PASSION

Passion (from the Latin verb patior, meaning to suffer or to endure, also related to compatible) is an emotion applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something. The term is also often applied to a lively or eager interest in or admiration for a proposal, cause, or activity or love.

I love the word "passion" and all that it conjers up. If you have passion you have enthusiasm, drive and a genuine love that is not false. When people are passionate about something you can see it in their eyes, hear it in their voice and feel it eminating from them. Its positive energy and it breeds more positive actions and feelings.

I'm passionate about living a healthy balanced life. I'm passionate about eating good food thats nutritious, tastes great and is good for me. I'm passionate about enjoying treats in moderation so that life is enjoyed and not lived as a string of denials and deprivation. I'm passionate about running and weight training and how great both make me feel. I'm passionate about taking good care of myself physically and mentally. I havent discovered spirituality. There are many more things I'm passionate about.

But sadly there are things that I'm just NOT passionate about and despite telling myself that its all good and how good I've got it and how lucky I am, I'm just not fooling myself. Makes THAT aspect of my life difficult.

So deep down I know I'm capable of so much more. My journey is still in its early phases. There is still a long way to go and my route hasnt been mapped out. But without this passion in another slice of my life's pie I find I'm stumbling along. Taking some steps forward and then falling over again. I want to get up and run. I need to get up and run but I keep tripping over my own feet and falling down.

The solution is out there or maybe its in me. Time to go and take a long hard look.

M

A NEW PLAN AND GOING WITH THE FLOW

This pic was taken about a month ago on a freezing cold Sunday at the zoo. Hence the (skinny) jeans, boots and fur lined jacket. LOL. A month later and whilst its not freezing cold, its certainly not hot like its been for some time now.

Well another weekend has whizzed by in the blink of an eye. This one was unusual in that the weather has turned back to cool and rainy throwing some of our original plans into disarray. We were planning to go the Symphony Under the Stars concert on Saturday night but it was cancelled due to persistent rain. So we just went to our local cafe for dinner and then came home. I spent the rest of the evening ironing :-(

Today I took my son to a birthday party which I enjoyed as much as him. I love catching up with the other mums and dads. Not much else today.

I'm changing my training routine again. Not by want but by need. We have noticed that on days when I train using weights, our son wakes up too early from the noise which is unavoidable. I feel sorry for him when he's obviously quite tired from the early starts. So my new plan is this:

Saturday: lower body + abs + cardio if time permits

Sunday: upper body + cardio if time permits

Monday: 1 hour jog.

Tuesday: 1 hour walk/jog or jog again (if feeling ok) - I like to do two longer sessions at the start of the week.

Wednesday: upper body - modified session with DBs on back lawn + abs

Thursday: 40 minute jog/run

Friday: 30 minute sprint intervals

Plus I have 2 days a week where I walk to/from work at 35-40 minutes each way.

The following week my son finishes school and the schedule will change again. I dont even know why I plan a schedule sometimes. I'm coming into a period of "just going with the flow" by the looks of it. Maybe my new goal will be "just get it done".

Cheers all

Magda

JUST SLAP ME .....

.... the next time I complain about my job. I had the most awesome day today and felt ashamed of my recent pathetic attitude about work. Today really confirmed that I have a great job.

In our small team is a lovely American woman whom I shall call Miss M. Today Miss M organised for our small team to visit one of our most magnificent assets with a fascinating history, magnificent grounds and a majestic historical residence. We arrived at 10.30 to be greeted with real coffee from the on-site coffee shop, home made rock cakes and a magnificent apple tart. Yes morning tea was delicious. Then the Director of this "estate" took us on a guided tour of the grounds and building. Along the way he entertained us with many stories about the history of the place, how it operates now and what the future aspirations are. This is all valuable information that helps us do our jobs better and its just bloody fascinating anyway.

After the tour we bought lunch from the coffee shop and dined in their marquee overlooking the magnificent gardens with views of Adelaide in the distance. Miss M reminded us that today is Thanksgiving and she explained the intent of the day (no presents, its a family day of eating together and giving thanks). Then we all spoke about what we were thankful for before having our meal. Hearing what everybody said and echoing their positive words about our great team and workplace, I came away with a very warm and fuzzy feeling and a turned around glass half full perspective on the whole work thing.

Then to put some icing on the cake for us all, Miss M provided pumpkin pie for afternoon tea for everybody back at the office. I wasnt going to have any but when I thought of the significance of it and what it meant to her, I couldnt be that selfish to refuse it. So afternoon tea was delicious too :-)

I'm so thankful that I was given the opportunity to work in such a great place with great people. I'm thankful that I have a wonderful family, fantastic friends and a charmed life. I'm thankful for my health and my family's health and for every risk I've taken and opportunity I've grabbed to live my life so that I dont die wondering "what if?"

What are you thankful for?

M

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG

Today was awesome. Maybe it was the jog/run this morning that managed to turn my shitty mood from yesterday into a happy and positive one today. Maybe it was the walk to work. Maybe it was just me reminding me that on some days it'll take a conscious effort to be happy until happiness overrules anyway. Today was that day.

I'm counting down 16 more days before I'm on Christmas holidays. I cant wait. I'm sad to admit that my enthusiasm for work is lacking at the moment. Sometimes it takes a big effort to stay focussed and tackle the jobs that you dread. Of course those times dont help with my general disposition. Bring on that holiday!!

On my walk home this afternoon I was pondering the questions of to blog, or not to blog and if so what to blog. I find my blog is really repetitive and quite frankly boring. I need some inspiration to blog about interesting things, thought provoking things, things to challenge our minds. I've always had an interest in and passion for writing but it feels dead right now. Oh how to breathe some life back into it?

Magda

YESTERDAY'S POST

This is yesterday's post that I just couldnt get onto Blogegr for a variety of annoying reasons.

I’ll make no secret of it, but I’m struggling doing leg training on top of my running. I’ve modified my program so it’s shorter and includes the “leg must dos” and ditches the rest. So I’m doing stiff legged deadlifts, split squats and squats with a plate(s) as space is an issue with the barbell on my shoulders. That’s also a nice mix of love/hate exercises and for me; it’s an effective mix. So why do I do it? Vanity baby. Vanity. My thighs are definitely my worst feature and whilst I know I should love them unconditionally, I’d like them to look better so that means putting in some extra effort. Oh and yes the focus is mainly on hammies and glutes, which need the most work. Last week I suffered through every minute of my leg session so I approached it with a mild dread this morning. Luckily today’s session was much better and I was quite elated at the end of it. Love it when that feeling takes over.

I’m also toying around with a slightly different diet (meaning the food I consume and not a regimented and restricted plan). For a few years now I’ve had the high protein, low-moderate carbs and moderate fat way of eating hardwired as the way to eat to get lean and stay lean. I would strive for this daily almost being anal about not eating starchy carbs at lunchtime and heaven forbid having them with my evening meal. They were banned!!

But I’m slowly letting go of my vision of myself as a figure athlete who needs to eat in this way. I no longer train with weights 4 or 5 times a week where my goal is to put on muscle. I train with weights to maintain muscle tone and what little strength I have. Don’t get me wrong. I still lift what’s heavy for me (no pissy little 1 or 2 kg dumbbells for me – I’m hurting by the end of each set) but some muscle groups get as little as one exercise / session and that suits me just fine now.

What I am developing though is a vision of myself as a runner (with a lean and toned upper body) and runners need more carbs for fuel. So slowly I’ve been adding some (mainly good) carbs back into my diet and I must say “YUMMO”. I’m also decreasing my meat intake and experimenting with vegetarian meals that still provide protein through correct food combining. This week I’ve enjoyed home made hummus with tabbouli and felafels in a wholemeal wrap for lunch. Its all good clean food that I’ve made myself and I’m really enjoying this change. The other benefit I’d like to see from this is that hopefully my system will work a little better and not require artificial help on a daily basis. I don’t fancy battling bowel cancer because I ate so much meat and so little grains.

So that’s what’s happening in my health and fitness life right now. There’s plenty more going on but too early to blog about it and heaps of stuff that I’m sure you’re not the least bit interested in. Hahahaha that’s assuming you’re interested in the stuff I wrote about today:-)

Magda

CURIOUS SOUL

I'm a curious soul. Always wondering about this and that, pondering that and this and just wanting to know stuff. Since I've been doing my one hour jogs (clocked up a few weeks in a row now) I've become curious about the distance I cover. So today I logged onto mapmyrun.com and after much trial and error managed to map out the route I jogged this morning.

Drum roll please......

..... approximately (I'd say within 100 metres of) 8.25kms. Thats nothing ground breaking or earth shattering as its actually quite slow but hey I NEVER STOP OR TAKE A WALK REST. By the end of it I can feel my quads and adductors getting sore and tired and I visualise my thighs getting leaner, firmer and having beautiful toned muscles on them LOL.

I'd love to do a 10km test run to see what time I do it in and then aim for improving but thats a fair whack of time to devote when weekends are already really busy and I'm often struggling to get 30 minutes of training in, let alone well over an hour. I'm sure the opportunity will present itself sooner or later and I'll give it a go.

Who knows what else I'll aim for in the future. I've been avoiding setting goals for reasons that are valid to me. But maybe a goal thats NOT all about weighing a certain amount by a certain time, or fitting into this or that by a deadline is the stimulation I need to push myself out of my comfort zone.

Cheers all

Magda

SAILING CALM SEAS AND REFLECTING

Since my last post through some rough seas my sailing vessel has swayed side to side, done a massive list taking on more water than it would normally cope with (yep there was a binge in there on Thursday afternoon – so much for trying to coach myself out of it), righted itself and sailed steadily through the storm only to enjoy calm seas again the next day. Yes there was the odd small wave but it was all handled beautifully once I took my sailing skills back to basics and just did what I do as normal these days.

Friday started with my sprint runs session and I added some brisk walking at the end of it as I was up earlier than I needed to be. Waited til I was hungry before eating. Spontaneous lunch out with my work colleagues? I’m in. Ordered food I love and ate til I was satisfied. Had a wine as well. Dinner followed suit. No trolling for more food or junk after the meal. Feeling like my old self again and certainly not beating myself up over the events of the previous day.

I knew that everything was 100% again when standing at the Bakers Delight counter on Saturday waiting for my (son’s) bread there were Christmas mince pies out for tasting. Normally I LOVE mince pies and would always take a taste (and often buy one or two to have then) but I looked at them and wasn’t even the slightest bit tempted to have any.

On Sunday I had breakfast with the beautiful Kristy who I haven’t seen face to face since 2007 when we ran together in the early mornings when I was preparing to compete. She also worked with Hilde when I did and we often emailed each other for support. Well Kristy is looking great and whilst she also faces challenges similar to me (and a lot of others) she has made some serious inroads into working out the whole food / mind / attitude puzzle for weight loss and maintenance.

Finally, the things that have really hit home since last week’s events are:

Llife will always throw curve balls. Sometimes we’ll catch them and throw them back. Sometimes they’ll be massive boulders that’ll knock us to the ground. We can choose to lie there crying over our failing or we can get the f*ck up, dust ourselves off and make sure that catcher’s mitt is better placed when the next curve ball comes flying towards us.

I’m not perfect. I wont get it right all the time. I will stuff up. But I will forgive myself quickly and absolutely. I will put a smile on my face the next day and be truly thankful in my heart for all the great things in my life. I’ll follow my principles and beliefs for living my life knowing that my choices ultimately help me achieve what I want and therefore make me happy.

Magda

A BIT OF SELF ANALYSIS

Well there is no doubt that this week has been one of some challenging mind games. As I reflect back over it all I put the pieces of the puzzle together and realise that it stems from my under-eating at the beginning of the week.

Eating mindfully or intuitively is tricky. No point asking myself at lunch time what do I feel like eating? Lunch is made the night before, packed and brought to work with me. If I didn’t do this I’d spend a small fortune buying something every day from city food outlets. No thank you. I’d rather spend my money on more worthwhile things. And I find that I genuinely don’t get properly hungry at those previous 3 hourly intervals. I thought I was doing great and feeling fine eating a bit less. My body thought otherwise and then sent some crazy signals to my brain like “ warning warning starvation alert” (well not exactly but you get the gist).

This set the old diet/binge mentality back into action, hence the struggles I’ve had this week coupled with the feeling of incredible tiredness. Yep this was my life when I was on the diet merry-go-round earlier this year. It was a pretty miserable existence as I constantly binged, beat myself up over it and punished myself with more and more restrictive dieting. Breaking free from this cycle around the middle of the year was life changing for me.

But I realise that moving on from that behaviour to my current lifestyle is not as simple as closing one door behind me and then living happily ever after in my “new place”. Many years ago I read a statement written by Dr Phil in his weight loss/management book (sorry I forgot the title of it but it was very good as it focussed as much on the psychology of it all rather than just eat this / don’t eat that and move more). Dr Phil’s statement was along the lines of “overweight is never cured. Its managed” and I believe its totally correct.

If you have been overweight and lived on the diet merry-go-round you’ll know that losing weight and keeping it off is something that you must work at constantly. There is never a day where you can say, “I’m not at any risk of regaining the weight I’ve lost” or “No matter what I do today or over the next three months my weight will remain stable”. Deep in our subconscious we engage the strategies we use to manage our weight at a level we find acceptable. Those strategies may be physical ones like dieting and/or training a certain way or they may be mental strategies we use to manage our eating through internal mindful processes rather than external control.

So this week has seen me peeking back through that door I thought was closed behind me. It’s ajar and I’ve poked my nose back into that room only to be reminded of what a painful place that was. Its also driven home the point that I can’t take my new place for granted. There are things I must do on an ongoing basis to remain happy in this place.

I have chosen to step off the diet merry-go-round and with this comes a new set of responsibilities and actions to ensure that I don’t end up looking like the Michelin Man. I’ve explored what feels right for me. I’ve tested it over a few months. I take responsibility for my decisions and I maintain control over what I do. Mind games may come to tease me every so often but if I stay true to me those challenges can be faced and conquered.

Magda

ORDINARY VS TOTALLY CR*PPY

Today I just have to accept that I feel ordinary. Not great, nor good just ordinary. If I was honest I'd describe it as a "fat day". You known when you look down and your stomach looks 5 months preggo or your thighs look like big fat slabs of lard LOL. Well I had a stomach moment this morning. Silly isnt it?

My mood has been soso and some unexpected events had some of my destructive old thought patterns return with a vengeance. Although I had my lunch with me today, I got invited to a lunch meeting and my colleague and I talked through some really important work issues over lunch at a nearby pub. I ate well, mindful of my recent undereating and then found myself craving sweets after. And I dont mean a sweet I mean several. Like I wanted to have a binge. WTF!!!???? Not hungry. Just wanted to eat lots of sweets.

I didnt do it because I knew I didnt really want them and decided to just acknowledge and then ride with the feeling. Luckily I had a meeting take up a lot of my afternoon and then I could come home a bit earlier than normal and get stuck into domestic chores. Lo and behold by 6pm I was hungry for dinner which was just ideal.

This is a massive achievement for me. I have rarely had the urge to binge since adopting the "no-diet-approach" so it was unexpected and a bit unsettling today. It would have been so easy to just give in and stuff myself because thats a coping mechanism I'm used to but I wanted a different outcome so different actions were in order.

Hence I sit here tonight still feeling ordinary but happy in myself that I didnt turn the ordinary into "totally cr*ppy".

:-) Magda

TRIAL AND ERROR

When I left work today I felt flat. Really flat. Energy levels were rock bottom and I had that awful feeling that I lived with during my comp prep where you drag yourself around in a semi starved state with no energy at all.

So I thought through why I might be feeling this way. I had been out of the office today and had the benefit of movement during the day (some days I'm desk and computer bound and I find that very tiring) so it wasnt that. Then I thought through what I'd eaten over the last couple of days and VOILA!! there it was. I havent eaten enough.

In my quest to eat mindfully and not overeat, I've swung the other way and not had enough and still managed some pretty tough training. So although I had a decent brekkie I missed my 10am skim cappuccino as I was heading out to a site visit. Lunch was bolted down just before 12 as I was famished by then. And it filled me up but didnt keep me full. I had stir fried brocolli with left over lean roast pork, coriander and some flax oil. Yep it looked like comp food and sort of was but funnily enough I like it, its quick to prepare and I havent had the inspiration to be creative with my lunches. I was hungry for a snack in the afternoon and had my usual low fat creamed cottage cheese with cinnamon and Splenda and today I had some mango with it. Was famished for dinner though so the atlantic salmon was devoured with gusto.

Yesterday was light on for lunch as it was leftovers and there wasnt that much of them. I'm better prepared for tomorrow though with brown rice added to my lunch of brocolli, tandoori chicken and coriander.

Trial and error and I'll get it right. Some days you eat more, some you eat less but 2 days of less in a row and I'm not feeling so (physically) good anymore. Thank goodness the fish and salad for dinner was a decent serve and my tummy is happily satisfied and the energy levels have come back up.

:-) M

JUST HAPPY

I have decided to have a wonderful day today. I decided this at 4.50am when my alarm went off and it was time to train upper body. I didn’t even have the split second thought of “oh I don’t want to get up”. I just got up and got into it.

Today I increased some more weights for a really punishing session. Poor triceps don’t get done til near the end and they are so tired by then that its hard to isolate them. I can feel all the surrounding muscles chipping in to help coz the tris are screaming “help us, we cant do this on our own” LOL. I down a small shake straight after and then hit the shower to get ready for work.

On days that I weight train I have a blueberry pancake for breakfast. Its to die for and here’s how I make it.

Beat 2 egg whites with a fork and add approx 60g of low fat creamed cottage cheese and a generous sprinkle of cinnamon. Beat all this together some more. Add ½ punnet of blueberries, 1/3c oats and a generous tablespoon of unprocessed bran. Mix well and then cook in a non-stick pan (in my older pans I use a light spray of oil or in a Scanpan you need nothing). It takes a few minutes each side as I make mine quite thick. I serve it with sugar free maple syrup and a sprinkle of LSA. Try it and tell me what you think.

Its cooler today (well under 35 degrees) so Peter is walking to and from work which means I drop off and pick up our boy. We have the funniest conversations in the car. They are just gold (like how he wants his nana to make a violin cake for his birthday next April LOL). This evening I’ll see my parents when I pick him up from their place and that’ll be nice too.

I got a call today regarding progress on the sh*tty issue in our lives now. We should have something back in writing by the end of the week. I was calm and unemotional during the call and then let it go instead of stewing over it for the rest of the day. I reminded myself that I was choosing to have a wonderful day.

Dinner tonight is Atlantic salmon done on the BBQ with a salad of spinach leaves, roasted pumpkin, semi dried tomatoes, pine nuts and low fat feta. A wine would go nicely with it but I wont indulge until Thursday and I’m ok with that. Its my choice and not a rule dictated to me by some-one else.

When I go to bed tonight I know I’ll be looking forward to getting up tomorrow and nailing my jog/run session and I might even walk to work as a bonus. Happy on the outside. Happy on the inside. Just happy.

M

COULD THIS BE TRUE?

I've now done my 60 minute easy paced jog about 3 times and it is getting easier each time. As I hit the pavement (not literally) I tune into my iPod and slip easily into my "zone". The pace is easy yet today my HRM told me that I had only spent between 1 and 2 minutes in my training zone. The rest of the time my pulse was higher and I burned a whopping 670 calories. It didnt feel that hard, honestly. I think my pulse may have been up due to the heat.

If you'd have said to me a year ago that I would again willingly run for anything more than 30 minutes I would have told you "no bloody way". Doing the City to Bay (12kms) was a huge achievement for me but after completing it I had no desire to repeat it or anything even remotely similar. Yet now I find myself itching to know what distance I cover in 60 minutes (I'm all over the side streets and through the carpark of my local shopping centre) and there is a little voice in my head whispering "enter another event and see how you go".

Hmmm something to ponder during those long zenlike sessions.

:-) Magda

FOCUSSING ON THE GOOD STUFF

Today’s post will just be a boring round up of my fantastic weekend. Sorry I have nothing more inspiring, groundbreaking, spiritually moving or deliciously tantalising to write about.

Saturday started with a mini training session, as time was very short. So it was 20 minutes of leg training incorporating 4 sets of split squats and then 5 sets of stiff legged deadlifts (one of my favourite exercises). I cracked the 40kgs+ on my deadlifts, which I think is a first for me. (Hey you Superwomen who lift heavy shit just stop laughing right now. It was heavy for me LOL). Took my son to swimming and was very proud of him getting an achievement certificate. He is struggling with his swimming, as he is phobic about putting his head underwater so progress is very slow. The afternoon was spent doing domestic stuff both at home and out. More about all that down the track.

On Saturday night we dropped our son to his auntie’s house for a sleep over while we went to the Seal concert at the Enter Centre. Geez he was good. We really enjoyed it. We had dinner out first so we made a night of it sort of like a date (except at the end we went home and went to sleep as we were both so tired LOL).

Sunday started with a sleep-in which is very rare in our household. Peter headed out for a run in the scorching heat while I waited for our boy to be dropped off. Hence there was no training time for me as we wanted to go to the beach and wanted to get away as early as possible. I don’t normally like the beach but I really enjoyed it yesterday. Yes I wore my bikini and felt quite good in it. I even went right in the water which I rarely do as I hate it cold. Then I spent the afternoon lying on my towel under an umbrella and reading the paper while Peter built sand castles with our boy and then romped in the sea with him. We all had ice creams before going home and ending a great day.

Last night we sat outside and had a Corona and a few nibbles before dinner and both commented on what a great weekend it had been and how good we both felt. There may be some sh*t in our lives that we desperately want to get sorted and finalised but we managed to put that aside and focus on all the good stuff that surrounds us as well.

Cheers

Magda

BLESSED WITH A WONDERFUL LIFE

Every second Friday I leave work at 3pm and pick my son up from school. Its my favourite time of the fortnight. I raced to his school today having been caught in traffic due to some city road closures. Luckily he was late getting out so my arriving late didnt matter. He excitedly showed me a microscope he'd bought at the school's Giant Sale and carefully returned the change from his unspent money. The sale was to raise money to send to a poor nation overseas and he commented that the best thing about the sale was that poor people would get money. On the way to the car I asked him if he wanted to go out for coffee and a biscuit or ice cream.

Ice cream won hands down (it was 39 degrees here) so we headed to Cibo at Norwood and indulged in some gelati. Chocolate for my boy and roasted almond for me. He's such a slow eater but today I enjoyed every miunte of watching him slowly lick his icecream til it was finished and he had chocolate smears all over his face :-). Then we chatted about his day before heading back into the city to pick Peter up and head off home.

Such a simple thing yet so incredibly enjoyable. I am so lucky and so blessed to have such a wonderful life. And the weekend is here. Yippee!! And its a hot one. Double yippee!!

M

OH I DO LOVE SUMMER

Check out Kek’s blog for her opinion about the warm (hot) weather we’re having. I’m 110% behind her and couldn’t agree more completely.

Yes the mercury has climbed into the 30s and here in Adelaide it’ll hit the 40s by Sunday and the stream of complaints is already in full swing. “Oh I can’t stand the heat. I wish it’d cool down”. Or people looking for an ally in their quest to hate the heat saying “So how are you liking/handling this heat?” Boy do they get a surprise when I beam from ear to ear and tell them that I (genuinely) love it and it’s about time the cold miserable winter ended and it was HOT. They look at me like I’ve got 3 heads and no brains in any of them. So I go on and I tell them that I hate winter. I hate being cold and this is MY time of year. “You wont find me complaining about the heat,” I tell them and I don’t.

When its hot I love:

Getting out early and running in the warmth wearing shorts and a tank top. When the sweat trickles down my face I know I’m working. Its like I have the proof of my efforts right there.

Wearing open toed sandals and showing off pretty bright pink or dark red toenails (note to self: get that pedicure done NOW).

Wearing sleeveless tops and showing off my nicely toned arms and my broad shoulders. Yes I’m lucky to have a decent set of shoulders with nice width and pretty good muscle tone. Shame that I wasn’t blessed with good thighs to match LOL.

Feeling warm where warm = comfortable = happy.

Balmy evenings. Sitting outside for a drink on a Friday night. Peter cooking dinner on the BBQ. Eating more salad. Eating outside. Chatting away and unwinding.

Having an icy cold Corona with a lime wedge. Just one will do as I’m not normally a beer lover but one on a hot day hits the spot.

Having BBQs with friends or family. I don’t have to cook and I get to eat yummy food that I love.

Being on holidays. Packing lightly. Getting onto a beach or into a pool. Beer-o’clock. Late nights.

Oh I do love summer.

Magda

CARDIO FREE DAY AND WARDROBE WONDERLAND

Yay today is a cardio free day. Not that I have a problem with cardio. In fact I love it but the old legs will welcome the rest. Yesterday I did my jog/run and walked both to and from work. Mind you in the afternoon my pace couldn’t really count as cardio. It was just too hot to power it up so I kept it moderate and arrived home sane and not too sweaty.

This morning I trained upper body and abs. Increased some of my weights and by the end of the session I could barely hold a 7.5kg dumbbell. How pissweak am I??? LOL. But I’m not stupid enough to think that I need to lift as heavy as some of you other Superwomen. I know it has to be hard for me. And if that’s 10kgs and not 15 or 17 then so be it. I’m mindful of using proper form and I wont ramp up the weights if my form then goes to cr*p.

I’m in a good place emotionally. I’m not letting that issue spoil my mood or drag me down. Sure its annoying but its pushed to the back of my mind for the time being and I’ll worry about it when events unfold further. One of my friends had some good advice about it yesterday and I’m going to take it if the need arises, as I’m sure it will.

And to add further fuel to my happiness fire I now have a much wider range of clothes to enjoy since my weight has come down to a “looking good” level. I bought some white pants in a size 10 after the 2007 comps. I reckon I wore them once before I put on too much weight and couldn’t wear them any more. Well I wore them on Monday and they looked great. Many years ago in Singapore I bought a DKNY red skirt, which looks fantastic. Again its small and I’ve hardly ever worn it. I have it on today. And I even tried on the bikini I bought straight after the 2007 comps. Silly me got all excited that I could fit into a size 8 and bought it when I should have bought the 10 knowing that I’d put on weight. Well I tried the size 8 bikini on and while it feels tight in places, it doesn’t look tight and I’ll be able to wear it this summer. How fanbloodytastic is that??!!

M

RAMPING UP THE RUNNING

This morning I set out at 5.15am and did my jog/run training session. It was fantastic. I did at least 10 intervals of running approx 1 minute and sometimes more. The jogs were my rest periods. It was a full on session with my heart rate really getting up and the sweat pouring off me. We are having a major heatwave here (yippee!!) and it took ages for me to cool down.

Then I walked into the Central Market and had breakfast with a couple of friends before going to work. What an excellent start to the day. For brekkie I chose the "raisin sensation". It was a thick slice of toasted raisin bread with ricotta cheese, a poached pear, strawberries, slivered almonds and a light dusting of icing sugar. It came with vanilla syrup which I asked for on the side and didnt end up having. The dish didnt need more sweetness.

So when my diet is mainly clean but unrestricted and I eat what feels right for me and I keep up my training doing stuff I love the result is a feeling of true health, wellbeing and happiness. Why would you choose to live any other way?

M

TIRED LEGS

Since moving house my training schedule has changed quite significantly. I no longer do weights 4 x / week as my set up is awkward and also noisy with my son sleeping in the next room. I have reignited my love of running though and am clocking up some decent sessions (well for me anyway). I have now done 2 x one hour runs (well jogs actually) and quite frankly I could go longer at my easy pace but I'm not prepared to get out before 5am. Maybe on a weekend when we're not so busy but not on a work day.

I've also done 2 shorter sessions incorporating 10 x approx 60-70 metre sprints (thats a wild guess as in havent really measured it). I jog to my local shopping centre (about 10 minutes going the long way), do my sprint intervals in the car park and then walk or walk/jog home. All up its about half an hour and a nice change from the long slow paced run earlier in the week.

So my plan now is to introduce a mid length session of about 40 minutes where I incorporate some running intervals. These will be at a running pace (not a slow jog but not my fastest speed either) with the aim of getting my overall speed up on the longer jogs. It'll also provide a bit of interest as two long jogs are a bit draining not just physically but mentally too.

When you couple this with one leg training session of moderate intensity and a few walks to/from work (about 35-40 minutes in duration depending on how hot it is and how fast I push it) its no wonder that I have tired legs. Which I'm hoping will translate into lean and toned legs as I dont know any (serious) runners that have otherwise. Maybe I'll ask Santa for lean and toned legs for Christmas. Please Santa I've been good all year and all I'd like is for my legs to lean down and tone up. Pretty please.

:-) Magda

DEALING WITH HICCUPS

Its been a tough few days and its taking a lot of effort and energy to stay positive and not let things get me down. Sometimes I'm winning and other times I'm not. We are in limbo over a major issue with the ball no longer in our court. Peter hates not being in total control. I dont like it either. So much hinges on this and the "not knowing" is taking its toll. Hopefully it'll all be sorted by the end of this week.

So on Friday I resorted to some bad old habits which at the time made me feel temporarily better even though in the long term they serve no positive purpose. I knew that I made some poor choices and I just accepted that without wallowing in guilt, pity or self hatred. Wasted emotions. Wasted energy. Saturday was a new day and I went back to my new normal habits and had a good day. Followed it up with another good day on Sunday even though I was at a party all day.

I'm feeling good just knowing that I'm eating the way I want to eat MOST of the time and I'm managing it pretty effortlessly. I'm feeling good knowing that despite having a massive "hiccup" (my SP's words) on Friday I got over it and just went back to eating normally the next day without going through all the negative emotions that riddled me previously. I'm feeling good doing exercise that I love and look forward to each day. Oh and the hot weather always makes me feel good. "Bring on the sweat", I say. So when I look at all those things, maybe I dont feel so bad after all. I'll hang onto that thought :-)

Magda

DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER!!

Tonight I have alarm bells sounding as a warning of danger up ahead. Its to do with "the issue" that I've decided to not blog about just yet and just as I thought there are rough seas ahead.

I had a great day today. Felt really good both physically and emotionally and was powering through the work. Then later in the afternoon I had a call about "the issue" and it left me quite worried and a bit upset. Contacted Peter so that we could talk about before we got home where mum and dad were waiting for us. This needed to be discussed in private. All the way to the cafe I was mulling over it but getting nowhere in finding a solution that sat well with me.

At the cafe I ordered a wine (DANGER DANGER!!) and then Peter got there and he had one too. I told him the news. He was so calm and so rational. I love that about him. He deals with major problems all day every day that he is an expert at taking things in his stride. I'm an emotional minefield. When something bad happens I react badly and feel like the world is caving in. I can rarely "fix it" on my own. So its Peter to the rescue. After our chat and his calm reasoning around what we'll do I felt SO much better (of course the glass of red helped as well).

We have a bit of a rough time ahead and all I can say is thank god we have each other. I'm prepared to do the leg work, make calls, sit on hold, find out information etc etc. But I need his support in solving problems, assessing what the options are and deciding on the best course of action. In that sense we make a brilliant team and I feel so lucky to have him as my husband.

My challenge will be to work through this together (not hard) and to stay true to my non-diet way of eating. Yes that means continuing to do the following:

1. Eating mainly lean and clean foods.
2. Eating only when I'm hungry.
3. Never never never stuffing myself over full.
4. Enjoying treats in moderation.

I had some of my old thought patterns sneaking back in today so I'll need to be really mindful of them over the coming days / weeks. I dont want to resort to comfort eating or drinking like I used to but its going to take some effort to stay in the positive groove I've been in lately.

Magda

OOOH PAYING THE PRICE NOW

Well after the euphoria of my long run wore off and all the feel good endorphins didnt feel so good any more, I ended up feeling really crappy today. The message was loud and clear:

DO NOT OVEREAT NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE FOOD TASTES.

WINE IS BETTER IN MODERATION - LESS IS MORE.

AND FINALLY, HONOUR YOUR BODY SO IT HONOURS YOU BACK.

I'm sure that the combination of too much food, too much wine and then not enough sleep made for my crappy physical state today. Oh and because I was so tired, I really felt the cold. I couldnt wait to finish work as I just wasnt overly productive in this pathetic state.

So on the walk to my car I thought about this all and realised yet again how important it is to eat well. I hardly ever feel like this anymore because I've been taking much better care of myself. So yesterday was a timely reminder of whats important and how I want to live my life.

Tonight's goal is to get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow morning I'm training upper body and abs and following it up with one of my superb blueberry pancakes. Miss J and I are going to lunch but it'll be low key affair me thinks. Fingers crossed that i wake up feeling as great as I do every other day.

Magda

CRACKING THE 60 MINUTE MARK

This morning I cracked the 60-minute mark for my jog. I’ve wanted to do this for a while now and I often get close at 50 – 55 minutes but never made the 60. So today I made sure I headed out a little bit earlier (5.03am to be exact) and I didn’t have to be back before 6 am so it was 60 minutes or bust.

Although I’m a plodder rather than a runner my goal is always to keep running and not take walk breaks. I must admit the last 10 or 15 minutes were hard and my legs were tired but like I said before, it was 60 or bust today and I was going for it.

My HRM told me that I had burned 550 calories which accounts for ????? aah who cares. I run because I like it (cant believe I’m admitting that now!!) and I like how it makes me feel when I’m finished. Alive. Awake. Vibrant.

We all have Post-Melbourne-Cupitis at work today. The energy levels are low but the stories from yesterday are still flowing. Miss C and I are already planning what we’ll do next year including buying our hats now in the post-Melbourne-Cup sales LOL. I don’t know anybody that had a good win but everybody seemed to enjoy the event this year and I guess that’s what its all about really. Mind you, my body has reminded me that yesterday’s consumption was NOT in my best interest by sending me an annoying little mouth ulcer. I guess that’s the price I pay for overindulging.

So on that note I will sign out and eat my tabbouli with 3-bean mix for lunch. I’m enjoying some vego meals at the moment and this one is a favourite. Although seeing as its quite cold again today I wish I was having hot food. Never mind, I’ll just huddle closer to my heater. And no that’s not a joke.

:-) Magda

OOPS. OVERDID IT AT THE MELBOURNE CUP LUNCH TODAY

Today my Assets and Contract Manager and I were invited by one of our service provider contractors to the Advertiser Sunday Mail Foundation (ASMF) Melbourne Cup lunch at Adelaide Oval. Its a huge event and very popular on Adelaide's social calendar. I have never been before and in fact have rarely gotten into the Melbourne Cup thing but was really excited to go this year to such a popular event.

So I lived it up a bit. Lunch was superb and I ate a bit too much. A nice bottle of white wine was parked right in front of me and as I was sitting with a table of gentlemen nobody else touched it so I drank most of it. I had a bet on the race but there was no win coming my way. I didnt really care as I had such a good time. I wore my Christmas Day dress and got lots of compliments for it. It really is very pretty. I did want to take pics before we went but everyone was so busy at work that there was just no chance.

After the lunch I partied on (albeit briefly) with the girls from my office who had all gone to one of the local pubs for their celebrations. Luckily that didnt go on too long as I could have gotten quite untidy LOL.

So how do I feel about today?

Just great.

I have no guilt and no regrets. What I did today, I would do rarely. Life is not a string of perfect behaviours or ideal choices. I havent eaten dinner. Not as punishment but purely because I'm not hungry (mmmm I can still tatse the delicious cheese I had after the meal). Tomorrow I'll probably eat a bit less, again not as punishment but because I wont want or need as much food. There will be no strict dieting or ridiculous training to "make up" for today. And because there is no dreaded weigh in looming I'm not living in fear or dread of what the Metal Monster will say.

So on that note its time to prepare some oats, bran and powder for breakfast tomorrow, get the running gear ready and head off for an early night. I hope you all had a s good a day as me with the exception of a nice win on the geegees.

:-) Magda

A RADICAL DEPARTURE FROM THE NORM

Sometimes you just need to take the pressure off, stop and smell the roses. Sometimes this is what’s needed to achieve what you’ve always wanted.

As a radical departure from the norm, what would your life be like if you stopped setting challenging weight loss goals and then doing everything in your power to achieve them?

If experience shows that when you place yourself under so much stress and pressure, the slightest inkling of failure has you spiralling in the opposite direction, why not contemplate a different approach?

If you lose control and lose the plot and before you know it you’ve spiralled to the depths of despair, could there be a better way to get what you always wanted? What if your reaction to those negative behaviours is to then beat yourself up, put yourself down, punish yourself with even stricter dieting, more cardio, doing whatever you can to rid your body of those dreaded excesses? Ask yourself would you treat your daughter or best friend that way? No, then maybe there is a better way.

Relax. Enjoy your food. Eat lean and clean food most of the time because you like it and it makes you feel good. Savour your treats and never deny yourself if a treat is what you really want. Accept that on some days you’ll eat more and on others you’ll eat less. It will balance out. Enjoy social occasions without being a stick in the mud because the food on offer isn’t on your diet plan. But on the other hand never never never stuff yourself silly. You don’t need to. Nothing is banned and you can have it again any time you wish. Eat til you’re pleasantly satisfied. Its ok to leave food on your plate. The angels will appreciate it.

Exercise because you love it and you love how it makes you feel. If you miss a day that’s ok. There is no rule that says that missing a day’s training is sacrilege. It doesn’t make you a bad, lazy or unmotivated person. Do what you love. If you’re a cardio queen then enjoy your hot, sweaty heart-thumping sessions. If you’re a weights girl then get under some heavy shit, lift and grunt. Love what you do. Aim for some balance.

And finally, accept yourself, love yourself and give thanks daily for the great life you have. When the glass is half full a smile will easily appear on your face. Leave the frowning for the Negative Nellys.

I took the risk and changed my approach to this whole dieting business. I ditched it and started to really enjoy life. I met with my Metal Monster on Saturday morning and was rewarded with a nice drop and am sitting about 2kgs off my ultimate maintenance weight. But the number aside, its how I feel now that has seen the biggest change.

Would you take a similar risk if you too were fed up with the whole diet mentality and all the negativity it brings with it?


Magda