Tuesday, May 20, 2008


On a personal level life hasn’t been so good for me lately. I am battling lots of negative feelings, beliefs and actions. The mind games that play out in my head daily are really dragging me down and then I suffer with more than usual back pain, leg pain and headaches.

I realise that I’m now in a phase where I cant afford to eat “off plan”. No matter how minor or innocent an indulgence or splurge may be, it ALWAYS turns into a binge and so every 2 steps forward is followed up with 2 or 3 steps back.

I knew I had to do something but what? If the answers are inside me they’re buried very deep and I haven’t found them yet. I remember a time when prepping for comp last year that I felt so desperate and hopeless. Back then I got out my copy of Fatitude by Craig Harper and re-read some very relevant chapters. It was just the (proverbial) slap-in-the-face I needed to jolt me out of that bad state.

So I have started reading Fatitude again as I love its no-nonsense, tough love approach. I am guilty of lots of the negative thoughts and beliefs which Craig writes about but I’m making an effort to turn them around. I’ll be a work in progress for some time I think.

Then just to put things into perspective I read this in Craig’s post on Monday 19th May and it rung very true.


* Over the last two weeks I have watched with both interest and despair the enormous human tragedy unfolding in Burma and China in the wake of their respective natural disasters. Watching a broadcast last night brought a tear to my eye; a mother draped over her lifeless child, wailing in uncontrollable emotional pain and looking to the sky in absolute despair. Humanity at it's rawest. As the camera drew back from the woman and panned across the landscape, the magnitude of the devastation and suffering became apparent. At that moment sitting there on my comfortable couch, in my comfortable house I truly became aware that I have no real problems. And that if I can get out of my own way, stop sabotaging myself and do good despite my (numerous) issues, then maybe I can be part of the change in the world that Gandhi spoke of.

While we all have our individual challenges, the truth is that you and I are privileged and have much to celebrate. Even though we might not always feel like it. If you're using a computer now, then you're rich compared to the majority of our six billion brothers and sisters. If you have food, shelter and education then you're in the global minority.

If we want to find our way back to misery we can.

I choose not.

Go Craig!!!

:-) Magda


Hilds said...

Hi Magda, Stay positive! At least you can see what you need to change and are actively working towards it. Keep reading that book, it's fantastic and remember not to be too hard on yourself. Small steps.....

Keep smiling!


Doris's New Beginning! said...

Hey Madga

Don't know if this helps you, but you are one of the inspirational blogs I log onto everyday to read to help me with my mental issues about being overweight and helps me stay focused or at least try to. Thank you


Magda said...

Hello Hilds,

thanks for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment. Yep small steps it is for me right now.

Hi Doris,

thank you for that lovely compliment. I think many of us struggle with mental issues so I put mine out there and I find it helps me get beyond them. Check out today's post for instance.



Lisa said...

Good luck Magda!

Magda said...

Thanks Lisa,

I've emailed you separately. Things havent turned out as I'd have liked but I'm going with the flow.

:-) Magda