BACK IN THE SADDLE AND FEELING ALIVE

Today I did my first weights session since I last trained before the comps. I’ve had a nice break but it was time to bite the bullet and kick off my new program. So at 5am this morning I did a leg session which was a combination of some “go hard” exercises and some “lets ease into this as its quite new and different.” The session was short and sweet and will certainly be intense within a couple of weeks as the weights move back into the heavier zone.

I followed this up with a 30 min row on our super-duper new rower and by the end of it all I had worked up a fine sweat. Then follow this up with my favourite breakfast and it makes for the perfect start to the day.

I love these times when I’m in a happy and positive place. My eating has been good and I really feel like I’m using all the tools available to me to make it work. My work time meals are all made the day before and are on hand for when I get hungry. Last night I was a bit undecided about what to have for dinner as I’m still getting used to having the freedom to choose from a wider variety of foods. So I made a favourite healthy dish which I love. Here it is if you’re interested:

Take a handful of either wholemeal or multi-grain pasta such as penne or spirals and boil. Slice a mushroom or two and some red or brown onion and “fry” in a pan sprayed with oil. (You can add other veges depending on what you like and have on hand). Then open a can of Sole Mare tuna with beans and drain off the oil. !/2 the can should be enough unless you’re really hungry and then chuck it all into the drained pasta with the veges. Or you can cook up double the pasta and veges, add the whole can of tuna and then divide it into 2 or 3 (small) portions. Its nice too with a good sprinkle of freshly cracked black pepper and a handful of freshly chopped continental (flat leaf) parsley. I’m having a light sprinkle of parmy cheese on it because I’m not in “diet mode” and its superb.

So that’s it for me today.
Cruising along nicely.
Making the right choices.
Moving forward one step at a time.
Life is good.

Cheers

Magda

A NEW PLAN TO MOVE FORWARD

Yesterday I felt a bit lost and unsure about my new training program so I’ve been giving it some thought and am making some changes. One thing I know about myself is that I’m very easily influenced by others. This can be a good thing in that I’m open to others’ comments and opinions but it can also mean that sometimes I question myself and don’t stick by what I believe in.

So I’ve put all the pieces together and come up with a revised plan that I’m happier with. I’ll be trialling it til Xmas and if its working well and moving me towards my goals then GREAT. Otherwise its bye, bye and time for a new strategy.

I’m finding this post-comp time really interesting. Its full of ups and downs, more challenges (albeit different ones), uncertainty and requires a change in direction and thinking. On the other hand (looking at the glass half full) its great to have no pressure to train at high volumes and follow a strict and limited diet. Its also the perfect opportunity to consolidate the hard work of the last few months and reap the benefits of having a leaner and more toned body for summer. And lets not overlook the opportunity to keep learning about ourselves and new ways of training and eating.

So on that note I’m embracing this time by enjoying a wide variety of (mainly) clean and healthy foods and taking a fresh approach to my training. I’m also treating my mind as a muscle (technically I don’t think it is) and exercising it daily to keep it working for me and not against me. I’m determined to get things right.

Before I sign off I want to share a little story with you. A couple of days after the Sydney comp someone quite close to me said “oh my goodness, look at you, you’re all skin and bones”. I almost replied with “you need to put your glasses on as you obviously cant see my broad and muscley shoulders and the still very obvious muscles on my arms”, but I just smiled politely. Thinking about this comment my opinion is this. If you are 10-20 kilos overweight then yes I’m going to look like “skin and bones” to you. But I ask this: “Are you happy with how you look?” I suspect not. “Am I happy with how I look?” ABSOLUTELY!!! Subject closed.

Magda

HOW "THE - OTHER - HALF" LIVE

Today I had lunch with the beautiful Miss Kerry who I competed against in the WNBF show. Whilst we have a lot in common (both trained with Josh Dickinson last year, married, kids, jobs, so much to do so little time etc) in some ways we are like chalk and cheese.

Kerry is the picture of happiness. She has gained a little weight (not enough by her accounts) and is enjoying her “rest time”. She does a little cardio each week (much less than what I’m doing) and has resumed training with weights but quite differently to what we did leading up to the comps. She’s eating what she wants but in moderate quantities and if she feels like a bit of crap food, she has it.

I, on the other hand am now well within the weight range I set myself post-comp. It took me an instant to get there and now I’m terrified of gaining more weight. I’m pelting out 2 long cardio sessions and 2 shorter ones each week but I love my runs and am enjoying this part of my training. I’ve just drafted my new weights program and in hindsight its probably a bit gruelling with 4 days of really solid sessions similar to how I trained pre-comp.

Hmmm am I a bit lost? I didn’t think I was but now I’m wondering if my new training and approach to diet (which hasn’t changed much from the pre-comp training) is the right thing at this point in time.

THE GREATEST MOTIVATOR

Last night my letterbox had the DVD of the Asia Pacific Championships waiting for me and I had the best trip down memory lane as I watched my divisions. It was my first good look at the line-ups and a chance to compare myself to the other competitors. In one category I agree with my placing and in the other I don’t – not that it matters now but that’s my honest opinion. I was really happy with my upper body and quads but my abs and glutes were sadly lacking.

The one thing that really stood out though was how I constantly smiled or glowed whilst on stage. Its like I was made to be there and this was “my sport”. How can I possibly NOT compete again????

So on that note I’ll happily report that I had a good eating day yesterday and will chalk up another one today. I’m back in a good positive place and I like it. Now if I could just permanently join “the-other-half” I’d be totally happy.

Thank you for comments left after my last post. I have commented on each person's blog individually but forgot to tell Rae that her "Finish Strong" message sent to me in the lead up to the Adelaide comps took a permanent place on the cover of my Training Diary and got me to and through the last few tough weeks. Thanks Rae :-)

Cheers all

Magda

WORKING THINGS OUT

After I made my post last night I caught up on other blogs and found this very wise bit of advice from Rae to Lia. It was in response to Lia’s negative vent over her elimination diet and whilst my current situation is a bit different there was a clear message that was very appropriate to me as well.

Here’s what I took from Rae’s comment:

Make the choice for what it is you want to do. (In my case it comes down to whether I see myself as an ongoing Figure Competitor or whether I’ll cave to pressures around me and not pursue it).

Once you’ve made the choice, success comes from focus and commitment. (Yep its that simple. I have all the tools I need to succeed. They are all in the garage, now I just have to get out there and use them – thanks for that great saying Donna).

Remember: Anything worth having or achieving has a price.

We have to decide if we are willing to pay that price.

I lay awake for a long time last night pondering over my history, actions and thoughts. I’ll share some of these with you as I know that some of you will relate to what I’m saying.

My history is not good but I cant change it. I can only use it to learn from and move forwards in a more positive way. On the up-side I started doing that this year when I achieved my goal of competing. Now I need to build on that and keep moving forward, one day at a time, one meal at a time if need be.

My actions have been very destructive last week. Right now I’m having major problems with some “occasional / red-light / trigger” foods. Its sort of like emotional eating but I’m not even sure what emotions are associated with them. I just know that with these foods its very much a case of “one bite is too much and a thousand are not enough”. (That’s a Lizism and I love it). I may not always be this way but I’m very vulnerable right now so I’ve decided to avoid these foods all together until I feel stronger and more in control.

My thoughts have been in quite a negative place too and this is undermining me no end. You know when you convince yourself that you cant do something and in doing so you guarantee failure. Couple that with a good healthy dose of “Its ok, I’ll diet tomorrow” and other self defeating excuses and I’ve been firmly entrenched on the path leading back to the “Fat Magda”.

So I guess its time to face up to these issues and make a plan to move forward.

Step One: I have decided that I want to be within 5kgs of my comp weight during the “off-season”. That’s a limit of 60kgs. This will put me in a good position to prepare for a comp next year IF I DECIDE TO COMPETE AGAIN.

Step Two: Work out my broad 12 week training and nutrition plan. Commence another Training Journal and keep it up to date.

Step Three: Get the mind stuff sorted out. Acknowledge whats working and whats not, reflect, soul search and don’t give up til I get it right.

If you’re still reading this then I say a big thank you. It’s a bit of a “heart on my sleeve” post again but I find it helps me to sort out where I’m at and where I want to be going.

Cheers all

Magda

THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES

Thank you to for the comments of support and encouragement left after my last post.


Lia,


I have followed your journey since I first came to blogland and you have always been such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing more of yourself and making me feel less alone. Your elimination diet sounds like its a real grind and I can well understand your frustration with it. But I know you are a strong and determined person and will conquer it and other challenges which present themselves.


Shar,


thanks for your offer of help and I will take you up on it as I have indicated in an email back to you (but not sure if its gone thru). I know you really struggled with the same problem but you have gotten on top of it so I'm hoping I can learn from you.


Charlotte,


Everything you wrote in your comment could have been written by me - although I tend to keep up the exercise just not as often or as intensely. Its good to know I'm not alone yet I still have to find my way of dealing with this. I will take your advice and try to put it into practice as you always write in a way that strikes a chord to which I can truly relate.

Pip,

We are strange creatures arent we? Knowing what to do but for some reason not doing it.

I often ponder why it is I'm not doing what I know I should be doing to achieve my short term and longer term goals. I have a weight that I want to maintain so if I decide to compete again then I havent got tons of weight to lose. I also want to maintain my chosen weight so that I look and feel good in the meantime. You know I sweated blood to achieve my goal of competing this year and now I just feel like all that hard work could mean nothing if I continue doing what I'm doing.

Maybe deep down I havent adjusted to myself as a lean person?
Maybe I'm so used to dieting that I dont know life in another form?
Maybe I just feel this overwhelming sense of wanting to "indulge/enjoy/lash out" after 10 months of being in "comp prep mode"?
Maybe its all of the above to some extent?

Oh God, where do I start to try and sort this all out for myself and get back on track sooner rather than later.

Magda

WHAT AM I HUNGRY FOR?

You know I honestly dont know.

But here are some of the things that challenge me:

Many years ago when I was a teenager struggling with my weight, my doctor (who knew me really well) said I was an "all or nothing person". I've found that to be quite true. Most of my life has been spent either dieting or feasting. There's not much in between for me. I want it but that "middle ground" just keeps slipping out of my reach.
Commitment: is it where it should be or is it fluffing around in lala land?

Deep down I havent convinced myself that I can get on top of this. I know what to do. I believe it'll work for me yet I constantly sabotage my efforts and do the opposite of what I plan. I use affirmations at various times and sometimes that works for me but not always.
Consistency: If it works then do it and keep doing it.

Man I've eaten some SERIOUS crap this week :-( I'm not feeling very good both physically and mentally. The size 9 jeans are tight and ..... well I could go on and on but I'll spare you the whinge. IT IS NOW ABSOLUTELY TIME TO REIGN IT IN, STOP THE "WOE IS ME ATTITUDE" AND FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES OF HEALTHY EATING AND REGULAR TRAINING.
Choices:
Crap food + little exercise = fat + unhappy Magda
Good healthy food + effective exercise = lean + happy Magda
So which will it be?

I've been a bit slack in getting my new training program up and running but will endeavour to do so soon, along with my November goals (which start with cutting the crap food NOW).

G'night all

Magda

DEALING WITH "FREEDOM TO EAT"

I'm now starting to see what everyone is talking about when they experience the "post-comp-blues". Except I dont actually feel blue but I'm finding it harder and harder to get focussed on healthier eating and be consistent with it.

I'm letting too many treats pass these lips and I'm having some struggles with portion control. There are times when I could just eat and eat and eat.

So I'm trying some strategies to get myself on the path I want to travel and then stay on it. But if anybody has some words of wisdom from their experience that could help me I'M ALL EARS.

Magda

THE CHALLENGES THAT LIFE THROWS US

My BS dressed up in his Pirates of the Carribean outfit after a day at the Royal Show.

Today my BS was diagnosed with a condition that will affect him for the rest of his life. He is not seriously ill, in fact he's not "ill" at all but this condition will throw some considerable challenges our way. The diagnosis did not surprise me as there have been things which have caused me to wonder "could he have/be etc?" and now I know.

So how do I feel? Well when speaking with his specialist today I felt ok but now as I research it on the net and learn more about what it is and what it can mean long term I'm starting to feel a little frightened about what the future might bring.

You may notice that I'm using lots of "maybe" terms as there are no guarantees that he will suffer the negative aspects of this condition but as a parent I guess its normal to have concerns. Now, more than ever I believe its important to look at this as the glass half full. There are SO many things that I can give thanks for and I will make it a daily goal to do just that.

I guess one thing its made me realise is just how trivial and insignificant some of my own issues are and its time I was a little less self-absorbed. Right now I need to be more patient, more supportive and more guiding to help him reach his full potential so that he lives a rich, balanced and happy life.

Magda

BAD HABITS CREEPING BACK IN

Hi all,

yes I must confess that I've had a couple of days where my number 1 goal for October (you know the one with that horrible "B" word in it) has not been achieved. Hmm how did this happen? Well I had an awesome week last week. I felt great and was right on top of my eating and exercising as I had planned. On Friday I weighed myself and was just OVER THE MOON with where my weight was at. I thought it would have been higher so seeing the numbers a little over my comp weight had me on cloud nine.

So Saturday starts of great. I go for a 53 minute jog and eat sensibly but enjoy some things I wouldnt normally have during the week. Then on Saturday night we eat out and I have a big meal but I plan to do a run Sunday morning and get back on track. Except the weather is crap and I laze around in bed, have toast (as planned) for breakfast but then lunch is a bit indulgent too and its all downhill from there.

Well enough of that and whats done is done. Now I just have to move forward from here. I believe I have it in me to get past this and continue to work at getting this part of my life under control. I just think that it'll be a work in progress, something that I have to be aware of daily, especially when triggers present themselves. Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh opportunity to be the person I want to be, living my life as I want to live it.

I'm currently working on my training program which will start in November. I'm going to be training myself for a while at least so it'll be interesting to see how I fare when I'm not accountable to anyone but moi. First step is to list my training priorities/goals and then program accordingly. Its quite exciting planning out something which is so important if I'm going to compete again and do so in much better condition than I was this year.

I have lots of research to do so on that note I'm going to sign off and get back to it. Looking forward to a great day tomorrow where I kick those bad old habits right up their ar*e and send them on their way :-)

Cheers all

Magda

LATE NIGHT CATCH UP

This pic is from the Adelaide show. Its the start of my routine. Aaaah what fond memories.

Well things have been busy since I last posted. The luxury of being able to hop on the net during my lunch break and catch up on blogs and update mine is a thing of the past :-(

I will keep following everyone's blog but I may not leave comments as often as I'd like to. I'm hoping to keep blogging as regularly as possible though.

October is nearly over and I have some goals/plans brewing for November. I will share them with you over the next few days. I'll also report in on how I went with my October goals (some good and some could have been better!!).

Tonight I've had some fun updating the look of my blog but have not changed my template as most of the standard templates are so boring anyway. At least my blurbs are up to date and relevant now. And I'm really enjoying reading about how other competitors are doing now that the comps are over. Thats another challenge in itself.

Well I should try to get some sleep as its very late now but my body thinks its still that hour earlier. G'night all.

Magda

LIFE AFTER COMPETING

Figure Masters both short and tall are still together. We were split into 2 later.

Figure Masters Tall. The lady 2nd from left came first. I think the lady on the far right came 2nd. The lady in the red on the left was 3rd and of course I took out last place LOL!!

Figure Novice Tall rear double biceps. I'm 2nd from the left. The girl on the far left (gold bikini came first and 3rd from the right came 2nd).

Figure Novice Tall 2 middle girls were 2nd and 1st respectively. I was pretty happy with my 4th placing.

Before the comps rolled around I had given some thought to what I’d do when they were over. I was well aware that some competitors had some major struggles with food/body image etc after the comps were over and I could well see myself having problems in this area too.

So I devised a plan in my head and set myself some little goals around what I wanted to achieve just in the short term. I’d like to share these with you now.

The most important goal that I had for the month of October was to NOT BINGE. Now leading up to the 2 comps this was easy as I wouldn’t dream of sabotaging all my hard work with something so stupid, so close to the big day. But afterwards was another matter. I could very easily have lapsed back into the habit of letting that mindless, secretive, out of control eating creep back in. I’m trying to stay strong on this one.

Whilst on holidays I knew I would eat foods that I wouldn’t normally eat (treats/indulgences) and I’d eat them in quantities greater than normal. I’m ok with that. This behaviour does not constitute a binge so its all good (for a short period).

My post comp meal would be totally indulgent and decadent with NO consideration for whats good for me. Its all about what I ultimately want and will enjoy WITH NO GUILT WHATSOEVER.

Then as life went back to “normal” I’d establish an eating style that was fairly clean and moderate in calories during the week , enabling me relax a little on weekends and enjoy the “sometimes” foods (or treats) in moderation.

October would see me continuing moderate intensity cardio at 3-5 times /week (depending on how I felt and how it fitted in).

No weight training for the rest of this month.

So that was my plan and I’m pleased to report that I’m holding strong on number 1, number 2 went as planned as did number 3 (evidenced by my last post). Number 4 is a work in progress. Its early days and its working well so far. Numbers 5 and 6 are my “rest period” activities. Although I must confess that I did an upper body circuit workout in the gym in Noosa just coz it was such a great gym.

I’ve put some weight back on (yes I did indulge in Noosa) but I needed to as ribs poking out are not very sexy. I’ll check my weight towards the end of the week but it feels ok. I have a goal weight in mind and if I’m on/near it (which I think I am) then I’ll be real happy. And I’ll stay happy if I can stay on/near it too. That’ll be an even bigger challenge.

So there are my thoughts for managing this aspect of life after comps. I feel good knowing that I have this plan in place.

Cheers all

Magda

POST COMP TIDBITS

The end result of the fettucine boscaiola. I was proud of that achievement too LOL!!


Garlic bread, fettucine boscaiola with bacon, mushrooms and cream, a ton of parmy cheese, 2 glasses of red, a cappuccino and a Mars Bar cheesecake = post comp feed. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven :-)

Cut to the “post-comp drinks” with my WH. Its time to relax with a few drinks and just reconnect. We talk heaps – honestly about what this has meant for each of us as individuals and as a couple. I acknowledge that there is some work to be done to restore balance, to reconnect, to focus on “us” now. That’s not to say I wont keep training (I definitely will) and watching what I eat but not to the extent that I have of late. We will then see what the future brings. Will I compete again? Well let me just say that I have well and truly fallen in love with this sport BUT I need to give consideration to those things I’ve mentioned earlier. If all that is brought back to a happy and positive place then LOOK OUT FOR ME IN 2008. I’ll be a woman on another mission LOL!!

My post comp dinner was just superb. We went back to the awful café with no atmosphere and just ignored that they had no bottled red wine, that we were rushed through our meal, that it was completely empty and they were keen to get us out and close up. I NEEDED pasta and I had it and life was good.

Just briefly I’ll say that we had a superb time in Brissie and Noosa where our accommodation was luxurious to say the least. I ate too much, drank too much, lazed by the pool, shopped, used the hotel gym and went for the best morning walks/runs. Pure bliss until by Friday night I was well and truly over all the food and drink and reined it back in for a healthier more sustainable lifestyle.

In my next post I’ll include some pics from the APCs. I don’t have many good ones but I’ll share the best of what I have.

Cheers all
Magda

MY CHAMPIONSHIPS EXPERIENCE

I wrote most of this on the Monday morning after show and have edited it into a shorter, more readable version to share with you. I’ll do my best to remember details.

On Friday night I have another bout of sleeplessness so I’m up tidying things up and finishing things off from that day. WH wakes up early and therefore so do I and the day is underway. I have never travelled with a plethora of zip lock bags with food for 2 days. Its quite funny actually. The flight is uneventful and its followed up by a train ride to Liverpool where we are staying at a Best Western motel due to this weekend being low budget. Here’s where things go haywire. At Glenfield Station, waiting for our train to take us to Warwick Farm (Liverpool) we find our train is delayed due to some (unclear) problems. The delay turns out to be quite lengthy so we eventually call for a taxi so I can get to Mt Pritchard for 2pm (its already close to that time). The taxi takes ages. WH rings several times and we sit and wait outside the train station. At least its sunny and I’m warm as I’ve been quite cold up til then. Across the road are a chicken/fish & chip shop and a bakery. They look inviting and I have thoughts of hoeing into a decent feed. I’m starting to feel fed up and a bit down but I’m trying to not let it overtake me.

OK cut to the competitors meeting where we are lined up to divide the Novice category into height groups. I line up with the Novice girls and I’m checking out their bods as best I can seeing we are all dressed. Yep. Pretty good from what I can see. For a moment I feel insecure standing in that line – the “fat Magda” from before has crept back and I don’t feel “good enough” to be there. Then I quickly remind myself that now I AM good enough. I have made it to the Championships – WOOHOO. There is no line-up for the Masters so I cant see the competition there.

WH and I see a movie to kill time and have a very sombre meal at a café with no atmosphere. We cut the evening short and head back to our motel for a night sleeping in the lumpiest hardest most uncomfortable mattress I have ever encountered. I’m cold during the night and use a pillow for extra warmth. Things are feeling pretty grim and ordinary.

Cut to Sunday 14th October: SHOW DAY

After a bout of sleeplessness last night I manage to sleep til about 7am which is good. Breakfast is chicken and rice (yummo, carbs are back today) and I get ready. Its DT (Dream Tan) time. This is what figure comp is all about and I LOVE IT. Standing at the front of our motel waiting for a taxi WH says “If we ever do this again, we’ll do it different next time” OMG I JUST ABOUT FAINT. I try not to get my hopes up too high but I’m as excited as.

OK at the venue WH is suitably impressed with the Mounties Club as its really excellent. There are bars, pokies, gym, cafes, gift shops and nice outdoor areas. The day wont be so bad for him. Things are looking up . (Yes my WH has NO interest in this sport whatsoever!!)

The show is late to start and seems to be running slowly at times. I spend quite a bit of time watching it, eating, cheering on Tabitha from Adelaide in the Women’s Lightweight Bodybuilding (she takes 2nd place and earns her pro-card). The backstage area is really crowded and cramped and getting ready is quite a challenge as WH has to finish my 2nd coat of DT. Its all good though and I’m doing what I need to do with my pumping up/posing routine. I talk to lots of other competitors and the atmosphere is friendly and girls readily help each other. There are some AWESOME physiques but I’m not fazed. Here is my assessment of how I came up on the day:
Calves: good (they’ve always been there – just buried under too much fat)
Quads: really good – lean, muscles showing through
Hammies: I think they’re ok but I’m told they need work – I have a bit of podge on my outer thighs
Glutes: none, nil, zilch. I think they’re a smidge better than last week but its still basically “pancake butt with skin”.
Abs: still no development but leaner and tighter than last week.
Chest: WOW I’m seeing some muscle here. I’m happy.
Shoulders/Bis: AWESOME – my strengths
Tris: are there but not great.
I’ve lost an extra kilo since last week. I think I’ve come up just a little better. Happy! Happy!!

OK its just about stage time. We are milling about backstage and I meet Deb and Fern (also from PE) which I’ve been looking forward to all day. Deb looks awesome and I know she’ll do well. I have a lovely chat with Fern and its time to go on. WOOHOO here we go. Smile, lift up and give it my best shot. The stage time is a bit of a blur. I think I pose ok. Fern is cheering and coaching from the front of the audience. What a godsend. She gives me the extra confidence I so need. We get moved around a bit so I know the judging is serious and probably close. All over, off stage and its routines. I stuff mine up (should have practiced more in the last week) but don’t let it faze me and keep going. Then it’s the Masters line-up and there are several of us and we are divided into short/tall and Grand Masters. This round is gruelling to say the least. We are front of stage, back of stage, off stage accidentally, back on feeling lost/bewildered. I’m exhausted but push on giving it my best.

Its award time and in Figure Novice tall I’m announced as the 6th (last) place getter. I keep smiling but I feel disappointed. Then WTF they announce that they have made an error and the girl next to me is announced in 6th place. I feel sad for her but I’m secretly delighted. I win 4th place in an awesome line up. In the Masters Tall category I place 4th out of 4. I haven’t been able to check out the other ladies but have noticed some things that cause me to raise my eyebrows. But no bad feelings. I’m given some very truthful feedback that is both positive and encouraging whilst telling me what my problem area is (yes its glutes – or lack of!!)

I watch Deb compete and cheer her on but then its time to get cleaned up and changed and hit the bar with my WH. PHEW its over. I have stood on the WNBF Asia Pacific Championship stage and I have placed 4th in 2 categories. What an absolutely AWESOME experience, achievement and journey. I set my goals at the start of this journey and I exceeded them beyond my wildest dreams/expectations. I feel like a winner on so many counts.

I have some quite funny things to share about “after-show” but will save them for my next post. I hope I haven’t bored you to tears with this epic saga. If you’re still reading then I say thanks for listening and taking interest in my experience.

Cheers all

Magda

A MINI UPDATE

Hi all,

today we are back in Brissie with the ILs after a superb stay in Noosa. I have managed to nab a bit of computer time before dinner but it will be brief.

So how did I go at the Asia Pacific Championships? 4th place Figure Novice Tall (6 in the line-up) and 4th place Figure Masters Tall (4 in the line-up). How do I feel about that? Pretty damn good. I must admit that I would have given my right arm for a 3rd placing but the standard was awesomely high (especially in the Novice category where some of the girls were also competing in the Open category) and after seeing some very poor quality pics of the show I concede that I did have one body part that really let me down. But hey I still chalked up an amazing achievement to even get there in my first year so I'm still feeling like an absolute winner.

I will keep this very brief but look out for when I get home and give you the full blow by (boring) blow account of the event. Now I just need some pics to show off as well as sadly I dont have many that are of good quality.

Cheers all and stay posted for my write up some time after Sunday.

Cheers

Magda

LAST POST BEFORE HEADING OFF TO SYDNEY

I'm sitting at my computer eating lean protein + veges for breakfast. I dont even flinch at it any more. Its 2 days to the championships and as a figure competitor we do what we have to do. This morning's training was gruelling to say the least. With very little fuel in the tank I did ok with my weights circuit but the sprints were just murder. Never mind they're done and dusted now.

I have a busy day today with lots of things to take care of before we fly out tomorrow morning. I have a list so I feel in control. How else do I feel? Really good. I have a strategy for Sunday and I feel good about it. A lot of things are going through my mind and I will share these...but not now.

At the championships I'm competing in both Figure Novice and Figure Masters. The novice category will be divided into heights which is great. I'm quite tall anyway (171cms) so add the 6 inch heels and I'm a bit Amazonian and I like that.

Once again I say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has supported me along the way
by reading my blog and being interested in my journey,
by leaving comments of support and encouragement when I felt like I was failing,
by giving me some really good advice when I didnt understand things and needed to be "set right"and
by extending your friendships, albeit through cyberspace (and some on a personal level).

I will try to give a quick update next week but I'll be heading straight off on holidays so if it doesnt happen that week I'll definitely do it when I'm back the week after.

Cheers all and wish me luck on the big day: Sunday 14th October.

Magda :-)

PART 2

Charlotte: Noosa is one of our favourite (Australian) holiday spots and I'm hanging out for walks along the beach with my husband too. I wont be missing my exercise bike....no siree :-)

Stacy: You know what, I will take you up on that!! Sounds divine. And it'd be great to meet you. The book I'm reading is The Secret (not sure who the author is) and there are some very true and powerful messages in it.

Just got off the phone from Danny Chau giving me feedback on my performance at the WNB show last Saturday. Feel great as one of my "problem areas" I can fix quite easily (I think) and the other ... well ... it'll come down to clever posing. After losing very close to 20kgs to compete there are going to be some body parts that just arent going to look 100%. I'm ok with that though :-)

Cheers

Magda

ALSO HANGIN' OUT FOR.......

The freedom to eat what I want. Going out to eat and being able to choose what I fancy and enjoy a wine or 2. Just having “normal food”.

I’m really looking forward to eating bread (in various forms) and enjoying a cappuccino with my WH on our way to work. Pasta is another favourite which I plan to enjoy….sometimes. Oh and deserts/sweets….again sometimes.

Light cardio where I don’t feel pressured to burn as much fat as I can manage.

A short rest from weight training. Then some circuit style training til I hit it hard again next year. It’ll be nice to NOT be pushing to the limits with every workout.

A balanced life. Comp pressure is off and I can relax and enjoy activities that I just don’t have time for now like: lazy days spent at the Bay with my family, sitting around on a Friday night and sharing a bottle of wine and a leisurely dinner with my WH, doing fun things with my BS and just being more carefree and laid back.

Not HAVING to get up at 5am. Funnily enough I’ll probably keep doing it but not every workday and it’ll be by choice and not a case of “I have no choice”.

And last but by no means least I’m really hangin out for our holiday in Brissie/Noosa straight after the Sydney comp. A well earned and deserved break when I can enjoy good food, wine and RELAX.

So these are the things I’m looking forward to right now. Pretty normal I suppose.

I felt very flat and tired yesterday. The lack of sleep was magnifying the usual level of tiredness that comes with this hard final week of comp prep. My saving grace was that I received a sample of my professional pics by email when I got home and I was lifted up again when I saw how good they were. I don’t know where it came from but I managed a short sprint session last night, quite amazing myself. So building on this I set out for another one this morning but cut it short due to some persistent rain. I did it on my exercise bike instead which is a poor (but adequate) substitute.

So I’m hanging on and hanging in there with 3 days to go.

Cheers all

Magda

HANGIN OUT FOR SYDNEY

Reality is creeping back into life (as it always does) and the diet and training regime is starting to feel gruelling again. Last night I found myself feeling ever so slightly “over it all” and contemplating some destructive behaviours.

But I’ve been (secretly) working on some new strategies to turn things around for myself when I start to feel this way and I’m pleased to say that all is good. Woohoo that’s a win I’ll have a private little gloat over.

My sleeping is really suffering which is pretty normal when I’m hyped / have a lot going on / need to do a lot of (personal) organising etc. I was awake around 2am and got up a bit after 3am as I knew that I wouldn’t get back to sleep quickly, if at all. I decided to put the time to good use and I updated my Training Journal with a big write up of my short and medium term goals for “post-comp”. They need some work to be written up in the correct format but just getting them down on paper was a great feeling.

At 4.30am I had my pre-workout shake and 15 minutes later I was doing my (light) shoulders/bis/calves weights session. I followed this up with 45 minutes on my exercise bike, just riding at a steady state but pushing a bit harder than some of my other recent sessions. I was also reading a great book, one I’m using to help me out of the situations I mentioned above.

So come 6am and I’ve done: my weights for the day, a decent cardio session and finished off my book. I’m feeling like a million bucks and ready to take on the day with a positive outlook and a determination to succeed.

4 days to WNBF Asia Pacific Championships.
2 days left to work.
Its so close now…the smell of Dream Tan is wafting once again.

Cheers all

Magda

COMP DAY - WOW WHAT A DAY

My SIL sent this pic through. Its better than some of mine (but still not great). Thats the lovely Kerry (another Physique Essentials client) next to me.

Ok so here's my blow by blow of the day. Hope this doesnt bore you :-)

The night before the comp I slept like an absolute log which was amazing considering how many nights of really bad sleep I'd had leading up to it. I was woken by my alarm at 6am and after a quick trip to the loo I hopped on the scales :-)) Happy with the numbers. Day is off to a good start.

Breakfast was chicken and brown rice. After a week of eating lean protein + veges for breakfast this is a treat indeed. I enjoy every mouthful. The tastebuds are singing "carbs glorious carbs". Then its shower time and finally I have my first encounter with the famed Dream Tan. I reach into the jar feeling excited that I'll no longer be a Dream Tan virgin. I have truly "arrived" as a Figure Competitor LOL.

WH tans my back and my BS comments "mummy its good we can see your face so we know who you are". I'm darker than they could ever imagine. I finish packing my bag and my boys wish me good luck and we have a group hug and they tell me how proud they are of me. My heart is bursting with love, happiness and excitement. I'm not at all nervous. I'm itching to get into the day.

WH drops me at the Convention Centre and its pretty low key as competitors trickle in. Kerry is there (YAY) and we hang out together for most of the day. I meet the beautiful Miss Jaime-Lee (for the 2nd time) and our friendship moves to the next level as she watches me pee into a cup for the WNBF drug test. Then we lounge around, chat with the officials and just kick back. Its all pretty cruisy and I'm eating that chicken and rice regularly (happy happy).

There is a competitors meeting around 12 (well its a bit late actually as some of the girls are already getting ready and we wait for them to be free) and Danny Chau President of WNBF Asia Pacific Region (one of the nicest and most genuine guys you could meet) speaks to us about the WNBF and their philosophy on drug testing and their commitment to making their federation truly "drug free".

After this meeting its time to mosey over and start getting ready. As girls we know this task will not be over quickly so why we give ourselves plenty of time. Make-up, stuffing around with hair, extra coat of Dream Tan, getting the bikini on (which is an art form in itself). My SIL is my helper and she is totally amazed by what happens backstage at a show. Its fun and the atmosphere is good. There is no bitchiness or cattiness but we are a small group of female competitors this year.

As part of my stage prep I get to enjoy a packet of Smiths Crisps (DIRTY FOOD!!!! Yummo!!) and other not so delightful things. I spend ages pumping, posing and carbing up although I dont really know what I'm doing but it feels right so I keep at it.

There is a moment where I'm on my own, in my bikini, half pumped and carbed up and I reflect once again on what I've achieved. This ALWAYS brings a tear to my eye as I'm overwhelmed by a rush of emotions. Powerful stuff!!

Cut to the "curtain call". We are lined up ready to take the stage and I feel great. No nerves. Let me out there. I place a huge smile on my face, lift myself taller and even prouder (if thats possible) and I'm heading out there to shine. And I do. I love every minute I'm there. I pose my heart out never taking my eyes off a judge or letting the smile leave my face. I'm in my element. All those months of blood, sweat and tears are now being rewarded and I'm relishing the moment.

My routine is OK (I make a small booboo but press on regardless) and I'm really pleased that my WH has heard the special thank you I wrote to him. It has great meaning to us. After all the routines are over we all file back on for the awards. As I was the only competitor in Figure Novice...VOILA...First Place. I'm not disappointed that I didnt beat a big field of other competitors (if nobody else was prepared to put in the work and give it a go, or if they put in the work but dropped out) then I deserve that win. In Figure Masters its between Kerry and myself and when she is announced in 2nd place I'm deliriously happy, shocked, and extatic as I'm awarded first place.

Words cannot describe how happy I am not just for winning but for making it through. Knowing that I refused to give up no matter how many times I fell over and fell off the diet wagon. Knowing that I had the strength to see it through.

Wrapping up I'll just say that the post comp celebration with my friends was fantastic. With Josh's blessing I had a free meal and chose a salt and pepper squid with chips, salad with dressing, a bit of garlic bread and I made sure I had desert and a cappucino. Everything tasted superb and I knew that come Sunday I'd be back into the diet and training for Sydney.

I'm still on a high. If you're looking for cloud nine...its under my feet and I aint stepping off it just yet.

Good night all

Magda

BRAG TIME

These are the only 2 stage shots that I have at this stage (most pics too blurry). Hopefully friends had more success in getting some good pics and if not then I know the prefessional ones look fantastic and I just have to wait for them.

Some more prep pics that were taken by my SIL (aka backstage b*tch). She was pretty well blown away by what happens in the backstage of a bodybuilding show.

So I promised more pics and this is the best I can do for now. I have SOOOOOO much to write but right now my priority is to get in today's training session in preparation for the WNBF Asia Pacific Titles in Sydney next weekend.

Thanks for all your congratulations and I'll be back soon with my (yawn!!) account of the day.

Magda :-)

WOOHOO I FEEL LIKE A PIG IN SH*T

Sorry about the angle. What a pump though.

Kerry and I getting ready. Lovin' those smiths crisps :-)

Well I am just over the moon. The WNBF show was a small one with not a lot of competitors. I was the only competitor in Figure Novice so VOILA...First place :-)

There were 2 of us in Masters and I came first so I'm just over the moon. A big congrats to Kerry too. She looked fantastic and I'm so glad we did our first shows together.

Blogger wont let me put up more pics. Its taking ages and is spitting the dummy. Also many of the stage pics my WH took didnt turn out. But I'll be back tomorrow with more when I have more time.

Cheers all

Magda

ONE SLEEP TO GO

Thank you to everyone who has left the most wonderful and touching messages today and all along the way. There is but one sleep to go :-)

I had a busy day today and its gone very quickly. As I was driving to one of my appointments I reflected on how far I'd come and some of the more significant events from the last 10 months. I must confess that I became a little teary....through sheer joy and amazement that this massive goal has all but been achieved.

Then I pulled myself together before I caused an accident and landed myself in hospital. LOL

I'm keeping this very brief tonight. There isnt a lot more that I want to say but I will hop on tomorrow night (no matter how late) and let you know how I go. I owe that to everyone who has been so wonderfully supportive and helpful along the way.

To the other competitors (Charlotte, Kerry (who doesnt blog), Kie (I think) and anyone else I've missed out because I'm tired and HUNGRY) I also wish you all the best.

Good night all

Magda

LESSONS I'VE LEARNT PART 4

LESSONS ABOUT MYSELF

Lesson 1: The key to success is held in your mind.

Its one thing to have the training programs, the nutrition plans, the supplement advice etc but the TRUE key to success is your mind and your belief in yourself. There were so many times that I fell off my nutrition plan and ate really badly but each and every time I picked myself up and got back on track and moved forward again. On many nights I went to sleep meditating and affirming to myself that I could do this. That I would succeed. I had decades of bad eating habits haunting me and they're very hard to shake but I proved that if you stick with something long enough and with a quiet determination to achieve then you will.

Lesson 2: I love the "structure" of this sport.

Being an "ex-aerobics-instructor" I've enjoyed exercise since my mid 20s but I've really enjoyed taking it to the next level where each and every weights session really mattered and cardio had a specific purpose and therefore had to be tailored accordingly.

As hard as the nutrition plan was at times, there were just as many times when I knew that the way I was eating was contributing by more than 50% to my success. Just recently I was talking to one of my work colleagues about this last phase of the prep and I said "Comp standard bodies dont happen from a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch and a nice lasagne for dinner". He well understood where I was coming from.

Lesson 3: Getting the right information and support is very important.

This is my thank you to Josh Dickinson from Physique Essentials.

When I was becoming interested in competing I started quietly looking around at options for trainers. For me, an on-line trainer was ideal as I knew I'd find it impossible to commit regular blocks of time to face-to-face sessions.

I was really impressed with the results Josh had achieved with previous clients like Deb, Alicia and Lia (and these were just a few). When we spoke on the phone he was friendly, genuine and understanding of my situation (work full-time, family commitments, need to train at home etc) and I could tell that he'd tailor everything to suit me instead of making me suit "his approach".

And he delivered!!! We massaged my plans over and over so they worked for me but were still going to get the required results. There were many times when he was really tough (and I sooked about it LOL) but he needed to be and for that I'm grateful. Having said that he always gave praise when it was due and that often lifted me up and kept me going.

He taught me so much about this sport, how people perceive it, what it means to commit to it etc and I continue to admire his passion for it. He has a wealth of experience and knowledge and he's really happy to share it. What more could you ask for??

Josh, you took a 40 years + working wife and mother with an incredibly busy and full life but with weight/eating issues galore and turned her into a figure competitor.

THANK YOU. YOU ARE A TRUE CHAMPION.

Magda

Will post more later guys.

LESSONS I'VE LEARNT PART 3

MISCELLANEOUS LESSONS

Lesson 1: Not everybody who says they're supporting you, does so.

People are funny. I'm sure that everyone feels "obliged" to indicate their support so they come across as nice people but the reality is that this is such a wierd and full-on (yet wonderful) sport that very few people understand it. So they dont cope with it very well. There were many times that I sensed that those close to me felt very uncomfortable with what I was doing. Yes I wasnt partying along with heaps of alcohol or snacky type foods, even though I was still enjoying myself with a Diet Coke and the food I had prepared. I'm sure this didnt sit well with some. Then there were the little jabs and comments about what I was and wasnt eating...never said with malice but more a sense of just having a dig.

Having said all that though, many of my friends were very supportive and encouraging and that was really nice. I guess it boils down to how you feel about yourself. If your own self esteem is not very high then seeing someone else achieve great things can be hard to handle so natural response is to "attack". But if you're happy in yourself then its easier to celebrate others' successes too.

Lesson 2: You cant have too many lists when you're so busy.

I'm a list girl. Always have been. Always will be. How else can one remember the squillion (do you like that word? Its the world's biggest number) things that need to be done. I make lists all the time or I swear that very little would get done through sheer forgetfulness...and we all know how rife that is as we go through a comp prep. I've had so many blonde moments lately that I'm bordering on albino LOL. Carbs were meant to be eaten so that our brains function correctly.

Lesson 3: Dont underestimate the magnitude of the final week of prep.

You are almost there and the smell of dream tan is starting to waft. Diet gets stricter. Training a little lighter, but still tough. New requirements have to be implemented so the routine changes slightly. You feel pressure to push out as much decent cardio as you can but energy levels are low. Posing and routine practice cannot be put off any longer. You must make the time for these.
There is running around and organising still to do. 24 hours in a day just arent enough.

Stop fretting. Take stock of the big picture. Where have you come from and how did you get here? What does comp day mean to you and what will you make of it?

To be continued...

Good night all

Magda

2 sleeps to go :-)

LESSONS I'VE LEARNT PART 2

PART 2: TRAINING

Lesson 1: Early morning runs ROCK.

From day 1 of training for this comp my main form of cardio has been running and I prefer to do it first thing in the morning. What an exhilarating feeling it is to get home by 6am with the run finished, the feel-good hormones racing and a readiness to embrace the day.

I also proved that good habits established early are easily maintained. When I was running through summer and then autumn I used to worry about how I’d cope through winter when it was cold and maybe wet. Well I coped just fine. Yes I added some extra layers and gloves and I just kept going. In fact I rarely (if ever) missed a cardio session because “I didn’t feel like it”. Of that I’m very proud.

I also learnt that if you want to seriously burn fat and slim your legs down then sprinting was the best thing for me. Very hard to do at first but well worth persisting with.

Lesson 2: Weighted lunges NEVER get easier.

I have a real love/hate relationship with lunges. I love what they do for my legs but I hate picking up those 15 kg+ dumbbells every week to make the lunges effective. At one stage Josh had me trying to lunge with 17.5 kgs+ which was just a nightmare. I told him I wouldn’t have good symmetry with my knuckles dragging on the floor LOL. So its been 15kgs and every week they felt just as hard as the week before.

In this last week leading up to the comp my weights have been lightened up to compensate for the stricter diet. I lunged with 10kgs and it was still really hard.

Lesson 3: There is enormous strength within you. You just need to know how to tap into it.

I did all my weight training alone and most of it at home without a spotter. I quickly learnt to listen to my body and know just how far I could safely push to my limit without risking injury to myself. There were times when despite my head being 100% convinced that I’d lift a weight, I couldn’t do it. There were other times when I was so tired and flat that I had no confidence in my ability to lift. Then whammo, from somewhere this surge of energy would come and I’d make the required reps at the required weight.

Like cardio, knowing you’ve completed a really demanding weights session is just the most uplifting feeling.

TRIVIA: My favourite exercises are barbell upright rows and plie squats. My most hated are rear delt raises and barbell bicep curls.

ODDS AND ENDS

This last week is really tough. I’m hungry a lot and there are virtually no carbs now. I’m freezing cold and its very cold and blustery here again. I’m really tired from lack of sleep and just trying to train with so little fuel in the tank……but after today there are only 2 more days to get through. I will do it. I will make it. I have no doubts about that. Cant wait to slap on the dream tan, slip into my bikini and relish my time on stage.

Cheers all

Magda

LESSONS I'VE LEARNT

I’ve decided to devote this week’s blog posts to the topic above. I’m sure everyone is sick of reading about diet, training, prep blah blah blah (I know I am LOL!!) so here goes with some revelations about myself and what this incredible journey has meant to me. I hope I don’t lose you as a reader.

PART ONE: FOOD

Lesson 1: I like brussel sprouts LOL :-)

My WH detests them so we never had them but in a moment of “I just need something different” I bought some and “stir fried” them in a bit of chicken stock. Well “yummo” I say. After munching my way through a cupful, I felt like I’d actually eaten something substantial and they tasted ok. In my book they’ve been a winner.

Lesson 2: It will be quite some time before I eat plain tuna again.

I see many people at work having tuna for lunch and I always ask them why they’re eating it if they don’t have to LOL. Its not that I don’t like tuna (its ok) but I’m getting well and truly sick of it and have it only for its convenience factor and for some variety.

Having said that I recently bought 2 tins of Sole Mare tuna with beans. Now this is to die for as it has some kidney (I think) beans in it and is packed in oil. Mix it (oops after draining most of the oil off) with some rice and cooked veges and you have a tasty tuna meal….after the comps are over.

Lesson 3: Alcohol isn’t the be all and end all.

In my previous life I was the true party girl. Sin now, pray later. If it tastes good eat it and worry about the weight tomorrow. In a social setting I’d ALWAYS have a drink in my hand, as evidenced by 99% of photos that I’m in.

Since deciding to compete I’ve had very few alcoholic indulgences. Yes I splurged on holidays and at my birthday dinner but at other times I’ve easily and happily had very little or none at all. And I’ve been ok with that. Whats interesting though is how AWKWARD and UNEASY this makes others feel. Funny society, aren’t we??!!

Lesson 4: I still have a lot of work to do to improve my relationship with food after the comps are over.

I’ve had food issues for most of my life. I don’t know how/when/why I became a binge eater but I know I’ve struggled with it for most of my life. My triggers are many and varied, some physical and some emotional, making it all the more challenging to take control of.

As my diet became stricter throughout my comp prep I found it harder and harder to control my binges which suggests that too much restriction = disaster for me. I’ve dealt with it the best that I could, falling over often but not staying down. I remind myself daily that for me this is a “winning situation” rather than “oh I’ve stuffed it all up so I’ll quit”. Previously I would have thrown in the towel and just eaten til I reached the 70 kg + mark (over time) and then had to start all over again.

So what will (food) life bring for me after the comps? I’ve been giving this some thought and am starting to formulate plans / mini goals / strategies for how I want to live (and eat) when I have the freedom to choose. More on this later but right now I just know that I don’t want to throw away all the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am with my weight and body fat. I fully accept that I have to put some weight back on but for me the biggest challenge will be controlling how much.

School’s out for today. Cheers all.

Magda

THE SHORTEST POST EVER

Its all good and back on track.
I have picked myself up and am getting on with it....YET AGAIN!! :-)
Have had a busy long-weekend.
Will post lots more tomorrow.
I have posing and routine practice beckoning before bedtime tonight.

Cheers folks

Magda

THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT

Yet again I'm blown away by so many wonderful supportive comments from fellow competitors and bloggers. Right now I need every bit of that encouragement to pick myself up and move forward again.

Over the last couple of days I've had some really difficult issues to deal with and I havent handled them as well as I should have. I cant write more about that now as my head isnt in the right place and I'm struggling for words that make sense. (I have deleted and rewritten these few lines over and over)

My number one priority now is to get myself back on track (diet and training have both suffered) both in my actions and thoughts/beliefs. I feel that once again its "crunch time" and I have 6 days til the comp to once again do the best I can.

Magda

ANOTHER DAY DOWN - ANOTHER DAY CLOSER

Yes the days are going quickly with work being very busy and me being out and about more than usual. I'm fairly well organised with food to take if I'm out during my meal times and I just give myself enough time to eat when I need to. Either that, or I'll pass out from hunger LOL!!!

Today I was walking to BS's school to watch him in his sports day and on the way I was entertaining thoughts of frothy cappucinos with hot buttered toasted fruit bread. Oh and it has to be the really good quality fruit bread that is really dense and chewy with figs or other such exotic fruit in it. You only need a couple of small slices and its total bliss.

But thats as far as that went. I raced back to work and ate my atlantic salmon + veges and had a big mug of herbal tea. Today was the last heavy weights session too and it felt so good to finish it. I'm looking forward to having a different program for next week even though I now there'll still be ample cardio.

So once again just a quick short post as bedtime is calling. Looking forward to saying a lot more but not at this late hour. Til next time folks.

G'night

Magda

I'M DOING OK

Hi all,

just a quick post as I dont have much time tonight. BS needs to be put to bed, then there's some more cardio to try and knock off a bit more body fat. Oh and lets not forget the posing and routine practice before getting an early night so I can be up at 5am to do my FINAL heavy weights session before the comp. WOOHOO!!

This week has been all out of whack with travel for work, lots of time spent out of the office and a routine that was just "out the window". Nutrition has suffered a little - some of it within my control and some totally out of my control. No major dramas though so I'm happy with where things are at. Josh and I talked about my "2 weeks out" pics and he's happy with them (or so he says!!) so I will try to be less harsh on myself and give myslef more credit for what I've achieved.

Training has been good although Monday night was a no-go due to a LONG day at work, getting home late and suffering a headache and a generally BLAH feeling. I've learnt that at those times its best to give myself a break. Rest, sleep and recover so that I can hit it hard again the next day rather than trying to drag myself around like the living dead. Tuesday I was back in 100% full form so I know I made the right decision.

So as af tomorrow its 9 DAYS TIL COMP. Thats single digits everyone... yes SINGLE DIGITS. I'm just blown away that its so close now.

I have so much more that I want to say but now is not the time so I'll store it away til the time is right.

Thanks to all those comments of support and encouragement that keep coming through. They really lift me up if I'm feeling down and nudge me alaong if I'm flailing. They mean a lot to me so again. THANK YOU :-)

Cheers all

Magda

UP AND DOWN AND UP AND DOWN AGAIN

Wow life is certainly a rollercoaster now. From feeling quite good to being way down in the dumps. Biggest challenge is to manage the feelings/thoughts etc when things are down.

I had my body fat done on Friday afternoon. There was a small drop but I had expected it to be greater as I really felt like it had dropped more. Oh well the funny things that happen and how our mind/eyes perceive them.

Friday night was a bit of a drag at home. Managing tension on top of managing all the personal challenges just adds another (unnecessary) dimension to comp prep. I'm lucky that I have heaps of energy to channell into these extra activities LOL!!

I woke up early on Saturday so put the time to good use and got my leg training + cardio done. I think I was finished before 8am which left me on a real high. Go figure!! The day before I was struggling big time and then yesterday I'm back in happy land. Until I went to my girlfriend's place and we ended up having a chat about not so positive things which put me back into blah land. Then I cooked a Mexican dinner for SIL and her partner and displayed will power of steel in not touching the corn chips or dips that they all hoed in to. (And I LUUUUURVE corn chips!!).
It was a good night despite being hungry very soon after dinner but I'm sort of getting used to that.

This morning I downloaded my progress pics to the computer, checked them out (girlfriend took them yesterday arvo) and emailed them to Josh. Well I must say I hated them. I wont rave on as to why but I was disappointed in them and not at all happy with how I was looking and posing etc. Josh and I are due to talk about them tomorrow. It'll be interesting to hear what he has to say.

So today has been a difficult day mentally and I've had many thoughts of "I cant wait for this to be over" but right now I'm feeling ok. So the up and down ride continues. I will stick it out, no matter how tough it gets and I'll make it to the stage in less than 2 weeks time.

I have a busy week with lots of travel and site visits so my blogging may not be as regular and there'll be the extra challenge of eating 100% on track when mobile. But I'm pretty well prepared so it should be ok.

Well I'm signing off as I have a mountain of washed clothes to sort and fold and then dinner to cook and lunches to make. Hoping to throw in another training session tonight as well.

Cheers all. Less than 2 weeks now and powering on....well sort of :-)

Magda

WHOA - WHAT"S HAPPENING !!??

I’ve noticed some big changes since last night.

My brain is constantly fuzzy now. I feel like I’m in slo mo with things processing slowly, if at all. A colleague came to speak to me about a problem on one of my projects. I swear I could not understand what he was on about. It just wasn’t registering. So I had to ask him to go through what he needed me to do to fix the problem. Yeeouch how embarrassing is that? I’m not paid to be an airhead which is how I’m feeling right now.

I’ve become really clumsy too. Last night I was packing clean dishes back into the cupboards and my plastic food containers kept falling out of their cupboard…over and over again. It was driving me mad. I mean how hard is it to put a container back in the cupboard without knocking out all the other containers. I’m also bumping into things and am feeling like a bit of an oaf.

I’m always cold now…I guess I must be getting “lean enough” LOL!! Up to now I’ve had times when I’ve been cold but not this much. Last night I did my posing and routine practice in long leggings, gym top and jacket. I just couldn’t bring myself to strip off without cranking up the heating and it was a bit late to do that.

I did my back/legs session in the gym last night and was cursing Josh BIG TIME!! He programmed a weight increase in one of my back exercises (the one I’m the weakest in under the best of conditions) and I made 6 measly reps (instead of 10-12). So I dropped the weight back to what it was last week and struggled for 10 very ordinary reps (as opposed to 12 last week). I know this is due to lower cals/fat but honestly WHAT WAS HE THINKING??!! At least I only had 1 cardio session yesterday as I know I wouldn’t have done any justice to a second session the way I was feeling last night.

So I’m really feeling like the ante has been upped. I guess this is where the real competition takes place. The game gets harder, the body isn’t in a happy place and the mind can go either way….you can cave and admit defeat or you can dig deeper and find the strength to push on even if its one slow step at a time.

15 days and pushing on

Magda

MORE OF THE SAME

Eating lean and clean.

Training as hard as I can.

Posing and routine practice.

Its almost like being on auto pilot but I'm ok with that. The finish line is in sight and I cant afford to fall over again when I'm so close to it. AND I WONT!!

Yesterday I posted a little "mid-week-brag" to Josh in my Training Diary on his PE site telling him of my fantastic drop in weight since last Friday. He replied with a happy face but reminded me that I shouldnt use that as a reason/excuse to ease off. The bugger....he knows me real well now :-) But this time is different. Its 100% on track to that stage.

So last night I ventured out in the cold, blustery evening and repeated my street sprints and then onto more leg work, abs and then posing and routine practice. This morning it was back out for another session of sprints. Sometimes I wonder just what it would take to get legs that I'm really happy with and proud of. Whilst they've improved HEAPS, they still have fat, wobbly bits. Oh well I guess we all have our insecurities and are never 100% happy with the total package.

16 days to go and despite that previous little peeve, I'm in a happy and positive place :-)

Cheers all

Magda

I'VE JUST READ MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY

"At the end of next week the planet of energy and ego, Mars, departs the most sensitive angle of your chart and moves into Cancer, beginning an intense, active and upbeat cycle. For this reason, you'd best tackle certain tricky issues now, so they're put to rest before this thrilling new chapter of your life begins."

How exciting is that!!!!????

Magda

LOOKING AFTER MYSELF

OK so things are going really well right now but last night I started to feel “weird” – you know mild headache, out of sorts etc. I had knocked off my shoulders/bis/calves session as soon as I got home from work. It was not a great session. I started it feeling very flat like I’m feeling the effects of less food and especially less fat. Josh had set some new targets for reps but I didn’t even make the reps from last week. At least I know this is 100% because of my current diet. Its simple: less fuel in = less fuel available to heave heavy weights around. Oh and my tummy rumbled throughout the whole session LOL.

So after tending to all the domestic chores and getting myself organised for today, I took myself off to bed early AND didn’t set my alarm for 5am to do my morning cardio. It’s the best thing I could have done. I actually had a night of reasonable sleep and woke up feeling good. Now I know that the “weird” feeling was just exhaustion although I don’t acknowledge it in case I collapse from it LOL.

This morning I dropped my car in for a service and walked about 5kms to work. The lovely lady who checked my car in asked how I was getting to work and I replied that I’d be walking in. Now get this!! She has a fearful look on her face and says “are you sure you’ll be alright?” What the??!! Do I look so frail that I wouldn’t survive a 5km walk?? I just chuckled away to myself as I enjoyed the walk along Unley Road on this beautiful Adelaide morning. Having said that though I’m now in that “too thin for the average person zone” so I know that I’m approaching “comp standard”.

So its sprints for me tonight, followed by ab work and then posing and routine practice, pretty much like Monday night. The wheels keep turning and its nice to be rolling along and enjoying the ride.

Cheers all

Magda

DOING THE TIME - AND REAPING THE REWARDS

I’m tired.
I’m cold and
I’m hungry. But
I’ve just had a nice drop on the scales, my abs are leaner and tighter and the muscles are once again showing in my legs.

WOOHOO Its all worth it!!!

Yesterday I did the double sprints I had planned. Yes out I went at 7.45pm and sprinted laps of my street. Did I care if people saw me and thought I was mad?? NOT AT ALL!! I’m a woman on a mission and that means doing stuff the average (overweight) Joe would never consider. Then it was back home for ab work, posing practice and a run through of my routine. What a great night it was as I strutted around in my undies admiring my leaner midriff (yes I know you’re all laughing but I bet you do it too!!)

I’m tired because I’m not sleeping well at the moment. Too much going through my mind as comp day gets closer. I wake up to pee (all that bloody water and pre-bedtime shake) and then my mind starts going and before I know it I’m awake for hours. This is happening about every 2nd or 3rd night so I’m really starting to feel it.

I’ve made a list of everything I need to do before the comp so I feel more organised and on top of things. This way I can concentrate on my training, being organised with food and keeping my mind in a positive place.

So life goes on and the days are disappearing. 18 to go. I cant wait for it to be here

Cheers all

Magda

YOU COMMIT THE CRIME - YOU DO THE TIME

Yep, I’m doing “the time” now to pay for all my splurges/indulgences – call them what you want!! I worked out my revised eating plan within the calorie limit set by Josh and the macro targets I thought I was to work towards. Sent it to him for his approval and got told “cut the fat back!” :-( There wasn’t much in there already but I have and I’m noticing the difference. I’m colder than usual and some of my meals are just downright tiny.

But I’m doing ok despite these challenges. The second part to this is that I’ve been told to “run as hard and as fast as you can” so double cardio is a requirement whenever possible. I did my sprints this morning and am planning another session just in my street after BS has gone to bed. I hope the neighbours are all ensconced in their TV viewing while I’m out there doing laps of my street LOL.

On Saturday I had a bikini fitting and I was just so excited to see my costume and try it on even though its not ready yet. The fabric is stunning but I have one small concern but I’m hoping that some more weight off and skin tanned dark will fix it. Here’s hoping!! Whilst I had my bikini on I got the dressmaker to take my progress pics and sent them off to Josh. For the first time in about 9-10 months I got the impression he wasn’t happy with them hence the cranking up of diet and training. Mind you, I agree with him as my recent pics weren’t the most flattering in terms of showing up progress.

So with that in mind, I’m fired up to blitz in the last 3 weeks with a 110% effort.
19 days and counting.

Cheers all

Magda

AND THE AWARD FOR .....

....... best performance in falling down and getting back up again goes to……ME!!!

Yes its all back on track for me again. Thanks Kristy for a great sprint session this morning. I could have stayed chatting forever. Its nice to share our struggles and challenges with people who understand them.

I have 23 days til Adelaide comp. I have decided to give it my best go (as I said yesterday) and am feeling quite good about what I plan to do. I’m cranking my training up a bit more and have a diet plan that will hopefully deliver some outstanding results. The finish line is so close now that I can smell the Dream Tan LOL!! (Actually I don’t even know what it smells like. I must organise it soon though).

I have a few (extra) challenges over the next 3 days. Tomorrow is WH’s birthday. I will have some diet challenges but I’ve planned my strategy and if I can stick to it I’ll be fine.

And I’m determined to keep blogging so my statement yesterday was more like an incentive for me to stay positive. Plus it goes without saying that comp prep is NOT easy and even more so for us newbies so of-course we’ll have our struggles. But the real winners don’t let those struggles beat them and I want to be …. NO!! I AM A REAL WINNER!!

Til tomorrow folks

Magda

MY DECISIONS

As you can all tell I’ve stumbled yet again and fallen over (off the diet bandwagon). Yet again I have to find my way up and move onwards and forwards. It gets harder each time.

But I will do it…somehow! I will finish this journey even if at the end I’m not 10% body fat and weighing 52-53kgs when I step on stage. I will NOT throw the towel in now no matter how attractive that seems at times. I know for sure that if I choose this easy way out, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

I have spent the afternoon coming up with a bit of a personal eating plan to get me through the remaining 3 ½ weeks. It wont be easy but I will just have to take it one small step at a time and hope I get the results I want.

I have also decided that at the end of each week I will plan all of my training sessions for the following week and post my schedule on my pantry door. I need to see what’s planned and have the satisfaction of ticking it all off as I complete it. No more of just seeing what I feel like (in terms of cardio).

I’ve set myself a personal rule and that is that I will not blog any more negative issues like “oh woe is me, this is so hard” or “oops I’ve stuffed up again”. This is just happening too often and its time to deal with these challenges before they become disasters OR sort them out personally. My blogs will reflect my achievements (no matter how small) or I’ll be quiet.

My last goal is to spend time EACH AND EVERY day looking within and getting my head in the right place. In fact this should be my first goal as its undoubtedly the most important one.

So til I blog tomorrow with a much-improved state of mind its farewell for now.
But before I go I will say a very big thank-you to Combatgirl, Charlotte, Claudine and Nic for your comments which go a long way to explain how I’m feeling, what I’m going through and why this is all happening. Your support and encouragement mean a lot to me so THANK YOU.

Magda

HOROSCOPE UPDATE

I found yesterday’s horoscope quite insightful and relevant even though I couldn’t come back and write more on it til today.

Some of the impact of it has deadened now but I’ll just say “bring on that extraordinary” coz I need all the help and inspiration I can possibly draw on right now.

Can somebody answer me these:

1. When everything is going really really well, why do we put ourselves in situations that will clearly sabotage all of our good work?
2. When we find ourselves in these situations, why do we consciously do as much damage as we possibly can?
3. Why is balance and harmony such an elusive thing?
4. Where has my “happy place” gone and why cant I find it again?

A squillion things are running through my mind right now. I’m trying to work my way back to that happy positive place but it feels like I’m crawling through mud.

25 days to go… and I feel fat, flabby and fed up.

Magda

TODAY'S HOROSCOPE

CANCER (June 21 - July 22) The on-going disruption triggered by powerful aspects to the unruly Uranus could seem worrying. While changes are both unsettling and often abrupt, they're actually breaking ground for the exciting developments coming later in the month. The more you're willing to let go of now, the more prepared you'll be for this month's extraordinary developments.

Will post more on this later. Work calls right now.

Magda

ITS SHOW TIME

Here is our BS enjoying a tractor ride after "qualifying" for his tractor license.

All that hard work made for a very tired boy. Nap time here before we get stuck into it all again.

"What mum? Another photo? Sure! How's this smile?" LOL

We had a lovely family day out today at the Royal Adelaide Show. The weather was glorious. The crowds were huge. The atmosphere was buzzing. BS had a great time and so did we.

Life is good and I thank God I'm blessed with such a wonderful family :-)

Magda

FRIDAY ON MY MIND

So I havent done as well today as earlier in the week but I'm not getting all stupid about it like I have before. Tomorrow will be another day...a better day.

On the up side though I had my body fat tested today and yes it has dropped nicely so I'm happy about that. I also learnt the rest of my routine and had some more posing coaching with M. I think my posing is ok so now I need to work on getting it to "good" and then "really good".

I set out to buy a new bikini today after Josh commented that the white one doesnt fit any more and is in fact very unflattering (like tell me something I dont already know...its damn uncomfortable too as it feels like its gonna fall off at any minute). So I'm shopping in my local Westfield (not a great place for choice) and seeing its only September in Adelaide thats still like winter with the odd mild/warm day...hence very little range in the shops yet. So I try Target hoping I can grab something cheap to tide me over til I get to Queensland after the comps (where I can shop to my heart's content for a superb bikini). Verdict: 2-3 styles of bikini (all atrocious) and some nana one pieces. NEXT SHOP!! B & T. Now they have previously served me well so I'm approcahing with a big sense of hope.....only to be let down again. Limited styles, limited sizes ... they are obviously not ready for the swimsuit season with these meagre offerings. NEXT SHOP!! Myer. Ah good old Myer. How can they disappoint. Well on the first account of having enough styles to choose from they did ok. I chose about 5-6 styles and trotted off to the change rooms with BS in tow and the Gameboy fired up while I tried them on.

Oh Lordy!!! I have no boobs and need help in this department. Some styles were ok for this, others were abysmal. Then there were the bottoms. The smallest size being a 10 and for the first time in my life I struggled with them looking/feeling too big. The last pair I tried on were ok until I checked the price tag and just about passed out. VERDICT: I will not pay that much money for something that looks "OK". ACTION: Leave without buying a new bikini. Will have to try in the city maybe.

So I have no new bikini but at least I'm not an obscene amount of money poorer either.

Have a great weekend all

Magda

THIS TIME NEXT MONTH....

…will be comp day. My goodness its getting close now. 30 days and counting.

Magda

WELL HOSE ME DOWN.....

....coz I'm on fire!!!

Despite feeling quite tired last night (I didnt sleep well the night before) I still managed to do a decent sprint session on my exercise bike followed up with my new "extra leg workout (ELW)" which I'll be aiming to complete AT LEAST 5 x / week and some more routine practice. It was another solid hour and 15 minutes and I was really happy with it. I was quite hungry when I finished it but had to be satisfied with a shake and then off to bed.

This morning I was up early (as usual) and hit the road for some more sprint work. I also incorporated my ELW and its a great feeling knowing its done for the day. Can you tell yet that I'm feeling PARTICULARLY good....no GREAT.... right now. Its a bit scary actaully as in the past I've soared quite high only to fall very hard. But those times are history and I have this new opportunity to make a change and do things differently this time.

After all this serious training my appetite has really kicked up a notch. I'm enjoying my food and juggling meal times so that I dont get too ravenous. I'm not tempted to eat off plan as I know that on Saturday night I'll have a guilt free meal of my choice and I know I'll have earnt every mouthful. This is doing things "my way".

To all readers of my blog, I'm sending you a dose of my happy, positive vibes. ENJOY LIFE!!

Cheers

Magda

DOING IT "MY WAY"

Over the last week I’ve thought a lot about how my prep is going. What’s been good, what hasn’t? How I’ve dealt with the good and the bad. What’s worked for me and what hasn’t? I’ve also spoken to other competitors both experienced and first-timers like me and I’ve come to realise that there’s more than one way to skin this “comp prep” cat.

So after all this thinking and analysing, I’ve made some decisions about how I’m going to approach the next week and a half. I’m going to do things “my way” and I find this really empowering. Now let me explain that “my way” isn’t anything radical or drastic, it’s a slight variation on what I’m already doing but the big difference is how I perceive things.

First and foremost I acknowledge that staying positive is my main priority. 90% of my success will come from the right mindset so the changes I make have to support this goal (and I’m sure they will!). So I’m going to chat to Josh about this and then give it a go. Life should be happier all round :-)

Last night I belted out an hour and a quarter of training AFTER BS had gone to bed. I tell you I WAS ON FIRE!!!! Then I squeezed in 3 rounds of routine practice after which I had to stop so I could go to bed and be up early for this morning’s session. I think Josh must have had a “mad-moment” when he did my chest program for this week. He programmed a 25% increase in one of the weights and I just laughed (After I recovered from almost killing myself trying to achieve one rep!!). Strength increases are a pipe-dream on my daily intake but its good to test yourself out, I guess.

So I’m still in my happy, positive place and enjoying this journey with only 32 days to WNBF in Adelaide.

Cheers all

Magda

HELLO SUB 57

Remember my mini goal for last week….well I achieved it. WOOOHOOO!!! On Sunday I weighed in at 56.8kgs and was very VERY happy. Shame there wasn’t anyone to share my joy with but who cares I’m doing this for me and I was pleased with this little win.

So what else to report from the weekend?

As planned Saturday was back into the harder core training. Sprints on the exercise bike in the morning. Leg training (at home) in the afternoon, followed by a jog. We went to SIL’s for dinner and she went to the trouble of preparing a separate meal for me. She bought me a beautiful fillet of atlantic salmon, laid slices of ginger, garlic, chilli and coriander on it and steamed it. The serve was a bit bigger than I’d normally have but it was so delicious that I ate it all and enjoyed every mouthful (with some asian veges as well).

On Sunday I surprised WH with breakfast out and the diet was relaxed a little. Then we had my mum and dad over for dinner that evening and it was a lovely day all round. Yes I spent a lot of time cooking and baking but they’re things I enjoy anyway and I love seeing people eating and enjoying my food. I had a small splurge in the evening too but you know what I’M TOTALLY OK WITH IT!!!

Previously this would have sent me into fits of guilt, shame, depression, feelings of failure etc and I’d be beating myself up over it or wrestling with self doubt and a heap of other negative stuff. But not this time. Have I turned a corner? Maybe. Have I woken up to the fact that I CAN have a small indulgence and keep it under control? Maybe. Have I tapped into a more positive mindset…a “can do” attitude? Maybe. More on this next time……

So this morning I harnessed those extra carbs and calories into an awesome back/heavy legs session and got the day off to a spectacular start. Eating is back to 100% on track and I’m in a happy and positive place. Life is good and I’m doing what I can to keep it this way.

Cheers all

Magda

PS If you stopped past my blog, checked out my progress pic and left a comment, I say a big THANK YOU :-)