuna that sits very low on my list of favourite foods.
OK I'm ready for a Terrific Tuesday.
PS I'll blog tomorrow about some great stuff that Liz and I have devised and agreed on. She is a legend and making sure I stay happy and sane while I tackle this excess fat.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
I've had a fantastic day today and am now 100% back on track and ready to take on the world :-)
I did 2 fill-in classes at my old gym this morning and really enjoyed teaching again. It was nice to be made so welcome by many of my old clients and I had some newbies that gave me good feedback too. The fact that I burned 700+ cals was just the icing on the cake ... speaking of which I have a theory/idea that I've put to Liz and am hoping for a positive response before I post about it.
Food has been great today. I was out grocery shopping and stopped in at my local cafe for a skim cappuccino (I believe in supporting my local businesses LOL). On the counter was the usual jar of almond finger biscuits that I absolutely love. I looked at them but was not the least bit tempted to have one. I had my coffee and that in itself is progress for me again.
I'm now also better organised for food. Part of Friday's binge was a result of being bored with eating the same thing too many times in a row and also being a bit hungry from too small a serve. So now I have some variety in my food and my portion sizes are correct. It helps that the fridge is bursting at the seams with veges and we have a variety of protein sources to choose from. Oh and I'm vowing right here and now that I WILL NOT eat food that I dont enjoy just because its healthy/good for me/on hand. There is a brand and flavour of tuna that will not pass my lips again thanks to a yucky experience with it on Friday. Enough said.
I'm feeling a bit bloated through the middle as I've been chucking down gallons of water but there hasnt been the reciprical exiting at the other end. Oh well, it'll come when its ready and then hopefully the Metal Monster wont be too cruel LOL.
So mentally I'm in the right head space to have another awesome week. Next weekend will be tough with 3 major social events but I'll deal with those when they arrive. Right now its back to the task at hand and thats to make Monday magnificent.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Now I could spend the next 3 -4 paragraphs analysing it all and bore you all to tears or I could just say "yep I slipped up and I ate some stuff that I shouldnt have (but I did REALLY enjoy it LOL)" Am I gonna kick myself over it and beat myself up over it? You know what? The answer is NO.
I have a long journey ahead of me and the road wont be smooth travelling all the way. There will be times when I make bad choices for whatever reason but when I do its important that I pick myself up and keep going. And thats what I'm focussing on now.
Yesterday was FAR from ideal and even today was not 100% back on track but I'm looking forward to a better day tomorrow and then another after that and then another etc. I might make it past my week 3 curse next time around and if not then it might be the time after that. I know I wont give up trying though.
Thanks to everybody who has offered their support and encouragement this week. It has helped me immensely (even with yesterday's events). You live and learn and if you apply what you learnt the next time around then you keep moving closer to your goals.
Sounds ok to me.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I was under pressure at work and was stressing a bit about how I’d handle something. Couple that with being at my desk for longer periods and I was really fighting the craving for comfort food (eg JUNK). I wasn’t hungry. I just wanted comfort. But I stuck to my planned meals.
Then I attended a function after work. They had free drinks and I almost talked myself into having a wine (which I know I could have had out of my 2 / week allowance but would prefer to keep my allowance for the weekend to really savour and enjoy). So I ordered a Diet Coke.
When the nibbles went around and I hadn’t eaten for almost 5 hours, I chose a king sized prawn (marinated and cooked – not crumbed) and 2 small bits of sushi. Pretty good choices I thought, seeing they included protein and carbs. Still pretty much on plan.
On the way home I remembered that I only had chicken cooked but no veges so my mind started to go wild with all the possibilities of what to get for dinner... Wok in a Box Noodles or BBQed chicken and salad or HJs (OMG did I just admit to that??!!). But I went straight home.
I arrived home quite late, tired, and NOT in the mood to cook. I didnt want salad as its quite cool tonight. After toing and froing about whether to go out or not (WH had gotten home late too) we didn’t go and I ended up throwing another batch of stir fried veges together and having exactly the same thing for dinner as I’d had for lunch. Not ideal but better than takeaway and it meant my food was good for the day.
Oh I almost forgot … I had one scorched almond today during a meeting with my boss. I can live with that indiscretion LOL.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record I know my blog has been really food and control focussed this week but it really is a challenge around this time and it helps me to write about it. Maybe next week I'll be feeling more confident and taking things in my stride more. Its worth working towards.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
There have been times when my mind has wandered to junky food like when I'm walking to work and I pass the cafes with their cakes on display or even walking past Maccas (which I hate). For a moment I think "gee I'd love ????" but I dont give in to it as I easily talk myself out of having whatever took my fancy for that split second. This is progress for me as I've usually given in to those instant cravings all to easily.
Like today I had been to a meeting and was walking back to work feeling very hungry. I had a Slim Secrets bar in my bag but I really wanted a cappuccino although I knew that seeing all the cakes on display would really test me. But I braved it and went into GJs, druelled over the cake counter for about 10 seconds and then ordered the cappucinno and ate my Slim Secrets bar with it. Not a perfectly clean meal but 100% better than a coffee and a traditional cake to go with it. Which could then easily have turned into an all out "well I've blown it so I might as well have everything junky that I can possibly think of and stuff in" day. (You may be laughing now but in all seriousness I've had many days like this before.)
Oh and I just realised that we are now officially overthe hump. Yippee to moving forward and closer to the weekend.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Head Space: tick
Another day closer to my goals both short and long term.
Not much to blog today but wanted to "check-in" as it helps keep me on track and accountable. I have a busy night with some work that must be done and then hoping to get to bed early like last night.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Anyway day 1 has gone well. I even managed 5 meals today which is a first for about 2 weeks. I'm sure a Slim Secrets bar counts as an ok meal especially if you're out and about and the alternative is raiding the platters of cakes and muffins at the seminar you're attending. Gee some of them looked so good too but I stayed well away.
Training: well I'm ticking the boxes and am really enjoying my walks. Normally I find walking too boring but I'm thankful that I'm not having to flog myself (yet) and I'm still seeing the scale numbers going down. My postural work is stepping up a little and thats exciting too.
Mentally I'm feeling really good and I think that its contributing significantly to my success. I'm not obsessive about my food because I dont have to log everything and for me logging = weighing/measuring everything which can get tedious. I have my weekly treats to look forward to and when I eat them I take the time to savour them rather than just stuffing down as much as I can as quickly as possible.
I'm really working on changing my mindset from "can I?" to "I will" and ditching the all or nothing mentality that got me in such a bad place before. There's still a long way to go but small steps in the right direction will get me there. After all, this is a journey and not a sprint.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
After breakfast I got stuck into housework and some of my spring cleaning jobs. Neither is high on my list of things I like to do but when my house is tidy and clean I'm a happier person. I like to start the week with a clean and tidy kitchen, bathrooms and floors and then I can watch it all dirty up as the week goes by :-)
I'm really pleased that I got through another weekend by eating well (hitting the targets Liz set for me) and doing some effective training. I stayed within my wine limit and wasnt even phased by WH having beer/wine and nibbles before dinner while I just had a Diet Coke. Our Chinese BBQed pork was superb and healthy too. There are left-overs for during the week so we'll be enjoying it again in a couple of days time (might be a good time to take pics of it). What a far cry from previous weekends where I'd have 3-4 glasses of wine on Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday too. Oh and lets not forget all the nibbly foods that go with the wine before dinner. I shudder to think of the calories, fat and carbs that I was consuming. Is it any wonder my weight crept up so high??!!
So here I am about to start Week 3 which previously has been my "danger-zone". This is usually where I drop my bundle and find some excuse, justification or unavoidable situation where I just have to eat what I want and make sure I get way too much of it because I've been so deprived. Then the "oh I've blown my diet so I might as well have whatever I want from here on" mentality sets in and I take myself back to square one. I have been my own worst enemy over and over again in the past. Can I break that negative cycle now??
Saturday, November 15, 2008
My interlude with the Metal Monster was very pleasant this morning. I took measurements first and some had gone down and others had stayed the same so I wasnt sure what the numbers would say. I was almsot dreading the reading but decided that it wouldnt matter anyway. Well to my surprise I had a drop of .5kgs since Tuesday and that made a total of 1.5kgs for this week. I HAVE LOST 5KGS IN MY FIRST 2 WEEKS TRAINING WITH LIZ!!!!
I have just under 1.5 to go before I hit the sub 70 and that will be my first major milestone achieved. I have decided that I'll treat myself to a salon pedicure rather than struggling to do my own. Unless I have a major melt-down in this next week (its been known to happen!!) I'm looking a dead cert to achieve my sub 70 goal well before Xmas and I'm feeling damn good about that.
My WH and BS were both up way too early today and normally that would piss me off but I was in such a good mood it didnt bother me. I headed out for my walk and had an extra spring in my step and when it came to my rower intervals I pushed - or rather pulled- as hard as I could. I have been on fire with a great attitude and just following Coach's program. Even my 2 wines / week limit is viewed as my "glass-half-full" rather than "half-empty".
Tonight's dinner was really yummy but I have no photos as we just wanted to hoe into it. I bought some lean lamb and cut it into cubes for skewering. Then I marinated it in:
mild chilli oil
freshly cracked black pepper
parsley flakes (normally I'd use continental (flat leaf) parsley but didnt have any)
I skewered it with zucchini and spanish onion and WH bbqued it. It was really delicious. We had it with a salad made from: spinach leaves, roasted pumpkin, fat free sun dried tomato, low fat feta and toasted pine nuts (no dressing - it doesnt need any - trust me). I really should get myself organised to take some pics.
Well I'm signing off as I have a piece of lean pork that I'm marinating to make Chinese BBQued pork for tomorrow night's dinner. I'll be making Asian inspired stir fried veges with it and that too should be a lovely dinner.
Friday, November 14, 2008
This week I have achieved a 90% success rate in eating lean, clean and to plan. Why 90%? Because I've had days where I havent eaten enough due to work being so busy. I havent gone off track but there have been 5-6 hour gaps between some meals and this has been totally out of my control.
Training wise my success rate is 100%. Today I made an executive decision to swap my allocated "day off from training" to Friday so that after a week of getting up at 5am I have some reprieve on the last day of the week. I will train on Sunday when I can do it at my leisure with more time available to me and not before the rest of the world comes to life.
My head space has been really good. Sure I've had a few moments where I felt inadequate and doubted my ability to do my new job but then I managed to put a few runs on the board and that helped to lift my spirits. Receiving a nice compliment from my Director yesterday also helped. For 2 days Wendy the Wino tried really hard to get me to seek stress relief from a glass or two of wine after work but I talked her down and today she was off hassling someone else (is she at your place Kek??)
I'm due to weigh and take measurements tomorrow and whilst a part of me is curious to know what the Metal Moster says, another part of me doesnt really care because I've ticked all the boxes and know that I'm moving in the right direction. Oh and one of the best things is ...we've actually got a fairly quiet weekend and after the week I've had, thats a real blessing.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I dont want my blog to be about work though so I will only say that another pressure day had me pining for that wine-relief which I so felt I deserved. But I didnt give in to Wendy the Wino and then I receieved a really encouraging email from Liz which helped to strengthen my resolve that little bit more. Tomorrow will test me even more as I have:
1. Unit lunch to farewell Miss R who's last day is tomorrow.
2. Farewell drinks after work for Miss R.
3. Friday night with WH where I like to have a wine while we chew the weekly fat.
So 3 occassions at which I'd like to drink. I think my pick will be a wine after work and then one with WH. The rest of the weekend will have to be dry.
Training is going well. Ticking off all my workouts.
Food is under control.
Sleep could be better but is not serious yet.
Emotionally I'm still in a good place despite the work challenges I'm facing.
Pretty happy with these things overall.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
my date with blogger is very brief tonight. After a ridiculous day at work where I had several moments of "OMG what am I doing here?" or "OMG how am I ever going to get on top of ....insert any one of about 10 items.....?", I've just spent the last hour or so doing more work :-( And this is the bare minimum to keep me from going under tomorrow. EEEEEEGADS I'M FEELING THE PRESSURE NOW!!
So what has this meant for my get lean, toned and fit campaign?
1. I'm only managing 4 meals/snacks in a day. Either morning or afternoon tea just doesnt happen on these days.
2. I'm so busy I hardly ever think about food or even feel particularly hungry until its really time to eat and then I'm famished.
3. So far I havent craved junk food for comfort. AMAZING! Normally its the first thing I reach for. Maybe, just maybe there is hope for me yet.
4. In place of my junk food craving I'm really hanging out for wine as my "stess relief of choice". I havent given in but the voice of my "Wendy the Wino" is playing inside my head. Somebody turn that racket down!!
Oh and then send some reprieve so that I can stop for a breath and check wher I'm headed.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Here goes .....
In my perfect day I would wake up around 7am and enjoy the morning hustle of getting my BS ready for school, having a nice healthy breakfast and time to shower and get organised for the day ahead. I would drop my son at school and have time to catch up and chat with the other mums and dads. I would volunteer to listen to the children read and to cut up fruit for their fruit time once or maybe twice a week. I would be a lot more involved with my son's schooling.
On the days that I wasnt volunteering at school I would be heading to the flashiest gym in lil ol Adelaide to meet my trainer who would work with me on my weight training sessions. Oh the luxury of just arriving and putting myself into their capable hands. I reckon I could find that extra ??% that meant I gave all my training sessions everything I had. Training would take up most of my morning as there is cardio to do and then showering and beauty routine before heading off for a healthy lunch with a friend or solo if my poor friends are stuck at work.
I would spend my afternoons either planning and preparing a nice dinner or having a massage or visiting my parents or pottering at home. Then it'd be time to pick my son up from school, head home and get that nice dinner happening. When my WH got home from work I'd be relaxed and happy and would even happily organise his beer or glass of wine (arent I accommodating!!). Imagine having a pleasant conversation instead of the exhausted exchange we struggle with now!! I love to catch up with blogs in the evening so I could do this and then also have time to read my favourite health and fitness magazines.
Oh .... you noticed there was no housework in there, no ironing, no gardening. Yep!! They have NO place in my perfect day. I dont mind doing washing. I enjoy cooking but you can keep the rest. After all this is my dream of a perfect day....and I dont even think its that lavish a lifestyle. Just stress free with time to do the things which are important to me.
Whats your idea of a perfect day?
Monday, November 10, 2008
My car went in for service today and I used the opportunity to walk from the service centre into work in the city and then back out again at the end of the day. It was about 1/2 hour each way and on the walk in I got a reasonable workout but on the way out I was held up by traffic lights and my heart rate didnt get high enough. Never mind. I was moving and thats a positive. I love killing 2 birds with one stone though.
Food continues to be good and why shouldnt it be? I'm not on any strict plan at this stage. My goal is to make good choices most of the time. To be consistent and to stay on an even keel emotionally. I even have the luxury of not having to log anything ... yet!!
There is only one small downer and that is I can feel a lurgy trying to take hold. I have a constant (mild) headache and have developed a bit of a chesty cough. Not feeling 100% but still far from "sick status". I think an earlier night with some Vitamin C before bed wont go astray.
Hope you all had a great weekend and are ready to take on the new week.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Since last Saturday I have dropped 3.5kgs and 12cms over 5 sites measured. Yes there are no typos there. You read those numbers correctly.
Mind you I know that about 2 - 2.5kgs was just bloat and this reflected in a 5cm drop in my waist measurement but I'm sure there was some fat melting away there too. One cannot help but be extremely happy with this result after a relatively easy first week with Coach. Now I have to prepare myself for a miniscule drop - if any - in the 2nd week. Nevertheless my goal of being sub 70kgs by Xmas Day is looking very doable.
Today we braved the cold and rain to watch the Xmas Pageant with our son. The things you do to make your kids happy LOL. I thought I was dressed warm enough but there was a cold wind blowing and all I can say is thank God BS was happy to sit and snuggle in my lap which helped to keep me warm.
After the pageant we raced home and WH and I went into overdrive to tidy and clean up as BS was having friends from school come over for a play. This was the first time and we didnt want the parents to see our home in its usual state of Saturday disarray LOL. The playdate went well and only after it was over did I have time to train. But train I did and then I had the pleasure of emailing Coach my great weekly result. That felt really good :-)
Food has been good and on track. I havent had any treats other than my 2 glasses of wine / week which I spaced out over last night and tonight. Me happy!!
Training all ok. Still working on fixing some postural issues but I appreciate how important that is. You cant build a fabulous structure on a shaky foundation.
Feeling great. BTW TTOM arrived in the early hours of today (I thought it was looming) which explains some of the stuff I was feeling yesterday. Today all is good and I'm not struggling with anything.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Why is it that on this same day I feel hungrier than usual which just gets my appetite firing?
Why is it that when I do eat my (clean) dinner, I feel like I could eat 3 x as much as usual?
Is TTOM around the corner?
Is my Inner Fat Girl (who right now is not so inner) trying to take control of the I Want to be Lean, Toned and Fit Girl?
That may be an affirmative to all of the above.
So I deal with this by:
1. Eating a raw carrot while I prepare dinner, as opposed to stuffing down Coon cheese, pretzels, nuts by the handful or whatever other rubbish I can get my hands on and
2. Telling the Inner Fat Girl to get the %&$* out of my life.
At the end of the day I'm so happy that I stayed in control, on plan and kept moving towards my goal.
Me happy!! So on that note its time to hit the sack.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
I was at a workshop this morning and had been quite hungry for some time. At 11am a huge platter of muffins, biscuits and warm Danish pastries filled with fruit and custard arrived for morning tea ... excuse me while I wipe my salivating mouth ....OMG I love this stuff!! So I got up and went to the toilet and by the time I got back the platter was at the other end of the table (breathing a huge sigh of relief). I got out my Slim Secrets bar and ate that instead. Thats one for me. Mind you the platter ended up back near me and then I had about 30 minutes of smelling the muffins but I kept telling myself "we're nearly finished and I can go soon". I hung on and didnt give in to the muffins.
I also had to buy a part of my lunch today and that can also be a risky situation for me as I set out planning to get healthy food but by the time I get to the shops I've convinced myself that its ok to have what I REALLY want which is usually something crappy instead. Not today. I chose the best looking salad (roasted vegetables with a yummy dressing that had a bit of fat in it) and had that with low fat cottage cheese and corn thins.
So on Day 3 I can report:
Food on track: tick
Training completed: tick
Cardio completed: tick
Feeling: even keeled emotionally and in control.
One more step closer to my goal.
I was going to write a thoughtful post of stuff going on inside my head but its late and I need to sleep.
Til tomorrow folks.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Day 2 (sounds funny doesnt it) went well. Incredibly busy at work but had all my planned meals close to the planned times and no off-plan extras. So nutrition is another tick.
Cardio: tick. Walking done as instructed by Coach.
Training: tick. Working on fixing some postural faults so we're not into the killer workouts ... yet!!
Feeling good still and expect to be this way for about 2 weeks. Then around the 3rd week I usually get a bit wobbly for a whole range of reasons. Fingers crossed that I deal with it better than I have before.
Oh BTW I set myself a mini-goal to lose 5kgs by Christmas. This is my first chunk and I'm not thinking beyond that now. I just have to work those kilos off one at a time and when 5 are gone then its time for my reward. In the meantime I have to think of a suitable reward.
PS Blogger just told me that the countdown thingy is broken and cant be used til its fixed. At least I know where it is and will try it again soon.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Well things are rolling in terms of my journey to get lean, to build muscle and to learn some important lessons along the way.
Cardio for today? tick
Training Program done? tick
Nutrition targets achieved? tick
Feeling good? tick ... well feeling much better than I did over the weekend and yesterday as the reality of my very ugly starting pics and stats sunk in. If that wasnt a wake-up call then what is??
Thank you to everyone who left a lovely comment on my last post. Your enthusiasm and belief in me is really humbling. I have reflected many times over this last year and sadly there have been regrets about some of the choices I made. But I now feel that I can put that behind me and go for what I want in the best possible way.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Well I cant keep this to myself any longer. You are looking at my Trainer Extraordinaire for the 2009 comp season. I have acknowledged that I cant do this alone. I need direction. I need expertise. I need support. I need accountability but most importantly I need to do it. Its time to stop dreaming about what I want and start doing what it will take to achieve it....albeit again. The past is history and its time to look forward.
If you read "My Story" from a few weeks ago (around mid October) you will know what I have been through in the last 12 or so months. Its been a tough year in terms of letting my eating get out of control and putting on a lot of weight. Couple that with training sporadically and shifting my focus to a 12km fun-run and I'm well and truly back around Square One as I begin my prep for the 2009 comp season.
Yes folks I'm aiming to get back into good enough shape to compete again in September 2009. I need to put muscle back on and tighten up my legs BIG TIME. I have a LOT of body fat to lose but I have time (and Liz) on my side. The journey is about to begin and I'm excited and nervous about the next 11 months. I DO NOT WANT TO FAIL!!!!! or should I say I WANT TO SUCCEED!!!!!
So here I am now a member of Team Fitness Solution and ready to make Liz proud of me and not let her down ... and not let myself down. So between Liz and the lovely Adelaide Figure Girls (hello Kerry and Cheryl) I'm hoping the path I have to travel will be made that little bit easier. I'm so blessed to have such great support. When I'm deep in misery and battling the lowest self esteem I can count on being lifted up by one of those special friends. (Thanks Kerry!!)
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
So what was good today?
Training!! After a day off track I usually find that my overall motivation wavers, the excuses take over and training gets ditched. It almost happened this morning until Ireminded myself of the feel-good endorphins that would flood my body when I finished my training session. I did legs and abs as planned and it was just the right start to the day.
And what was bad?
My difficult HR issue at work took an unexpected turn for the worse. I'm now in a bad situation which could impact negatively on my personal life. I cant see a way out but have made time to speak to somebody about it before I take action. I'm hoping that an impartial viewpoint will help me find the right answer. Its eating away at me and at one stage today I could feel my stomach physically churning over this. (Fingers crossed that the churning was the worry worms feasting on my body fat - LOL)
So that leaves the in-between .....
Food today was OK. After an over-eating bonanza like yesterday I think the best remedy is to eat clean but only eat when you are hungry. If its a normal meal time but there are no signs of hunger then wait. When your body wants food, then feed it rather than stuffing more in when it clearly doesnt need it. I know some people disagree with this and advocate "just get back to normal eating as soon as possible" but I find myself eating out of habit then , rather than hunger. Anyway thats my opinion ... for what its worth. So food was OK as we all ate the same dinner tonight (unheard of in our household!!) which was lean beef meatballs, tomato and vegetable based sauce with pasta and a little parmy cheese. I kept my pasta serve very small and WH and I also had a large fresh tossed salad. Not too bad me thinks and BS ate pretty much the same as us so that was big win.
I guess the best thing about today was that despite the slip-up yesterday and despite the stress of my work issue, I DIDNT resort to eating more junk for whatever stupid reason. That is a big step forward for me :-)
Monday, October 27, 2008
I've decided that daily weighing is NOT for me. As much as that piece of metal just reflects numbers that have some questionable meaning, my relationship with those numbers is generally NOT positive. Especially when I have such high expectations for weight loss and am impatient for results. Numbers going up JUST DO MY HEAD IN.
So after 3 interludes with the scales I've decided to abort my experiment and go back to a weekly weigh around Thursday or Friday (NEVER on a Monday unless the weekend has been 100% perfectly clean). After reporting my fantastic one kilo loss last Thursday, on Friday I was back up .1 or .2. Why?? Dont know. So I weighed Sunday morning and I'm up some more and then another kilo during the day on Sunday (this I fully expected as my weight goes up during the course of a day). But this morning it was up again so you know that kilo I had lost ... well HELLO its back.
Now you deal with this, a difficult HR situation at work, feeling cold and tired, work falling behind due to staff absences and a family issue thats really bugging me and you have my perfect recipe for a bad eating day. Enough said.
1. Weigh once a week and deal once with your feelings about the result of the weigh-in.
2. When the forecast is for cool weather DO NOT take a salad for lunch. Have something clean and healthy that can be heated up so you dont need to go and buy kung po chicken with stir fried noodles for lunch.
3. Accept that you cant be perfect at work. You wont get everything done on time or get it right the first time. Do your best and nobody should complain.
4. With the family stuff, either take it on 100% or drop it and resolve to not get into it. Stewing over it is wasted energy. You cant change people or force your values or beliefs on them. Different people have different priorities and perhaps its better to just accept that (even if you believe they are doing the wrong thing).
So now I've got all that cr*p off my chest I'll get my training gear ready for tomorrow morning and have an early night. If you're still with me ... thanks for listening :-)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
But there was training to do this morning and I pushed myself to increase the weights on most of my exercises. Small steps towards getting stronger but I'm moving in the right direction. After my upper body weights I did 30 minutes on the exercise bike and burned a few calories. After yesterday's disappointing run/walk this extra cardio today was just what I needed. Happy, happy after that.
WH asked if I'd mind being the driver today reminding me that "you wont want to drink much anyway, will you?" So how could I say no? Because I dont want to drink much so its only fair I drive and let him have a few. It was a good arrangement because after 2 slow wines I switched to water and was ok with that.
Lunch was really nice but oh so not clean. I made the best choice I could and ate a moderate amount. Normally I'd just hoe into anything and everything and have way too much so I was really pleased with how I handled it. Then as a treat I had a slice of my friend's home-made carrot and walnut cake with a thick layer of frosting on it. And I enjoyed every mouthful with absolutly no guilt.
I knew I'd done ok at the lunch when by around 6pm I was feeling hungry again and I could have a light dinner, instead of feeling so stuffed that you dont need food for the next 6-7 hours.
I've decided to do an experiment this week just because I'm curious as to what it will reveal. For 7 days I plan to weigh myself twice a day - when I wake up in the morning and before I go to bed at night. I'm under the strictest instructions to myself to NOT let any numbers do my head in. I just want to see what they do over a week to help me understand how they fluctuate in normal everyday life. I'm not sure I want to blog my weight (its emabrassingly high!!) but I will report on what the scale numbers are doing for those people who might be interested.
So its bedtime soon and I will check my sacle weight to see how much it goes up during a day. I'm expecting about 1-2kgs up from this morning, on a pretty average amount of food.
Good night all
Saturday, October 25, 2008
You see yesterday mum gave me some food that she knows I really like. I put it in the frij as I wasnt intending to eat it as its not exactly on my plan. But then I had a really busy morning out and about and was very hungry by the time I got to have my (late) lunch. So there was this meal in the frij just needing to be warmed up and eaten. What did I do?
I ate it. And even though it wasnt to plan (its a meal thats just about 100% carbs and there are no veges with it) I had some protein before hand and stopped fretting about it. And the best thing was that after I'd eaten it, life went on as normal. I didnt have any thoughts of "oh well I've blown my diet so I may as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the day", which always turns into an all-out binge-fest. Yep I ate off plan and didnt use it as an excuse to binge afterwards. Thats a win for me!!
For some reason, cardio today was a hard slog. I did it but it didnt feel like one of my better efforts. My legs felt heavy and tired and I seemed to drag myself through it. I'm looking forward to training upper body tomorrow and if I feel better I'll add some moderate intensity cardio as a bit of a top up.
We are off to a friend's place for lunch tomorrow so that'll be a BIG challenge. Oh the temptations of alcohol, nibbles, dessert just to name a few. Give me strength to not succumb into a big downward slide into slothdom and gluttony once again.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Here's a snapshot:
6.30am: (Unplanned) meeting with the scales. Grrrr!! Up .2 for no reason whatsoever. My reaction?? ANNOYED!! Should never have gotten on them. Now I have to keep telling myself that it is just a normal fluctuation and it'll even out if I stay on track. I have this conversation with myself over and over during the day. Desperate to not just blow it coz whats the point!!
At work: Our admin assistant phones in sick ... AGAIN. She's been at work 1 day this week. There is a stack of important correspondence that MUST get out that she hasnt got to. We are a small agency so there isnt an abundance of other staff to call on so I spend the day correcting letters, printing on letterhead, indexing, photocopying, enveloping etc etc. Every bit of technology I approached played up and because I dont do these tasks in the normal course of my work, you could call me "administratively challenged". It was a trying time. And what does that mean?? I WANT COMFORT FOOD!!!!!
By lunch time I'm really hanging out for a glass of wine and I contemplate picking up a bottle and sharing it with one of my staff who has done an admirable job in helping me. I agonise over this for hours but eventually make a firm decision to NOT do it. Why?? Because I dont want to be seen as some-one who turns to drink at trying times. This could then become a standing invite to go drinking which is something I just dont want to get into. So I skip the early interlude with alcohol.
During my venture out at lunch time I'm almost salivating for a cake. I even detour so that I walk right past some cake shops and I linger so I can take in all the wonderful produce that I just want to stuff down. KEEP GOING MAGDA. KEEP GOING. DO NOT STOP TO BUY SOMETHING. YOU'LL REGRET IT. I pick up a Diet Coke on the way back to work.
The afternoon is a bit quieter and eventually I'm the only one in the office. Hmm ... what could I eat??? Chips from the charity box, corn thins with butter, maybe I could duck out and pick something up????? OR MAYBE I COULD JUST GET ON WITH SOME MORE WORK AND FORGET ABOUT FOOD. I survive the afternoon eithout food as I ate my snack before I went out so as not to face the temptations feeling hungry.
By the time I got home I had so many wins under my belt that it wasnt hard at all to limit myself to 2 glasses of wine, a moderate amount of raw peanuts (in their shells) and a very yummy and healthy dinner.
So today I felt like I ran a 100m hurdle race with so many obstacles to get over but I made it. I may not have been the fastest but I didnt fall over and thats a great feeling. Phew I'm tired after all that.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I especially can’t wait to fit back into my nice jeans. I think they are a (largish) size 11 but I love how they look and feel on. The only jeans I have now are just FUGLY but they were bought in desperation when I reluctantly had to spend money on a bigger pair. I will happily donate them to a worthy charity as soon as I can.
Knocked off my legs and abs session nicely this morning with some increases in weights and/or reps on all exercises. I’m having some postural issues, which are making some exercises more challenging than usual. Nothing that can’t be worked around or fixed I’m sure, so I’m not stressing about it. I’m just making allowance for all this in the interim.
Food continues to be good. Getting very low on veges at home but Saturday is the big replenishment day. The fridge will be groaning then with almost 2 weeks supply stuffed in there. I love a fridge full of veges when there is variety galore and meals are that much more interesting. WH gets a bit tired of salads so its good to be able to offer a few different types.
This Saturday I’ll venture back to Australian Muscle to buy my must-have supps. I haven’t been there since a year ago so I bet they’ll be surprised to see me. I went to school with Kim (the owner) and I feel proud going there because it makes a positive statement about the life I’ve chosen. Back in my high school days nobody would have thought that one day I’d be a figure competitor. I love surprising people or proving them wrong.
Roll on Friday and the weekend.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tracking well this week despite challenges I've written about in earlier posts. I spent this morning chained to my desk preparing reports for our new CE. As I'm still a relative newbie in this job, it took me ages to find all the information and pull it together. I finished just ahead of my deadline only to find another (blasted) template requiring another lot of reporting. EEEEEEEK. Copy. Paste. Copy. Paste. Edit. Submit. However I did make time to eat my morning snack - multigrain corn thins, low fat cottage cheese and snow peas from our garden. But by lunchtime I needed to get out, breath fresh air and MOVE.
This morning's training was cardio and I did my favourite session of walking one song and then jogging one song. This is so easy to maintain for a longer time as I dont get bored or too worn out or too cruisy. By the end of 45 minutes I feel like I've worked quite hard but if I had to go for an hour I certainly could. Tomorrow is lower body + abs and then I get a sleep in on Friday.
Gee I'm a bit lost for what else to post so rather than waffle on about nothing I'll bid you all good night.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Why this whingy post?? Because today I was in back-to-back-meetings from 9.30 til 1pm. I had 2 bites of a Musashi SLM bar around 11 am and that was all since breakfast at 7am. So how did I feel at 1pm? Very cold. Beyond hunger - I'm sure my stomach was digesting itself LOL. And cranky!!
I'm actually not cranky now - believe it or not - but I wanted to get this off my chest and share my gripe with you all.
Now onto the happier side of my life. I trained upper body this morning and had the lovely leaden arms feeling at the end of it. Will likely have some chest DOMS again as that is where I get it the most. Food has been good (apart from too long without it) and I'm currently enjoying lots of tabbouli, legumes, diet yogurt, low fat cottage cheese and snow peas, amongst other nice stuff. My protein intake would be moderate and carbs a little higher than ideal for body fat loss but I'm not getting all strict and hung up on it now. There'll be time for that down the track LOL.
Head space is good so success is likely to follow.