After I made my post last night I caught up on other blogs and found this very wise bit of advice from Rae to Lia. It was in response to Lia’s negative vent over her elimination diet and whilst my current situation is a bit different there was a clear message that was very appropriate to me as well.
Here’s what I took from Rae’s comment:
Make the choice for what it is you want to do. (In my case it comes down to whether I see myself as an ongoing Figure Competitor or whether I’ll cave to pressures around me and not pursue it).
Once you’ve made the choice, success comes from focus and commitment. (Yep its that simple. I have all the tools I need to succeed. They are all in the garage, now I just have to get out there and use them – thanks for that great saying Donna).
Remember: Anything worth having or achieving has a price.
We have to decide if we are willing to pay that price.
I lay awake for a long time last night pondering over my history, actions and thoughts. I’ll share some of these with you as I know that some of you will relate to what I’m saying.
My history is not good but I cant change it. I can only use it to learn from and move forwards in a more positive way. On the up-side I started doing that this year when I achieved my goal of competing. Now I need to build on that and keep moving forward, one day at a time, one meal at a time if need be.
My actions have been very destructive last week. Right now I’m having major problems with some “occasional / red-light / trigger” foods. Its sort of like emotional eating but I’m not even sure what emotions are associated with them. I just know that with these foods its very much a case of “one bite is too much and a thousand are not enough”. (That’s a Lizism and I love it). I may not always be this way but I’m very vulnerable right now so I’ve decided to avoid these foods all together until I feel stronger and more in control.
My thoughts have been in quite a negative place too and this is undermining me no end. You know when you convince yourself that you cant do something and in doing so you guarantee failure. Couple that with a good healthy dose of “Its ok, I’ll diet tomorrow” and other self defeating excuses and I’ve been firmly entrenched on the path leading back to the “Fat Magda”.
So I guess its time to face up to these issues and make a plan to move forward.
Step One: I have decided that I want to be within 5kgs of my comp weight during the “off-season”. That’s a limit of 60kgs. This will put me in a good position to prepare for a comp next year IF I DECIDE TO COMPETE AGAIN.
Step Two: Work out my broad 12 week training and nutrition plan. Commence another Training Journal and keep it up to date.
Step Three: Get the mind stuff sorted out. Acknowledge whats working and whats not, reflect, soul search and don’t give up til I get it right.
If you’re still reading this then I say a big thank you. It’s a bit of a “heart on my sleeve” post again but I find it helps me to sort out where I’m at and where I want to be going.
Cheers all
Magda
3 comments:
You and I are a lot alike Magda. Together we can over come our many challenges and be all that we are meant to be. One meal at a time one day at a time. We can do this! :o) xx
Hi Magda, glad you are in a better head space today. Cheers, Charlotte
I am very happy to hear that my advice to Lia also helped you Magda. I was going to suggest avoiding your trigger foods, but realised you had already decided to do that. Sorry, this comment has ended up being such a long one!!
My trigger foods were cashews, dates and dark chocolate. I never brought them and kept them on hand. If I wanted some, I would go to where I could buy a small amount (a handful), walk out of the store, go home, sit down in total silence with no distractions, eat them slowly and savour them.
Doint that helped me get to a point where I could be satisfied with a small amount. I can now have a huge jar of cashews, one of dates and a supply of dark chocolate on hand and it doesn't even get touched during comp prep, and if I am not in comp prep, they are certainly not "everyday foods" for me.
You just need to keep working on your willpower and strength with food. Your willpower is just the same as any muscle in your body... it needs to be exercised and strengthened.
You worked so damn hard to achieve your comp physique. You deserve to keep that body more than your body deserves to be fed treats and fattened up. If you can't treat yourself in moderation yet, then you may need to go cold turkey.
The longer you live a nutritionally sound lifestyle, the easier it gets. Where I used to crave chocolate when dieting down for comp, now someone can eat it in front of me while I am in the midst of comp prep and I don't bat an eyelid. However, if they crunch into a crispy apple after fruit has been taken out of my diet my mouth starts watering like Pavlov's dog at the sound of the bell!!
When I went out for dinner, I would go for the stodgiest, creamiest pasta dish on the menu. Now I cannot remember the last time I ate a creamy pasta dish as I always crave and desire a crunchy salad over it on a menu... especially if it's Thai Beef or a seafood one!! I ate McDonalds last about 4 years ago and won't set foot in one of their "restaurants"... and it's been even longer since I've had KFC. If I want a burger, I will make one at home with a cape seed roll, lean homemade beef burgers, low fat cheese and salad. I made one for my family in Melbourne when I stayed there and after they'd eaten it and raved about it I said "And THAT is the reason I won't eat McDonalds!!"
The longer you keep trying to eat clean, the easier it will get because your body will adapt to it and your tastes will change. You will get to a point where there is no way you will waste calories on crappy food. If I am going to eat excess calories, you can be damn sure they are going to be in the form of expensive dark chocolate, a delicious cafe/restaurant meal, etc. Never fast food!!
The trick is to be prepared... make your lunches up on the weekend, carry cans of tuna and a spoon around with you, even if you have a protein bar in your bag all the time. If you have a healthy choice on hand, then you are more likely not to be lead off the rails by temptation. But hey, if you decide to be tempted, at least it is a concious choice.
It gets to a point where you don't think about it much anymore. It is just second nature to me now to prepare my lunches on the weekend and prepare my breakfast the night before. It has been included as a substantial part of my day to day life as a priority and it's not a chore anymore. It's just something I do in order to keep the body I've worked extremely hard for.
I hope you can get through this time. It took years to create the bad habits we are trying to overcome, so they will not be fixed overnight. The only thing that matters is that you keep trying to overcome them. Trust me hon, it DOES get easier xxx
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