YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE

As a child I lacked self confidence about my ability on many levels. I was shy and reserved and I shied away from physical challenges. I believed that I wasnt good at sport and so .... I wasnt good at sport. It was the beginning of my struggles with my weight throughout my life.

As a teenager I continued to be bad at sport because I believed I always would be. I did manage to learn to water ski - but only after my father got in the boat and threatened me with thunderous yelling "to hold onto that rope no matter what" that I held on and yep, I was skiing. My only other form of activity was folk dancing but when you follow that up with a trip out for pizza (as hungry teenagers do) its unlikely to help you to keep your weight down. I believed that I would struggle with my weight and so ..... I struggled with my weight. In my year 7 photo I'm the big girl in the back row wearing a size 14 skirt and blouse, amply filling a C-D cup bra.

Throughout my 20s and 30s I had several periods where I believed that I could lose weight and so .... I lost weight. Oh the joy of being smaller and being able to buy trendy, sexy clothes. The joy of being the same size (or smaller) than my friends and of being attractive to the boys. But each joy was short-lived because I didnt believe that I could maintain my new found slim body. So true to my beliefs every weight loss was followed by a compensating weight gain because I believed thats what would happen. Life was really turning into a roller coaster ride and I wanted to get off.

Hail my 40s and the extra strength and wisdom that come with maturity. I made a decision that I would blow off all my previous doubts, insecurities and fears and I would take on my biggest physical and mental challenge. I believed that I had it in me to transform my overweight, cellulite ridden body to that of a Figure Competitor and so .... I did.

But did I believe that I was ready to live lean and love life? Well if you've followed my blog over the last year you'll know the answer to that. In November 2007 I weighed in at 76+kgs when I embarked on my current journey. (My comp weight had been 55kgs). Speaks for itself doesnt it.

So here I am in 2009 and I have to ask myself what I believe.

Do I believe that I can train hard enough to transform my body once again, or do I find an excuse not to?

Do I believe that my body will respond to the training or do I write it off as "too old" or "the product of too much yoyo dieting"?

Do I believe that I can learn to understand my emotional eating, what triggers it and why, or do I believe that "I've always done it so I dont know any different"?

Do I believe that I can learn strategies and change my thought processes so that I can avoid emotional eating, or do I believe "its just too hard"?

And finally do I believe that I have it in me put all the pieces of the puzzle together and work out how to live lean and love life, or do I sit in my happy comfort zone feeling unhappy?

To be continued .....

Magda

KEEPING THE PLOT AND THEN LOSING IT

Funny title hey??

Let me elaborate. This time last year, my boys were away again and I had a few days of family-freedom. So how did I put it to use then? I ate. And ate. And ate. Why? Because I was having a meal out, chose some less-than-healthy things and then just went OUT OF CONTROL eating any and every bit of junk I could lay my hands/lips on. OMG it was such an awful time and I remember it feeling like the start of my demise. After that weekend it all went downhill for me with just a few short reprieve's along the way.

So this thought was in the back of my mind all weekend. And I was tested!! I ate out Saturday lunch-time, Sunday lunch-time, Sunday dinner and Monday lunch-time including a big piece of cake at my friend's house after lunch. And I was ok with it all and had no urges to stuff myself silly as a result of eating "off-plan". I was really happy with myself when the weekend wound up, my boys came home and I had "kept the plot" so to speak.

So what about this "losing it"??

I got news today that the project I had worked so hard on leading up to Christmas had gone to the Board today for approval and it was knocked back. This means delays for us which will have a significant impact down the track. Not to mention that I had slaved over it (I worked some ridiculous hours to get it done) to meet the deadline and now its missed it and there is more work to be done. Hence.... I LOST IT!!!!! On a scale of 1 - 10 my anger was soaring up to the 10. A glass of wine after work didnt have the desired stress-relief effect so it ended up down the drain (thats one good decision made at such a vulnerable time). I couldnt eat all my dinner though.

Hoping for calmer seas tomorrow.

Magda

DOOMED TO LOSE SLEEP

Yesterday I woke at the ridiculously early hour of 4.40am and ended up getting up early as I get bored and restless lounging in bed if I'm struggling to sleep.

Well today it was even worse. I was woken at 4am by a mozzie and I'd already been bitten. GRRRRR. Man was I pissed off but I decided to put the time to good use and cooked up a big batch of chilli for my WH . 2 breakfasts later I taught a step and combo class which will now be a regular 3 weekly occurrence for me. There will be many happy people at the gym when I announce it in 3 weeks time.

Lunch was at mum and dad's today and we had roast duck which was something different and nice. After lunch I chatted with my parents and we talked about some of the very unhealthy foods we ate when we were all younger and the world didnt know better. Some were quite cringe-worthy when you consider them in our go low fat/low GI/low salt/low-or-no everything world. We had a good laugh though.

I then visited my local Westfield to shop for a few odds and ends including some new lipsticks. It was so much easier today without a 6 year old getting bored to tears and acting up accordingly. And instead of it taking 15-20 minutes to find colours I liked, it took about 5 and there was 15% off as well. I was a winner on all fronts. I couldnt let the afternoon pass without a leisurely skim cappuccino and a few pages of my new book.

When I got home I whipped up a big batch of chilli for myself - why different for WH and me, you ask - well WH doesnt like kangaroo (I do!!) and he has chorizo sausage in his. When I suggested that his chilli would be healthier without the chorizo I was told that "that was the best bit" so it has stayed.

I had dinner at S+BIL's tonight. As I've mentioned my BIL is Scottish and being Burns Night tonight we had haggis, black pudding, mashed potatoes, mashed swedes and - just for me - some green veg. ( I pleaded for the greens after seeing how much butter and double cream went into the mashed potato - eegads my ILs are all really big and its not surprising why!!).

So despite having a bit of anxiety earlier in the week about these 2 meals with family I was really happy with how I handled them:

1. I relaxed and enjoyed them.
2. I didnt fret about high calories or fat grams or whether they were too high in carbs (probably an affirmative on all 3)
3. I made sensible choices about how much I ate of stuff (healthy and not so healthy) without appearing to be obsessive about it
4. I didnt overeat because it all tasted so good and I could diet again tomorrow

By golly is that progress for me, or what??!!

:-) Magda

A BOOT-FULL OF FOOD

You're looking at my A3's boot full of food. 6 green bags (3 from the supermarket, 3 from the fruit and veg market), a shredder (not for human consumption) with a carton of 18 x 375ml Diet Coke cans behind it (yeah yeah I know its not really good for me but everyone is allowed some daily vices (or treats) and I like to have one at work around 4pm when tiredness catches up with me BIG TIME).

I bought: 3 dozen eggs, bananas, apples, lemons, ruby grapefruit (for WH), garlic, spanish onion, brown onion, spring onions, sweet potato (for WH), white potatoes, carrots, pumpkin, capsicums, continental cucumber, green beans, asparagus, brocolli, huge bunch silverbeet, snow peas, avocado, 1/2 cabbage, brussel sprouts, mushrooms, coriander, zucchini, salted cashews (for guests) and a big bag of pepitas. We have home grown tomatoes and peaches from mum and dad's tree and I buy fresh spinach leaves weekly at the supermarket. This should last us about 2-3 weeks with a small weekly top up. My fridge is groaning with it all and I have no excuse now for struggling to put a good meal together.

So how did I pass my bacheloress day today?

Well sadly I woke up WAY too early and couldnt get back to sleep so was up before dawn. Ate an early breakfast and had the Saturday paper all to myself BONUS!! I did the grocery shopping early and called in to my favourite local cafe (well my ONLY local cafe really - but a good one nevertheless) for a skim cappuccino. Hmm what about some fruit toast I was thinking as I was hungry again and still had cardio to do later in the morning. No just eat your Slim Secrets bar and skip the toast was the counter-perspective and it appealed so I went with it.

Dash home, unload shopping, cram cold stuff into the fridge and race off to the gym to participate in the cycle class. Gym members (who all know me from my many years of teaching there) are all surprised to see me and its nice to catch up with some again. Work reasonably hard in cycle class (346 cals torched in 43 minutes) and have a nice long chat to the Instructor afterwards. Gee I love talking about myself and my competing experiences and he seemed to like listening so there was no stopping me. Race home for food and shower (no fitness slob today!!) and head out to drop a duck off to mum and dad's (yes its tomorrow's lunch) and meet Miss Kerry and Miss Cheryl for lunch at The Store in Melbourne Street. My definition of bliss: 3 hours of talking about training, dieting, competing and anything related. Throw a yummy Florentine omelet in for lunch and I'm one happy camper.

Then its out to visit a friend for a quick catch up (I turn down an invite to dinner as the extra fat in my lunch has me feeling quite full). I arrive home after 6pm and must water the garden as its "our day" and it needs a good watering (strict instructions from my WH). Reinforce to myself how much I HATE gardening and am thankful that its WH's job normally. Next job is to put all the groceries away and then think about something very low in fat for dinner. Chicken breast to the rescue (I'll leave the atlantic salmon for another night) and talk to BS and WH on Skype.

Finally get to blog and hopefully manage an early night. But need to wind right down first. Phew I feel buggered just reading all that.

BTW: Metal Monster has finally dropped into the next number range down and I was on a bit of a high about that too. Funny though that my measurements arent going down but some clothes are getting looser and I feel smaller.

Cheers

Magda

THE KID FREE WEEK CULMINATES IN A BACHELORESS WEEKEND

If you've followed my blog this week you'll know that we (WH & I) have been kid-free while BS has been in Qld with his grandparents.

Last night WH and I went out for dinner after work. Check out what we had, its truly superb and very healthy http://www.strath.com.au/dining/stonegrill-dining It was nice to be out to dinner knowing that any damage to the healthy eating plan was minimal (I did have a few chips but not many).

This morning I took WH to the airport so he can pick up BS and bring him home ready to go back to school next week. They return on Monday night so I'm a bacheloress til then. WOOHOO!! I have a really nice mix of social activities, me-time and a few chores planned.

It all started with me going for a walk/run after work. I NEVER train straight after work but with no family commitments I couldnt let the opportunity slip by (even though I had a rest day scheduled). Plus I was feeling a bit hungry so I thought it'd be a great opportunity to blast some fat cells (well I hope so anyway). It was a short 30 minute session but I got a good HR reading so I was very happy. Then in true fitness-slob style I ate my dinner while I read blogs and caught up on Lindy Olsen's forum. How tragic is that LOL??!!

I'm hoping to reinstate my blogroll this weekend. I hate change thats forced on me when my perfect little world is upset.

Cheers all and I hope you have a great long weekend. I know I'll be back to post about my activities, achievements and aspirations.

:-) Magda

THE COMPLEXITIES OF EATING

Who’d have thought that eating could be complex? I mean, how complex is 1. put food in mouth; 2. chew; 3. swallow; 4. repeat? But I think you might know where I’m heading with this. It’s the reasons we eat – especially those that don’t relate to hunger. Yep emotional eating, celebratory eating, keep-people-happy-eating just to name a few of these situations.

So here’s my simple take on this issue. Its not an indepth analysis of emotional eating – its causes, cures etc. Its how I’ve categorised my different modes of eating and assigned them a rating.

GREEN LIGHT EATING: Clean eating principles.

Lets start with the best and ideal form of eating. This is what comes naturally on most days when I’m making a decision to do what’s physically (and emotionally) best for me. When I am focussed on my short and long term goals and I’m committed to taking positive action, eating clean comes naturally. I make good choices because I want to, not because I feel I should. Aaaah I love a perfect world LOL.

AMBER LIGHT EATING: Celebratory eating, holiday eating, keep-people-happy-eating.

OK so most of the time I’m coasting along in my green light zone. All is good and I’m moving towards achieving my goals. Lo and behold there is a bump in the road and the light turns amber. We go on holidays and the eating is relaxed or we have an “occasion” and we indulge just a little – or maybe a lot or the feared invite to dinner at a friend’s or family’s place. Why feared? Well what if everything is deep-fried, or covered in creamy sauce and there isn’t a vegetable or salad within cooee? How do we handle that? This will depend on the situation but regardless it places me in that amber zone. Its like “beware, keep it in check and get back to green as soon as possible”. Sometimes I handle the amber zone well and sometimes it’s a guaranteed slide into …..

RED LIGHT EATING: Mindless eating, secret eating, binging

Oooh how I hate this zone for a whole range of reasons. Not just the physical effect of bloating, dry mouth, sugar hang-over, fluid retention and weight gain but the emotional effects are significant. The sense of loss of control, of feeling weak, silly, embarrassed if anybody found out … these are a bitter pill to swallow after swallowing a heap of junk already.

This year I’m working hard to significantly reduce my incidents of red light eating. I’m learning what triggers it and that’s a head start to learning how to avoid it. I’ve found my recent triggers to be: stress and/or pressure at work (when I’m really under the pump, comfort from food is very attractive to me); boredom with my regular food and feeling unsatisfied after my meals (yep all of a sudden I DESERVE that treat and once I’ve had it, well I’ve blown it all so I’ll just have more) and scale weight messing with my head (which is a separate post in itself). Sometimes an amber light eating episode will just morph into a red light one pretty much due to the “well I’ve blown it already so I might as well have everything junky I may ever want” mentality.

You would think that as an intelligent 40 something woman I would get this simple exercise right. But we all know that life is never that simple. So I’ll tackle the issue head on knowing that I have it in me to succeed.

:-) Magda

TRACKING NICELY THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Since my return to the real world (aka home and work) I've been tracking quite nicely. After my "relaxed holiday eating" its always a bit hard to get back on track but I was determined to do it. My IFG (Inner Fat Girl) - who is still not so inner - tried really hard to get me to keep eating treat foods with conversations like "go on, it'll taste fantastic" and "well you've eaten off track for a few days already so a few more wont matter". I had to give her a serious smack down and remind myself of my short and long term goals. So when I got to the end of the day clocking up another "Gold Coin Day" I was pretty pleased with myself.

So whats this Gold Coin Day I refer to? I have a jar on my kitchen bench top where I deposit a gold coin for every day I eat clean and on track. Its like my reward for a job well done that day and I'm getting a bit of a kick out of seeing the jar slowly fill up. I'm not 100% strict with my eating coz I'm not in "comp prep" or anything but I know how to eat to lose body fat and if I eat right then in goes a coin.

Training has been good (it usually is for me as I'm pretty religious with it) and WH and I have taken advantage of being kid-free this week. Yesterday, despite 37 degree heat we went for a 40 minute walk after work. I thought he'd pike out but no he was ok to do it so who was I to wimp out!! Dinner was chicken breast with Thai seasoning and a huge salad. Today we had to skip the walk as WH had work to do at home but I headed out on my own for a brisk trot after dinner had settled. Its a warm night and it was lovely being out in it.

So two days after my weekend away I'm still feeling a bit thicker around the middle but I know it'll go easily enough if I keep doing all the right things. Just taking a step at a time on the long road to success.

:-) Magda

THE QUEENSLAND TRIP ROUND UP

Well the Queensland weekend has come and gone and here is my report and round up.

BS and I headed off from Adelaide on Friday morning all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The flights were mainly uneventful and there were no dramas with the connecting flight in Sydney. I say mainly because we were very bumpy and unsteady on the landing in Maroochydore but to his credit the pilot got the plane down without any problems and to the cheers of all on board. We were picked up by the ILs and chauffeured to their resort home in the Sunshine Coast hinterland where a white wine was in order to mark the start of the mini-holiday.

This was followed up by a swim in the pool basking in the gloriously hot and sunny weather. Just perfect in my books. MIL cooked fresh salmon for dinner and some more white wine was consumed in the name of “holiday cheer”.

I was up before my alarm on Saturday morning (like at 5.15am!!) and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast of toasted home made wholemeal bread with peanut butter and butter and honey for breakfast. Too many carbs?? Who cares I was doing RPM high performance so the carbs wouldn’t be wasted. The drive to Indroopilly was ok and thanks to my trusty GPS I made it there despite road works and a few wrong turns. Then it was just a case of finding Fitness First on time. But I managed that ok as well. I was hugely relieved to get a big warm hug from Liz who helped set me up for the class.

I also met Lindy Olsen, Lisa Stokes and Shelley (again) and had Lisa on the bike next to me setting a cracking pace and giving no less than 100% on each track. I love RPM but I’m not built for speed so on the speed work I was feeling very inadequate. However give me some standing hills to power up and I will find every last bit of energy to give it my absolute best. Subsequently the last work track was my favourite. What an exhilarating feeling pushing out with max power to get up the final hills.

Liz is truly a brilliant instructor. She is inspiring and motivating and encouraging in just the right blend. You might walk in feeling a bit nervous or scared but you’re guaranteed to walk out feeling exhilarated and fantastic, albeit totally buggered LOL. After RPM we did a 1:1 training session to check my squat and deadlift techniques. In that hour or so we spent together I learnt so much about these two exercises and how to correct some problems I’d been having. It was well worth the flight to Queensland and the 90+ minute drive (each way) for the experience and knowledge gained. We also talked about where to take my training and what I can expect over the coming year.

Then it was off to Phuc Viet Deli for the famous rice paper rolls, which were to die for. Shelley joined us for a chat and I love the way we bloggers can get together for the first time and talk like we’ve been friends for ages (maybe its because we sort of have). Chatting with Shelley was fantastic. She is as positive and full of energy in person as she is on her blog … and she looks bloody awesome too!!

After Shelley left Liz and I chatted some more and again it was just so relaxed and nice to do it face to face instead of by email. Sadly by 11am or so it was time for me to head back. The afternoon was spent with a dear friend and his children who came to visit. My BS and his son spent the afternoon in the pool while we chatted the afternoon away. Dinner was at a neighbouring town pub with friends of my ILs and we had a crowd of 9 for the occasion. Once again a few white wines were enjoyed but food was in the “moderately bad” category (instead of disgustingly bad).

Sunday afternoon was spent travelling home once again via Sydney. I read my Women’s Health and Fitness magazine on the plane and finished it just as we landed. The lady sitting next to me asked what I had been reading and I showed her the mag and then decided to give it to her. It felt good to be able to do a small nice thing for someone. WH and I finished the “almost perfect weekend” with dinner out at a café and a big catch up of the weekend apart. Last chance to have a white wine (or two) before getting back to 100% clean food today.

Yes Liz I did have more than my 2 wines/week this weekend and now I’m back on track to eat well and train consistently. And it started with a 50 minute walk this morning at a fast pace keeping my HR in the working zone (or higher). Finally I just want to say how lucky I am and how thankful I am for the following:

1. To have such wonderful ILs that I can happily stay with and use my MIL’s car to do what I need to do when I visit.

2. My job may bring with it some pressure and stress which make life challenging but it also affords me the ability to travel to Queensland for a weekend to deliver my son for a holiday with his grandparents and for me to see Liz.

3. My WH who would have loved to do this trip himself but knew how important it was for me to do it and so he happily arranged for me to go.

4. To have Liz coach me to achieve my dreams, goals and aspirations.

Cheers all

Magda

FOR LIA

I promised that I'd post about the BOSU but rather than read my disjointed ramblings I suggest you pop in here http://www.bosu.com/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=bosu/story.html?article=2408.

Liz has me doing hamstring and glute work + core strengthening on it. Its a killer workout.

One sleep and I fly out. Looking forward to meeting Liz (again) on Saturday and am ready for a caning :-)

Cheers all

Magda

THE MEANING OF NUMBERS

As you know, the Metal Monster is being a total idiot this week. The sooner it learns that eating lean, clean food in moderation + drinking lots of water + training with intensity and consistency = numbers going DOWN, the happier I’ll be and we can continue our almost daily liaison. Its obviously a slow learner and unless it pulls its socks up, it’ll be a neglected slow learner.

Having said that, there was a drop this morning but its still .5kgs from last week’s weigh in on Friday so typically I’m still not happy. Oops sounding all glass-half-empty but that’s where I’m at with the silly bugger.

So on the walk to work this morning I got to thinking about numbers and what they mean. Within each aspect of health and fitness, is there a magical number at which life is just right?

Cholesterol reading: 5.5 seems to be the benchmark. Under and you’re ok but over and you’ll have the doctor threatening drugs. Some doctors are smart and bold enough to recommend lifestyle changes but many still revert to the drug cure all too quickly.

Resting hear rate: the lower the better as this indicates a superior level of cardiac fitness. However, venture too low and you approach the “dead” end of the spectrum so we cant be too literal in our interpretation. Working/training heart rates get more complex with a formula that you just draw upon when you’re about to cough a lung up after an intense cardio session, enabling you to calculate if you’re in your “training zone”. Or you can woos out of this challenging process and resort to the trusty Polar hear rate monitor but that’s like taking the easy way out.

Weight: is a veritable minefield if you consider scales, body fat scales, and consideration of gender, height and body composition. Lets look at scales alone. You hop on first thing in the morning and see what you weigh. Does it put a smile on your face or does it evoke a range of negative feelings? Does that number reflect “who you are” that day? Has it allowed for the salty soy sauce you put on your stir fired veges last night or the killer leg session that has you screaming with DOMS pain today? No! So how relevant is that number then?

What about body fat scales? What’s your percentage doing today? Has it swung up by 3% or has it dropped to an all time low but your weight has stayed the same? Think about it: loss of body fat but no loss in weight would have you thinking that the fat you lost turned into muscle. Hahaha I don’t think so. Once again, numbers all over the place so how accurate can they be.

Or you can get pinched for skinfolds or body fat percentage. That’s fine if you have ready access to an experienced body fat tester AND they test at a consistent time and you’re not holding fluid or …… again variables, variables and more variables.

Lets not even mention BMI where a muscly person who is actually really lean can be rated as overweight or nearing obesity.

So with all these considerations and knowing how different 2 people who weigh the same can look, we should ask ourselves what the numbers mean. Is there a magical number at which life is just right for you or do you see the numbers for what they are? “quotiety or how-many-ness” (Pocket Oxford Dictionary). They have no power, can be taken in many different contexts and are subject to unexplained fluctuations. Best not to get too bogged down in them, I think.

Cheers

Magda

METAL MONSTER MADNESS AND EARLY MORNING RUNNING

I miss my Bloglist but I cant be bothered trying to reinstate it all so I'm all over the place tracking down blogs I follow. Its a bit of a nuisance and I'll have to tackle the new Bloglist when I have more time.

The second thing thats pissin me off is the Metal Monster. It still insists on heading in the wrong direction despite clean eating well within my calorie allowance and regular training. I expected a bit of a spike on Sunday (well not really but it didnt surprise me) but then I also expected a drop after eating very clean that day. But it (MM) heads up a bit more just to really piss me off and reinforce my hate of weighing more than say twice a week. Yep I know it'll go up/down/up/down etc for its own purposes but quite frankly I feel I dont need to know what happens in between one week and a week later. Seeing it in black and white just raises my frustration levels.

We had a scorcher in Adelaide today (40 degrees+) and I just had to take advantage of this wonderful and rare occassion. (Yes I love hot weather) What am I talking about?? When its going to be really hot I love getting out in the early morning for a sweaty cardio session. So today I was heading out the door by 5am to do an hour long walk/jog session with several random jogging intervals of 2-4 minutes each. 444 was the magical calorie burn and I felt great when I got home. I SO love my cardio and always look forward to it.

But after my trip to Queensland - hello to all the RPMers I'm looking forward to meeting at Liz's class on Saturday - we are ramping up my weight training and keeping cardio at a moderate level. Still looking to lose the body fat but more importantly we gotta build me some muscles. I cant wait to get the nitty gritty details from Liz so I can work out how to fit the training into my life from a physical, emotional and nutrition-balancing perspective. That all sounds a bit complicated but they are things I need to have in order to make it work.

So on that note I'll say good night and finish getting tomorrow's meals ready. 3 sleeps and I'm on the plane to the Sunny Coast (via Sydney).

Cheers

Magda

:-(

F*CK I WENT TO UPDATE MY BLOGLIST AND I JUST DELETED IT ALL. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

THE WEEKEND ROUND -UP

Last night we had an unplanned impromptu dinner with our friends after my girlfriend and I took our boys to the movies. There is always some challenge around eating out when you are focussed on losing body fat so here's how its all went.

When the movie finished my girlfriend took my son to her place and I ducked home to picked up WH. I ate my healthy snack then as I was hungry and I didnt want to arrive back for dinner starving and guaranteed to hoe into the pre-dinner nibbles. That was a good decision because when the cheese, dip and crackers went out on the table, I wasn t tempted. I had a glass of wine that I slipped very slowly. My friend even commented that "you're not drinking that would you like something else?" I politelty refused and explained that I was taking it slowly as I was driving home. That wine lasted me 2+ hours!!

My friend is married to an Italian so she has become an excellent pasta cook and pasta was on the menu last night. I know she is conscious of cooking healthy meals for her family so I totally relaxed and enjoyed every mouthful of my tomato based sauce with chorizo and some veges over penne pasta. It was delicious and although it wasnt totally clean I wasnt stressing about it. I had salad with it and didnt overeat so I was pleased that I handled it so well.

Desert was chockies and biscuits which I passed on so any damage would have been minimal. Nevertheless Metal Montser decided by spike by .6kgs this morning after hitting a new low yesterday. Its such a silly bugger and I just cant warm to the frequent weighing no matter what good reasons there may be for it.

Training was fantastic yesterday with noticeable improvement on the BOSU so that was another bonus. Its still really really hard but I'm lasting longer on the various abdominal bracing holds. Today has been a rest day so I tackled the housework instead. WH didnt recognise the place when he got home from playing golf LOL.

4 days back at work and then I'm off to Queensland for the weekend. Doing Liz's killer RPM class on Saturday and then having a training session (if I'm still alive). Cant wait!!

Cheers all

Magda

HOLIDAYS ARE NEARING THEIR END

Sadly today was the last "work day" of my holidays and on Monday its back to the grind. BS and I pottered around and did some back-to-school shopping like buying a new lunch carrier, drink bottle and sneakers. We snuck in some more playground time, bought groceries and had lunch out (again). It was a good day but hopefully tomorrow we'll go to the movies with his friend and my best friend and that'll be a real treat.

I have been eating quite well since the new year and I feel that the Metal Monster will be kind tomorrow morning. It better be or it'll get a big swift kick and a string of unpleasant expletives thrown at it LOL. But seriously, I've been trying hard to break away from a "diet mentality" but logging on CalKing has the exact oppostite effect on me. If I'm out and having a meal I'm sizing it up to try and guess portions, then checking all the ingredients and then trying to guess what the dressing or sauce or whatever was. Its like I'm on an investigation and I have all this information that I need to find out. I order healthy (as a matter of course) but am not relaxed about eating.

Similarly at dinner time, I was obsessively weighing everything I was preparing. WH and I were sharing a meal tonight and it was quite a chore to record the ingredients and then portion them out and estimate portion sizes etc etc etc. At the end of it there are all these numbers on CalKing which I look at and wonder how accurate they are after all that effort. Hmmm tonight I'm a bit glass-half-empty about logging dietary intake. Hopefully the tide will turn tomorrow.

Training is going well. My weights are creeping up in my "Sexy Back" program but I'm still on baby weights after not training consistently last year. Tomorrow I get to add some running to my morning walk and then I have another date with the Allmighty Creator of Awesome Abs (also known as the BOSU). I still have abs DOMS from my last session from a couple of days ago so it'll be interesting to see how I go.

Cheers all and hope your weekend is great.

Magda

THE PLAN B DAY - OR GOING WITH THE FLOW

Well I made it through today after a few upsets to my planned schedule.

I had to go into work this morning to do an urgent and very important job. So I got up at 5, trained and did the usual getting ready for work routine (apart from putting on cargo pants, a T shirt and sneakers). I dropped BS at my parents' house and was well on the way when I realised I had left my notebook at home. It had all the notes for what I had to do today and I didnt trust myself to remember them all. Hmmm. Plan B!! Go into work, locate all the documents I need from our network, email them home and go back and do the work there and then email it all through to the person requiring it. OK so that worked just fine :-)

I had also promised to take BS and his friend to a play cafe today and luckily was still on track to get there reasonably early. So we get in, the boys race off to play and I settle in with my paper, phones etc expecting to have a decent 3 hour session there. Within 15 mins BS is running back to me screaming his head off as he got a blood nose (he is prone to them). Lordy there is blood everywhere and I settle him down, clean him up as best I can and we do the hold-the-tissues-to-the-nose-trick for as long as it takes. Within minutes of the bleeding ceasing on one side, the other side decides to gush blood as well and I'm fast running out of tissues.

I gather up the boys and we go home 45 mins after getting there. Plan B!! We are home and they have lunch and get stuck into the Wii. Later we go out for a gelati and they are happy. Luckily kids are easy to please and the day is not a total disaster. Come to think of it, I was happy to be home too as I could have my lovely chicken/chick pea salad without the threat of a playcafe employee coming down on me for consuming food that wasnt brought on the premises (this has happened before when I was day from competing).

So the motto of today's post is : when life throws a little curve ball you can totally fluff it by playing the shot exactly as you had planned or you can be a bit flexible, adapt to the new situation and give it your best shot to get it right. The choice is yours.

:-) Magda

DAILY HIGHLIGHTS / DAILY LOWLIGHTS

HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Playing several games of hopscotch with my BS (when was the last time you did that??!!)
2. Taking my BS to work with me (briefly) and introducing him to my colleagues.
3. Yay the launch of my BOSU training this morning.
4. Morning walk in the light drizzle.
5. Lunch out - warm chicken salad with a roasted capsicum pesto dressing (probably a bit higher in fat than ideal but VERY YUMMY)

LOWLIGHTS:

1. Discovering my serious lack of core strength. BOSU training = almost dead Magda LOL.
2. Work sneaking into my precious holiday time. It HAD to be done but would rather be 100% BS focussed.
3. House is a mess. On the other hand - a clean house is a sign of wasted time (or something like that - Kek help me out here!!)
4. I'm attempting to set a new record for what can be sitting in my ironing basket. (Note to self: One must wear one's "Domestic Goddess" hat eventually as the wardrobes are starting to look bare.)
5. Vege shopping is very much due. Yep its market time this weekend so I dont have to ration out the spinach leaves and see how far I can make a red capsicum go.

Cheers all

Magda

BACK TO THE USUAL

Well tonight I'm posting with my "Fitness Fun and Figure" hat on again although I will just mention that after witnessing yesterday's beautiful incident, I did approach today quite differently. I took BS to see Madagascar 2 and on the car ride there and back (longish drives both ways) I patiently answered all his questions and indulged in all of his little fantasies. Yes I gave him 100% of my attention and we had quite a few laughs (until he fell asleep LOL).

Training has been difficult on a couple of fronts. Firstly my annoying headcold still has me waking up feeling awful and I'm training through it coz I know if I leave it til later in the day, there's a ghood chance it wont get done. So today was my "Sexy Back" program followed by a brief rowing interval session. I was so grateful that I didnt have to push out a long cardio session as I didnt feel at all up to it. Training at home is great as I can do it exactly when it suits me and I dont have to allow for travel time, or make sure WH is around to look after BS or other considerations. However it can have its down side. Like today. I was interrupted for the following reasons:

1. WH asking if the belt he had on matched his shoes and his new suit. OK let me put my "fashion stylist" hat on and sort out the wardrobe disaster before he embarasses himself in public.
2. BS telling me he'd finished breakfast. OK time to be "mum" here and tell him to go and watch the rest of his favourite show quietly before he is allowed to fire up the Wii.
3. Pussy cat coming in for a rub while I'm pulling away at my seated rows. Could it be food time? I think so. Feed the cat and she'll leave you alone Magda.
4. BS back again to tell me his favourite show has now finished and "they just have the bits on that tell you how they made it" (I must teach him the word "credits".) "Mum" time again and I order him to go and play on his Wii.
Did I say its great to train at home LOL???

Food has been good although a bit light on the calories seeing its holiday time and there just naturally is one meal less. This will correct itself next week, I'm sure. While preparing my dinner tonight I found myself obsessively cutting cooked chicken breast several times to get that 100g just right. Lordy just slap me coz thats exactly the sort of behaviour I need to avoid.

And finally headspace is pretty darned good I reckon. I'm not letting my headcold get me down. I'm not letting the image of my too fat legs get me down. I'm not fretting about how many calories I'm eating, or not eating. I'm enjoying the time I have with my BS this week and I'm packing in activities that we can do together. Life IS pretty good right now I reckon.

Magda

PURE LOVE AND PATIENCE

Tonight's post has nothing to do with fitness, fun or figure but its something that made a huge impression on me today and I wanted to write about it.

I took BS to the pool today. While we were mucking around in the water a touching sight caught my eye. Two young men (teenagers - maybe one around 20) were making their way into the water. They were brothers judging by the similarity of their facial features. The younger man had a disability and was wary about entering the pool. He was ambulant but looking at the unusual shape of his spine and his gait it was obvious that he was not easily mobile. His brother was supporting him and slowly encouraging him to take the steps into the water.

The youger man was relying totally on his bigger brother both physically (he needed to hold onto him and be held in return) and from a trusting perspective too. It took some time for them to get into the water. After getting in they spent quite some time in the pool, a lot of it playing with a bright red ball that the younger man was enjoying playing catch with one of the lifeguards.

What I found so touching (and I confess that I watched them for some time) was the totally unselfish way the older man cared for his brother. He NEVER took his eyes off him. He was never more than a hand's reach away and he NEVER stopped smiling in all the time they were there. He was there for his brother 100% showing patience and love like I havent seen before. It was quite moving.

As we were leaving, the two young men who had left the pool area some time before us, were in the cafeteria area having something to eat and drink. The older brother was helping the younger one to have his drink, still smiling, still there 100%.

It made me think of all the times that as parents we brush our kids off, we get short with them, we raise our voices because of something thats bothering us and we give them way less than 100%. I'm ashamed to say that with me it happens too often and so I was really touched by what I saw today.... a young man who could happily give 100% of himself to his brother. That was pure love and patience in my book.

Cheers

Magda

WHEN THINGS ARE GOING AGAINST YOU

I've been battling a sore throat and annoying headache for a few days but I'm trying to stay positive and I've pretty much just soldiered on. I had accepted more fill-in classes for this morning and I knew if I pulled out at late notice, the classes wouldnt have gone ahead. So I was there to teach even in my considerably less than 100% state.

During the step class I knew my pulse had skyrocketed as I was fading fast in both energy and brain power (yep completely forgot my routine for a couple of seconds but kept going like the old pro that I am LOL). I had to adjust my effort for the 1 hour class that followed just to make sure I got through it. When I checked my HRM it showed I had burned 756 calories which is an all time record. (I think the HR spike in step accounted for a lot of that). Boy was I glad when the classes were over and I could just crash.

WH gave me a lovely treat in light of my "poorly state". He offered to take BS to the beach to give me some quiet time. How sweet!! So while they were out I looked at all the chores that needed doing and decided they could wait. I finished reading the paper while I ate my lunch. Luxury!! Then I caught up on blogs, tidied up my lunch mess and then lay on my bed reading The Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno. It was bliss. The boys came home after a couple of hours and then all was back to normal. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted.

Feeling positive and inspired this afternoon I asked WH to do some progress pics for me as I've now lost about 6kgs since starting with Liz in November and I was feeling so much better knowing that I had improved. And this is where the inspiration for my blog title came from. OMG my pics DO show improvement but my legs are so big, heavy and awful that I felt really down after seeing the pics. Despite this I sent the pics through to Liz and got some very positive and encouraging feedback. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I'm eating well, doing my training as prescribed by Liz and working on my positive headset so things can only improve.

Oh and on a final note ..... I'll be logging on CalKing again so my other challenge is to not get too anal or obsessive about it (yep I'm one of those "if I'm gonna do it then I'm gonna do it right people" and everything ends up on the scales, jotted down and then analysed). I'm sure I must have been a mad scientsit in a past life :-)

Cheers all

Magda

THE GOAL POST

I've been mulling over what I want to achieve in 2009. Some of my goals are very clear and specific, others arent so and they may well morph into something quite different as the year progresses. I will share them all, nevertheless.

On the drive home yesterday (4 hours in the car) I had another "Oh-I'll-enter-the-12-Week- Body-Blitz-Challenge (run by Womens Health and Fitness magazine)-moment". I was having visions of achieving an amazing transformation and taking out Monthly Winner and then maybe even Overall Winner- oh the fame - oh the fortune. LOL!! But after sleeping on it I decided that I didnt need a competition to drive me to achieve my weight loss because all the drive I needed was right within me. I didnt need to find it elsewhere.

My first goal is to to get my weight down to 60-62kgs and I want to achieve this in 12 weeks which will be very close to my wedding anniversary. This year I want to look smokin hot when WH and I go out to a top notch restaurant to celebrate. A week later I'm off for a girls only weekend to Sydney. My girlfriends are both quite slim and this year and I dont want to be the fat-girl-out. If I choose to shop on the holiday I want to look forward to it and not dread trying to find something that I'll like and that'll fit.

But it goes deeper than that. I long to be happy in my skin and generally happy with how I look. I want to enjoy good healthy food and the occassional treat and I want to feel good - happy, relaxed and not always fretting that I need to lose weight - over and over again.

Yep that goal leads into my next goal of maintenance. Here is where I'll really need Liz's help as the "M" word has always eluded me. I've lost weight heaps of times but have rarely kept it off for any extended period (maybe once or twice). Mastering Maintenance will be my biggest challenge I think but its worth working for as I want to be free of the constant diet mentality.

Then there's the "C" word. To compete or not to compete that is the question. I have a quietly burning desire to do it again and I'm prepared to work for it. But there are things brewing in the pipelines for us as a family which will effect my competing plans although nothing is set in stone yet. This goal may change during the year but right now one eye is set on that date in September (which I have to check in case its changed again).

For some time now I've been wanting to overhaul my wardrobe but have been loathe to spend the money on fat clothes. Its my goal to ditch everything that is unflattering, unsuitable, dated, cheap and ready for donating to charity and then slowly replace with quality items. I'm talking designer pieces and quality and I'm prepared to do it slowly and properly. I like to look good because it makes me feel good and clothes play a big part in that. Oh the fun of all that shopping mwahahaha

I'm not sure what work will bring. I'm due to finish in my current job in September when Miss R returns from maternity leave. I dont want to go back to my previous job (but I can and I may well have to). Premier Mikey (Mike Rann) handed down the doom and gloom half yearly budget just before Christmas and announced that several (about 1600) public service jobs will go and that means packages for those severing ties with the trusty and secure public service. I have moments of squealing "pick me pick me" and I feel all fired up about a new career and then I have moments of doubt and wonder if putting our nice lifestyle at risk is worth it. This one needs a lot more discussion and contemplation. Watch this space....

Finally if there was one thing that I wanted for 2009 it would be BALANCE. For me this means getting to my goal weight without starving, without weighing/measuring and logging every crumb, without giving up the treats I enjoy (wine, Diet Coke, bread, nuts, cake) but happily having them in moderation and by doing training that I enjoy and that gets me results. Balance is eating well 90% of the time and enjoying treats in moderation. Its going out to dinner and ordering what I feel like, not what I think I should have (and then not enjoying it). Its handling stress, boredom, frustration in non-food ways and not giving into the urge to eat til you'll explode. Its having the time and energy to devote to my family and knowing that I'm there with them 100%. Thats what balance means to me.

Magda

ONE YEAR ENDS AND ANOTHER BEGINS

In the Wet Cave - Naracoorte Caves

Umpherston Sinkhole in Mount Gambier (yeeouch looking very podgy around the middle)

So 2008 ended not with a bang but a sort of half-arsed fizzle. Not that I expected a "BANG" as such but I did envisage having a champagne and some pre-dinner nibbles, followed by a lovely bottle of Giesen and a fresh lobster purchased from Port Macdonnell that morning accompanied by some lovely evening chatter with WH, rounded off with a Ferrero Rocher chocolate and a final glass of bubbly at midnight. I pictured lots of laughing, sharing our highs and lows of the year gone and what we hoped to achieve in 2009 on a number of different levels.

What I got was WH feeling off-colour and therefore not in the mood to drink, eat much or talk. He ended up building Lego with BS. I read my Womens Health magazine. Then BS and I watched Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (which BS was calling Herbie Goes to Mount Gambier as we'd been to Mt Gambier earlier that day). Seeing midnight in was but a pipe dream. At least I woke up with no hang-over from food or drink and a decent night's sleep. HOW SAD :-( LOL

So apart from last night not being what we planned, the rest of the holiday was fantastic. We explored caves, played on some great playgrounds, visited some nice towns, bought freshly caught/cooked lobster and prawns, saw the Blue Lake and Umpherston Sinkhole in Mount Gambier and did a spot of wine-tasting. Staying in the Coonawarra district, with very cool weather made for ideal red wine drinking conditions. Our accommodation had a great a-la-carte restaurant which we took good advantage of. Yep more "holiday eating" but I didnt go as crazy as I have at other times.

I have caught up on blogs and am planning my "GOAL POST" for tomorrow when I'm fresher and have thought it through a little more.

Cheers all Magda

GETTING AWAY

In a couple of hours we are off for a mini holiday. Just WH, BS and me. It'll be nice to get away from home, chores, the Wii and domesticity.

Will be back to post again on Jan 1. Have a great New Years Eve everyone. WH and I are planning to indulge in a lobster, a bottle of Giessen and some serious D & Ms about life, love and 2009. Thats just about a perfect night in my book.

Cheers all

Magda

REFLECTING ON 2008

Earlier today I went back to my January posts to see just what I had intended to achieve during 2008.

I read stuff like "compete in September" - X
And "get my eating under control once and for all" - X
Oh and "be a more balanced person" - X

But then there was "share more stuff with WH" - tick
And "never compromise my family time" - tick
And finally "give our BS the support he would need in his first year of school" - tick

I said in my post last night that I had mixed emotions about 2008 and thats very true. It wasnt one of my better years on a very personal level. Home life is great and I couldnt ask for more. BS did fantastically in his first year in school and progressed in leaps and bounds so WH and I are both very happy. But for me 2008 was a year of taking some backward steps by letting self doubt and negative thinking get the better of me. Words like "struggle" or "no motivation" and "however will I handle ?????" were still a big part of my life when it came to training and nutrition and I want to end these negative thought patterns.

Yep I feel a bit sad that things didnt turn out as I had hoped but I refuse to dwell on it. Mistakes are a part of life and when you blog honestly you share those mistakes with potentially the world which can be a bit confronting or daunting at times. On the other hand mistakes and dealing with your subsequent emotions and consequences can often be the driving force to do better next time.

So with that thought in mind I can identify what will be important to me in 2009 and how I'll go about achieveing those things. Different plan. Different headset. Different actions. Different results. I'm almost ready to roll.

Cheers all

Magda

POST CHRISTMAS WRAP-UP

My family (minus WH who took the pic) on Christmas Day.
Front: SIL with Hamish the llasa apso/shitsu cross.
Middle: Father-in Law (FIL); MIL; BS; my mum.
Behind my mum: me, my dad and BIL. Thats it. Thats our extended family and we all get along really well and love spending Christmas together. Its perfect.







I love Christmas but am glad that its over cause I cant maintain the pace of it all.





Yesterday we were invited to big family / friends get-together at SIL's place from lunch-time onwards. Neither WH nor I felt like socialising a lot more but went along anyway and contributed a significant amount of left-over food. We cut our visit short and happily spent some nice time together at home just contemplating what 2009 will bring for us. WH made the bold statement that he thought "2009 will be a defining year for us" and I have to agree. More on this in an up-coming post as it deserves one all of its own.





This morning I was back into the training and it being holidays I was able to do one of my programs and follow it up with an hour's brisk walk. I felt a bit tight after a week off and found it hard to get a decent walk pace going in the beginning but once I found 4th gear all was good. Followed that up with a superb breakfast of oat/egg white/low fat cottage cheese pancake with 1/2 banana, SF maple syrup and a sprinkle of LSA and I was ready to slay dragons. I felt great once again.





Today was the last day that the ILs are here so it was another day at SIL's place but at least it was just our family so it was very casual and relaxed (think: no make-up / hair in a ponytail / shorts /thongs - gotta love it!!). We did our bit to finish off left-overs and I bagsed the turkey meat and ate mountains of salad with it whilst everyone else hoed into the full-fat cheeses, cracker biscuits, gorgonzola and spinach pie, sweets, chocolates, ice cream and more beer and wine. I wasnt even tempted to indulge as all I wanted was good clean food and was happy when my wishes were accommodated.





Life is pretty good right now. Both WH and I are on holidays and are spending time with our BS. We've had a great time with the extended family and cherish Christmas for this reason. The weather is beautiful which lifts my spirits even higher. I'm in a good headspace and am enjoying training again and eating well. I look back over 2008 with mixed emotions but I look forward to 2009 with hope, excitement and a positive can-do attitude. It will be a defining year because I will make it so.





:-) Magda

MY CHRISTMAS

Yippee!! Santa was kind enough to bring me a BOSU trainer which was number 1 on my Xmas list.

A family snap taken moments bfore we started opening pressies. BS looks like he's ready to bolt and get the show on the road.

Blogger is very slow to load pics tonight so I've stopped at 2. These are the best we have anyway.

So how was my Christmas??

I got sick :-( and had a very abnormal day.

After meeting my all important deadline on Tuesday, I was able to finish work at 4pm and relax. The family went out to one of our local pubs for dinner. I had a couple of wines (including one with a friend to celebrate her 40th) and all up it was a day of pretty crappy eating as I was still in survival mode to get my work finished and hadnt prepared any healthy food.

On Christamas Eve I did a last minute early dash to the shops for the last of the pressies and some food shopping as we were hosting Xmas Day. It was a hectic time once again but it had to be done. Then home to clean and start preparing stuff in advance for the big day. Around 2pm I started to feel "off" and by the evening I wasnt feeling good at all. We went to my mum and dad's for dinner and I manged to eat a small amount but after the meal we went outside and I crashed in the sunlounge looking and feeling awful. It was a warm night but I had to borrow a cardi from my mum as I was cold. Things were NOT looking good.

We left early and went home to wrap a mountain of presents. I still felt awful but it had to be done and WH couldnt do it all himself. Went to bed with nothing else prepared and didnt care. I just needed my bed. That night I slept really badly. BS had a nosebleed during the night and I couldnt deal with it. I think WH got up twice to tend to him. I woke up early feeling dreadful and couldnt face getting out of bed. My stomach was awful. I was feverish, achey and I was still SO tired.

But staying in bed was not an option so up I got and started shuffling through the rest of the stuff that needed to be done. Luckily I picked up around 9 am but couldnt face any food or any champagne. I just sipped water. So I had none of the lavish breakfast nor any of the lovely Xmas munchies we have to snack on throughout the day. When it came to lunch time around 2.30 I had a small amount of antipasto but avoided anything strong or big on flavour and for mains I had a very small amount of turkey, stuffing and a few veges. All up I managed 1 glass of champagne and 1 glass of rose and didnt feel like more. For dessert I had a small scoop of premium vanilla ice cream. I have never eaten or drank so little on Christmas Day.

The highlight of my day was going to bed by 7pm and sleeping like the dead until 5.40am today.

But on a happier note, here is the impressive list of pressies that Santa brought me. Gee I must have been a good girl this year:

1. BOSU balance trainer from WH

2. Very funky necklace from WH

3. Earrings to match my funky necklace from BS

4. Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno from B+SIL

5. Eat Clean Diet Cookbook by Tosca Reno from B+SIL

6. Hamish & Andy - Unessential Listening CD from B + SIL (SIL works for Austereo so she scored this as a freebie)

7. Gladiator style black sandals (for work) from my mum and dad

8. Black bag to match new sandals from my mum and dad

9. Pedicure set from my mum and dad

10. Cute summer PJs from ILs

11. Sex & the City DVD from ILs

12. Scanpan frying pan from ILs

13. Haircare products

14. Lipstick

15. Egg cookbook

and some whacky $2 pressies that we go silly on each year.

Arent I a lucky girl!!?? Oh and with items numbered 1, 2, 3 and 12 I now have everything I need to sculpt a red hot body. BRING IT ON!! (I say)

:-) Magda

SURFACING FROM THE WORK PIT

Today was my last day before taking 2+ weeks leave and I absolutely had to finish a job and get it signed off by our Executive Director before she too went on leave tomorrow. It was a huge undertaking and I didnt even realise the magnitude of it until I got stuck into it.

So since last Thursday I have spent any spare weekend or evening time working, often til 11 or 12pm. I've had trouble sleeping so have gotten up early and worked some more. On the weekend I only did absolutely essential housework and some socialising with the family as the ILs are here for Xmas. The rest of the time I worked. Then to cap it off, I went into work for a 6.30am start yesterday and today. I had already done an hours work at home this morning (4-5am) before going to work.

I havent trained since last Wednesday. Food has been ok sometimes but could have been better at others. I havent planned or prepared healthy meals to take with me. I've been in "survival mode" with just one goal in mind and that was to meet my deadline.

So having achieved it, I can now breath and get myself sorted again.

Oh hang on, Xmas is fast approaching and there are celebrations galore to plan, prepare for and enjoy. Well maybe I'll start afresh on the 26th or 27th. Right now I need sleep, rest and balance.

I also have hundreds of blogs to catch up on and a Merry Christmas wish to send to you all.

Cheers

Magda

HOW'S THIS FOR A DAY?

Trained cardio.

Ate breakfast.

Went to work.

Meetings, urgent emails, more meetings, hardly any chance to breathe.

Pedicure at lunch-time. HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY!!

More work.

Pick up BS and head home.

Cook dinner and eat.

Clean up and make lunches.

Work at home.

Read blogs for 5 minutes and post for today.

Go to bed.

Magda

SEXY BACKS, LUKEWARM COFFEE, GOING LOOPY AND LAUGHING ABOUT IT

I started today with my "Bringing Magda's Sexy Back" Program (doesnt the title just make you want to push it hard!!) followed by a 20m minute walk as that was all I had time for. Sadly my heartrate stayed quite low during the walk so I must be focussed to move faster next time.

I'm not required to have any special PWO meals other than my usual breakfast which contains protein and starchy carbs but as we were going out for brekky today and eating would be seriously delayed, I decided to have a protein shake and a small piece of Burgen fruit/muesli toast with a scrape of SF jam. Protein and carbs to see me through til I could have a proper feed. I chose Bircher muesli with grated apple, honey, blueberries, fresh peach and mango slices and a sprinkle of almonds. Oh and despite being at "Adelaide's best breakfast venue" I was served a lukewarm skim cappuccino. I complained and was told that they chose to serve coffee warm "like the Italian way so you could drink it quickly and not sip it". Blaaaah!! I like my hot drinks hot!! And if I'm paying some ridiculous price for that coffee then I want to sip it slowly and enjoy it. Water is for skulling. Coffee isnt!

I've had a good day nevertheless. Yep I've been racing from one meeting to another and then trying to deal with all the things that crop up while you're out of the office and at one stage I was really going loopy but I chose to make fun of myself and laugh it off which is definitely the best tactic for me. I'm determined to handle the stress better and not let it get the better of me. My boss keeps telling me I'm doing a good job so I should start to listen and give myself some credit for what I am achieving instead of beating myself up over the stuff thats waiting to be tackled.

Oh and BTW the Metal Monster decided to add 1.1kgs to my previous weight (about a week ago) and whilst I didnt like the number, I didnt let it upset me. I just reminded myself that yes I had eaten poorly for 2-3 days BUT that my black pants still felt comfortably loose and my torso still had less lard on it than 6 weeks ago. So I felt good and my day wasnt going to be ruined by an undesirable number. PROGRESS!!!!

:-) Magda

THROWING PERFECTION OUT THE DOOR

So after regrouping yesterday, clocking up 2 good days and having a long email chat with Liz about managing emotional eating and planning for social occassions, I'm feeling better. Work is still madly crazy busy and yep the pressure is still on with one of my projects but I'm doing what I can and tackling one thing at a time and staying calm. I'm loving my training despite the alarm going off at 4.45am because I know it makes me feel so good for the start of the day.

I have a plan for this week and the social occassions that are dominating this time of year. I dont want to try to be 100% perfect with my eating and avoiding alcohol (life is just too short for that and it'll leave me miserable and craving the forbidden foods even more!!) so my plan is to enjoy the breakfasts/lunches/dinners etc and to make good choices but keep it all in moderation. The meals I make myself will be lean, clean and healthy to balance out any small imdulgences and of course I'll maintain my training and cardio to burn up some calories. The other thing I'll be working on is to maintain a good headspace, one where I believe I'm capable of staying in control, having things in moderation and not letting my "all or nothing" personality take over. Now thats the real challenge!!

Good night folks. I'm off to read a few favourite blogs and then sleep.

Magda

TIME TO REGROUP AND REFOCUS

Sometimes it takes an innocent 6 1/2 year old to utter a few simple words that make you take stock of what's important and give you the incentive to pull it back together.

So what were those words?

"Mummy you're never happy any more. I never see you being happy."

OUCH!! Kids have short memories and I must hang my head in shame as over the last few days these statements would ring very true. And over what?? Stressing about work. Making it worse by eating badly. Then having to accept the bloatedness that comes with it, not to mention how bad it leaves you feeling emotionally.

Well its time to let it go, forgive myself and move on. The headspace will fix itself if I focus on all the positive stuff and not allow myself to dwell on the stuff that is stressful. Today had its good moments: I filled in at my previous gym and really enjoyed my classes and burned 740 calories. I ate well today with only a small treat of a protein bar with a skim cappuccino for afternoon tea (better than a slice of cheesecake with a cappuccino). Otherwise my food was lean, clean and healthy. Now to do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next ....

Cheers folks

Magda

SO WHY HAVENT I BLOGGED FOR A FEW DAYS??

I'm navigating some rough seas at the moment and the ship is barely staying afloat.

On Wednesday I had an impromptu treat starting with a bit of a Xmas celebration after work (think wine, cheese, crackers etc) which then turned into dinner out (think more wine, salt and pepper calamari with the yummiest chips ever). However all was good with my headspace and I enjoyed this treat immensely.

The real problem came the next day. I allowed myself to get over-stressed at work and had a mini melt-down (in private) and resorted to the bad old habits that got me fat again and have kept me there. Yep I over-ate and let my headspace get very negative. Once my headspace is in such a bad place, there is no chance of taking positive action. Its just a big downward spiral.

Come Friday morning and I dont want to train but I force myself to get out for the scheduled walk/jog expecting that its just what I need to feel better. And was it?? It was JACK SHIT!! I felt just as bad at the end of it as I did before. There were no feel good endorphins racing through this body. More bad food choices. More of a downward spiral. More feeling like crap.

Luckily I had a breakthrough on the work front on Friday afternoon and there was a small silver lining to the dark clouds and the stress lifted somewhat. Today has been better but not as good as I had planned and as a result of this I still feel like I'm on shaky ground. Whilst I've had a few stumbles since working with Liz, this has been my first major setback and I'm finding it hard to deal with.

So on that note I'll wrap up this post, head off to bed and hopefully wake up feeing a whole lot better tomorrow. God knows I need to clock up a few really good days and work at getting my head back to its happy positive place.

G'night

Magda

I'M READY FOR "MAGDA'S SEXY BACK".

This morning there was a nice drop on the scales and I'm well on the way to achieveing my goal of being in the low 67s by Xmas. Mind you as Xmas draws closer there are more social gatherings to deal with and each one brings about its own challenges like:

Which ones do I drink at?
How much do I drink keeping in mind I have a 2 wines / week limit?
Do I eat there and if so what do I have?
How can I ensure that I arrive in a good headspace to give myself a fighting chance to stay on track?

I think the last point is the most important one. If I arrive in the right frame of mind then there's a good chance that I'll handle the occassion well and come out unscathed. But if my headspace is screwed (for whatever reason) then ..... yep the wheels could well and truly fall off. Its pretty obvious how I have to approach this.

Tomorrow morning I get to use my new squat rack/lat pulldwon/low pulley as I have a new "Magda's Sexy Back" program which is designed to deliver just that. How exciting!! I cant wait. I think I'll set my alarm a bit earlier just to make sure I have time do the program justice.

So on that note I better sign off and think about having an early night. The lurgy still has a hold on me but getting a decent night's sleep is my ammunition to kick it fast.

Cheers folks

Magda

I COULDNT HELP MYSELF ....

.... I ended up walking for an hour. It was so beautiful outside and it felt good to be moving and my nose was clear as I breathed in the fresh air. I have a favourite walk that takes me around not one but two lakes (albeit man-made ones, but water nevertheless) and its certainly longer than 30 minutes. I was enjoying being out and the hour just slipped by so quickly. Oh and lets not forget the added bonus of burning more than 400 cals.

We had a delicious dinner of tandoori chicken breasts that WH had webbered yesterday and I reheated it and it still tasted awesome. I also made a salad with cos lettuce and coriander from our garden. It was a lite and simple dinner but big big on flavour. WH had a glass of white wine, we ate in our outdoor room and it was a lovely dinner to start the week.

I'm trying to motivate myself to do a bit more work but I think an early night is calling in the hope that I can shake this lurgy.

Cheers all

Magda

CRUISING FOR A BIT

Yes I know, I should be working but have made serious inroads and am just cruising for a bit.

I had the luxury of a sleep-in today and woke up feeling even worse than I did on the weekend :-( This cold is worse than the others I've had recently and its making me a bit miserable. I'm not used to feeling less than 100% on the health front. A bit later this afternoon I plan to do my Postural Program and probably a half hour walk even though its a cardio off day. The weather is beautiful here and the fresh air and movement will do me good.

Things on the plumbing front are all good now and thats a relief. My drop on the scales was .6kgs for the last week but I'm hoping there is a slightly better drop tomorrow. My measurements hardly changed which is odd but that too has happened before.

I notice that Liz is off-line so there will be no anticipation around the new weekly program tonight. I'll just repeat last week's program with the required modifications and all will be good. My nutrition guidleines are all in place and they dont change weekly so I just keep doing what I'm doing and watch the fat slowly melt away. The trick will be staying in a positive headspace with this depressing cold.

Well back to the grind for me.

Cheers

Magda

BRUNCHING SNOTTING AND OTHER USELESS TRIVIA

The Adelaide Figure Girls and the beautiful Miss Katie (Spartze) from Melbourne had a lovely brunch catch-up today. The venue was The Store on Melbourne Street (one of my fave breakfast haunts) and we had a great time chatting about all things training, dieting, competing etc. Miss Jaime-Lee is looking very preggers and fantastic. Vivienne Krstic joined us today as did Danielle (who I didnt get a chance to chat with). The only problem ... no pics. I get talking and I forget all about it. Perhaps I should stop promising and just surprise you if they ever happen LOL.

I have turned into a veritable snot factory LOL. I have a headcold which started on Friday night and took hold on Saturday morning. I'm going through tissues like nobody's business. My eyes are quite sore and I've just finished 2 hours of work on the computer which I could well have done without. Oh and I have a pounding headache .. lucky me. Mind you I have continued to train by doing Friday's cardio yesterday (I had the option of a day off or lifestyle cardio) and doing my one hour cardio today. WH said "should you be doing that?" (referring to the walk I was about to set out on). To which I replied "I have a headcold. I'm not dying." and off I went. MEN!! I tell you, if he has a sniffle, all forms of exercise stop until he's well again. (Give me strength!!)

My system has been totally out of whack this last week due to the severe vomitting and diarrhea I had last Sunday. Talk about the plumbing ceasing up!! 7 days with no movement is a bit much (although with me its been known to happen before - just not often). Over the last couple of days I've had to dig deep into my bag of tricks to get the desired effect and its finally worked. (YIPPEE!!) I will weigh tomorrow but I'm not expecting a great result as I dont feel like everything is back on track just yet. Especially as there have been a couple of Dirty Diana meals in the quest for movement.

I have the luxury of working from home tomorrow so my challenge will be to stay focussed on work and off blogger and Lindy's forum. In all honesty I have a huge task that needs several hours devoted to it and my normal workday just wont allow it so I'm tackling it at home, sore eyes and all.

Well on that note I'm getting off the computer so that my eyes get a rest and I get a good night's sleep.

Hope your week gets off to a great start and I'll be back tomorrow (evening).

Cheers

Magda

LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT FOR ME

My squat rack / lat pulldown / low pulley arrived late last week and today WH assembled it. It took hours and my exercise room is now almost 100% perfect (albeit it a little untidy still). I had a quick play and it felt great. Its really solid and sturdy and will not buckle under some serious training. The red bench I already had and it complements it well. The 2 pieces together with the barbell(s) mean I now have so many more exercises I can do at home. Yippee!! This makes me very happy and takes considerable pressure off on a number of fronts.

So what else did today have in store for me?

I woke up with (another!!) cold. I've had 3 at least since I've been in my new job whereas normally I'd have 3 in 3 years. I must be a bit more run down than I realise but generally I feel ok until the lurgies hit and then I get headaches, runny noses and feel a bit miserable.

But its only a headcold so I did my rowing cardio this morning before heading out with my mum to help her do her Xmas shopping. We had lunch out and a dirty meal was on the agenda for a medical reason (I bet thats got you intrigued!!) so we enjoyed some pasta and a glass of wine while we caught up on all the goss about the extended family. Who died. Who got divorced. Who's not speaking to who and what my exH is up to (49 years of age and living with his mother since we split!!)

In the arvo I made a big lasagne as a treat for our Godson who we are babysitting tonight while his mum goes to her work Xmas dinner. Even though there's 6 years difference in their ages, he and BS play together really well. I also decorated the Xmas tree. Oh and BTW I didnt have lasagne for dinner. Kept mine lean and clean.

So I guess I'll wrap up there and not bore you further. Tomorrow the Adelaide Figure Girls + some newbies and the lovely Miss Katie from Melbourne are brunching for our regular monthly catch up. I cant wait and will try to remember to take some pics and post them up.

Cheers all

Magda

SURVIVING THE FRIDAY BATTLE

So whats the Friday Battle? Its otherwise known as "endofweekitis". You know, that time when your resolve starts to weaken, you start to dream about that indulgence you soooo deserve or the training that you just have to find some excuse to NOT do.

Here's a bit of a snapshot of my day.

After working late last night I intended to have a sleep-in til 6am today. Done, and the little bit of extra sleep was much needed and I felt better for it. However, that meant no training this morning.

Work: was go go go again. There was a small indulgence of a stolen Cookie Man poppyseed cookie. Let me explain ... I didnt steal it, my Director did. In fact she stole a handfull of biscuits from another meeting room and gleefully brought them into our meeting for us to have. I'm sure that calories consumed in the name of comedy (or crime) dont count ... do they??

On the way home was when the battle started. It went like this:

Gee I really dont feel like training (WH was out to a work Xmas function so I had the opportunity to train).

You know you should. Dont slacken off.

But I'm tired and I just want to veg out.

You'll feel better after you've done it. You know you will.

Gee I'd love take-away chicken with chips and coleslaw for dinner.

No you wouldnt. You'll feel awful after.

Yes I would. It would be sooooo delicious.

And then you'll have to report it to Liz, see the scales go up and deal with the negative feelings that follow. Its not worth it.

It didnt end there. When I got home I asked BS if he'd like to eat his dinner with me so we could talk and eat together (another excuse to NOT train!!). Now usually on a Friday he's allowed to eat at the little table in front of the TV while WH and I have a drink and share a relaxed meal together. And thats what he wanted to do despite me trying hard to convince him otherwise. The conversation ended like this:

Me: "Well if we're not eating together then I'm going to do my exercises"
BS: " Mummy you do your exercises because they're good for you".

Try argueing with that logic. So to end the story I went and did my training and then ate my homemade stir fried veg with lime/chilli chicken and we all lived happily ever after.

THE END

Magda

A GRRRR DAY

Well last night I didnt know what to post about and tonight I have no time. I've been working for the last 2+ hours and I'm buggered and need to sleep.

I had a bit of a GRRRR day today. Just a LOT going on and not enough hours in the work day. Well actually there would be if half the people who come to annoy me with useless cr*p just took it elsewhere. There!! Problem solved.

Thank God for the love of my training and the strength to stay focussed and committed to eating lean, clean and healthy. Oh and for the mainly fantastic people that I work with. Its great to know that when I'm at the end of my tether there is some-one there who I can share a laugh with or have a quiet gripe to or just lean on for some support.

Now lets get Friday over and done with so I can enjoy the weekend.

Good night all

Magda

PS I'll catch up with blogs tomorrow

A POST ABOUT NOTHING

My blog is getting boring and repetitive as its very much "all is good" and "wow look at my progress". I guess its better than wallowing in the dumps coz nothing seems to be going right.

Maybe I'll spice it up with a picture .....

.... and maybe I wont.

Or some ground-breaking news ....

....... hmmm I dont have any.

What about ....... ????

Geez I'm really stuck tonight so I'll just go and get my fill of other blogs and have another early night. I caught up with Monday's missed training yesterday so tomorrow is just cardio and I can get up at 5 instead of 4.45. Wow a sleep in!!

Cheers folks

Magda

JUMPING INTO DECEMBER

Motivation is riding high and that means its even easier to stick to my training program and nutrition guidelines and maintain a good headspace.

I went to bed really early last night as sleep was lacking over the weekend. Felt refreshed this morning and was out before 5am to do 45 minutes of brisk walking with 10 x 30 second jogging intervals thrown into the equation. It felt good to run again albeit briefly and not intensely. Then back home I tackled the majority of my Postural Program that I missed doing yesterday.

BS is under the weather so I have been home with him and seeing as he's just been veging on the sofa I've tackled the dreaded spring cleaning jobs. I HATE CLEANING!!!! And I'm over it and there is till so much more to do. GRRRRR

But being home has meant that I could finish my PP during the day and can enjoy a free evening. Food has been good and I've been happily eating left-over turkey from Saturday night. Its so yummy that I'm looking forward to having more at Christmas.

Well I'm off to do something enjoyable as a reward after my hard work. Its snack time and there is a DietLite yogurt beckoning. I might even treat myself to a Diet Coke. Then I'm going to sort out my Training Folder. I bought a new folder to keep all my training information in and I havent touched it since I've been with Liz. Its time to set it up and get it into order so that I have a record of the journey I'm on.

Cheers all

Magda

ASSESSING NOVEMBER

I've now completed a month of training with Liz and I thought it would be a good time to assess my progress. Not just with numbers and stats though but with all aspects of getting lean, fit and toned.


The numbers and stats have been great. I started at 76.3kgs on 1 November and on 1 December I weighed in at 69.7kgs. Yep thats 6.6kgs off. My measurements went down as follows:


Bust 5cms

Waist 6cms

Hips 5.5cms

Thighs 3.5 and 3cms


My fugly jeans are looking even worse on me (which is good) but the smaller jeans are still too small. I'm starting to get back into some of my medium sized clothes and I like that.


Training wise I've had the challenge of trying to correct some significant postural imbalances. So my focus has been on activating glutes, stretching many over-tight muscles, and building some strength in my weaker areas. Many trainers would have had me launch straight into the serious weights but Liz assessed my posture and designed my program to get things right before we go into the heavier stuff. She knows her stuff and I'm lucky to have her coaching me or indeed I could end up injured or with worse issues than I have now.


Cardio has been "kind". Starting at a heavier weight and with some knee problems identified, I've had the luxury of mainly walking for cardio. I'm sure this will pick up down the track but I've grown to love my walks in the early morning where as previously I found them boring.


Food is always my biggest challenge but the guidelines Liz had me following were easy to maintain and I was overall successful with them. When I did fall off the wagon with a bit of a blow-out I was able to contain it to one day and that in itself is an achievement for me. We also worked together to devise strategies to avoid this happening in future and I'm determined to make December even more successful on the food front.


Finally my head space has been really good and this is by far the most important thing. Over this last year I can honestly say that there were many times when I just didnt care and trying to get back on track was just too hard. I had written myself off and of that I'm NOT proud. But now I try hard to think positively and I choose to be a happier, more balanced person. Even when things could potentially drag me down I dont let them beat me and I stay in control.

So a month is down but there is still a long way to go. Yet when the journey is enjoyable and rewarding, it doesnt seem like a chore at all.

My next mini goal is to be sub 67.5 by Christmas which would be the best present I could give myself.

:-) Magda

HELLO SUB 70

I'm home today after an awful ending to a great weekend. Let me pick up where I left off.

I had a really poor night's sleep on Friday as I woke up too early on Saturday. On the upside I headed out for an hour's walk and enjoyed it immensely so the day was off to a good start then. Thanksgiving dinner was excellent. For starters my SIL brought some herbed and spiced nuts and brie which we melted in the oven and served with homemade chutney and water crackers. I had a tiny taste of each. Our roast turkey was superb. After some trepidation people got stuck into and enjoyed the candied sweet potato (I passed on that sugar and fat laden option). I also made beans and asparagus with a little butter and toasted almonds. Yummo. Well the trepidation around the candied sweet potatao was no match for the trepidation around the pumpkin pie. My best friend's husband (who is Italian) said jokingly "What, are you serving it with icecream?" To which I seriously replied "yes, and/or cream". Well he ate his words and the pumpkin pie and he along with everyone else loved it. The last of our guests went home at 12.15am and I got to bed at 1 feeling like I was going to die from tiredness.

Yesterday was a busy day taking BS to a birthday party in the morning and following it up with a BBQ lunch with friends. Here's where I fell down a bit. Whilst I didnt arrive hungry, the fact that lunch was served after 4pm was a challenge that beat me. Place a round of fruit cheese and crackers out and dont offer me a meal for several hours and there's only one thing that can happen. Yep you guessed it .... that and kabana, more cheese, crackers, some chips etc. I have room to improve when it comes to managing snack foods if I'm not controlling the meal timing.

So what was the awful ending to the weekend??

Last night I had the worst case of gastro that I can remember for a long time. After desparately needing a good night's sleep, I was awake hourly until 2am and was then woken up by BS at 5. I had no intention of training but I couldnt get back to sleep. Hence I'm home today just taking a bit of recovery time and seeing how eating goes. So far I'm ok.

But as they say, every cloud has a silver lining and mine is that this morning I cracked the sub 70 and am now 69.7kgs. I had been secretly hoping that I'd make the sub 70 in November (I was 70.1kgs yesterday) and I've virtually made that rather ambitious goal. Add to this that yesterday I wore my (generous) size 10 white capri pants AND LOOKED GOOD IN THEM and I'm in a pretty happy place.

Signing off for now guys

Magda

WE'VE BEEN SHOPPING

My WH loves to scour the internet and often visits Grays on Line to see what goodies are on offer. Well look what he came across a couple of nights ago. He knows that I dont have everything I need to train at home and how difficult it is to juggle gym time along with full-time work a young child and a home to run. Things can and do get very hectic when you add comp prep (down the track) and everything it entails, to an already busy schedule. So we've chatted about what extra equipment I need and there has been lots of stuff that I've looked at and have discounted for whatever reason. But this is almost perfect.

With the lat pulldown and the low pulley I can now do some effective back training. Plus having the rack means I can load a barbell up heavier for squats and not have to haul it over my head (and hope for the best). I'm just about 100% set up now to NOT have to go to the gym and that will make life easier for me.

Mind you this situation brings other challenges like having to do all my training alone (unless I can rope WH in as my spotter which I've warned him he will have to do). So I have to be self focussed and committed to giving each and every training session my best effort. But I did it last year (with 1 gym session / week) and I'm sure I can apply myself again. If I dont, I'm sure Liz will have something to say and it wont be good LOL!!

On a final note, I've finished the week on a really good note. I went to my work Xmas party this evening and drank a Diet Coke and a bottle of water. I didnt nibble or snack on anything while I was there. My attendance was quite brief as I had a lot to do to get organised for tomorrow's dinner so I happily left early, made myself a lean and clean dinner at home and then got stuck into roasting pumpkin and making stuffing. I didnt feel deprived or that I was missing out on anything. It was totally my choice to do this.

Bring on the weekend!! And I hope you all have a good one too.

Cheers

Magda

MMMMM PUMPKIN PIE

Have you ever had pumpkin pie?? I work in a small, tight knit unit and one of my colleagues is American. Well, it being Thanksgiving today or tomorrow she brought a pumpkin pie to work for us to share. She is a genuinely lovely young lady and this was a very thoughtful gesture. I felt wrong saying no to it and so I indulged in a very thin slice (sans double cream!!). Our Director shouted us all a nice coffee so I had my usual skim cappuccino and really enjoyed this very special morning tea. But the best bit was that I wasnt tempted to eat off plan after that. I had my small piece of cake. I enjoyed it. Then the rest of my food was 100% on plan. This is how life should be (every now and then)!!

BTW on Saturday night we are having our friends over for a full Thanksgiving dinner and I'll make my own pumpkin pie but I wont hurt my feelings if I dont have any LOL.

As the end of the week draws near I get really tired from the early morning starts and I look forward to my Friday morning pseudo sleep-in. Well there wont be one tomorrow as I have training to do in order to earn my weekend treats. I'll need to be up before 5am to fit in both cardio and my "Postural Program" but when they're done I'll feel great knowing that no training was scrimped on and those potential indulgences have been earned.

I have some other stuff to blog but need to use the other computer with email on it and WH is busy preparing presentations for work tomorrow (poor bugger). So my other stuff will have to wait.

G'night folks

Magda