Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I’m now about to experience some change that is both scary and exciting. Its on the work front and long overdue I can tell you. The wheels are starting to turn and that’s a good thing. I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to get to where I want to go but the fact that I’m moving towards it is exciting …. And yes a bit scary too.
The work changes will impact on other areas of my life but at this stage I’m not sure to what extent. When I think of all this I feel like I’m in limbo somewhat and its not a feeling that sits easy with me. I much prefer to know what I’m doing; where I’m going and how will I get there. Maybe these will be revealed in the next few weeks.
But for the moment I’m focussed on my training and adapting to extra calories in my diet. Yesterday the order from The Boss (aka Liz Nelson) was “EAT MORE”. Now with my history and all my preconceived ideas, habits and beliefs I can tell you that this doesn’t sit well with me. But I’m giving it my best shot (typing this feeling very full after a very substantial lunch). I may have to introduce some clean but higher calorie foods to better manage the volume of food I need to have. Training this morning was just PERFECT. It was a warm morning and no wind (just how I like it). Cardio was run and walk intervals and the time split felt just right. I could push it on the run and recover on the walk and when it was all done I felt FANTASTIC.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I know that energy levels will wax and wane depending on so many things. I’m not surprised that when in the full swing of comp prep last year my energy levels were quite low and I literally dragged myself around on some days. I also expect to be tired after teaching 2 high intensity classes (or 3 as I was doing just a few years ago) or after a heavy lifting session. But I wonder if it has to be so.
I believe that having a clean and healthy diet is a key component of having good energy levels. In this area I’m doing ok but there is plenty of room for improvement by cutting out the junky indulgences that keep sneaking past my lips LOL :-) . Enough sleep is also very important as is being active through regular training. I’m also ok with these areas although sleep does suffer a bit with my regular early morning starts.
So what else contributes to vitality? Passion, a sense of fulfilment, tackling challenges, a positive outlook …. This list is probably just the beginning and I’d love to hear your opinion on this.
Over the next month I’ve decided that I will be more consistent with my clean and healthy diet. I have and will continue to train regularly but I’ll pay more attention to getting a bit more sleep. Areas of my life do drain me and I just cant fake passion when it absolutely doesn’t exist but where it does exist I can focus more on it to reach the highs I so crave. (BTW that’s not a reference to any illegal substances. I’m talking happiness and fulfilment here).
Then I’ll reassess how I feel and if that energy and vitality still isn’t hitting me in the face then I’m going to book in with a naturopath and see if anything is out of whack.
So my February goal is to find vitality and invite it in.
What are you aiming to do next month?
Monday, January 28, 2008
So I spent the day pottering in the kitchen making a banana cake which will go to work for one of our Friday morning teas. I made a healthy low fat and low carb lasagne yesterday which WH will have for dinner one night each week. I love having stuff frozen just ready to heat up, throw a salad next to and VOILA dinner is served. And this one will do no damage to his weight loss goals either.
We all went out for a game of mini golf in the afternoon and that was a lot of fun. WH took out the Tiger Woods honours but BS and I managed to beat him on some of the holes at least. We had a healthy BBQ for dinner and tomorrow's meals are pretty much organised. Now I just need to study my new training program so that I dont stuff it up (again) tomorrow morning.
I wish I was still off work tomorrow but alas our numbers didnt come up in lotto AGAIN so its back to the grind I go. At least its a short week with a shorter day on Wednesday as we take BS to school for his first day. He looks so good in his uniform that my heart just about bursts with pride :-)
PS I have been very slack in replying to comments so far but am now taking the time to do this. So if you leave a comment please look back as I will reply to you in the comments area.
I had a bad experience this morning. I was dreading doing the cardio session that was originally programmed for last Friday as I had worked it out to be an hour long session with almost half of it sprinting (I didn’t have time for it last Friday as I had an early chiro appointment). So I had planned it for today. I woke up feeling bad in yet another negative state of mind. Nevertheless I headed out to do the session telling myself that I would do 3 repeats of the sprint intervals instead of 5 (which I honestly didn’t think I could physically manage).
Half way through the first sequence I was finding that I wasn’t recovering during the 30 second slow jogs even though my jogs were like a shuffle. Then on the 7th (I think) repeat (out of 10) I just couldn’t get enough air in. I finished the sprint and found that I couldn’t breath. I was gasping for breath and I got quite scared and maybe had a mini anxiety attack and then I dissolved into tears. I walked home and just did the lower body workout.
So many things went through my mind as I cried my way home. I thought of quitting completely and settling for a life of wife, mother, public servant etc. I thought of why my performance was so poor and why my fitness wasn’t better. I thought of needing time to myself to train at a level that felt right for me. I really just felt like throwing in the towel.
But as I did my lower body workout I reasoned things out with myself and decided that:
1. I WOULD NOT QUIT. There may be times when my body will not do what is programmed for a specific day but I’ll do what I can. To quit now is taking the easy option and that is not the person I want to be.
2. I now realise that my physical performance and my state of mind are DIRECTLY and ABSOLUTELY determined by my diet. I woke up feeling negative because once again many little indulgences had worked their way in to my day yesterday and I felt bad about that. I realise that the weight I’ve gained recently is NOT helping with my aerobic performance and I now realise (undoubtedly) that for me good nutrition on a consistent basis is the key to success in physical endeavours and emotional happiness. (I have been convincing myself otherwise for a lifetime. Yes, eat well for a while then bugger it, "I deserve to enjoy myself" mentality is what I've been living with).
3. Training on my own is not the answer for me when I have specific goals. My motivation and dedication come and go and I am far more successful when I have professional guidance and am accountable to that person. I WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL.
So in the few hours I’ve been up today I’ve already ridden the emotional rollercoaster but I’m feeling ok now. I know what I will be choosing to do from now on.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
We all had some haggis which was just fine. If anything it was a bit bland but certainly not offensive. We also had a little black pudding which I found to be very tasty (its was salty - yummo) and mashed potatoes, creamed turnips (which were orange so I was confused about those) and steamed brocolli and carrots. At least I had a good vege intake LOL!! I inudulged in a couple of wines too and after the main meal BIL brought out the scotch whiskeys and he and WH had a "mini whiskey session". Even I had a small taste of a couple served neat and then with a drop of water. Hmmm I'm not a fan of scotch whiskey but it was interesting trying it. For dessert we had some shortbread and Scottish fudge.
Now for all of you cringing at this type of food (LOL!!) I can only say that it truly doesnt phase me. With a name like Magda I'm obviously from a European background and my age also suggests I grew up in an era quite different to today.
Vegetarians please feel free to tune out now!!
Coming from a poorer country where neither money nor food were abundant my parents are quite adept at being able to use EVERY part of an animal. From pure meat cuts to the offal and more they are skilled at making a tasty meal from it and this is how I grew up. I was never forced to eat anyhting I didnt like and I subsequently grew up liking most food. So when there is an unusual food like haggis or black pudding on offer I dont cringe. At the end of the meal I said to WH that I really enjoyed it and he jokingly replied "Ah yes you love your peasant food" which is not an insult because I actually do. Each to their own I guess.
This morning I woke up feeling fine (albeit it a little tired) but WH said his stomach felt rotten. Shaking head in dismay again .... I tell you I have the strongest constitution and he is a total woosy. Who would believe that my post comp meal was a big serve of creamy pasta, garlic bread and a slice of Mars Bar cheesecake and I felt GREAT when I finished eating it. Everyone said "how could you eat that after dieting strictly etc?" I shrug my shoulders and know that it felt like just what I needed.
Friday, January 25, 2008
I end the week realising that there will be tough times and they need to be dealt with. Turning to food (especially junky crappy food) isnt going to solve the problems or lift the spirits or ease the pressure or relieve the stress. It will taste nice for a few minutes and that was my downfall. Looking for that "feel good for 5 minutes" buzz over and over. Tomorrow starts another week for me and it will be a better one I just know.
Being on holidays was great but it presented so many challenges at what was already a volatile time for me. Thats not to say that I'm looking forward to going back to work though!! LOL.
Tonight we are celebrating "Burns Night" with my SIL + BIL (who is Scottish and has only lived in Australia for a few years). So whats "Burns Night" you might ask? I dont know all of the background but I do know that dinner will be haggis, nips and creamed tatties (turnips and potatoes I'm told). Followed by shortbread and scotch whiskey. Could it get any dirtier?? LOL!! Its also BIL's 40th birthday this weekend so it forms a double celebration. Does it also mean double the weight gain?? .... thinking out loud....
WH and I have decided to partake and write tonight off. After the week I've had a night like this isnt going to make a huge dent in my progress (I've already taken care of that!!).
Let me just say that I'll be training with a vengeance tomorrow morning :-)
Have a great weekend all
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Food for thought!!
I have been reflecting on the events of the last few days and the advice and comments made to me. I'd like to share the comments that have had the most impact on me in the hope they can maybe help others too.
From Liz: "Eating lean and clean becomes easier when its something you want to do because it makes you feel good (or whatever your reason is). It shouldnt be a struggle or a battle where success depends on how strong or determined you can be."
This comment really hit home for me. I have been inviting pain, struggles and battles into my life willingly and then I wonder why I'm so miserable. I think the answer is now quite clear.
From Rae: "The journey of self discovery is a long one and not a sprint around the corner".
I think my previous efforts have been much like sprint bursts. You go flat out and then you run out of breath and collapse. How can you possibly win a race or complete a journey using that tactic? Better to find a pace that you can maintain for the long haul, vary it a bit as required but forget the "dash to the finish line" as its the wrong tactic in this situation.
My goal today was to feel ok about what I ate and to eat when I was hungry and not overstuff myself. My food today wasnt all clean but I achieved my goals and for that reason I'm happy. Things will improve again from here.
I also took some positive steps to acknowledge all the good in my life and not to not sweat the small stuff.
I'm reminding myself to enjoy the journey and not to just live for the destination.
The glass can be half empty of half full. The decision is mine.
Good night all
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I've smiled and I've cried.
I've hugged and kissed and I've yelled.
I've searched and found answers and laughter.
I've looked within but havent found what I was looking for. I'm sure its there and I'll find it soon.
I've checked on my loved ones and worries I had previously have been put to rest. But then new worries have come to take their place ... we cant have a "worry void" can we?? LOL
My day has been good and bad but I'm not allowing the bad to take hold.
I'm reminding myself that I'm not a bad person, just a person with some bad habits and learning new ways to deal with challenges will take some time.
I approached blogger feeling down and out and I'm signing off feeling ok. Thats thanks to the supportive and encouraging comments that were left on my last post. Thanks Raechelle, Cat, Rene and Kimmy. Your words really meant a lot to me and have helped to lift me up.
And finally thanks to Liz too. A lady who really understands the struggles we can go through and is there with honest and bl**dy good advice.
Good night all
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Saturday night we saw I Am Legend (loved it!!) and went out for a Malaysian dinner. We shared a prawn stir fry (very clean and healthy) and a serve of salt and pepper squid (not so clean and healthy). Little slip number 1.
Sunday morning we all went out to breakfast and without meaning to I had the fattiest thing possible on the menu. "Ah the damage is done" I'm thinking so I help to finish my BS's pancakes with maple syrup. Moderate slip number 2.
Mid afternoon rolls around and I have no desire now for anything clean and healthy so lunch follows this negative pattern. I go out to dinner with a friend and by this stage I'm totally in the "I'll eat whatever I want" zone. Major slips 3 and 4.
So on Monday most people would go "Ok back into the clean food again. The party's over" but I'm anxious and nervous about some recent developments. I'm under pressure and my taste buds have renewed their love affair with excess fat and carbs. Yep you guessed it. Double major slip 5 just plonked itself smack bang into my day and the less said about that the better.
I cant even brag that I've pulled it al back together today but I have had a very positive and helpful email from Liz and tomorrow will be a better day. Yes I have habits that have been with me a very long time and they wont disappear overnight so I must focus on the positives and pick myself up quickly if / when this happens again.
I will embrace tomorrow with a plan, a positive attitude and a determination to beat this bad habit once and for all.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Dinner was delicious again. I bought a whole baramundi and stuffed it with sliced garlic and lime and a stuffing made from onion, mushrooms, red capsicum, a tin of Greenseas tuna with tomato and capsicum, a little finely chopped anvhovy and an egg white. WH baked it on the BBQ and we had it with a salad of (dry) roasted pumpkin, spinach leaves, fat free semi dried tomatoes, pine nuts and reduced fat feta. Lots of veges in all that, and a decent serve of protein with some good fats too. Plus the pumpkin and semi dried tomatoes are good carb sources so its a well rounded and clean meal. WH loved it too so this whole "dieting thing" (as he sees it) isnt too bad.
Liz has reminded me to keep my calorie intake up so its food glorious food right now and I've got to get it into me to build those sexy muscles :-)
Training today was bloody hard work as my lower body DOMS was (typically) worse today being the 2nd day. OMG everything was hurting like crazy and it took all my determination to keep running for the 25 prescribed minutes, even though I wasnt breaking any land speed records. I just kept telling myself that pain was no excuse and if I couldnt handle this then how was I expecting to improve my physique for this year's comps. Its amazing what you can achieve physically if your mental attitude is right.
And on that note I'm about to be kicked off the computer so I'll say good night and be back tomorrow.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Tossed salad of spinach leaves, flat leaf parsley, red and yellow capsicum. snow peas, cucumber, tomato and black olives with balsamic vinegar and flaxseed oil. Served with multigrain bread and tandoori chicken. Taste rating = 4.5 / 5. Just delicious!!
BS and I did the grocery shopping but escaped the shopping centre before lunch time. After the shopping he played X Box for 1/2 and hour while I did my training and then he ate his lunch very slowly while I finished training and had a quick shower. This was my post-workout meal and it was just superb.
We both had a big sleep-in this morning so the holidays (for me) got off to a fantastic start. Life couldnt be better right now and I hope it continues to be this great for the next week and 1/2.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Tonight's dinner was the same as yesterday's as its always convenient to make 2 batches of that pasta dish with flavoured tuna and veges. Its definitely one of my favourites too so I always look forward to having it. Listen to me ... all I've blogged about is food LOL!!
So training today was ok. Not a favourite session by any means but I did it through gritted teeth and recollections of recent posts by Liz and Kek (and others). Yes sometimes you just have to shut up and get on with it. No point whinging or wailing about what life dishes out. We all have choices and our choices have consquences -good and bad. I'll take a few more of the good thanks so I choose to train whether its a good day or not.
For various reasons I dont always choose to eat clean but I'm working on this and have already got the year off to a better start than previously. Now the trick is to keep the ball rolling along this positive path. My routine will be out the door now and there'll be temptatons galore, I'm sure, so I hope that things dont fall apart for me.
Tomorrow is training, grocery shopping, cooking dinner and play time with BS. Let the fun begin.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Training this morning included a nice dose of sprint work where the sprint intervals were short and didn’t have to be done after I was already worn out. I really enjoyed it and gave it my all for 15 cycles before doing my Upper Body Prep workout. After yesterday’s leisurely start to the day and training at what was almost mid-morning, today’s 5am start wasn’t welcome. What was welcome though was the lovely euphoric feeling of a great training session coming to an end. Follow it up with protein porridge with goji berries for breakfast and it’s a great start to the day.
So as I battle the munchies today I keep reminding myself that tonight I have my favourite tuna and veges with multigrain pasta meal for dinner. Its worth looking forward to as it doesn’t in any way feel like or taste like diet food. Its almost an indulgence really.
So now that I’ve blogged about my battle today, I’m even more determined to win it. Keep busy. Eat when hungry. Drink lots of water. Go to bed feeling happy with what I’ve achieved.
Monday, January 14, 2008
My lack of blogging is proof of a super busy weekend where I was hardly home. It was also a weekend of various emotions with the funeral of my BIL's stepdad and on a happier note being able to catch up with friends I dont see often.
Unfortunately there was also a bit of a holiday from clean healthy eating which certainly wasnt planned but my goodness I slipped into that mode way too easily. There's a bit of extra tummy podge this morning but a few days back on track should see the back of that.
My WH and BS came home last night and it was just the BEST feeling getting my big squishy hug from my boy. That was followed immediately by "I need to go to the toilet" which made us all laugh. I loved having the time on my own and the social whirl that went with it but there is NOTHING better than having your loved ones close by. I thank God I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful family, both immediate and extended. My ILs did a superb job of entertaining my BS and he's come home tanned, a better swimmer and eating foods he previously outrightly refused. You gotta love that :-)
I have the day off today so I indulged in a lay in and then got stuck into my training a lot later than usual. BS was dying to get over to the other Grandmother hence I could train after dropping him off. Tomorrow its back to work for 2 days (meetings that Imust attend) and then I'm on holidays til after the long weekend. WOOHOO!!!
I'll try to get some piccies up in my blog soon. Its been ages since I've posted any. And yes Raechelle I'll provide proof of the white pants (but I cant prove that I didnt indulge in GJs LOL) :-)
Have a great week everybody and I'll blog again soon.
Friday, January 11, 2008
I've just come back from Rundle Mall where I treated myself to a large GJs Very Vanilla Chiller and a slice of German Apple Cheesecake. Then for dessert I had a double scoop of Baileys Scorched Almond ice cream in a waffle cone :-)
HAHAHAHA Did you fall for it????
I actually went shopping and bought myself a stunning pair of.....insert drum roll......white pants from Events. Dont you love it when you try on your regular size and they are clearly TOO BIG. Oh the joy of needing the next size down and finding that they fit. (Its almost up there with a lotto win!!).
Funnily I ended up buying a pair in my regular size just cause they were a nicer pant and looked better on. But I can be quietly smug about the smaller size fitting. (I know thats really shallow but I make no apologies).
Oh and BTW it didnt even cross my mind to venture near GJs or any ice-cream sellers. Now thats progress in my book!!
Bad days aren’t fixed with poor food choices and destructive behaviours so you might as well do your best to look after yourself with good food.
2. One negative experience shouldn’t ruin your day. But if it (somehow) has then go back to Point #1.
3. If you run out of salad leaves (spinach / lettuce etc), flat leaf (Continental) parsley chopped roughly makes a great substitute. I’ve been eating it by the handfuls this week and its yummy.
4. There is a way to include fruit toast into an off-season eating plan and stay within calorie and macro-nutrient guidelines. This was a great discovery for fruit-toast-loving me.
5. When arguing with yourself about whether to train or not to train just shut up and do it. Put that energy into the training and not the arguing.
6. Be prepared to challenge your own thinking and beliefs if you want to make significant, long lasting changes. As the famous old saying goes “Do what you always did and get what you always got”. Say good-bye to that comfort zone. Be prepared for a bit of pain. It’ll be worth it in the end.
And on that rather deep and profound note I’ll sign off on this topic.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
After my extra hour of cardio last night I was a bit tired this morning and so this is the conversation I was having with myself during my cardio session:
“You did a lot of extra cardio last night. You don’t really need to run this morning. It’d be quite ok to skip the run and just do your lower body workout”.
“Come on. Don’t be lazy. One minute you’re complaining about the weight not coming off and then you’re thinking up excuses for not training. Just get on with it.”
“I’m tired and this is hard work. Perhaps I’ll cut my run intervals down shorter, maybe take an extra break. No-one will know.”
“You’ve turned into wuss. You’ve trained much harder than this before so you know you’ve got it in you. Now suck it up Princess and keep going.”
So I did. I finished on a good note with sweat pouring off me and then hit my exercise room for my lower body workout. I tell you there is no better feeling than finishing a training session that you didn’t want to start. (I don’t expect many arguments on this one!!).
This afternoon I’m meeting one of my good friends for coffee which will undoubtedly turn into dinner and maybe even a movie. We have no definite plans other than knowing that we’ll talk for hours as we haven’t seen each other since I competed in October last year.
Before I sign off I can say there was a drop on the scales this morning which was nice but by no means the reason for my good mood. Who knows, tomorrow it may be up again as we all know how those numbers can go up and down for no logical reason. The very fact that I’ve chosen to write about this last of all indicates where it is on my scale of importance. :-)
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
For me, visits to the gym (other than my one mandatory visit / week) are a real treat. Well I was due for a treat today. BS is on the Sunny Coast with the ILs and WH has just flown up to spend a few days there before he brings BS home. I'm a bacheloress and I love it. My first priority was to sort out when I'd go to the gym and what I would do there.
So today's plan was to do an RPM class at a branch of my gym that is close to the airport and the time of it was just right. Last night I organised my gym gear and made sure I had something that was respectable enough to be worn in public (I dont bother too much about how I look when I train at home). I organised my bits and pieces (hair elastic, socks - often forgotten, towel etc). In the morning a few extra bits get added (spare T shirt) and I'm set.
Well at least I thought so. Its basically downhill from there. I leave work in a hurry and forget to take my drink bottle - ok I buy water and I'm set (I think).
Not so. I have forgotten my HRM - I can do without it. Its not essentail for the workout so I'm set.
Not so. I've forgotten my IPod and I'm early so having my music while I play around before the class would be nice. Ok I can do without it so I'm still set.
Not so. I'VE FORGOTTEN MY BLOODY SHOES!!!! :-( :-( :-(
OK build a bridge and get over it!! Its decision time as to what I'm going to do. Here are my options. My gym has 2 branches that are in my neck of the woods so to speak. I have the choice of BodyPump or BodyPump at the time I want to go. Plus to make it on time (I'm on the other side of the city) I'm going to have to really move it.
Now being a BodyPump Instructor I know that the high volume of reps for each muscle group is enough to bring on a debilitating case of DOMS that would make grown men cry. I'm also on a specific program with Liz so I suspect its not a good training option.
Do I do a bit of a weights workout of my own accord? For the same reasons as above I decide against this.
Aaah my beloved cardio :-) Normally I find gym cardio really boring so I set myself the challenge of using every type of cardio machine for 10 minutes. I duck home and equip myself properly and hit the machines with a vengance. Tready running at 8.5kms on a small incline (woohoo my HR is up); stepper (lets tone that butt); X Trainer (feet are getting numb by now); rower (I'm feeling like an Olympic athlete); upright bike (reading Oxygen mag) and recumbent bike (the lazy man's exercise). Thats just over an hour all up and I'm done. Bye bye 445 calories.
And thats my definition of a perfect afternoon alone LOL!!
Yep I had it and I had it bad. Even standing up straight I would be lumpy all over the backs and sides of my thighs and even worse on my bum. Being an aerobics instructor made me really self conscious about it. Only once did I wear shorts that covered my thighs but then rode up during the class to reveal my ugly legs. I almsot died of shame and embarassment and vowed to NEVER bear my legs above the knees again.
When I decided to compete I worried quite a bit about whether I would ever get rid of it. If I didnt then I'd just resign myself to the fact that despite all my efforts I just wasnt up to scratch and maybe it would me longer to get there. Luckily this wasnt the case.
I truly believe that my celluilte went as a result of 10 months of good hard training and eating clean MOST of the time. I wasnt a saint. In fact far from it. I fell off the wagon MANY times but I always picked myself up and got back on. Quitting was NOT an option. Imagine my delight when I checked out my legs probably a couple of months out from the show and saw that they were smooth. Even though I didnt have the best legs at either of the shows I did (needed better glutes and hammies + still carried a bit of upper thigh flab), at least I had successfully shifted the cellulite.
My advice to anyone thinking of or planning to compete (and who worries about this) is to start thinking of yourself being in comp prep from now. Clean up your diet (just dont be too strict this far out) and train as hard as you can. Aim to never miss a session if at all possible. Give your body time to rid itself of that potentially hard to shift fat. And then reap the benefits of all your hard work.
I might be a bit podgier around the middle than I have been before (I'm also over 40 so I think that's playing a part in it) but my legs have NEVER looked this good so I take comfort in that.
Good luck ... no thats CRAP ... Train hard. Eat clean. It'll happen and its not dependent on luck.
“This just isn’t working. I’m making no progress. I might as well have a yummy cake to console myself”
“You know its going to take time. You expect things to happen too quickly. You’re eating well and feeling very satisfied so how can you expect the weight to drop off like it does when you’re virtually starving yourself? Plus you know the cake isn’t the cure for how you’re feeling”
“God I’d give anything to drop this weight around my middle and QUICKLY. I’ll just cut my carbs right back and my calories down and all will be sweet. I can do it. I’ve done it before and I know it works”
“You idiot! You know what happens when you do that, don’t you. BINGE CITY hello I’m back!! Trust Liz and stop thinking that the short term fix is going to work. Your track record has proven that it DOESNT”.
And variations of this went on all day. But over-riding all this, I actually sat with the bad feelings acknowledging that yes I was having a down day and not feeling so good BUT turning to junk food would not change that (past the 5 minutes of oral satisfaction anyway) so what was the point?
Of course Liz came to my rescue in the form of an excellent email which brought back to memory (another) HEEEEUGE achievement I made last year. (Sorry if this is a bit yucky to read about).
For as long as I can remember I’ve carried cellulite on the backs and sides of my thighs and on my bum. Even when I (sometimes) lost weight, the cellulite never budged. I hated it and was really self conscious about it (as you can imagine). Well last year the intense weight training and pretty gruelling cardio melted it away (from my legs) and I would regularly admire my new smooth look legs in the mirror. (I still have a bit on my bum but hey I’m a work in progress). Even now with my legs not as lean as before it hasn’t come back and this makes me REALLY HAPPY.
So here I am today and I’m feeling fantastic again. I’m back to my happy, bouncing around smiling old self and not letting little crap like the skirt incident ruin a day for me. Yes I’ve chosen to wear something I really like and feel good in and it makes the world of difference. I weighed this morning and the drop on the scales was negligible and I DIDN’T CARE. I’ve measured my waist (and everywhere else) so I’ll know when the cms go but again my happiness will NOT ride on that.
Finally I’ve taken 2 giant leaps forward and not because I lost however many kilos. Before I sign off I’d like to say that if you don’t read Liz’s blog, YOU SHOULD. Check the link on my side bar and get ready to hear some really good advice.
PS Thanks for all the comments of support and encouragement once again. Its nice to know that when we stumble there is always someone out there who helps us back up again :-)
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
I went to put it on and it wasn’t slipping on easily. I went to do the zip up dreading the inevitable “its too tight feeling” and yep there it was that “too tight” feeling. In fact I looked like an overstuffed sausage in it and quickly took it off and put on a skirt made from stretchy fabric with a drawstring waist.
So all day I have been battling my negative thoughts about my weight and the way its just settled around my middle and doesn’t seem to be moving. I know its early days and yes I am the epitome of impatience but I feel like there’s nothing happening and this is depressing. Maybe my body can only lose fat on less calories or maybe less carbs or gruelling cardio every day? I’m not sure but I’d love to feel like a bit of the midsection podge was going.
I guess I’m so used to dieting more strictly and therefore getting visible results quicker that this new way of eating for fat loss is quite foreign to me. I also know that its feelings like these that lead me into my danger zones where overeating becomes a real risk. I know from previous experience that 99% of my overeating episodes have stemmed from emotional reasons and not hunger. I think this warrants a discussion with Liz.
Finally before I sign off I just want to clarify that I’m not pining for the body I had at competition time. I fully understand that its not possible or healthy or practical to maintain such a low level of body fat. I would however like to shed 2-4 kgs especially around the middle where I’m feeling like a mini teletubby.
Monday, January 07, 2008
As expected, last night’s dinner was delicious and even my WH complimented me on it saying it was very tasty and enjoyable. I know that he’s often disappointed in what he eats when he’s trying to lose weight so this was a big compliment indeed. Plus its so much better when we’re on the same wave length. I’ve even got him using Calking which he loves.
So another working week has kicked off with my usual 5am start. This morning it was run/walk combo followed by lower body conditioning. It was another good session and again, all my training is done for the day. I am a bit tired though and have been yawning heaps. Nothing that some earlier nights wont fix though. My body-clock is a bit out of whack after being on holidays and sleeping in later and going to bed later too.
So what does this week hold for me?
1. Work. Say no more.
2. WH flies to Brissie on Wednesday afternoon and I am “free” for the next 4 days. I’ve checked out my gym’s group fitness timetables and have marked a few classes I’d like to do. What a luxury!! Going to the gym after work or whenever I feel like it on the weekend.
3. I’ve tentatively arranged a night out with the girls on Saturday. That’s as far as those plans have gotten. Whatever we do I know it’ll be a dry night for me coz I’m enjoying not drinking now.
4. Then on Sunday the Adelaide Figure Girls are meeting for brunch and I’m REALLY looking forward to that. Its my chance to talk all things competing, training, bodybuilding etc with like-minded people and I love it.
5. On Sunday night my WH comes home with our BS. That’ll be nice and I’m hanging out for the biggest squishiest hug in the world.
6. I guess I’ll have some opportunities to catch up with some of my other girlfriends but I’ve made no firm plans as yet.
Well things are going good for me and I’m feeling much better than I did through December when my diet was poor and my training was inconsistent. Liz has me on higher calories, higher carbs and my body is liking it. Its early days to see what the scales and tape measure are doing but I remind myself daily that I don’t look bad. Yes I’ve looked better and I will look better again but I have a fair bit of recovery to do before I get there. At least I’m enjoying that journey now.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
So today mum and dad took me to the Torrens Island Market to shop for fruit and veg. I've never been there before ... not sure if I'll go again. Then I did some domestic chores (which never seem to come to an end) and then kicked back and read my latest copy of Oxygen ... which has been sitting on my bedside table for several weeks.
I have a prescribed day off training today which is very unusual as last year the only days I didnt train were holidays away, when I was (rarely) injured or when I was completely exhausted. The norm was to train 7 days a week. So I'm mosying around feeling mildly guilty and uneasy, feeling like I should be training. But I did as prescribed and took the rest day. I have some abdominal DOMS from yesterday but its not serious. Although having said that now, I wouldnt be surprised if Liz upped the ante just to really fix me!! LOL
Now I'm not the sort of person who can sit around for long periods of time when I'm at home so I ventured into my kitchen to dabble in the Domestic Goddess world. I have made some salt-free stock from chicken bones and vegetables. I use this to "stir fry" my veges in instead of oils. The stock makes a great base for anything you might like to add like Tamari, ginger, chilli, lemongrass etc. The list of possibilities is endless. Its also nice to add a (controlled) amount of a good quality oil to the finished dish with lean protein, some brown rice and VOILA!! a clean meal :-)
Tonight's dinner is Gemfish Fillets with Anchovy and Caper Paste.
Here is the recipe I'm using for 2 serves:
50g sundried tomatoes (Freezedried pack with no added oil) reconstituted in a little boiling water and drained
20ml (1T) olive oil
2 anchovy fillets drained
a handful of continental (flat leaf) parsley
1/2t lemon juice
Process in a food processor and serve with the grilled fish. Its that easy and very tasty (if you like tangy salty foods)
I'm also making a salad of roasted pumpkin (no oil just sprayed lightly with cooking spray), spinach leaves, more fat free sundried tomatoes, toasted pine nuts and reduced fat feta. No dressing (it doesnt need any) just mix it up well and VOILA!! This is a delicious salad that WH just loves when he gets a bit sick of the (old faithful) tossed salad.
So after posting all that maybe my Sunday's not so lazy after all :-) But I like it like this.
How's your Sunday going??
Saturday, January 05, 2008
In fact right now I'm pretty happy with everything. I feel good physically. I feel great mentally and I feel so in the zone that its actually a bit scary. Scary because I dont want to come crashing out of it (like I have heaps of times before).
Today I trawled around my local Westfield determined to shop up at the sales (without having to darg my BS around with me). I scoured every fashion and shoe shop and tried on at least 10 things and bought ...... NOTHING ...... ZIP ..... ZILCH. :-( I must admit I find that Westfield totally uninspiring and I was disappointed in the venture.
Although we are childless we are having a quiet night in tonight. We have freebie movie passes but the films we want to see arent on the free list (yet) so we'll wait a bit. That also means the Thai dinner out is on the shelf for now and it'll be 100% clean eating day with no alcohol yet again. I'm liking this new system!! In fact WH has just finished his second cardio session for today in an effort to win our family's Biggest Loser - Fiji Challenge. Go WH!!!
Hope everyone's weekend is as good as mine.
Friday, January 04, 2008
I’ve just come to the end of my first week (well 9 days actually) of training with Liz and living my new healthy and clean eating lifestyle. Here’s how I went:
1. I lost 2.2 kgs but most of this was just post Christmas bloat – but still better gone than sitting somewhere on my body.
2. In the 9 days I ate out 6 times and had 1 celebration at home. This makes point 1 even more amazing!! Whilst I didn’t remain within my calorie or macronutrient allowance on many days, I did eat with awareness so as to never be “stuffed”. I usually made the best choices possible and had only 1 alcoholic drink on New Years Eve. An amazing achievement for me.
3. I trained on most days albeit it not creatively. That’s changed now as Liz has prescribed both my cardio and conditioning work, leaving nothing to chance.
4. But all the physical stuff aside, the best thing has been that I’ve stayed positive, focussed and have been feeling really good about myself. You cant put a price on that – its FANTASTIC.
Last night I found myself quite excited about going to bed so that when I woke up I’d have my new program to do this morning. It was really good. The cardio was challenging (cause I made sure I worked hard) and enjoyable and I can see the benefits of my lower body workout. I have total control over my food today (except I have a little leftover meat from NYE to finish) so my eats are getting even cleaner. And WH has declared that he will not drink tonight so YIPPEE I will happily have a dry night as well. Things are certainly looking up!!
We said good-bye to our BS last night and he’s now staying with his nana and grandad on the Sunny Coast – lucky little bugger. This morning as we’re leaving for work my WH says:
“I feel like I’ve forgotten something”
“Have you got your phone?”
“Yep and my wallet and work ID”
“Well that’s all you really need.”
5 seconds later it dawns on me. “We’re missing the kid”. WH laughs and says “Yep that’s what it is”. We drive to work without having to play I spy all the way.
Have a great weekend all.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
We ate out at one of Adelaide’s premier seafood restaurants last night and a part of me was feeling like “oh no not another meal out where I’ll struggle to stay on track”. But then I (quietly) told myself off and looked at all the positives like having a wonderful family that enjoys socialising together, getting to eat yummy food prepared (and paid for) by somebody else and yet another occasion to practice making good choices. And I certainly did last night and left the evening feeling empowered and really good about myself. Score a BIG one for me on that.
So today it’s a final lunch out with the ILs and then tonight we say goodbye to them and our BS who is spending 10 days on the Sunny Coast with them. WH and I will be childless all that time and it’ll be very weird. Next weekend I’m a bacheloress as WH travels up to bring BS home. WOOHOO - training whenever I want, eating clean food and staying away from the alcohol – even though I’ve arranged a night out with the girls.
This morning was like Christmas again as I received my first training program from Liz. Its refreshing to see how different her approach is and I’m excited about doing things a bit differently. So I have tomorrow’s training schedule all spelled out and I just have to give it my all. I like that, as left to my own devices I haven’t always done the most effective things training wise.
Speaking of which, yesterday and today had almost identical mornings in terms of being quite fresh and moderately windy (a welcome change after the extreme heat we’ve enjoyed here in Adelaide recently). So my training sessions were almost identical too. Nothing earth-shattering just jogging at a steady state for 40 minutes yesterday and almost 45 minutes today. The variety Liz has programmed for the next 2 weeks will be a welcome change.
Anyways WH has just popped over to say we are heading out to lunch in 5 so I’m going to say goodbye for now.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
And a big warm welcome to 2008.
Our NYE was underwhelming to say the least. We had a family get-together for which I spent hours preparing a gourmet BBQ which was to be followed up with a games night. The food was ok (WH overdid the chicken a bit), nobody was drinking much and half the family was suffering various degrees of colds and other ills. With Moet on offer I weakened and had a glass but was saddened by the fact that – lo and behold – I didn’t even enjoy it. Food wise I could have done better as I found myself nibbling constantly with the pressure of getting everything ready (it wasn’t all done when our guests arrived) and having an extra kid to keep an eye on as BS had a friend come for a sleep-over that night.
Oh well its all in the past now so onwards and upwards from here. I spent yesterday keeping the boys under control, entertaining a stream of casual visitors and trying to get all my chores up to date before I came back to work today. It was a busy day ending in a (very uninspirational) dinner at my mum’s. This found me nibbling too much again – something I need to work on in the coming months.
I no longer make New Years Resolutions as I believe they are doomed to fail so these are the things I want to achieve in 2008. They have been in the back of my mind since Christmas and I’ve been working on them already so technically they don’t qualify as resolutions:
I will be competing in September in the WNBF SA Titles. My goal is to come in leaner with more muscle and I’ll know that I’ve achieved this by what my body composition is and how I look. My main areas to focus on this year are glutes and abs and I believe I can make some good gains in these areas. I have chosen to work with Liz Nelson this year (and I’m delighted that she was willing to take me on as a client) so that I can broaden my knowledge on all things to do with figure prep, healthy eating and lifestyle management.
This year I WILL get my eating under control. With Liz’s help I believe I’m ready to kick Betty the Binger out of my life and finally live with some eating normality. Whilst I may always struggle with emotional eating to some extent, I will learn how to minimise it and in doing so its my goal to embrace clean, healthy eating as a lifestyle choice and not something I feel I should do every now and then (like when I’m feeling fat and blobby LOL).
I am also focussing on being a more positive and balanced person. All too often I slip into my black hole and allow negative, self defeating thoughts to drag me down and justify my bad choices. Well I want that to stop, or at least to happen far less regularly. Once again I’m being realistic as I know that some old habits are pretty hard to break, but its something I will be consciously working on this year.
In 2008 I will share more with my WH. Whilst he will NEVER share my passion for bodybuilding/fitness etc, I know he will be far more accepting of what I’m doing and what means so much to me. I also want to share more fun times with him like going to the movies, going out to dinner (life is too short to be 100% strict with food) and relaxing Friday nights where we have a wine together and discuss whatever takes our fancy.
This year our BS will need our support even more as he settles into the new routine of school and a new set of rules and expectations. Its my intention to NEVER compromise my “family time”. That precious time between getting home from work and BS bathing and going to bed will be spent doing “family things” like talking about school or work days, helping with reading practice, speech practice or organising dinner/ lunches etc.
Career wise I have some very definite goals but they are on the back-burner for now. On this issue I’m taking more of a sit back and wait approach as I’m not ready to take charge just yet. On a day to day basis my goals are to pay more attention to detail and be more proactive as I felt I was slipping in these areas last year. I’m not totally happy where I am but I’m not ready to take the giant leap to what I want.
So that’s my quick round up of what’s important to me in 2008. I never did the whole formal goal setting thing but these things live in my heart and I choose to strive to achieve them in order to become a better person.
May everyone who reads my blog embrace 2008 as a fresh opportunity to move forward and achieve all their goals and ambitions. And lets not forget to have some fun along the way.