Monday, March 24, 2008

TO COMPETE OR NOT COMPETE - THAT IS THE QUESTION

Despite the massive sleep yesterday I still feel awful today. This is unusual for me as I generally have an iron constitution and rarely get sick and then its usually just mild and I bounce back quickly. Whilst I'm not seriously sick the fact that its dragging on (about a week now) is annoying and admittedly a bit depressing.

OK enough whinging coz I actually need to vent other stuff that I've been mulling over and over this month......to compete or not compete this year. I've given myself til the end of March to decide once and for all.

Here's what's been going through my head:

FACTS:

  • WNBF SA show is on Sunday 21 September. Its 26 weeks from yesterday (thats 6 months).
  • I need to lose at least 15kgs to match last year's comp weight. (Ideally I'd like to compete 1 kg lighter but carry more muscle especially in my hammies and glutes.)
  • Our financial priorities are such that I have a limited budget for this year's comp season if I choose to compete and if I still want some form of life in the meantime.
  • WH will support my decision but once again I cannot rely on him for motivation, inspiration or much else. I DO believe though that he will accept what I need to do and that is all I can ask really and I'm ok with that.
  • I have a personal longer term comp goal that is pulling me forwards (albeit it in fits and starts)

POSITIVE FEELINGS:

  • When I stepped off the stage at the end of both the Adelaide and Sydney Championship shows last year I was on a mega high and couldnt wait to do it all again. I truly believed that I had finally found a sport that I loved and could be good at.
  • I actually like the discipline of this sport. Its tough for sure and there are times when I just DONT want to do it but achieveing the goal of stepping up on stage in the best condition of your life is rewarding beyond words.
  • Very deep down I do believe that once I put my mind to it I can do it. I proved it last year against LOTS of adversity so I know I have it in me.

NEGATIVE FEELINGS:

  • OMG How could I let myself put on THIS much weight in the off-season? How hard will it be to diet it all off again? Why have I made it SO hard for myself?
  • What f I just cant get it all together? What if I keep having stuff ups and dont progress at the rate I need to?
  • Can I make it without a trainer/coach to give me encouragement, feedback, a kick in the bum or a pat on tha back?
  • What if I fail?

I guess many other competitors have gone through this same dilemma and maybe even more than once? I dont think I'm alone but I feel like I am right now.

Your comments, thoughts, suggestions, warnings or encouragement will all be welcome.

Cheers

Magda

9 comments:

little rene said...

It sounds like you have really thought this through thoroughly Magda. You seem to have covered all of the pros and cons and been really honest with yourself about this problem.

That said I don't really think that I can help you :(

It seems like it is a decision that you alone have to make and I am confident that you will decide what is right for you :)

Just keep talking/blogging about it and I am sure that you will work it out. There is always next year if this year doesn't work out.

Kristy said...

Thanks Magda for your comment and I love the quote you left by Liz. That is so true as I found last year. I've read a few blogs and they are losing weight by only working out 3 times a week (and I keep thinking I need to train 6 times at least) so my excuse that I can't lose weight is crap... Thanks again Magda and I wish you all the best in your decisions.

Lia Halsall said...

This post sounds all to familiar. Have you been in my head lately Magda. LOL!! Only kidding. ;o)

This decision is for you to make and you alone. No-one else can make your mind up for you so best you get your thinking cap on girl and sort it out once and for all.

If you want my honest opinion and I mean brutally honest opinion. Pull your head out of the sand and make the committment. Every day that you're thinking about it you're wasting valuable time that you could've spent on your competition preparation.

No more mr nice guy we have to get tough with ourselves and with each other at times like Magda. I know you can do this, you know you can do this so why aren't you doing it? That is the question you should be asking yourself right at this very moment.

Well that's my two cents for what it's worth. I told you I'd be brutally honest and hope that I haven't offended you to much as it's far from my intention.

Biggest hugs.

Lia xx

Cat said...

It's a tough one to decide, but i say go with your gut feeling and have no regrets.

Shar said...

Magda
Went through this myself earlier in the year. Should I wait til October, should I do July, made excuses, pro and cons for both, but you know what deep down I knew what I wanted to do.
I had been training hard even though my food hadn't been on track and I knew I needed to get on with it and decide.
If 6 weeks out or 1 day out I know I will not get up there in what 'I' think is better condition than last year then so be it, at least I have tried.
As soon as I decided, It felt right for me.
I beleive you probably know what you want to do, perhaps your just scared to make the decision one way or the other?
Make it your decision, no-one will judge you either way.
Good luck
Shar x

Kristy said...

Magda, you mentioned that you are reading "Taming the Feast Beast" (on Stacy's blog). This sounds interesting. Did you buy off Amazon and can you give a little overview?

Thanks
Kristy

Raechelle said...

Hope your felling better!
As far as the decision goes-I guess nobody can know but you-and you have covered many points in thinking it through-so I'm sure the decision will come soon!
Good luck!

Magda said...

Rene, I've been stewing over this for ages. Its time to stop stewing and decide.

Kristy, I'll post my critique of the book when I finish it. I have 1or 2 short chapters to go.

Thanks Raechelle. The cold lurgie is STILL with me GRRRRR. Hoping to kick it soon though.

Cat, I've done that. I've followed my gut feeling.

Lia I think thats just the (proverbial) slap in the face that I needed. THANK YOU (and I mean that honestly).

Shar deep down I know what I want to do too. But I'm afraid of failing and so I've stuck my head in the sand. I like your take on things though. If indeed I'm not happy with where I'm at I can withdraw and know that at least I tried. Thanks for that.

Magda

Lia Halsall said...

I've never had anyone thank me for a proverbial slap so thanks. LOL!! You and mare are a lot alike in that sometimes we just need it put straight without the sugar coating. I'm glad it's what you needed. I'll be watching you very closely from now on so if you need support I'll be right there. ;o) xx