SUNDAY RAMBLINGS

Our beloved exercise room. It was here that I did most of my weight training for my comps last year. (There is a barbell and extra dumbbells that you cant see.) In this room I achieved, I worried, I rejoiced, I cried, I sweated and I swore. But this where I transformed myself from Fat Girl to Figure Girl (+ lots of outdoor running) ..... so its a pretty special place.

My cruddy exercise bike and our new whiz bang rower (that is WH's favourite exercise toy). Its all a bit of a mess but then its used nearly every day so it should look like people train there. I love this room and I love the "me time" I spend in there. But all too often, BS wanders in while I'm training, picks up the 2kg DBs and lifts with me. Aaaaaah a chip off the old block I say LOL!!

Eeeegads I look awful but I'm proud of this shot. I had just finished a 1 hour + 5 mins cardio session this morning. I've been redder but today I finished with rowing so it wasnt the most intense block of the session. I was feeling GREAT!!

I woke up early today so when it got light(ish) I headed out for some early training. I did a walk/jog warm-up then 12 repeats of 30 sec run / 30 sec walk then 12 repeats of 100m sprint / 100m walk then jog home and 12 mins ss on exercise bike and 12 mins rowing ss (Program 1) on Level 10 (moderate - hard). Cals burned = a smidge over 500. (Punching the air to the tune of Eye of the Tiger).

We went out for breakfast to The Store in Melbourne Street North Adelaide and I had portugese rye bread toasted with grilled gypsy ham, scrambled eggs + roasted tomatoes with basil pesto. It was to die for :-) It was a big serve and I ate most of it but that'll keep me going for a good many hours so not a lot of damage done (me thinks). Dinner will be a basil/chilli/chicken stir fry and lunch ... well not sure if I'll need it as such. (Will certainly wait til I'm hungry before I eat again.)

Scale weight had dropped a bit more this morning so am now a smidge over 66 and I LIKE IT!!!

Have a great day guys.

Magda

SATURDAY RAMBLINGS

I'm pleased to be able to say that I've clocked up another good day. WOOHOO!!

Lower body training this morning saw me increase my weights on ALL of the exercises - even the dreaded step-ups. Then I followed it up with a 1/2 hour walk/jog as my legs felt a bit tired and heavy. I put my HRM on from the beginning of the leg session and although that didnt get my HR up significantly I'm happy to report that I burned just shy of 400 cals all up.

My scale weight was down a little more today which is good but it could easily be water fluctuations too. Its not the number on the scale that is making me feel so good I know.

Training was followed up by my fave at home breakfast (oats/vanilla soy protein/psyllium husks/egg whites/cinnamon/Splenda cooked into a pancake and served with sugar free maple syrup, LSA and a chopped banana. I think I told my WH no less than 3 times how GREAT I felt.

Then it was domestic chores around the house and grocery shopping where I took my time reading more labels and comparing the nutrition info of some of my fave products. As I was doing this I thought of Cat's post where she wrote about the habits of lean and healthy people. Well I was one of them today!! No junk in my trolley - I tell a lie, I have a son and I do allow him treats AFTER he has eaten his healthy meals. I had a ball though. I even saw the El Paso wholewheat tortillas and immediately thought of Raechelle LOL!!

I didnt manage a photo of it today but I made something really nice (and clean) for dinner tonight. Its modified from the Womens Weekly Easy Spanish Style Cookery book.

CRUMBED SARDINES WITH ROASTED TOMATO SAUCE

7 fresh sardine fillets (these are small-medium butterflied doubles - I had 3 and WH had 4)
1 egg white
70g fresh wholemeal bread crumbs (because the fillets are small you use a fair bit to coat them all)
handful of chopped continental parsley.

I seasoned the fish in a little salt and more pepper, coated them in the egg white and then in the breadcrumbs with the parsley in it. Then I sprayed them with cooking spray and "baked" them in the oven for about 15mins.

ROASTED TOMATO SAUCE

3 medium Roma (egg) tomatoes (about 225g) roughly chopped
2 cloves garlic, peeled/crushed
1T red wine vinegar
2t brown sugar (1/2 what the recipe called for)
1 med onion (about 100g) roughly chopped
2t olive oil (1/2 what the recipe called for)

Combine all ingredients in a baking dish . Bake, uncovered in hot oven about 30 mins or until onions are soft. Blend or process until smooth.

Serve the fish fillets with the sauce on the side and a tossed salad. This was delicious and my meal ,with 1 cup of salad was:

Cals: 419
Fat: 17g (sardines are a higher fat fish but its all good Omega 3s so dont let this number worry you!!)
Protein: 32g
Carbs: 34g
Fibre: 10g

If you cant get fresh sardine fillets then tommy roughs are a good substitute.

So I hope you also had a good day and lets all make the most of tomorrow.

Cheers guys

Magda

STRIKING GOLD

For Lisa, my (almost) 6 year old son snapped this tonight so sorry about the quality but here I am at a smidge under 67kgs. Too big and flabby around the middle for my liking and these shorts hide the worst part of my legs. But its me as I am now. (And I'm smiling so its not THAT BAD)

Every now and then you just have a day when it feels like you've struck gold. Today was my day. Here's why.

Weighed this morning and was a smidge under 67kgs. I know its only a number but its nice when the number in the current week is less than the number in the previous week.

Then its time for my upper body training and I (confidently) increase the weights on my bench press and deadrows. Its hard work but I make it and I'm feeling very pleased with myself.

As I've posted before, every Friday our floor has a shared morning tea. In past times I've had the strength to resist all the junky carbs but recently this hasnt been the case. Lately I've loaded one small plate full of cakes, biscuits, bread, cheese and crackers and then often gone back for a 2nd, 3rd or (dare I say) 4th helping. Some days I've just grazed on the left-overs all day :-( I felt different today. I packed my usual morning tea (low fat creamed cottage cheese sprinkled with cinnamon and Splenda + an apple) and decided that I would have that and not risk approaching the "danger zone". So morning tea came around and I went to the cafeteria area. OMG the spread was AMAZING. So many cakes, hot X buns, donuts, Tim Tams, cheese and crackers and 2 big bowls of mixed fruit + nuts. (These are all foods I absolutely LOVE!!!). For a moment I looked at it and thought "OMG that looks fantastic" but then I realised I actually DIDNT WANT ANY OF IT. And it wasnt even a case of "Geez I'd love some but I wont/cant". I actually DIDNT WANT IT!!!!!! I ate my snack and felt fine. No anxiety. No feelings of deprivation. No need to call on some superhuman strength to resist it. I just didnt want it. (Somebody please tell me how to capture this and bottle it).

Today I really threw myself into an aspect of my job thats been much neglected over recnt times. I was quite surprised at how much I enjoyed it and how much more motivated it made me about my work. Its ignited a spark which will see me push myself harder to achieve more and this I know will result in improved self-esteem and will take my mind off food when I'm at work. I'm going to prove (just to myself mainly) that you dont always need to change jobs to find happiness. Sometimes a change in approach and ATTITUDE can have a very positive result.

So all good with the food today. No cardio today but will be huffing and puffing again tomorrow. I have some nice dinners planned for our Adelaide Cup long weekend and we are having breakfast out on Sunday morning as WH's golf game was cancelled due to the forecast scorching heat.

I'm sure I'll blog more over the weekend. Have a great one guys.

Cheers

Magda

THE RETIRED INSTRUCTOR COMES OUT OF RETIREMENT - FOR ONE NIGHT

Hi all,

just a quick post about my venture back to the gym, back on stage, all miced up (verb of microphone) and ready to rock the 5.30 Basic Step class LOL

I walked on the wild side and dared to bare my legs in shorts. Not totally happy but they were (fake) tanned and I wore my best shorts in terms of the fabric having good hold and being flattering. I arrived early and was ambushed by one of the owners wanting to do a big catch up on the comp stuff + where I'm at today. I had to cut him off so I culd go and set up.

YIKES!! New sound equipment and the other Instructor gave me a 10 xecond lesson on how to use it. It wasnt enough and I had major problems cueing to the tracks I wanted to use. OK but put that aside and the class went well. I slipped into my warm-up like a comfortable pair of old slippers. I was cruising. The step chorey went well and I worked them HARD with lots of crossing the step across the width. I had forgotten how hard it is to keep talking (loudly) while you are also training. We have mics but its still tough on the voice.

Then I was let down BIG TIME. My gym no longer has a Les Mills licence and Body Pump is no longer offered. They have replaced it with a step/aerobics/weights hybrid class the name of which I've forgotten. It was awful. Weight increases on a barbell in very short time, single count moves for small muscle groups with heavy weights and just so much chopping and changing that I almost fell over my barbell and certainly dropped the weight plates. It felt like I spent more time stuffing around with the barbell and plates than I did training. NOT FOR ME!!! I'll stick to training as I know it now.

So will I teach again? Maybe to help them out but I wont be racing back for more just yet. Some of my old regulars were there and it was nice to be welcomed back but I told the boss (again) that I'm not interested in any permanent classes.

So on that note I'll take myself off to bed and look forwardto my (effective) upper body training session tomorrow morning.

G'night all

Magda

A LITTLE MORE ON NLP

“Have you ever started an exercise program, all guns blazing, and then sabotaged yourself? Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is all about effectively training, or reprogramming the brain so that we can overcome existing limits and fears to create new behavioural choices that will help us in what’s important to us.” Women’s Health and Fitness Vol. 13 No. 11.

This is what grabbed my interest and I’m working with it but from a nutrition perspective. I’ll keep you posted as to how I feel its working, or not. I feel good again today.

Yesterday my copy of “Taming the Feast Beast” arrived and this also looks like a good resource to help me gain control over my eating and stop battling constant weight loss and gain. (A big thanks to Liz for recommending it in another one of my desperate moments).

OK onto lighter stuff as there is more to life than my eating struggles.

We are enjoying another bout of hot weather here in gloriously sunny Adelaide. Some would argue about my use of the word “enjoying” but for me its nothing but!! I’m loving this heat and lapping it up as I know it wont be long before Autumn sets in and then another long, cold winter is right on our doorstep once again.

Earlier this week I was mapping out my training for the week and had decided that I wouldn’t train early this morning as I was teaching a Step class tonight and then I was going to stay and participate in Pump. So why get up early when both cardio and weights would be covered in the evening? But I love training early morning when the weather is warm and its not windy. So up I got and did some run/walk intervals and then some sprint/walk intervals. I felt so good when it was done and yep add tonight’s session and it will make for a BIG training day.

I’ve recently gone off my morning oats a bit. Adding the (much needed) psyllium husks makes the texture a bit unpleasant (think gelatinous) and although I put up with it for a while I’ve decided I’m NOT EATING something I just don’t like. So I’ve been enjoying a protein shake with the psyllium husks added to that and then having natural muesli with diet yogurt. The carbs and protein are fairly well balanced and I’m off-season so I figure its quite an acceptable meal. I do look forward to my Saturday morning treat of the oat/protein pancake with sugar free maple syrup, banana and LSA. A bit high in calories but I always have it after training around mid morning and miss my morning snack so it works out well.

I’m surprisingly calm about teaching again tonight as its been about 9 months since I last strutted my stuff in front of a class. And I haven’t even been going to classes. I’m hoping that the old “its like riding a bike” philosophy just kicks in and all will be well. It’s a “Basic Step” class – freestyle and simple chorey but I always make them work hard – in my book simple doesn’t equal easy. Last night I was trying on different pairs of shorts to see which were more flattering but I also threw a pair of long pants into my gym bag just in case I chicken out. I even spray tanned my legs this morning. Do you sense some vanity or self consciousness coming through there????

Wish me luck folks. I look forward to reporting back.

Cheers

Magda

THE POWER OF NLP

I’m working hard to improve myself this month. Already I’ve hit some rocky patches with the lunch out on Sunday followed by a conference day where again I ate stuff I’m trying to avoid (or at least just have occasionally). Yesterday I could feel myself falling back into my dark hole where I’m consumed by negativity and all I want to do is eat, eat and eat some more.

I knew I had to take action quickly before March ended up as bad as or worse than February. I know my problem is in my mind and in my beliefs and the unhelpful self dialogue I have with myself when troubled times hit. But how do I fix it? And how do I fix it permanently? Actually I believe it cant be “fixed” but it can be “managed”. So how do I better manage this issue/problem/situation that (sometimes) dominates my life?

I remember reading about Neuro Linguistic Programming in recent issues of Women’s Health and Fitness. From the brief information I’d read it sounded like it could help me so I checked out some info on the web only to find that courses were very expensive (and for once they were available in Adelaide). So I went to an old issue of WH &F and re-read an article on it and just did the exercises described in the article.

Things are looking up today. I’m not touting this as a miracle cure but I’ve had many instances lately where I’ve tried all sorts of different things to pull myself out of the negative doldrums without success so this has been a nice breath of fresh air. I know that I’ll look further into this but would welcome any comments from others who’ve had experience with NLP or other similar therapies.

Cheers

Magda

PERCEPTIONS PART 2

After reading the comments added to my last post I thought I’d add my replies via this Part 2 post. I tried to snap some pics of me before my training this morning but the flash reflected off the mirror and they didn’t work out. I’ll try to get some soon.

I truly believe that the average man (who is not into body building) prefers a woman who eats and who is curvy and happy and relaxed around food. I don’t believe that the average man places any importance on body fat levels being under a magical number or worries about whether our bums look big in whatever (unless of course they are huge). I reckon the average man would look at a size 12-14 woman and if she was well groomed, dressed nicely and had a good sense of self he’d think she looked good. These are my thoughts based on what I observe about my husband and other average men in my life.

Its us women that set ourselves the sometimes unreasonable high standards and battle our insecurities around whether we are thin enough, toned enough, muscly enough. Most men, up to a point, couldn’t really care less.

My WH found the comp prep very hard to deal with last year. Aside from the weird dieting, the full-on training and the time commitment required, he HATED the way I looked. He finds nothing sexy about muscles on women. Nope not interested. I lost my butt and was as flat as through that area. Sexy?? No way. Boobs: My D cups turned into sagging skin. Sexy?? Anything but!! And he is a big breast man (literally!!). At 57kgs he hated the way I looked saying I was a bag of bones (and to some extent I was) and I started to consciously hide my body from him as much as I could. Did this make for a healthy relationship??

He likes me slim with some tone but in his perception that’s at 63 – 65kgs. Get down near 60 and its just not THAT attractive to him.

Like Pip I have also ridden the weight rollercoaster even before competing last year. I’m 171cms (5 foot 7 inches) and before competing last year my weight had ranged from 59 kgs (for about 1 or 2 days) up to 76 kgs (after a 3 month holiday). However I tried to keep my weight around 67 kgs and certainly under 70kgs (not because that was a weight I was happy with but because I never had the focus or determination to keep the weight off all the times I lost it to get under that weight.) This is a battle I’m still fighting hence the miserable time I’ve had lately.

Undoubtedly some people get very uncomfortable when previously large people start to lose weight and I have experienced this many times. I’m not sure if its jealousy, envy, or just making them feel like they are slack or maybe a bit of a sloth but reactions are often negative. I have friends who are slimmer than me and they didn’t feel comfortable when I became slimmer than them. On the flip side, I also have a friend who was always a bit heavier than me who went through a marriage break up and lost a lot of weight. When I eventually saw her (after moving back to Adelaide) looking so slim I felt really awful about how I looked and I didn’t like the fact she looked better than me. I’m sure there is a weight pecking order amongst friends and she had changed it to my detriment. NOT HAPPY!! (I might add that I was far more upset about her marriage break up – I’m not THAT shallow – but the weight issue still registered negatively on my radar).

So I sit here today at 67 – 68 kgs. Its not a weight that I feel good at so I’m working on fixing that. I may be off-season but I'm creeping back to the "fat girl" I want to leave behind. But I have listened to my boss and I’ve accepted the compliment and I’ve come away telling myself that the number on the scales will NOT determine my worth as a person. Whilst I don’t feel like one hot chickie babe right now, I know that a few kilos away I will and until then I’ll just fake it.

Cheers

Magda

PERCEPTIONS

Today we had lunch at a friend's country property with a group from work. It was a lovely day out with good food (they did a lamb roast and we were all waiting for Tom to Cruise in LOL), a few wines and great conversation.

Our Director (read that "big boss") was there just casually socialising with us all. I'll call him JC (coz they're his initials and for no other reason). JC is a very focussed and determined high achiever. In December last year he climbed Mira Peak (in Tibet) with a group led by Duncan Chessell who is a world famous mountaineer. It wasnt his first mountain climb and we were told today it wont be his last even though he is 56 years old. I have always admired and respected JC. I've always gotten along well with him and found him easy to talk to and very interesting to talk to.

So at lunch today JC leans over the table and says to me "Magda do you mind if I ask you a personal question?".
I'm a bit nervous but I reply "No go ahead" (very slight hesitation there).
"How much weight have you gained since your comps last year?"
Now at this point I'm sure I turned red (it felt like it) and I just wanted to crawl under the table and die of shame. But I did a very quick calc in my head and told him the amount quickly adding that yes it was a bit too much and I wasnt happy about it rarara.
What do you think he said?





Blow me over his reply was "Magda you look fantastic (again). Doesnt she look fantastic guys (to the others there)? Its great to have the old Magda back".

And all this with not a hint of ridicule or sarcasm or put down. He was 100% genuine.

I sit here shaking my head as you all know that I'm NOT HAPPY with the weight I've gained back and yet twice in a week I've been told how good I look.

GO FIGURE???!!!

Cheers

Magda

A DAY IN THE LIFE .....

7.10Woken up by BS. Send him to watch TV. Its too early to get up. I neeeeeed more sleep pleeeease.

7.30 BS: "Mummy I'm a bit hungry now". Grrr have to get up and feed the munchkin.

7.35 Hop on scales. 68.1 (I wish the last 2 numbers were the other way around LOL). Cest la vie. I'm feeling good today and this WILL NOT ruin my day. Go back to bed.

8.05 Training time :-) Upper body + cardio on the rower and exercise bike. A good session.

9.40 Oat/protein pancake with sugar free maple syrup, LSA + banana for breakfast. YUMMO!! By now I'm feeling great. I could slay dragons and I'm ready to tackle the day.

10.10 Shower and get ready. Hmmm size 11 jeans dont ft anymore (sadly they are not stretch fabric) so I resort to black trackie pants. At least they are good quality, clean and look as good on as trackie pants can. I put on a nice lipstick to compensate for the trackie pants. Its all good.

10.35 Throw a load of washing in.

10.40 Grocery shopping. Most people hate grocery shopping but I really enjoy it. I read labels, compare prices, sneak in a few treats for my BS and consider all this to be "fun".

11.35 I believe in supporting my local businesses so I stop in for a skim cappuccino and enjoy it WITHOUT a cake or biscuit. GO ME!!

12.30 Arrive home with food - yay we can all eat now. I make BS his lunch and put groceries away.

1.30 Lunch time. Wholegrain pasta with lots of veges + a tin of sardines in tomato sauce. YUMMO AGAIN :-)

2.15 Housework hustle time. Again I'm wishing we lived in a modest townhouse instead of this sprawling house with way too much space for 3 people. I clean and wipe and sweep and mop and I barely scratch the surface of all there is to do. Oh well in my busy schedule somethings gotta give and its the housework.

3.30 Time to drag BS off the computer and hit the kitchen. We make chocolate crackles. BS eats the mixture before it has set and I dont touch it. ANOTHER WIN.

4.50 Yummo its time for my afternoon snack. I have a DietLite yogurt (passionfruit) with added WPI + a peach. Happy again.

5.00 Start preparing dinner. WH has chosen a Lamb Biryani recipe from the CSIRO 2 book. Its a bit of work as I've bought a leg of lamb that needs cutting off the bone, trimming of fat and then dicing. The rest is easy peasy.

7.00 We have the Lamb Biryani for dinner with steamed asparagus. I resist having wine (will have some tomorrow as we are out for lunch). Dinner is delish. We sit outside and chat about our next big venture. Do we do it or dont we? Its a great debate.

8.30 Bath and bed time for BS. Sort and fold washing. Clean up kitchen.

9.45 Kick WH off computer and catch up with blogs and blogging.

So today was a bit of a busy blur. Where did it go? But in amongst all that I had time to reflect on what I've been through in the last few weeks. Where I went wrong and why I seem to do it over and over again. I loved the food I had today and my training felt great. So how/why do things always go off the rails for me?

I have accepted a fill in class at my old gym on Thursday evening. Its just a Basic Step class but its one I used to teach before I moved interstate. I wish I was a bit leaner and therefore in a bit better shape after not having seen the members there for some time (July last year). But this is who I am right now and I'll just have to do an outstanding job of teaching so I'm judged on that and not on how podgy I am around the middle or on the legs.

Cheers all

Magda

KISSING FEBRUARY GOOD-BYE

Today is the last day of February and an extra day at that, being a leap year. Whilst I don’t want to wish my life away I’m more than happy to kiss this month goodbye. I started with big goals and great intentions but the wheels fell off for me and it turned out to be an awful time, in the main, for me.

So I’m looking at tomorrow as a new beginning. A new month, a new season hopefully a new era. I’m not making any grand promises or setting challenging goals that will stress me and set me up for failure. But I’m looking for improvement. Better food choices and eating habits. Regular training. Moderation . A positive and happy outlook.

Whilst I don’t like the weight I’ve gained, I accept it and I know that if I achieve what I set out to do then it’ll come down again. I know that to dwell on the past is counter-productive so I’m looking forward.

How are you approaching the new season?

Cheers

Magda

MY CAREER DECISION

Last year in a fit of boosted self confidence and self esteem I had an overwhelming urge to leave my secure project management job in the government and try my hand as a Real Estate Sales Agent. I was convinced that I had what it took to be successful and I so craved an exciting and challenging career change.

I didn’t pursue it then but circumstances earlier this year meant that I now could and even my WH was supporting me in this endeavour. (His initial reaction had NOT been positive!!). So I started to find out all I could about the Real Estate world and what the life of a Sales Agent was really like. I have a friend in RE and he told me heaps but I also met with RE recruitment and training people and franchise owners. I really did my home-work.

I found out about the good (potential earnings) the bad (realistic earnings when you start out) and the downright ugly (cold-calling, door-knocking, rejections, the possibility of no earnings if you don’t secure listings and I have more that I could add to that list). Then there was all the personal stuff like how it would affect my family and I eventually came to the decision that I wouldn’t do it.

It took weeks of feeling good and positive about it and then swinging to having lots of doubts and second thoughts before I realised that I had to (wanted to) put my family first and not subject us all to such financial stress and uncertainty. Add to that the evening and weekend work and I knew deep down that it wouldn’t sit well with my WH and my BS needs me at those times.

I’m a smidge disappointed (about 5%) but I’m 95% really happy and comfortable with the decision I made. Further to this, WH and I talked about how I could work towards being better at my current job, how to get more satisfaction from it and what other job opportunities I could pursue within government. I’m feeling good about that and I’m making myself come to work with an improved attitude.

Now that this decision has been made I don’t feel so lost and drained and in a constant state of upheaval. I’m hoping that this reflects positively on other areas of my life. I have some other decisions to make (to compete this year or put it off to next year) but I’m going to give myself some time to just see how things pan out and how I really feel about it.

Bring on some happier times. I’m ready.

Cheers all

Magda

ALL DARK CLOUDS HAVE A SILVER LINING

Last night I went through the motions of setting up my weights ready for training this morning, setting my alarm for 4.50am, soaking my oats and psyllium husks, having my training gear all ready to throw on and having my meals for the time I’m at work all prepared and ready to go.

Small steps but progress in the right direction.

I’m taking Combat Girl’s advice and just setting myself some weekly goals. Nothing earth-shattering just some things that I’ll try to bring back into my life. Things that should never have slipped but I wont dwell on that.

So this morning I trained again and followed it up with a nice healthy breakfast. I was in a better mood already. More patient and even looking forward to the day (well as much as you look forward to a work day LOL).

Maybe the silver lining is just coming through on those dark clouds.

I certainly feel better having decided about my work/career goals. (More on that soon). I know other bloggers (hi Raechelle) are having similar issues and like me, are finding the indecisiveness very unsettling. Whilst I acknowledge that its not a valid excuse for eating badly and missing training, I know for me it certainly makes things harder and in my recent frame of mind I was just giving in too quickly and too easily.

Today Cat’s post about depression really got me thinking about why I feel so down. The truth is that I actually have a great life. I have a good job, a wonderful husband, a beautiful son, I’m healthy and I’m even the envy of many overweight and unfit ladies who work on my floor. So how do I explain why I’m feeling so down? Its my struggle with food, making good choices consistently and being able to maintain a reasonable weight (and I don’t mean anything close to my comp weight). These things challenge me constantly and there are just too many times when they beat me for a whole range of reasons (excuses????)

But I refuse to give up because that’s not the person I want to be. When I read Lisa’s post “I’m just doing it” I realised that this is what I want to be able to say in the (not too distant) future. It truly gives me hope and inspiration.

Thanks guys!!

Magda

BITTERSWEET DAY

I decided to weigh myself this morning.

RESULT: Depressed and miserable. I knew it wouldnt be good and I was right.

After suffering with all sorts of aches and tightness and pain and loss of mobility yesterday, I saw the chiro today for some overdue treatment and relief. Then I caught up with the Lovely Miss Kerry who was kind enough to pay me (undeserved) compliments when I'm feeling so down. If I let myself believe them, I actually feel good for a while. We talked all things training, dieting and competing which I always love.

The reality for me is that I have no direction this year. All my goals are on hold until I decide what I'll do on the job front. So much hinges on that and I'm suffering under the pressure of it all.

I had another meeting in relation to the job issue this afternoon and I left it feeling positive but the reality is that I swing from positive to negative over and over. Its just draining. WH and I talked very frankly about it again and I'm 90% decided but I just need to work out a few more things before I feel comfortable with my (our) decision.

I will post more on this soon.

Magda

ARE YOU WHERE YOU WANT TO BE?

What sets apart a winner from some-one who plugs away but never makes real progress?

Why do some people succeed at making permanent changes to their lives while others make short-lived changes and then revert back to their old ways?

How can mindsets and beliefs be challenged to the point where they are changed?

How often do we sit down, take stock and decide that things need to change? So we plan our strategy, decide on our course of action and away we go improving ourselves, our lives. Then at some point down the track we slip up, we fall over and whoa its all too hard and we give up until its time to sit down, take stock and decide that things need to change.

Sound familiar??

This is the rut I’m trying to break out of.

OK I’ve achieved some big things in my life:
Good job with travel around the state and physical evidence of what I do/produce.
With WH I adopted a beautiful boy from South Korea.
I’ve travelled extensively both overseas and within Australia.
I own a beautiful home (well in partnership with the bank LOL) and have a nice car.
Training for, competing and winning in my first Figure Comp last year.

Now the next thing I want to add to my list of achievements is to make clean, healthy eating and regular training a lifetime commitment.

Not for a few days, a few weeks, until its holiday time or until I’m feeling stressed/bored/frustrated/anxious etc but for a lifetime. (Oh and then to just shut up and get on with it and not feel like I deserve a medal because I’m doing it).

That’s where I want to be.

Where are you and where do you want to be?

Magda

GOING IT ALONE

A little while ago I made the difficult decision to train on my own without the wonderful help and input I've had from Liz Nelson at The Fitness Solution. I will miss her support, encouragement and very down-to-earth-no-nonsense approach. Liz's knowledge of training and dietary requirements is second to none and she has convinced me that there is a healthier and more balanced way to get lean and put on some "sexy muscle".

I ended 2007 with a 110% effort to clean up my diet and tackle my food demons. January saw me going strong for the first half and then some bad days started creeping back in. I'm ashamed to admit that February has been a struggle. The good days have been few and far between. Yet with every bad eating episode Liz took the time to explain what was happening, why it was happening and gave me strategies to deal with the challenges. When I dreaded "confessing" another bad eating episode, she'd write something that inevitably made me feel better and I'm so grateful for that.

So now its up to me. I must take stock of everything I've learnt - about the physical, about the emotional and about myself and start taking positive steps once again. A friend once told me this saying and its very true: Magda you have all the tools in your shed, now its time to use them. Its time to stop reading the self help books/articles, stop searching for the magic system and its time TO DO. Only I can make the changes which will allow me to live the life I want to live.

THANK YOU LIZ FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. YOU'RE A LEGEND :-)

Magda

THE JOURNEY TO THE COMPETITION STAGE - MY PERSPECTIVE.

Today I’d like to share my views on life as a bodybuilder/figure competitor (BB/FC). Please don’t take this as a lesson or a sermon for its not intended to be that. Its merely my opinion, written from my perspective. There will undoubtedly be parts that you will disagree with, just like there will be parts that will ring very true.

When you choose to become a BB/FC you choose a sport that is in fact a lifestyle. Training is paramount and requires a high level of dedication not only to make sure that you do every scheduled session but that you give it 100% of your effort both physically and mentally. Yep that’s easy to write but put it into practice and it becomes a LOT HARDER. Life will always throw up events and situations that will intrude on your training time so you need to be flexible and willing to change your routine if that happens. There will be times when you just don’t feel like training. Bad luck!! Suck it up and just do it. You cant afford to be giving yourself days off because you don’t feel like sweating or grunting that day.

Then there’s the diet. A big challenge for many FCs. In the off-season there is some flexibility but the basic principles still apply. If you’re training for muscle growth your diet must support this. If you’re leaning down for comps then again your diet must support that. The restricted diet affects your social life (Friday happy hour at the pub after work??? – NOT LIKELY!! - unless your comfortable having diet soft drinks/soda etc and just watch everyone else drinking). It affects your free time as your food prep becomes more time consuming (Grab a protein bar + an apple for a snack – NOT LIKELY). It affects you mentally as you may suffer cravings, or you might be fighting feelings of deprivation or you might just be starving hungry. At some stage you’ll probably cheat and then you’ll beat yourself up over it. Yep on many levels the diet is tough.

What about all the other factors around BB? Are you lucky enough to have a partner who’s also into the sport and has some understanding of what is required to be successful? If not, you may still have a partner who is there with you and supporting you all the way – maybe training with you, eating similar to you – all those little things help. But what if your partner has no interest in the sport and no intention of supporting you with your diet or training? They may resent the time you spend training because its time you’re not spending with them. They may miss being able to sit down to a normal meal together and maybe having a glass of wine together. They may look at your shrinking size / loss of boobs / muscles appearing and they may not like how you look. How do you deal with all these challenges and this negativity?

Its important to understand that BB/FC is an “its all about me” sport. At the end of the day you have to decide how much of “you” you give to it. Yep there are stages at which you have to give a LOT of your time to it but there should always be some balance between that and your family life. Partners need to feel like they still matter and that you still enjoy spending time with them. Listen to what they have to say and negotiate a happy middle ground if you need to. Sometimes you may just have to say “If you cant be positive then please keep your opinions to yourself.” It may sound brutal but if it avoids an argument and lots of bad feelings then it’s a good thing.

Finally to be successful, never never never lose sight of your goals. Have your end date (comp day) firmly in mind and physically noted on your calendar, in your dairy, on your blog …. EVERYWHERE. Count down to it on a weekly or even daily basis.
Feeling a bit down or overwhelmed? Get out those progress pics and take a good long look at them. Cringe at your starting pics and then take major delight in your most recent pics.
Read back over your Training Journal and take pride in your level of commitment to that point. Give yourself a big pat on the back for how far you’ve come.
And keep going … one small step at a time. Get to the next meal, have it, stay on track. Next training session: visualise the muscles working, imagine how good they’ll look on comp day. Smile (even if you feel like cr*p).

Remind yourself that you are a strong, determined and focussed person who doesn’t give up when the going gets tough.
Remind yourself that the harder the task, the more rewarding the achievement.
Remind yourself that you’re on a journey and its just as important to enjoy the journey and not just the destination.
The glass can be half full or half empty. You choose how you view it on any given day. Make the right choice and you’ll succeed.

Cheers

Magda

BLOGGING AGAIN

I’ve decided to blog again.

I’ve missed putting my thoughts, experiences, hopes and aspirations in writing each day. In the meantime I’ve enjoyed reading what everyone else has been up to. Some are going great guns, some are struggling, some are sharing words of wisdom and some are absent (as we all need to be from time to time).

So where am I at now? Well I cant boast that I’m feeling magnificent or invincible or that I’m firing on all cylinders but I’m ok. I’ve had some very dark days and some pretty good ones too. I’m just riding with it all for now as I know that I’m not in the right place to be making big bold statements about all the incredible things I’m planning to achieve. That will come but I’m not ready for it now.

On the career front I have yet to make the decision whether to take the plunge or not. This uncertainty is unsettling in itself as it impacts on so many other aspects of my life and my family. Maybe my lack of decision is the decision itself? Having said that, I’m still researching things so that my eventual decision is an informed one. (I swear I’m turning into a Virgo with all this fact finding and analysis going on – its just SO NOT Cancerian LOL).

Training wise I’ve tried to be consistent and do my scheduled workouts whether I feel like it or not. In fact last week, in a period of sky high motivation I even trained twice a day on most days. GO ME!! But this week its back to mornings only as the evening routines are all out of whack with other stuff going on.

Diet is where I fall down though. Last week was great. This week not so. I suspect I know why but wont try to justify my actions with excuses. Subject closed because the tide will turn.

So that’s me on Wednesday 20th Feb. Honest about where I’m at. Thanks for all your comments of support on my last post. I haven’t responded individually but will do so again from now on.

Cheers

Magda

TAKING A BIT OF A BREAK

I'm just trying to sort through some stuff and have decided to take some time out from blogging. I'll be back when I feel better and its easier to write about things when the mountains resemble molehills once again.

Thanks to everybody for your never-ending support and understanding. It really means a lot to me.

Magda

AN OUT-OF- SORTS DAY - LOOKING FOR A PERSONAL CHALLENGE

I have a friend who works in the industry into which I'm thinking of changing careers. Last night he came over for dinner and a chat about his work and what to expect as a newbie to the game. It was very good to learn more and be better prepared for what will lie ahead if I do go through with the change. The only problem was that he stayed until almost midnight by which stage I had absolutely no interest in anything he was saying and all I could think was "GO HOME I'M TOO TIRED TO STAY UP ANY LONGER!!"

Hence ths morning I slept in til 7 (luckily I was having the day off) and then it was a mad rush to be out the door at 8 to take BS to school. As I was in the shower my plans for the day changed (my friend Miss G cancelled lunch) so I arranged to catch up with another friend Miss E before I did my shopping.

Now Miss E is my best friend and a one on one session like today can take up some time. Well we met at 9.15 and had breakfast and got talking. Then we had a 2nd coffee each and kept talking. A little later she had a juice, I had my 3rd coffee and yep you guessed it, still talking LOL. At 12 o'clock I said "if we keep going any longer we better find a lunch venue and keep talking there". But alas we both had jobs to do and we parted with a "gee that was a great catch-up. We must do that again."

OMG I spent the rest of the day in a mad rush to get all my jobs done (none of which were at home) and even had to resort to lunch from a drive thru as I had so little time before I had to pick BS up from school.

So in summary today I:

• missed training
• ate no protein for breakfast
• didnt have anywhere near 2 litres of water
• had fast food for lunch after having no food for 5 hours
• had wine with dinner .... GO ME....NOT!!!!

On the up-side though my WH and I are really thrashing this through and looking at it from every angle which is very important. Tonight he questioned whether I had the mental toughness, the internal steel and drive to push through the hard times that will inevitably come with this job. I believe I have but I want to demonstrate it to him before we make the decision to jump in. I'd like to know what you think I could/should do to show him that I have it in me. Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated .... I guess I'm looking for a bit of a personal challenge, an avenue through which to set myself a goal/challenge and achieve it (although not one over a long time frame so we can make final decision sooner rather than later).

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

Cheers all

Magda

FIGHTING THE FEAST BEAST

Starting this with a huge sigh .....

...... as you know I've been in a funny place this week with things not being on track for me. I've tried hard to stay ok about it all thinking "it'll pass and all will be good again" but it just wasnt happening. Its only through the exchange of a couple of emails with Liz that I understand whats going on and feel ready to tackle it HEAD ON.

I've always been honest about the struggles I have with food whether I'm in comp prep, off season or just trying to live a normal life. At this point you may well be thinking "yeah we all know so just build that bridge and get over it" - I often feel that way myself. But I also know that some of you have the same or very similar issues and sharing what we know and how we deal with our personal challenges may just help somebody else. I certainly hope so. I'd like to share some of the advice given to me by Liz just recently.

"..... your “Feast Beast” (is) telling you some huge sob story that you’re “gonna miss out if you don’t have any of that yummy pizza” and “heck, because I’ve just “sinned” and chowed down this pizza, I may as well go whole hog all afternoon and send accountability out the window”. When your inner Beast grabs hold of you and tells you those things, you’ve developed a pattern where you’ll listen to anything it tells you to. It’s actually telling you a huge lie – that eating junk food is the only way to happiness for Magda and when you see it written like that, it’s so embarrassingly obvious this isn’t the case at all"

"You’re succumbing to the belief that once you develop a pattern you keep it with you for life. ... At some point you’re believing that by continuing this behaviour, it is again giving you comfort. This is your Beast telling you another big fat lie. What if you told it that you were on to it and immediate gratification with crap isn’t leading to your long term contentment. Tell it you’re no longer going to buy into that game. Yeah the Beast will win some rounds, but keep punching and it’s you that comes out on top."

So its time to fight back and not let that FB win. Yes there are times when she is strong and fierce but I can be too. So with this knowledge and a bit of a strategy for handling the difficult situations I may just win a few rounds. Thats certainly what I'm aiming for :-)

Cheers all

Magda

BY POPULAR DEMAND

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all the lovely comments about my Championship photos.

I'm still in a funny place with things diet wise, prep wise and just with my overall attitude. Trying to sort through some stuff but life gets in the way. I'm sure it'll pass soon.

My trip went well today. I visited one of SA's poorer socio-economic areas and it was a real eye-opener as I hadnt been to this place for several years (apart rfom 18 or so months ago for a brief visit). I arrived a bit early so I parked in a shopping centre car park and treated myself to a nice coffee before my meeting. As I walked to and from my car and whilst in the coffee shop I was stared at like I was an alien. (I guess to them I was!!) It made me really self conscious and uncomfortable. After my meeting I grabbed some lunch and hit the road to come home. I'd seen enough and was looking forward to the end of the day.

Well its late again and once again I'm just not up to blogging about my "funny place" so I will sleep on it and look for answers there.

Good night all

Magda

REMINISCING

My pictures from the WNBF Asia Pacific Championships in Sydney (October 2007) arrived today (Yes they were VERY late). I have been checking them out and reminiscing and now I'm feeling all funny. So many things are going through my mind right now but its late and I'm not up to blogging about them tonight.

I have a trip to one of my country sites tomorrow with many hours spent driving. At times like that I drink too much Diet Coke as its the only thing that keeps me awake. I know its not good for me but better that then falling asleep at the wheel.

Talk again soon guys when I'm in a better place to share my thoughts with you.

Good night

Magda

SUNDAY GLORIOUS SUNDAY

Hmmm not the best photo but this "no added fat chicken parmy" was just superb for dinner tonight. I added more veges of course and WH was singing my praises saying it was delicious, substantial and almost indulgent. This one was his and I had one a little smaller and mine had 380 calories with a macronutrient breakdown of (including green beans on the side):

Fat: 8.4g

Protein: 46g

Carbs: 32g

Fibre: 7g

I made my own parmy sauce with various veges cooked with tinned diced tomatoes and lots of herbs and pepper added. I "crumbed" the chicken breast fillets in egg white and wholemeal breadcrumbs (which I had made from old stale bread). Then I sprayed the crumbed chicken with a little cooking spray and baked it in the oven. When ready, add a generous layer of the parmy sauce and a small amount of low fat cheese (I used Shape which isnt great to eat but is quite low in fat and a little of it melts ok). Pop it under a hot grill so the cheese melts and VOILA you have a mighty healthy chicken parmy which tastes clean and will keep you lean.

Quite the Domestic Goddess arent I??? LOL!!!!!

I love cooking clean and healthy meals that are more than a spiced piece of meat with salad or veg on the side. Those are ok for week nights when time is scarce but weekends call for something a bit more special.

So all up eats have been very good again today and I even managed a 30 minute row using one of the more challenging programs this morning. WH had a sleep in and I was up with BS so I put the time to good use. Plus I find that if I wake up tired and cranky then a good cardio session just sets me up for feeling good for the rest of the day ... well most of the time.

Well I'm looking forward to the week thats ahead and I hope you all are too.

Cheers

Magda

THE BALL IS STILL ROLLING

Over the last few days most of my time has been spent gathering information about my potential career change. I cant help it that I want as much info as quick as possible to help us make a decision that will undoubtedly be life-changing for us. I dont want to sound melodramatic but it is that significant.

So on Thursday I had lunch with a friend who works in this industry and while he talked I listened and asked questions in my thirst for knowledge. I've made several phone calls to various people and sat and calculated a heap of critical info. Last night WH and I had a couple of drinks with dinner and the conversation flowed (as it needed to). At the end of it I said " so the door is still open?" (knowing how difficult this change will be) to which WH replied "yes its open and you've got one foot in already".

At the risk of repeating myself yet again I will say that its scary and exciting - but hey if you dont live on the edge you are taking up too much space LOL.

Now onto things other than careers. Through all this I have trained consistently of which I'm very proud. I have settled into my new program quickly and in my 2nd upper body session I already (unknowingly) increased my weights in one exercise. GO ME!! I'm loving my cardio especially variations on running/jogging/sprinting. From somebody who wasnt very fond of anything that resembled running (and for ages I just maintained my trusty old "Cliff Young Shuffle") I'm now quite happy with my running ability and rarely dread heading out for a run of some sort. Its only when the weather is crap that I dont feel good running.

Diet has suffered a bit but instead of dissolving into a "woe is me I've stuffed up again" headset I've just picked myself up and today has been great. In fact I woke up feeling a bit ordinary (read that awful!!) ... you know when you havent eaten clean (too many carbs and fats), topped off with a cointreau (yummo!!) and a glass of wine and being woken up early ..... but decided that I would NOT spend the day moping around feeling sorry for myself. So I decided to CARPE DIEM (sieze the day) and started faking that I was feeling good and before long I was bouncing around without effort. By the time I headed out for my morning cardio I felt great and really enjoyed the half hour intense session. Follow it up with a clean and healthy breakfast, washing well under way and grocery shopping to tackle and there was no stopping me.

Poor WH though is not feeling good so we skipped going to the movies today and I have another date with trusty old Blogger tonight LOL. Never mind its good to catch up as I havent been near the computer much over the last few days.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend. Stay tuned for more in my ever-changing world.

Cheers all

Magda

CH CH CH CHANGES

As 2007 drew to a close I knew that 2008 would be a year of change. A year of progress and of learning and personal growth. Much of this started last year so it really was just a case of keeping the ball rolling.

I’m now about to experience some change that is both scary and exciting. Its on the work front and long overdue I can tell you. The wheels are starting to turn and that’s a good thing. I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to get to where I want to go but the fact that I’m moving towards it is exciting …. And yes a bit scary too.

The work changes will impact on other areas of my life but at this stage I’m not sure to what extent. When I think of all this I feel like I’m in limbo somewhat and its not a feeling that sits easy with me. I much prefer to know what I’m doing; where I’m going and how will I get there. Maybe these will be revealed in the next few weeks.

But for the moment I’m focussed on my training and adapting to extra calories in my diet. Yesterday the order from The Boss (aka Liz Nelson) was “EAT MORE”. Now with my history and all my preconceived ideas, habits and beliefs I can tell you that this doesn’t sit well with me. But I’m giving it my best shot (typing this feeling very full after a very substantial lunch). I may have to introduce some clean but higher calorie foods to better manage the volume of food I need to have. Training this morning was just PERFECT. It was a warm morning and no wind (just how I like it). Cardio was run and walk intervals and the time split felt just right. I could push it on the run and recover on the walk and when it was all done I felt FANTASTIC.

Cheers all

Magda

IN SEARCH OF VITALITY

For most of my life I have suffered low energy levels. This might seem strange as I’m an ex-aerobics instructor, a figure competitor and a mother who also works full-time. All of these things require a significant amount of energy which I always manage to find from somewhere but its that spring-in-your-step, that spark-to-your-being which seems to elude me. Its vitality and I wish I had more of it.

I know that energy levels will wax and wane depending on so many things. I’m not surprised that when in the full swing of comp prep last year my energy levels were quite low and I literally dragged myself around on some days. I also expect to be tired after teaching 2 high intensity classes (or 3 as I was doing just a few years ago) or after a heavy lifting session. But I wonder if it has to be so.

I believe that having a clean and healthy diet is a key component of having good energy levels. In this area I’m doing ok but there is plenty of room for improvement by cutting out the junky indulgences that keep sneaking past my lips LOL :-) . Enough sleep is also very important as is being active through regular training. I’m also ok with these areas although sleep does suffer a bit with my regular early morning starts.

So what else contributes to vitality? Passion, a sense of fulfilment, tackling challenges, a positive outlook …. This list is probably just the beginning and I’d love to hear your opinion on this.

Over the next month I’ve decided that I will be more consistent with my clean and healthy diet. I have and will continue to train regularly but I’ll pay more attention to getting a bit more sleep. Areas of my life do drain me and I just cant fake passion when it absolutely doesn’t exist but where it does exist I can focus more on it to reach the highs I so crave. (BTW that’s not a reference to any illegal substances. I’m talking happiness and fulfilment here).

Then I’ll reassess how I feel and if that energy and vitality still isn’t hitting me in the face then I’m going to book in with a naturopath and see if anything is out of whack.

So my February goal is to find vitality and invite it in.
What are you aiming to do next month?

Cheers
Magda

THE EVE OF MY RETURN TO WORK

Well after the horrible start to my day it all panned out ok in the end. Now before you all go thinking that my trainer is crazy LOL I must clarify that I made an honest mistake in reading what was required today. Funnily I even read it several times but misunderstood it and so the session should have been about 1/2 an hour long. Irrespective I still couldnt do it and that just will not do in future.

So I spent the day pottering in the kitchen making a banana cake which will go to work for one of our Friday morning teas. I made a healthy low fat and low carb lasagne yesterday which WH will have for dinner one night each week. I love having stuff frozen just ready to heat up, throw a salad next to and VOILA dinner is served. And this one will do no damage to his weight loss goals either.

We all went out for a game of mini golf in the afternoon and that was a lot of fun. WH took out the Tiger Woods honours but BS and I managed to beat him on some of the holes at least. We had a healthy BBQ for dinner and tomorrow's meals are pretty much organised. Now I just need to study my new training program so that I dont stuff it up (again) tomorrow morning.

I wish I was still off work tomorrow but alas our numbers didnt come up in lotto AGAIN so its back to the grind I go. At least its a short week with a shorter day on Wednesday as we take BS to school for his first day. He looks so good in his uniform that my heart just about bursts with pride :-)

Cheers all

Magda

PS I have been very slack in replying to comments so far but am now taking the time to do this. So if you leave a comment please look back as I will reply to you in the comments area.

I LOSE MY BREATH I FIND MY ANSWERS

Reading this catchy little saying by Lorna Jane, I always used to think "oh how cute is that". I liked it but it never had any meaning for me. It never struck a chord. Until today........

I had a bad experience this morning. I was dreading doing the cardio session that was originally programmed for last Friday as I had worked it out to be an hour long session with almost half of it sprinting (I didn’t have time for it last Friday as I had an early chiro appointment). So I had planned it for today. I woke up feeling bad in yet another negative state of mind. Nevertheless I headed out to do the session telling myself that I would do 3 repeats of the sprint intervals instead of 5 (which I honestly didn’t think I could physically manage).

Half way through the first sequence I was finding that I wasn’t recovering during the 30 second slow jogs even though my jogs were like a shuffle. Then on the 7th (I think) repeat (out of 10) I just couldn’t get enough air in. I finished the sprint and found that I couldn’t breath. I was gasping for breath and I got quite scared and maybe had a mini anxiety attack and then I dissolved into tears. I walked home and just did the lower body workout.

So many things went through my mind as I cried my way home. I thought of quitting completely and settling for a life of wife, mother, public servant etc. I thought of why my performance was so poor and why my fitness wasn’t better. I thought of needing time to myself to train at a level that felt right for me. I really just felt like throwing in the towel.

But as I did my lower body workout I reasoned things out with myself and decided that:

1. I WOULD NOT QUIT. There may be times when my body will not do what is programmed for a specific day but I’ll do what I can. To quit now is taking the easy option and that is not the person I want to be.

2. I now realise that my physical performance and my state of mind are DIRECTLY and ABSOLUTELY determined by my diet. I woke up feeling negative because once again many little indulgences had worked their way in to my day yesterday and I felt bad about that. I realise that the weight I’ve gained recently is NOT helping with my aerobic performance and I now realise (undoubtedly) that for me good nutrition on a consistent basis is the key to success in physical endeavours and emotional happiness. (I have been convincing myself otherwise for a lifetime. Yes, eat well for a while then bugger it, "I deserve to enjoy myself" mentality is what I've been living with).

3. Training on my own is not the answer for me when I have specific goals. My motivation and dedication come and go and I am far more successful when I have professional guidance and am accountable to that person. I WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL.

So in the few hours I’ve been up today I’ve already ridden the emotional rollercoaster but I’m feeling ok now. I know what I will be choosing to do from now on.

Magda

BURNS NIGHT IN A NUTSHELL

Well it was a fun evening and I enjoyed the food (more about that later). Yes Burns Night is a celebration of the life of Robert Burns a famous Scottish poet who lived in the 1700s. SIL went to great lengths to source the haggis and the other ingredients to make it as authentic as possible.

We all had some haggis which was just fine. If anything it was a bit bland but certainly not offensive. We also had a little black pudding which I found to be very tasty (its was salty - yummo) and mashed potatoes, creamed turnips (which were orange so I was confused about those) and steamed brocolli and carrots. At least I had a good vege intake LOL!! I inudulged in a couple of wines too and after the main meal BIL brought out the scotch whiskeys and he and WH had a "mini whiskey session". Even I had a small taste of a couple served neat and then with a drop of water. Hmmm I'm not a fan of scotch whiskey but it was interesting trying it. For dessert we had some shortbread and Scottish fudge.

Now for all of you cringing at this type of food (LOL!!) I can only say that it truly doesnt phase me. With a name like Magda I'm obviously from a European background and my age also suggests I grew up in an era quite different to today.

Vegetarians please feel free to tune out now!!

Coming from a poorer country where neither money nor food were abundant my parents are quite adept at being able to use EVERY part of an animal. From pure meat cuts to the offal and more they are skilled at making a tasty meal from it and this is how I grew up. I was never forced to eat anyhting I didnt like and I subsequently grew up liking most food. So when there is an unusual food like haggis or black pudding on offer I dont cringe. At the end of the meal I said to WH that I really enjoyed it and he jokingly replied "Ah yes you love your peasant food" which is not an insult because I actually do. Each to their own I guess.

This morning I woke up feeling fine (albeit it a little tired) but WH said his stomach felt rotten. Shaking head in dismay again .... I tell you I have the strongest constitution and he is a total woosy. Who would believe that my post comp meal was a big serve of creamy pasta, garlic bread and a slice of Mars Bar cheesecake and I felt GREAT when I finished eating it. Everyone said "how could you eat that after dieting strictly etc?" I shrug my shoulders and know that it felt like just what I needed.

Cheers all

Magda

WRAPPING UP THIS FAR FROM PERFECT WEEK

So Friday has rolled around in this far from perfect week. I've been pretty low and I've been ok. I havent seen a real high this week but some times will just be like that. I'm ok with it now.

I end the week realising that there will be tough times and they need to be dealt with. Turning to food (especially junky crappy food) isnt going to solve the problems or lift the spirits or ease the pressure or relieve the stress. It will taste nice for a few minutes and that was my downfall. Looking for that "feel good for 5 minutes" buzz over and over. Tomorrow starts another week for me and it will be a better one I just know.

Being on holidays was great but it presented so many challenges at what was already a volatile time for me. Thats not to say that I'm looking forward to going back to work though!! LOL.

Tonight we are celebrating "Burns Night" with my SIL + BIL (who is Scottish and has only lived in Australia for a few years). So whats "Burns Night" you might ask? I dont know all of the background but I do know that dinner will be haggis, nips and creamed tatties (turnips and potatoes I'm told). Followed by shortbread and scotch whiskey. Could it get any dirtier?? LOL!! Its also BIL's 40th birthday this weekend so it forms a double celebration. Does it also mean double the weight gain?? .... thinking out loud....
WH and I have decided to partake and write tonight off. After the week I've had a night like this isnt going to make a huge dent in my progress (I've already taken care of that!!).

Let me just say that I'll be training with a vengeance tomorrow morning :-)

Have a great weekend all

Cheers

Magda

HOW AND WHERE DOES THIS JOURNEY END

In the quest to eat clean, healthy food and thereby to live lean and clean, how do you know when you've made it? Is there a point at which you cross the finish line and can say "yippee! I made it"? How do you know that you have succeeded in reaching that goal? And if you have then on average, how long does it take? Oh and the burning question for me is "what does it feel like?"

Food for thought!!

I have been reflecting on the events of the last few days and the advice and comments made to me. I'd like to share the comments that have had the most impact on me in the hope they can maybe help others too.

From Liz: "Eating lean and clean becomes easier when its something you want to do because it makes you feel good (or whatever your reason is). It shouldnt be a struggle or a battle where success depends on how strong or determined you can be."
This comment really hit home for me. I have been inviting pain, struggles and battles into my life willingly and then I wonder why I'm so miserable. I think the answer is now quite clear.

From Rae: "The journey of self discovery is a long one and not a sprint around the corner".
I think my previous efforts have been much like sprint bursts. You go flat out and then you run out of breath and collapse. How can you possibly win a race or complete a journey using that tactic? Better to find a pace that you can maintain for the long haul, vary it a bit as required but forget the "dash to the finish line" as its the wrong tactic in this situation.

My goal today was to feel ok about what I ate and to eat when I was hungry and not overstuff myself. My food today wasnt all clean but I achieved my goals and for that reason I'm happy. Things will improve again from here.

I also took some positive steps to acknowledge all the good in my life and not to not sweat the small stuff.
I'm reminding myself to enjoy the journey and not to just live for the destination.
The glass can be half empty of half full. The decision is mine.

Good night all

Magda

PUTTING THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE

I have felt it all today...been up, been down, been round and round and getting nowhere.
I've smiled and I've cried.
I've hugged and kissed and I've yelled.
I've searched and found answers and laughter.
I've looked within but havent found what I was looking for. I'm sure its there and I'll find it soon.
I've checked on my loved ones and worries I had previously have been put to rest. But then new worries have come to take their place ... we cant have a "worry void" can we?? LOL

My day has been good and bad but I'm not allowing the bad to take hold.
I'm reminding myself that I'm not a bad person, just a person with some bad habits and learning new ways to deal with challenges will take some time.

I approached blogger feeling down and out and I'm signing off feeling ok. Thats thanks to the supportive and encouraging comments that were left on my last post. Thanks Raechelle, Cat, Rene and Kimmy. Your words really meant a lot to me and have helped to lift me up.

And finally thanks to Liz too. A lady who really understands the struggles we can go through and is there with honest and bl**dy good advice.

Good night all

Magda

OOPS I FELL OFF THE WAGON AGAIN :-(

My last post had me going great guns with delicious clean food and just the right attitude for success. I was in the zone and loving it. So what happened?

Saturday night we saw I Am Legend (loved it!!) and went out for a Malaysian dinner. We shared a prawn stir fry (very clean and healthy) and a serve of salt and pepper squid (not so clean and healthy). Little slip number 1.

Sunday morning we all went out to breakfast and without meaning to I had the fattiest thing possible on the menu. "Ah the damage is done" I'm thinking so I help to finish my BS's pancakes with maple syrup. Moderate slip number 2.

Mid afternoon rolls around and I have no desire now for anything clean and healthy so lunch follows this negative pattern. I go out to dinner with a friend and by this stage I'm totally in the "I'll eat whatever I want" zone. Major slips 3 and 4.

So on Monday most people would go "Ok back into the clean food again. The party's over" but I'm anxious and nervous about some recent developments. I'm under pressure and my taste buds have renewed their love affair with excess fat and carbs. Yep you guessed it. Double major slip 5 just plonked itself smack bang into my day and the less said about that the better.

I cant even brag that I've pulled it al back together today but I have had a very positive and helpful email from Liz and tomorrow will be a better day. Yes I have habits that have been with me a very long time and they wont disappear overnight so I must focus on the positives and pick myself up quickly if / when this happens again.

I will embrace tomorrow with a plan, a positive attitude and a determination to beat this bad habit once and for all.

Cheers all

Magda

WHAT ARE YOU HAVING FOR LUNCH TODAY?

CHILLI TUNA PASTA

This is my own creation.

Boil 30g of wholegrain pasta and drain.

Dry fry 1 cup in total of red onion, mushrooms, red capsicum.

Combine the 2 and add 1 small tin of Greenseas spicy chilli tuna, a handful of chopped continental parsley and a small tin of (drained) corn. (This will bump the carbs up a fair bit so it can be left out but I've indulged today).

Sprinkle with 2t of reduced fat parmesan cheese blend and VOILA a very yummy lunch. Mind you it is very spicy and my mouth is still tingling but I love that.

The nutritional breakdown (including corn) is:

Cals: 339

Fat: 5.4g

Protein: 26.9g

Carbs: 46.1g

Fibre: 11.3g

Without corn its:

Cals: 278

Fat: 4.6g

Protein: 24.9g

Carbs: 34g

Fibre: 9.8g

Enjoy!!

:-) Magda

CONTINUING WITH GOOD FOOD

Yes I'm really enjoying my food lately and it helps to have WH also wanting to eat clean and healthy. We even had our 2nd dry Friday night which is a rarity for him as he really loves a beer after work (towards the end of the week) and wine with a nice dinner. I actually felt a bit sad for him as I could see how badly he wanted to indulge but he was determined to not drink as he's trying to lose weight.

Dinner was delicious again. I bought a whole baramundi and stuffed it with sliced garlic and lime and a stuffing made from onion, mushrooms, red capsicum, a tin of Greenseas tuna with tomato and capsicum, a little finely chopped anvhovy and an egg white. WH baked it on the BBQ and we had it with a salad of (dry) roasted pumpkin, spinach leaves, fat free semi dried tomatoes, pine nuts and reduced fat feta. Lots of veges in all that, and a decent serve of protein with some good fats too. Plus the pumpkin and semi dried tomatoes are good carb sources so its a well rounded and clean meal. WH loved it too so this whole "dieting thing" (as he sees it) isnt too bad.

Liz has reminded me to keep my calorie intake up so its food glorious food right now and I've got to get it into me to build those sexy muscles :-)

Training today was bloody hard work as my lower body DOMS was (typically) worse today being the 2nd day. OMG everything was hurting like crazy and it took all my determination to keep running for the 25 prescribed minutes, even though I wasnt breaking any land speed records. I just kept telling myself that pain was no excuse and if I couldnt handle this then how was I expecting to improve my physique for this year's comps. Its amazing what you can achieve physically if your mental attitude is right.

And on that note I'm about to be kicked off the computer so I'll say good night and be back tomorrow.

Cheers all

Magda

AND FOR DINNER TONIGHT

PESTO BEEF SALAD

I modified a recipe from my healthy cooking - a commonsense guide cookbook. Here's how I made it:

To make the pesto: 1 bunch of fresh basil leaves (80g) + 3 cloves garlic + 3T (45g) pepitas processed in a food processor and then add 1T of good olive oil + a little orange juice + lemon juice (about 5mls each).Watch how much juice you use or it will be too wet and runny. This was quite tasty without the usual fatty ingredients of parmesan cheese and lots of oil. I'd make this again.

Take 1 large red and yellow capsicum and grill. Sweat it in a plastic bag and then peel them and dice them.

120g wholegrain penne pasta cooked in boiling water and drained.

I used 2 large mushrooms and chopped them into bite sized pieces.

2 bunches of asparagus steamed.

Topside steak with a little freshly ground black pepper + sea salt sealed in a hot pan and then rested for 5 minutes before cutting into thin slices.

Put it all together with the ingredients as warm as possible so the pesto spreads throughout the mixture and VOILA!!

I added my beef after the salad was put together so that WH and I could have different amounts of the meat. It was still good after a good dousing with freshly ground black pepper. That quantity makes 4 serves and we are both having t for lunch tomorrow YUMMO!!

Today I am suffering some serious DOMS in every muscle group below my waist. Its been so long I'd almost forgotten how good it feels LOL!! So despite hating yesterday's training session I now love it as its had the desired effect and I know its doing me good.

Cheers all

Magda

WHAT'S ON THE MENU TODAY?

Tossed salad of spinach leaves, flat leaf parsley, red and yellow capsicum. snow peas, cucumber, tomato and black olives with balsamic vinegar and flaxseed oil. Served with multigrain bread and tandoori chicken. Taste rating = 4.5 / 5. Just delicious!!

BS and I did the grocery shopping but escaped the shopping centre before lunch time. After the shopping he played X Box for 1/2 and hour while I did my training and then he ate his lunch very slowly while I finished training and had a quick shower. This was my post-workout meal and it was just superb.

We both had a big sleep-in this morning so the holidays (for me) got off to a fantastic start. Life couldnt be better right now and I hope it continues to be this great for the next week and 1/2.

:-) Magda

THE EVE OF MY HOLIDAYS

From tomorrow I'm on holidays until after the Aussie Day long weekend. No wonder I felt good today and had my eating 100% under control (Sadly this wasnt the case yesterday but thats history now). Even when a mildly stressful situation presented itself at work, I didnt run to find some junk to eat and I just got on with what had to be done and then rewarded myself with my yummy lunch (brown rice, my special stir fried veges + tandoori chicken).

Tonight's dinner was the same as yesterday's as its always convenient to make 2 batches of that pasta dish with flavoured tuna and veges. Its definitely one of my favourites too so I always look forward to having it. Listen to me ... all I've blogged about is food LOL!!

So training today was ok. Not a favourite session by any means but I did it through gritted teeth and recollections of recent posts by Liz and Kek (and others). Yes sometimes you just have to shut up and get on with it. No point whinging or wailing about what life dishes out. We all have choices and our choices have consquences -good and bad. I'll take a few more of the good thanks so I choose to train whether its a good day or not.

For various reasons I dont always choose to eat clean but I'm working on this and have already got the year off to a better start than previously. Now the trick is to keep the ball rolling along this positive path. My routine will be out the door now and there'll be temptatons galore, I'm sure, so I hope that things dont fall apart for me.

Tomorrow is training, grocery shopping, cooking dinner and play time with BS. Let the fun begin.

Cheers all

Magda

STEADYING THE WOBBLY BIKE

After riding so confidently for a couple of weeks, powering along so steadily, the weekend saw me fall off my bike. Not wanting to dwell on it or allow it to keep me down, I hopped straight back on yesterday ready to power away again. I did ok yesterday but today I feel like I’m wobbling along. Its taking all my determination to stay on my bike and keep it steady.

Training this morning included a nice dose of sprint work where the sprint intervals were short and didn’t have to be done after I was already worn out. I really enjoyed it and gave it my all for 15 cycles before doing my Upper Body Prep workout. After yesterday’s leisurely start to the day and training at what was almost mid-morning, today’s 5am start wasn’t welcome. What was welcome though was the lovely euphoric feeling of a great training session coming to an end. Follow it up with protein porridge with goji berries for breakfast and it’s a great start to the day.

So as I battle the munchies today I keep reminding myself that tonight I have my favourite tuna and veges with multigrain pasta meal for dinner. Its worth looking forward to as it doesn’t in any way feel like or taste like diet food. Its almost an indulgence really.

So now that I’ve blogged about my battle today, I’m even more determined to win it. Keep busy. Eat when hungry. Drink lots of water. Go to bed feeling happy with what I’ve achieved.

Cheers all

Magda

THE HOLIDAY YOU HAVE WHEN YOU'RE NOT HAVING A HOLIDAY

Phew where did that weekend go??!!

My lack of blogging is proof of a super busy weekend where I was hardly home. It was also a weekend of various emotions with the funeral of my BIL's stepdad and on a happier note being able to catch up with friends I dont see often.

Unfortunately there was also a bit of a holiday from clean healthy eating which certainly wasnt planned but my goodness I slipped into that mode way too easily. There's a bit of extra tummy podge this morning but a few days back on track should see the back of that.

My WH and BS came home last night and it was just the BEST feeling getting my big squishy hug from my boy. That was followed immediately by "I need to go to the toilet" which made us all laugh. I loved having the time on my own and the social whirl that went with it but there is NOTHING better than having your loved ones close by. I thank God I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful family, both immediate and extended. My ILs did a superb job of entertaining my BS and he's come home tanned, a better swimmer and eating foods he previously outrightly refused. You gotta love that :-)

I have the day off today so I indulged in a lay in and then got stuck into my training a lot later than usual. BS was dying to get over to the other Grandmother hence I could train after dropping him off. Tomorrow its back to work for 2 days (meetings that Imust attend) and then I'm on holidays til after the long weekend. WOOHOO!!!

I'll try to get some piccies up in my blog soon. Its been ages since I've posted any. And yes Raechelle I'll provide proof of the white pants (but I cant prove that I didnt indulge in GJs LOL) :-)

Have a great week everybody and I'll blog again soon.

Cheers

Magda

I'VE JUST REWARDED MYSELF

Yes I've done really well this week so I felt a reward was well deserved.

I've just come back from Rundle Mall where I treated myself to a large GJs Very Vanilla Chiller and a slice of German Apple Cheesecake. Then for dessert I had a double scoop of Baileys Scorched Almond ice cream in a waffle cone :-)









HAHAHAHA Did you fall for it????

I actually went shopping and bought myself a stunning pair of.....insert drum roll......white pants from Events. Dont you love it when you try on your regular size and they are clearly TOO BIG. Oh the joy of needing the next size down and finding that they fit. (Its almost up there with a lotto win!!).

Funnily I ended up buying a pair in my regular size just cause they were a nicer pant and looked better on. But I can be quietly smug about the smaller size fitting. (I know thats really shallow but I make no apologies).

Oh and BTW it didnt even cross my mind to venture near GJs or any ice-cream sellers. Now thats progress in my book!!

Cheers all

Magda

THINGS I'VE LEARNT THIS WEEK

1. There will always be good and bad days.
Bad days aren’t fixed with poor food choices and destructive behaviours so you might as well do your best to look after yourself with good food.

2. One negative experience shouldn’t ruin your day. But if it (somehow) has then go back to Point #1.

3. If you run out of salad leaves (spinach / lettuce etc), flat leaf (Continental) parsley chopped roughly makes a great substitute. I’ve been eating it by the handfuls this week and its yummy.

4. There is a way to include fruit toast into an off-season eating plan and stay within calorie and macro-nutrient guidelines. This was a great discovery for fruit-toast-loving me.

5. When arguing with yourself about whether to train or not to train just shut up and do it. Put that energy into the training and not the arguing.

6. Be prepared to challenge your own thinking and beliefs if you want to make significant, long lasting changes. As the famous old saying goes “Do what you always did and get what you always got”. Say good-bye to that comfort zone. Be prepared for a bit of pain. It’ll be worth it in the end.

And on that rather deep and profound note I’ll sign off on this topic.

Cheers all

Magda

TO TRAIN OR NOT TO TRAIN

I’m enjoying the luxury of my time being all my own – apart from when I’m at work. So this morning I DIDN’T set my alarm for 5am and just planned to train when I woke up. Alas it was 5.15 so not much of a sleep in for me unfortunately.

After my extra hour of cardio last night I was a bit tired this morning and so this is the conversation I was having with myself during my cardio session:

“You did a lot of extra cardio last night. You don’t really need to run this morning. It’d be quite ok to skip the run and just do your lower body workout”.
“Come on. Don’t be lazy. One minute you’re complaining about the weight not coming off and then you’re thinking up excuses for not training. Just get on with it.”

“I’m tired and this is hard work. Perhaps I’ll cut my run intervals down shorter, maybe take an extra break. No-one will know.”
“You’ve turned into wuss. You’ve trained much harder than this before so you know you’ve got it in you. Now suck it up Princess and keep going.”

So I did. I finished on a good note with sweat pouring off me and then hit my exercise room for my lower body workout. I tell you there is no better feeling than finishing a training session that you didn’t want to start. (I don’t expect many arguments on this one!!).

This afternoon I’m meeting one of my good friends for coffee which will undoubtedly turn into dinner and maybe even a movie. We have no definite plans other than knowing that we’ll talk for hours as we haven’t seen each other since I competed in October last year.

Before I sign off I can say there was a drop on the scales this morning which was nice but by no means the reason for my good mood. Who knows, tomorrow it may be up again as we all know how those numbers can go up and down for no logical reason. The very fact that I’ve chosen to write about this last of all indicates where it is on my scale of importance. :-)

Cheers all
Magda

A RARE VISIT TO THE GYM

Most of you know that I do just about all of my training at home. For cardio I often run/jog or do sprints. I have an exercise bike and a rower for bad weather days or days when family stuff means I cant hit the road. I have enough equipment to enable me to train everything (except back) at home and thats what I did last year and will continue to do this year.



For me, visits to the gym (other than my one mandatory visit / week) are a real treat. Well I was due for a treat today. BS is on the Sunny Coast with the ILs and WH has just flown up to spend a few days there before he brings BS home. I'm a bacheloress and I love it. My first priority was to sort out when I'd go to the gym and what I would do there.



So today's plan was to do an RPM class at a branch of my gym that is close to the airport and the time of it was just right. Last night I organised my gym gear and made sure I had something that was respectable enough to be worn in public (I dont bother too much about how I look when I train at home). I organised my bits and pieces (hair elastic, socks - often forgotten, towel etc). In the morning a few extra bits get added (spare T shirt) and I'm set.



Well at least I thought so. Its basically downhill from there. I leave work in a hurry and forget to take my drink bottle - ok I buy water and I'm set (I think).



Not so. I have forgotten my HRM - I can do without it. Its not essentail for the workout so I'm set.



Not so. I've forgotten my IPod and I'm early so having my music while I play around before the class would be nice. Ok I can do without it so I'm still set.



Not so. I'VE FORGOTTEN MY BLOODY SHOES!!!! :-( :-( :-(

OK build a bridge and get over it!! Its decision time as to what I'm going to do. Here are my options. My gym has 2 branches that are in my neck of the woods so to speak. I have the choice of BodyPump or BodyPump at the time I want to go. Plus to make it on time (I'm on the other side of the city) I'm going to have to really move it.

Now being a BodyPump Instructor I know that the high volume of reps for each muscle group is enough to bring on a debilitating case of DOMS that would make grown men cry. I'm also on a specific program with Liz so I suspect its not a good training option.

Do I do a bit of a weights workout of my own accord? For the same reasons as above I decide against this.

What's left?

Aaah my beloved cardio :-) Normally I find gym cardio really boring so I set myself the challenge of using every type of cardio machine for 10 minutes. I duck home and equip myself properly and hit the machines with a vengance. Tready running at 8.5kms on a small incline (woohoo my HR is up); stepper (lets tone that butt); X Trainer (feet are getting numb by now); rower (I'm feeling like an Olympic athlete); upright bike (reading Oxygen mag) and recumbent bike (the lazy man's exercise). Thats just over an hour all up and I'm done. Bye bye 445 calories.

And thats my definition of a perfect afternoon alone LOL!!

Cheers all

Magda