Thursday, May 08, 2008

INTERLUDE WITH THE DIGITAL DEVIL

This morning my Digital Devil (thanks Katie) rewarded my week of clean eating and hard, consistent training with a ½ kilo increase in weight. My body fat % took a nice dive but I don’t place much accuracy on that number as there are many factors that can have a significant effect on it.

When I look back over my long, chequered history of weight loss and gain, loss and gain etc, this pattern has always been ingrained. It goes like this:
Week 1 of trying to lose weight: Great loss (mostly water weight etc)
Week 2: Still a good loss (some fat, some water)
Week 3: No loss and sometimes a small gain
Week 4: Spit the dummy. Chuck it all in. Eat whatever I want in large quantities. Feel sorry for myself. Drown myself in negative self-talk. Make sure I’m well and truly in the downward spiral and gain back all the weight I lost and add a little bit more just for good luck.
Week 5 or 6 or 7: Trying again to lose weight. Great loss etc etc.
The cycle begins again.

Of course there have been times when I got over the 3 week hurdle but even then its always been a stumbling point. And this time is no different except I know that I haven’t actually gained body fat as such. I don’t know why I’m up ½ kilo. I don’t NEED to know why as it wont make a difference but what will make a difference is how I handle the next few days.

I have a plan in place including a day of more relaxed eating on Mothers Day and I wont give that up. Life is too short to say to my boy “I’m sorry darling but mummy cant eat the toast you’ve made me for breakfast because I’m dieting.” Nor will I make a fuss over the dinner my WH is cooking for our family (including my parents) that evening. Enjoying the day with my family is more important than doing whatever it takes to lose weight.

Is this progress or a guaranteed recipe for failure?

Cheers all

Magda

5 comments:

Combat Girl said...

I think we all have our own answers to your question Magda. First off it depends what your goals are. For the mother who is competing that slice of toast may have to be missed, however, for someone like you and I who are making changes to our lifestyle, then that slice of toast won't be the end of our goals.

I think you are doing great. I do have one question to throw at you. How would you feel if you did not weigh yourself for a month and just let the mirror and your clothes tell you how your body is reacting to your new lifestyle?

I know that when I used to get all caught up with the scales, (before I understood that there were many factors affecting that one number) I used to put it away for months and just let my body do what It was doing. When i was in control of my mind again i would bring it out and use it periodically. I try not to live by the scales because its only a number. This is proven to me weekly as you well know from my blog.

Take care and keep on doing your best daily. That is all you can ask of yourself.

RaeC said...

Hi sweetheart,

I think you are doing great and having a day off on Mother's Day won't hurt... IF it is only Mother's Day.

From what you wrote about your pattern, when you spit the dummy and eat whatever you want it's not just for a meal or a day and you reign it back in, but for a much longer period.

Eating clean doesn't mean giving up everything, it does mean eating clean most of the time and still being able to have treats. It's the eating with abandon for days at a time that is doing the damage to not only your body, but your mindset and how you feel about yourself.

I think you need to get to the root of the problem and try to work out why you don't think you deserve to live the life you want and have the body you crave. From where I sit... you do deserve all the good things you can handle and hope you can also realise this about yourself soon.

Have a great Mother's Day hon xxx

Antigone said...

Hi Hun,
I think scales suck, but they don't tell you what type of person you and they don't tell you just how well you have done that week!
Our bodies are made for storing fat something to do with the caveman era, our bodies are reluctant to lose fat just incase we may need it one day.

You are doing a great job hun hang in there :)
Em:)

LizN said...

Dear Magda,
Scales are just a piece of metal and have no emotion whatsoever and could care less what you think about them or what you do about them.
Weighing yourself once a week is pointless - you have no idea of the natural wax and wane of things -some days you're up (despite eating well) and some days you're down. Either use them to your advantage or don't use them.
Ask yourself - did I eat well? Did I train? If you are 90% compliant with eating well, where is the logic in beating yourself up over a natural fluctuation?

Magda said...

I've found it very hard to put the scales away and trust me and my body CG. Mind you, its probably a good thing to be working towards.

Hi Rae,

thanks for dropping by when I know you are so busy. I'm taking some new steps to help me conquer my eating issues. Stay tuned.

Thanks Em. Yep hanging in there but also ready to take some positive action. Your email was very helpful :-)

Yes Liz I think the scales have (wrongly) ruined many a day for me. I'm getting better at handling them but still have a way to go. Not sure if I can give them up completely though so working on managing them better sounds like a better goal for me.

Cheers all

Magda