Friday, September 03, 2010


 Hi all,

well here I am in my new home:

I hope you come and visit me soon.


Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Hi all,

well with spring about to kick off tomorrow and some significant developments over the last week or so I have decided to launch my new blog. I did defect over to Wordpress but frankly I havent got the time to learn a new program and then set up something fancy shmancy. So for now I'm staying with trutsy old Blogger but am changing the focus of my writings.

I have a busy couple of evenings coming up but hope to start it in the next few days so as they say .... WATCH THIS SPACE.

Cheers all


Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Its been 10 days since I slipped into another battle with the BM (Binge Monster) and found the bastard scoring hits day after day. Going back to my horse riding analogy, I took a major fall and I fell hard this time. I was battered and bruised emotionally and picking myself up, dusting myself off and getting back on with a sense of resolve to try again was so much harder than I thought it'd be.

I cant remember a time when I felt so bad. I had phsysical pain from my SIJ. I was an emotional wreck trying to come to terms with another binging episode. I worried continually that I may not be able to run again and what that would mean for my fitness and my personal well being. I was angry with myself and sorry for myself at the same time. I was depressed and the tears flowed at the wierdest of times. My inner turmoil had ruled out any sense of balance and reason that I had worked so hard to create. I WAS IN A BAD PLACE.

But today I woke up with a sense of calm back over me and a feeling deep down that I'd be ok. I hadnt felt that up to now no matter how hard I faked it. Today I was hopeful and positive and I'm looking ahead with optimism again.

So why have I written about this tonight?

As I restart my journey to the life that I ultimately want, I never want to forget where I came from. Sometimes you have to hold some pain in your heart to keep you moving towards your goals. Sometimes its that pain which will drive you forward when you are at risk of slipping back.

The big news in Adelaide today was that Andrew McLeod was retiring from his AFL career.

McLeod, 34, yesterday closed his glorious AFL career with a club record 340 games - and the reality his battered right knee cannot carry him through an AFL game, not even for a farewell clash on Saturday against St Kilda at AAMI Stadium.

"I never thought it would, but the old knee got me at the end," said McLeod,..... The Advertiser today. 

I dont know how many of the 340 games were played with a bad knee but I do know that its his spirit and his determination that I admire so much. Did he bow out, lie down and give up because he had a bad knee? No bloody way. He got it fixed and he played on. I may have a few years on him (LOL) but I too can do whatever it takes to keep me running and to slay that fucken BM once and forever.
Good night.

Sunday, August 22, 2010


Sad to say that today has been a glass half empty day. Have stayed true to my resolve to ditch the sugary foods though and didnt seek comfort or answers through mindlessly stuffing junk down my throat. Thats one consolation.

Bring on a better day tomorrow.

Saturday, August 21, 2010


...... and feeling ok. Not stressing about making perfect choices with diet. Just focussing on eating when hungry and not over-eating.Things will be ok and I know that in a few days I'll be eating better still. Its just a natural progression that when I eat well, I tend to want to eat well more and more.

Last night I checked out this site and found myself reading broadly about stuff that I suspected all along and that Liz and other bloggers have written about recently. I hopped onto eBay to see if I could get myself a copy without paying the full price (cheapskate that I am LOL). Well lucky me picked up the Quit Plan for a nice little price :-) (Yes Kek I'm a bit of a self help book junky - but view this one as educational rather than just "Oh you should live your life like XXX.") I cant wait to get it and read up some more on the nasty sugar issue.

However in the meantime I'm back on the sugar free wagon even turning down cheesecake and white gold mudcake (both favourites) that were offered at my God Son's birthday today. Honestly didnt really fancy them so saying no wasnt painful. I truly believe that if you take ownership of your decision to eat XX or not eat YY then why would there be pain with that decision and subsequent actions? (Comment taken from Liz's blog folks). I know that this has been the foundation of my diet over the last year and its one I'm really comfortable with. As long as I'm making the choices about what I eat and dont eat then I dont feel restricted, deprived or stressed over what I'm allowed or not allowed.

My SIJ is settling down now and the pain thru my glutes and legs is minimal. I had a massage today and I think Mr F (the legendary masseur) went a bit easier on me after I described what I've been thru in the last week. Nevertheless a few spots were excruciatingly painful so I certainly got my money's worth LOL.

So Day 2 done and dusted and I'm off for an early night very soon.

:-) M

Friday, August 20, 2010


Friday has finally come around and its time to let go of all the disappointment, depression and despair of the last week. My SIJ pain has eased a little and hopefully after a few days back on the anti inflams it'll be gone. In the meantime I'm consciously putting a smile back on my face and not wallowing in my self pity any longer.

Its been a really tough time though and I've had many moments where I've been enveloped in negative thoughts and emotions. Perhaps I should just have let it all out thru a big cry LOL. There have been so many times when I've wanted to talk about whats bothering me but I cant do it - not with people close to me anyway.

But like I said the pity party must come to an end. Its time to get off the ground, hop back onto the horse and give the riding another go with some more lessons under my belt and the determination to get it right.


Thursday, August 19, 2010


A big thank you to Kek, Kristy and Gillian who commented on my last post and who echoed some of my feelings on this matter.

If there is one thing I absolutely admire, its the more mature woman who does not accept that aging means "oh I must take it easy now." This, in my opinion, is utter and total crap. Its an easy cop out if you want to justify laziness and apathy. Sure there are times when your body will tell you to ease off (temporarily) and you should listen to it but giving up on exercise all together is just WRONG. I do concede that as we get older, the bits we use more wear out faster but that just means we need to be smarter about what we do and how we do it.

But back to the age thing..... Kek, I'll be right behind you ready to give that dumbass their second slap if indeed they try on those pathetic lines.

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

I know deep down that my current condition has been partly caused by my own actions. A lack of taking proper care of myself and my body sends me loud and clear messages that what I've done just wont cut it and now I'm paying for those mistakes. Whether you believe whats written here or here I know from personal experience that when I eat the junk foods described in those articles I usually end up suffering in a number of different ways. Its just taken me a while to make the connection and acknowledge the significance of it.

Gillian in answer to your question: I have a really good chiro who practices pain management and treatment and he is bloody good at it. He does not want to see you 3 times a week for the first 4 weeks, then down to twice a week for the next 6 weeks and then .... you get my drift. (Chiros that base their practice on those principles are a rip off, IMO.) If I have a problem I want it fixed and I dont want it to take 20 visits. Fortunately my chiro can do that.

So when I was in really bad pain in late June, I decided in my (lack of) wisdom that this wasnt a matter for my chiro and I saw a sports doctor instead. I was diagnosed with an inflamed sacro iliac (which was probabaly correct). I wasnt treated in any way other than to be given anti inflammatories and told to rest for 2 weeks. Needless to say, yesterday my chiro suggested to me that was a cop out diagnosis and asked what was done to fix the problem. Well nothing actually so he scored a point right there.

He then treated my back thru an adjustment (not the most pleasant sensation but I'm learning to work with him to make it all less painful) and he spent several minutes releasing over tight muscles in my hips, outer thighs and inner thighs. OMG I dropped the "F Bomb" a number of times and he reminded me that muscles should not feel like rocks (like mine did.).

It was one of the most painful treatments I've had but today the pain is easing slowly and I know that I'll be ok. So I've been reminded that when something has proven to work effectively before (my chioro's ability to fix my back pain) then I should trust him when pain rears its ugly head in future. The sports doctor cost me a small fortune and did virtually nothing to fix the problem (anti inflams and rest will always help but they are not a long term fix).

I still want to have a postural assessment and be given specific exercises to address my SIJ problem but his advice was get into yoga (or Pilates) and stretch, stretch, stretch. Oh and dont wait 8 months between chiro treatments if I have back (or related) pain.

These last few days have really made an impression on me and driven home some tough lessons that are like a bitter pill to swallow. But then we all know that its the medicine that tastes the worst thats the best for us.

:-) (almost) Magda