Wednesday, November 29, 2006


It was loaded on the website today and I was a naughty girl because I logged on at work and quickly checked it out. I couldnt help myself.

I'm impressed with how thorough it is and there are some things in it which I NEVER would have thought to do before. But I trust the Master (Josh) and I'll follow it precisely after all my questions have been answered so I'm a bit more clued up on some issues.

I'm planning to start on Saturday as that gives me time to prepare physically (get all the right foods in), mentally (mind on the matter) and emotionally (take stock of the journey ahead and how to travel it). I'm looking forward to it, especially being able to share my ups and downs with all in blogland.

I have my dreadful before photos :-( now its time to transform!!


Sunday, November 26, 2006



thanks to Lia for slapping me out of my "woe is me" mindset. Lia, I cant imagine you with an extra 17kgs just like right now its hard to imagine me with 15 less. I guess time and a lot of blood, sweat and a few tears will tell how it will be for me as I work towards my goal. I know the journey will be really tough at times and I've just learnt some more news which impacts on my decision to compete. My sister-in-law who I get along really well with is moving back to Adelaide from Sydney early next year. So thats more socialising, eating, drinking opportunities to manage. God give me strength!! But I've made up my mind to do it in 07 and if I put it off again I know I'll just be so disappointed in myself.

Right now I'm in a bit of a treading water mode while I wait for my program from Josh (who I know has had his plate full with getting his website back on track after a very unfortunate incident on Friday night). So I'm enjoying a few drinks, dinner out last night and a bit more of what I fancy instead of what I should be eating.

But I know that when I start my program, I'll be giving it my best shot with a 100% effort. I'm not going let myself down, nor my WH, nor the PE team.



Friday, November 24, 2006


Hi all,

yes another disappointing encounter with the tape measure and scales this morning has left me feeling a bit low and doubting myself. "Will I ever be good enough to get on stage?" "Will I ever last the distance and keep going when the going gets tough?" "Will I..." It goes on and on.

Maybe I'm expecting too much and not really putting in enough effort but hey, I do have quite a few kilos to lose and it shouldnt be this hard so early on. Yes I expect the last 5 to be damn hard to get off but I have 10 kilos to lose before I get to that point.

So here I am feeling a bit sorry for myself and a bit fed up too. Slap me out of this for god's sake!!


Thursday, November 23, 2006


Does the fact that I love cardio mean I'm not a serious bodybuilding/figure contender?

After several weeks of being stuffed around at my gym and having to do all sorts of classes that I dont like or I'm not good at, I'm finally back doing my 2 permanent and favourite classes. Last night I had an absolute ball and worked my butt off, with heart rate soaring and sweat pouring off me...BLISS!!! I was on such a cardio high that I even set my alarm early this morn and went for a 30 minute run/jog. I NEVER do that after teaching on Wednesday night but you couldnt hold me back today.

Eating is good again as I'm back on track after Tuesday night. Tomorrow is weigh and measure day but I dont feel like I've lost anything yet again. A bit frustrating but I'm not losing sleep over it. It wont be long before I get my program from Josh so that should shake things up a bit and hopefully get the kgs and centimetres melting away.

I've been giving some thought to how I'll juggle all my commitments when I up my training and its a bit daunting. It may take a little while to work out an ideal system (if there even is one) but I guess its all a part of the fun you have along the journey. Please remind me of that comment when I feel like I'm knocking on death's door as my training intensity increases :-))

Cheers all. Back to work for me.


Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Yes last night I was the victim of disorganisation. In a nutshell, chiro appointment late very late, no time to pop into shops to get something that could be prepared quickly for dinner, I still have an errand to run and its well after 6. WH rings to check whats for dinner so I offer to pick up a bbq chook and some salad. He asks if I want to go out. Of course I do as that means so much less work and stress for me.

We hit our local little cafe (with a limited menu) and all resolve to stay on track goes out the window. Hoo wee did I eat off plan or what!! As I'm stuffing in another mouthful of forbidden food WH says "so, how are you going to handle these situations when you're on your new training program?" Hmmm BY BEING FAR BETTER ORGANISED IN THE FIRST PLACE SO I DONT EVEN GET IN THESE SITUATIONS. It was a delicious meal though and I enjoyed every mouthful :-)

No cardio this morning as I was quite tired too but I have my usual 2 classes tonight so that'll be a good workout. And although I've been pining for more crap food today, I've been strong and resisted it all. So all is not lost.


Tuesday, November 21, 2006


Well the weights session didnt happen last night as we got home from work quite late, had dinner, put BS (beautiful son) to bed and then I spent the rest of the evening doing domestic chores and filling out the pre-program questionaire from Josh (which took ages by the way!!).

However cardio is still on track as I was up at 5.10 and out by 5.22 doing my walk with my 10kg backpack. 36 mins today as I accidentally took a bit of a short cut as I was right into the groove of the walk and my music and turned off earlier than usual. It was a hot morning with a strong northerly blowing. So Adelaide. Oh and lets not forget the pesky flies that just stick to you like glue. The arms got a workout just shooing the buggers.

I went out for chinese lunch today with friend from Tassie and girls from work. Here's my effort at choosing wisely and "being good": 1 glass of wine, beef and veges in oyster sauce. No entree, no fried rice, no desert etc. Some of you may look at that lunch and think bad bad but this is me we're talking about and it was pretty good.

After lunch I had a massive craving for an apricot and almond biscuit from the shop across the road (I had to go there to get change for a number of things happening at BS's school) BUT I bought a Diet Coke and nothing else. Small battles won all add up to win the war.

Will be leaving work soon as I have that chiro appointment and then a night spent ironing and watching Dancing With the Stars...tragic I know but I just love that show.

Cheers all


Monday, November 20, 2006


Wow what an exciting time. Here's a little snapshot of the last few days for all the stuff I missed writing about.

On Friday my dear and trusted friend at the gym took my before photos on my ancient point and click camera. I got them developed that day and hid them in my bag until I knew what was happening. They are awful but you've got to start somewhere.

I had a wonderful time out on Saturday night catching up with another dear friend who lives in Tassie now. We had a nice Thai dinner and then the rest of the group went out dancing which I gave a miss due to my sore leg/groin. On Sunday morning I taught my classes but found the high impact work too painful towards the end of the almost 2 hours. I decided that some rest was in order and although I got a lot of domestic stuff done at home, I still took it pretty easy.

This morning I walked for 40 mins with the 10kg backpack which is good for getting the heart rate up higher than just a regular power walk. Eating has been quite good and I kept the alcohol consumption quite low ever the weekend.

I'm planning to do the backpack walks this week and some basic weights to tide me over until I get my program from Josh. I'm really looking forward to that as I feel like I'm flailing a bit at the moment. Especially with the eating (trying to eat healthy and clean but not be too strict) and weight training for which I dont have a set system.

I also have a chiro appointment tomorrow as I feel my back is well overdue for a bit of maintenance. Hopefully that'll help my leg/groin probelm too. I need to have everything in good working order and I'm sick of being in pain and hobbling around.

Well thats my little update of all the stuff of the last few days. I have a weights session tonight, a small but tasty dinner of chook and veges and then walk tomorrow morning. Manageable until lunch time when we go out for Chinese with Tassie friend and girls from work. That'll be a test.

Cheers to all


Sunday, November 19, 2006


Tonight WH agreed to me signing up with Josh Dickinson from Physique Essentials to train for the figure division of the SA INBA show in October next year. This is a huuuge step forward in so many ways and I'm excited and nervous and scared and hopeful all in one.

I cant express how much this means to me as I've really struggled trying to go it alone. Thats not to say it'll be easy now but I know that with the right support and guidance, I'll have the best possible chance of succeeding.

I have so much more that I want to blog about but I must call it a night as its quite late and I want to be up at 5 to do cardio tomorrow morning (if my injury will let me). The leg/groin is still sore so I'm playing it by ear as to whether I jog or walk with the 10kg backpack. And I still have to plan out my weekly training until I get my program from the Master.

Bidding g'night to all


Saturday, November 18, 2006


Firstly a big thank you to all the lovely ladies who drop by to read my blog and leave comments of encouragement and support.

Alicia: I so hear you on the social life issue!! We lived in Brisbane for 2 years in what was like a social desert for us as we made hardly any new friends. Even then, WH and I made our own fun and always had Friday night drinks, Saturday night drinks and Sunday...yeah you guessed it. Now we're back in Adelaide the social life has picked up and is an even bigger challenge. Yes, I'm trying to prepare myself for the time when in order to succeed, I've got to really cut back. Thats when I'll be reminding myself daily about why I'm doing this. I sooooooo want to get upon that stage!

Jodi: thank you for sharing your insight about acknowledging struggles. As I'm not really in the "figure world" yet, its too easy for me to assume that all the girls who have already competed did so with little or no mental struggle. I've always assumed that they were great looking girls who just had to work a bit harder to achieve a competition standard. Now that I'm learning that this wasnt the case for many of them, I feel there's some hope for me too.

Sparty: wise words those about building the better body one day at a time. I have a checklist too but have shoved it aside again :-( Perhaps its time to resurrect it and strive to tick all the boxes on a daily basis...and not just from Monday to Thursday.

Yesterday I overslept and missed my mornning run so I did it today and all training for the week is done. However my back was quite sore as I took off but it eased up and I ran for the whole 30 minutes. I did extra stretching wfater my run and I think I've strained my right hip flexor/groin. After a period of sitting I cant put weight on my right leg and I limp like mad until it eases up and then I just have a slight limp. Its very sore too.

I have a friend visiting from Tassie and there is a massive GNO (girls'night out) planned with dinner first and then a night of dancing til dawn but I think I'll just go to the Thai dinner and then hobble home. Sad really but I just dont feel up to boogying when I'm this sore AND I have work tomorrow morning (1 step class and 1 60 minute combo class).

Eating has been good though. I did have a couple of reds last night but kept the food reasonably healthy and have been right on track today. I know I wont overeat tonight and I wont be drinking much as I'll be driving.

Yesterday I got my friend from the gym to do some "before"photos to (hopefully) send to Josh.
Luckily I've got a strong stomach, hope Josh has too :-) Anyway I'm tackling that one tomorrow night so stay tuned for the outcome.

Cheers all


Friday, November 17, 2006


How do we measure success? Is it by the number on the scales or by the numbers on the tape measure? Or is it by how much effort we've put into our training by completing our prescribed exercise and keeping our diet as clean as possible?

I've always been the kind of person who measures success by kilos or centimetres lost. After a week or whatever of slogging it out I want to be rewarded with a loss on the scales or on the tape measure. That didnt happen this week.

I weighed and measured and to my dismay there was no loss (I wont even go into the fact there was even a small gain!!). All sorts of thoughts went through my mind, the overriding one being how disappointed I was. I instantly felt like chucking this whole thing in yet again. I ate my oats for breakfast (which I normally love) and every mouthful tasted like sh**. I practically gagged on it but forced it down. I so wanted to be eating toasted spicy fruit muffins with melted butter swimming all over them.

But in there back of my mind I started having a conversation with myself about how success can be measured. Will I let the scales and tape maesure rule my life and will I give them the power to ruin my day. DAMN IT!! I WONT!!!

So I told myself in the firmest inner voice I could muster that I did well this week. Maybe last weekend where I wasnt so disciplined did more damage than I realised. Whatever??!! Its past, its gone and there is no point mulling over it.

I turned my thoughts around and so far have had a good day. BS (beautiful son) and I went shopping and we did our usual visit to GJs with Muffin Break next door. I resisted having a bran muffin and just had my coffee. At lunch time I chose healthy again and stayed on track. Small battles won awill eventually see me winning the war. And I dont doubt that I'll fight over 1000 battles before I win this war. I might not win each one but if I stay ahead and keeppositive and focussed I'll be happy with the result.

I realise I have 2 choices and each 1 has a consequence.
Choice 1: I can admit this is all too hard, chuck it all in and eat and drink whatever I want and do there bare minimum of exercise. Consequence: I'll get fatter, more unfit and a lot more miserable.
Choice 2: I can keep up my training and watching what I eat. There'll be times when it is hard and the motivation wont be so good. Its time then to reach deep and find that little bit extra in there somewhere. Consequence: I'll get leaner, stronger, fitter and "stageworthy". I'll achive my goal and I'll just feel like I won the lottery.

So how hard is that choice??


Thursday, November 16, 2006


Yes I'm getting in early as I expect I'll have little/no time tonight.

I had the morning off today which was nice. My last weights circuit for the week is tonight. At least my back wont be as sore as it is first thing in the morning. I have a cardio session to do tomorrow morning and then all training for the week (bar Sunday's classes) is done and dusted :-)

Eating has been good. I'll weigh and measure tomorrow as its an addiction for me. I know it shouldnt be but it just is!

I have the day off tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to. I have a friend lined up to do some "before photos" to send to Josh. I'm excited and nervous as things arent how I want them just yet. This is a really difficult issue for me and it continues to worry me.

Anyway on a happier and more positive note, I'm feeling good about my efforts this week. I just need to stay positive and focussed over the next 3 days to maintain this momentum.

Well I better finish there as its nearly home time. So cheers to all.


Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Alarm went off at 5am. Rule # 1: Do not stop and think about whether you want to get up. JUST DO IT. It was cold, the wind was howling and it was trying to rain. But luck was on my side as I had another weights circuit scheduled.

Problem # 1: Early morning weights are not good for my chronic back injury. I just cant move through the full range on some exercises without pain and therefore worry. So I ditched the barbell deadrows and lightened right up to some dumbells which didnt work me nearly as hard. Verdict # 1: Better than doing nothing.

Problem # 2: Boss from gym called wanting me to fill in classes other than my own (again). This means I miss doing my favourite class and have to finish really late. Verdict # 2: NOT HAPPY. Ready to spit the dummy actually. So I gave myself 2 hours to calm down and return message left on my voice mail. I stated my case and my feelings firmly but politely. We compromised for this week. I'm assured I wont be asked again. Verdict # 3: Happy again.

Eating good again today. A plate of leftover sanwiches and cakes did the rounds of our office today. I firmly said no thanks without even looking away from my computer screen...just in case I saw something that was jumping out at me screaming "Eat me! Eat me!" :-)

I'm looking forward to my sleep in til 6am tomorrow. Yippee!! I have weights in the evening though which works much better for me. Oh and in true cancerian fashion I'm ignoring the issue I have to resolve at thats not true, I'm waiting for the right time to tackle it.

G'night all. Its late and I'm tired.


Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I'm really excited about the future and the goals I have defined for myself. Today I took a step closer to making them a reality and it was quite exhilerating. I do however have some major hurdles to overcome on the home front and this is causing me some worry. Right now I'm just mulling over what would be my best approach. I cant leave it too long but I dont want to rush in and do it wrong. Perhaps after a few more days of thought, things will become clearer.

On a positive note though, I once again achieved my training targets even though I had a sore lower back when I started running. I just took it slower to begin with and it did ease as I got warmer. No training tonight as I'm dedicating Tuesday nights to ironing and watching Dancing With the Stars. Tragic I know but I just love this show and I dont care how pathetic people think I am.

Eating was good today too so I'm a happy chappy on those accounts. Double training again tomorrow: weights circuit in the morning and cardio classes in the evening. And then hump day is over and we're charging towards the weekend again. YAY!!



Monday, November 13, 2006


Plan for today: achieved!!

I even ran in light rain this morning. Normally the first drop would have had me heading back for home but even though I'd just set out, I pushed on and ignored it. Finished my run at 6am feeling good.

Food today: very good (I think). I actually have about 1000 questions about nutrition nitty gritty so when I have a bit of time I'll have to consultant the experienced experts. In the meantime I'll keep doing what I think is right.

Weight training: Ahh the dreaded weights. Always the first to suffer when motivation wanes. So I hit my home exercise room with MP3 firing all my fave tunes and did 3 x full-body circuits with med-heavy weights for 15 reps on each muscle group (except 50 reps for abs). I love this workout cause its fast, it gets my heart rate up and its great for working up a sweat. (All things I love).

Yes I'm a bit of a closet cardio junkie. Always have been. Thats not to say that I dont like doing weights (I'm great once I get started), but cardio is my first true love.

So g'night all and roll on Tuesday.



Sunday, November 12, 2006


My plan this week is to tighten my nutrition up a bit. So my rough food plan is:

Breakfast: 1/3 cup oats, 1T bran, 2t phyto-soy LSA, 2T Nature's Way soy protein powder (this one cooks up really well), about 1T lite soy milk, green tea with lemon

Lunch: sweet potato + chicken salad (also has eggplant, tomatoes, red onion, rocket and a bit of balsamic vinegar).

Dinner: will vary but have various lean proteins + salad or veges ready to go.

Snacks: will vary but usually fruit + small handful almonds or corn cakes + low fat cottage cheese, protein bar when on the run, maybe low fat sugar-free yogurt + fruit.

Lots of water etc etc

Cardio: Mon am, Tues am, Thur am (could be ambitious): 30 mins run + classes Wednesday night.

Weights (oh yes these are the first to suffer when I get out of sorts) Mon pm, Wed am, Fri am: circuit style training.

Anything that gets missed I can make up on Saturday as I'm hoping to have Friday off and will therefore be up todate with chores and domestics.

So thats my plan for a good week, eating wise, training wise and for staying positive. Wish me luck.



Saturday, November 11, 2006


I had so many positive things to post which I will but I must write about this "need to please".

Here's the story: BBQ at mum and dad's tonight. A few nibbles (nothing too bad). 1 1/2 glasses of red. Going ok. A couple of small pieces of garlic bread. Probably could have done without these. Chook kebabs and chevaps are pretty good meat options. Lots of fresh veges in the salad with just a touch of oil/vinegar dressing:-) Didnt overeat!!

Then mum says "I made a really nice desert". I'm thinking "thats cool, WH will hoe in and I'll just have a little bit". When its time for desert, mum brings out this platter full of home made (hungarian) walnut slice. Well....after my outright favourite of her home made vanilla slice, this is right up there with the best. And to make matters worse, WH has 1 piece and confesses that its not a favourite of his and has no more...WHAT THE???!!!! So hence the title.....and I have 2 pieces (it really is to die for!!) and feel quite stuffed and a bit eeewk afterwards. Yes I'm weak on both accounts. I love this cake and I didnt want to hurt mum's feelings by saying no, although give me credit for refusing to take extra home.

This morning I went walking with a 10kg backpack. I got this idea from a friend who trained for Kokoda and as she was walking long distances with a heavy load, she actually lost quite a bit of weight. So as an alternative to running, this is what I'll do. Plain walking isnt very effective for me but I found my heart rate went up quickly and my legs felt quite sore from the extra weight. Yes the shoulders hurt a bit but better them than to do too much running and have all sorts of other leg/back problems.

I was so pleased with myself this arvo. I was out at the local shops running a quick errand when I found myself thinking of what I could "grab" as a treat. I even stood at the counter at Brumbys staring at all the cakes before I (proverbially) slapped myself and quickly got in my car and went home. Thats a win for me and I'm :-)

Well thats it for today. We have a big day tomorrow. Teaching in the morning and then at my friend's place for her son's 6th birthday party. I think a big meditation before we go will be in order.

G'night all


Friday, November 10, 2006


I slept badly this morning, waking after 3 and then again at 4 and not getting back to sleep. So I was up at 5 and started my run in the semi-darkness. I felt really good today, right in that "happy zone". I kept my pace fairly constant (a little quicker than my usual Cliff-Young-shuffle) and ran for 25 minutes (5 more than Wednesday). I could have kept on going but dont want to overdo it too early. Goal for next week is 3 x 30 minute early morning runs. Legs and bum are a bit sore which just makes me :-)

I have a love/hate relationship with Fridays. It is one of the most difficult days to stay focussed on healthy eating. My mind sends all these messages like "you've been good all week, so indulge yourself today" or "you deserve a few drinks and nibbles today, they wont hurt" or "what the hell, enjoy yourself, you only live once" etc etc. I'm sure you all get my drift. I have meditated to help me to stay focussed and so far I have:
1. Had a healthy breakfast.
2. Resisted the junk at the shared morning tea at work.
3. Had a healthy lunch.
4. Resisted the many wonderful temptations at the Adelaide Central Market (read that: Foodie's Paradise Extreme!!). In fact my visit was very brief as I wasnt sure how long I'd last before I had "just one as it wouldnt hurt".

I still have to get through Friday night at home with WH (wonderful husband) but mentally I've set a limit and I'll be happy if I stick within it. I wont even start on the weekend and what's in store there. God give me strength!!

Cheers to all


Thursday, November 09, 2006


I was so annoyed with myself as I really overslept which is very unusual for me. I'm normally a light sleeper and I wake up easily so I must have been really tired. It meant I didnt have time for breakfast at home and just grabbed a meal from the freezer for lunch (at least its healthy - brown rice, tofu and veges). So faced with choices for breakfast (all bad of course) I decided to eat some almonds, a pear and a large skim cappuccino. Gold star for me for resisting the muffins, croissants etc that the local shops offer!!

Teaching was really hard last night. I took the wrong shoes (runners instead of X trainers with my orthotics in them). My feet started hurting really early and by 1/2 way through the first class the balls of my feet were burning badly. To make things even harder, the last class had only 3 people. My energy levels were a bit lower too so I was getting flatter and flatter as time went by. I kept resolving that from now on I would only teach my two (early) classes, I would do them really well and I would NOT take on extra classes in the one night. If I cant give my best for the class then I dont want to be forced into doing a poor job.

I weighed this morning and was pleasantly surprised that my weight hadnt crept as high as I thought it had. My body fat % was up though (as expected!!) but I'm revising my goal to be under 67kgs by Xmas and not 68. Whats 1 kg you might think!! But its only a short time so I think this is reasonable and achievable. It will still require a good effort but I know that when I'm around 67 I actually look and feel ok. Thats my goal for the short term!

So today I have an early lunch and head out of the office for a site visit this afternoon which will get me moving around a bit (I hate being desk bound!). Tonight I'm off to an invitation only discount night at a friend's jewellery shop. I'm looking forward to catching up with a few friends there but will go easy on the champagne and even easier on the nibbles!! 67 HERE I COME!!

Cheers all


Wednesday, November 08, 2006


Yes my alarm went off at 5.30 and I was pounding the pavement by 5.40. It was very windy and cool, not nice at all but I only had 20 minutes so made the most of it. Lungs felt it. The mild burn feels like they're saying..."whoa, not high intensity!!" but they had to comply or else!!

Did a little meditation again last night t o keep the mind positive and strong. Am eating well and tonight I have 3 classes to teach (all aerobic/cardio style) so that'll get a bit more fat burning!! Am getting the water in too so thats good. Tum still feels a little bloated and sore, but heaps better than yesterday.

The next thing I need to get in order is my weight training. I'm planning to do a 3 week rotational program of:
Week 1: Higher rep full body circuit training. This is good for getting the heart rate up and burning fat. I like the faster pace too. No rest between sets, just straight onto the next body part.
Week 2: Heavy weights for 10 reps and 4 sets. 2 muscle groups/session. This guarantees great DOMS, especially as I've neglected doing weights for a couple of weeks again.
Week 3: Medium weights, higher reps etc. Cant remember what else was required as I havent trained this way for some time so will have to revisit my program.

Cardio will be scheduled for early mornings (except Wednesday night and Sunday morning teaching commitments). I've still got to work out how much/when/what is achievable.

Next week I want to tighten up my nutrition so that its geared more towards fat loss and is a bit cleaner. I have some long days at work (where I'm travelling) that will present some challenges but....ooops.....not challenges...just lifestyle that needs to be managed. But I'm feeling so much better that I'm sure I'll do well. And if I slip up, I wont beat myself up over it.

Cheers for now


Tuesday, November 07, 2006


To further aid me in my quest to move towards that better body, the body I have now told me in no uncertain terms today that "enough was enough". I had a constant stomach ache for most of the day today. I was also extremely bloated and therefore very uncomfortable. I know its my body telling me "dont treat me that badly again".

So I'll listen to my body and treat it with respect and kindness (good food, regular training) from now on. I will remind myself regularly that Ideserve it, I'm worth it!!

I've got the exercise gear ready to go early tomorrow morn. I'm planning a short run as I have little time between it being light enough to go out and having to be back in time to get ready for work. Something is better than nothing.

I checked the calendar to find there are 6 1/2 weeks to Xmas. Not enough time to fit into my "brissie dress" (more about that when I finally do get to wear it again) but enough to make a difference. My goal is to get under 68kgs by Xmas so I better get cracking as I'm guessing that I'm in the low 70s now (I'm 5 foot 7 or 171cms). Will have to eat well and train hard to get there but thats where I'm heading.

Off to meditate again so g'night to all.




Yes earlier this year I tried hypnotherapy for weight loss. I found it excellent for tuning my mind into a positive frame where making healthy choices and choosing to not over-eat became "second nature". But I didnt practice the "self-hypnosis" (which is really just a form of meditation) very consistently and so it became ineffective. Well yesterday I found an article on the net about meditation and was reminded how effective it had been for me previously.

So.....last night I did a little meditation at bed time and then again when I woke up this morning. And I'm feeling so much happier, calmer, in control and stronger. I havent over-eaten today (the first time in about 2 weeks, I'm ashamed to say) and even out at lunch with the girls from my office I made the healthiest choice possible and didnt feel like I was being hard done by.

Small steps I know but I'm just rapt that I'm moving forward. I've also drawn some inspiration from another blog which I read late September but only now did her post hit home with me as I could well have written about 80% of it myself. Thanks Shar from IBO for your moving post on 27th September. It really helped to bring it all home for me.


Monday, November 06, 2006


My head is clearly not in "positive achieving" mode right now. Challenges faced today were not conquered. I have a bit of a different plan for tomorrow but will write about it after I've initiated it.

Funnily I know that I can get through these hard times its just that when you're stuck in the middle of them, they feel overwhelming. Thanks to all the lovely ladies who've left comments of support. These have lifted me up at this difficult time.

Just wait til I'm up and firing on all cylinders and charging towards my goals...I'll be invincible!! Bring it on.


Sunday, November 05, 2006


But a start nevertheless. Was going well until late arvo when WH (wonderful husband.....NOT!!) stopped to have a beer and I caved and had a glass of bubbles, a few chips and some unsalted peanuts. I will be stronger tomorrow and do a few days of detox properly, headache and all!

Training today was my classes as expected. Worked reasonably hard but always wane a bit through the circuit portion, I just hate it. Nevertheless I had a good sweat and got the heart rate up.

Feelings and emotions are all over the place today. Have had a few very low times when I felt quite teary and "woe is me" (and I said I wouldnt!!). I'm just finding it hard to accept that I have YET AGAIN regained the weight I worked so hard to lose in the last few weeks. I know its only 2-3kgs but it yoyos off and on like clockwork. Grrrrr

I have so many issues and thoughts that I'd like to write about but its very late and I better get off to sleep so I'm not dead tired and therefore cold and therefore starving hungry all day tomorrow. Been there, done that. It made for a bad day.

G'night all


Saturday, November 04, 2006


Yes its time for a fresh start. No point lamenting and crying "woe is me" over the last 2 weeks. Whats done is done and cant be changed. However tomorrow is a new day and an opportunity for a new beginning.
Positive headset.
Determination to succeed.
I will do everything to be the best I can be.

Here's the rough plan:
1. Detox time. I've done it before and its time to bite the bullet again. Ban the alcohol, caffeine, wheat/gluten, red meat, dairy and ALL JUNK!! Aaaargh my body wont know what hit it :-)
2. Training: teaching classes: 45 minute basic step and 1 hour combo (mix of aerobics and circuit). If I apply myself these are a good cardio workout.
3. Catch up with domestic chores and get nails done (if at all possible)

Tomorrow night I'll post a rough plan for the following week. I'll also write about my motivators and goals. Looking forward to a productive day.


Thursday, November 02, 2006


I'm finding it hard to keep up the blogging. I'm also finding to hard to get back on track this week. My morning cardio isnt possible as with the start of daylight saving, 5am is actually 4am - read that "pitch black like the middle of the night" as I found out Monday morning :-( I got the week off to such a bad start with that 5am rising that I was dead tired, freezing cold and starving hungry all day. Recipe for disaster!! And I've felt cr***y all week. On Wednesday I had to teach 4 classes again but this time I was mega tired and really flat. Man it was 1 HUUUUUGE struggle. I know its 90% my fault because I havent been eating well so I dont feel good. God give me strength to get back on track again!!

On a positive note though, I've enjoyed being back at work. I actually need just a little more to do but that'll come. Tomorrow I'm having my first paid day off in about 2 years. Yippee!!

I'll have to force myself back into the clean eating/regular training routine again so I'm thinking of how bet to best tackle it in light of the very dark mornings. Ah the challenges that life throws us!!