Thursday, October 29, 2009

SPRINTING AND TUTUS

This morning I contemplated having a brief interlude with my Metal Monster. The poor darling has been severely neglected since the beginning of October. So much so that he's gathered a good layer of dust (tsk tsk says something about my cleaning standards) and he's looking ....forlorn. And lonely. And unloved.

Then I walked away and thought "you can wait. I dont really care what number you throw at me today". And I had my big hot lemon drink, put on my gym gear and hit the weights.

Now if thats not progress then I'll sprint the length of Rundle Mall in a tutu. Hmmm that makes me think that some sprints might be in order tomorrow morning. The steady state jogging is great but there needs to be some variety to my cardio. But I'll stick to my gym pants and T shirt and keep the tutu for a special occassion.

M

FEELING FANTASTIC

Today I feel fantastic. Really fantastic. I mean FANTASTIC!!!

It could be because I woke up to the smell of my superbly concocted chicken recipe cooking in the slow cooker.

It may be because I did an absolutely cracking upper body workout and really pushed it HARD.

It could even be the best oat, egg white, cottage cheese, bran, cinnamon and blueberry pancake with SF maple syrup and a sprinkle of LSA that I had for breakfast.

Or maybe it was fitting into a pair of size 10 pants that I was wearing close to comp time 2 years ago and then getting a “you’re looking very svelte” compliment at work.

Or the walk to work where I got a great pace going and lapped up the warmth of this beautiful day.

Of course knocking off a big ugly job at work could have contributed.

But it’s probably a combination of all of the above. It’s been like a morning of wins and add them all up and I’m in my very happy place.

For lunch today Miss J and I went to the Manna Café and I had one of the best salt and pepper calamaris ever. Oh and a glass of sav blanc and a good chin wag. Good food + Good wine + Good friends = Happy Magda.

If I died now, it’d be with a big smile on my face.

:-) Magda

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

NO NEWS YET .... SORRY


Ahoy me hearties. The Cautious Cathy side of me is keeping mum until our sailing ship clears these potentially rough seas around the harbour. Once we have left the port and are sailing on calmer seas, I'll share my news. Just feel better taking this care right now.


Above is a pic (sorry about the poor quality) of my haircut and colour thanks to the lovely Miss B


who never disappoints when it comes to styling my tresses. Whilst Peter was happy to dish out a compliment about my hair, he grizzled when asked to take the pic. How will I ever get photographic evidence of me fitting into my skinny jeans and looking so hot LOL.

I'm slowly establishing a training routine that will meet my needs and keep me happy. I think it'll look like this:

Monday: 45-50 minute jog
Tuesday: lower body + abs
Wednesday: 45-50 minute jog
Thursday: upper body + abs
Friday: 30 min jog
Saturday: lower body + abs + exercise bike intervals (time permitting)
Sunday: free choice (probably be a long walk or walk/jog combo)
Then the following week the weights will be: upper / lower / upper and rotate them like so. There will also be some walks to / from work which will add a bit more moderate intensity cardio but Peter and I will work out our walking schedule from week to week for now.

Nutrition all good and am planning to do a weigh and measure around Oct end / Nov beginning for curiosity's sake. Yeah I know I dont weigh myself anymore etc but a girl is entitled to change her mind when it suits her (which is definitely no more than once a month).

Cheers all

Magda

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A NEW JOURNEY

We have taken the plunge and done it.

We are about to embark on a new journey in a new direction.

As captains of our ship we have changed our sailing destination and are heading to a different port. Our journey is not yet mapped out and there may well be rough seas along the way but there will be no stopping us until we reach our new dream.

Swift action was required before the ship set sail for its original destination. Once it had done that changing course would not be an option without major grief. The future is somewhat uncertain but that brings with it a level of excitement too. Excitement at the potential of what it could bring.

I’m happy to say that we both listened to our hearts, which were both in sync, and we are confident that our decision albeit made quickly, was the right one.

Magda

Monday, October 26, 2009

MONDAYITIS

Mondayitis has a strong hold on me today. Does anybody else feel like that? I've been chipping away at a big task today and have broken the back of it but now its time for the write up I find that I cant string a coherent sentence together. My seven year old could write it up better than me, I'm sure. Well at least its not long til I race off to pick him up from After School Care.

I hate feeling like this because although I'm not hungry my mind continually wanders to food as the ultimate distraction or excuse to take a break from my work. I've still managed to eat only when I'm hungry but am realising that boredom or just not being into the job at hand will have me toying with eating when I dont need to and in fact I dont really want to eat. Oh to be able to pack up my desk, pick up my son, head out for a coffee and a chat with him before going home and just getting stuck into domestic bliss. I dont want for much to be totally happy LOL.

As October draws to an end this coming weekend I marvel at how quickly it came and went and how significantly my life changed as my residence changed. I'm so proud that I held it all together and didnt let the many disappointments and challenges of finding a nice rental in a good area, get the better of me. There was no Binge Monster screaming at me to eat junk, eat lots of junk and no Lazy Lucy convincing me to blow off my training. They dont really feature in my life anymore and that makes for a much happier existence.

But I'm not so smug and complacent to think that they'll never be there. Lets just say I'm forever mindful of where I've come from and how much I dont want to go back there. Except this time I'll stay where I am and move to an even better and stronger place by loving myself as I am right now, accepting who I am, believing in myself and genuinely wanting to nurture myself with what I know I need instead of enforcing a rigid diet and training schedule and relying on willpower of steal to see me through. That recipe just doesnt work for me and I've finally realised it and accepted it.

Now to just get the melting pot of other issues sorted and know the direction we go from here. Whilst I know I can handle this, it would be nice to not have the uncertainty hanging over our heads.

Cheers all

Magda

Sunday, October 25, 2009

EMINENT TURMOIL

Just when you think that you have all your little ducks lined up in a neat row and there is order, direction and certainty in your life BANG one innocent decision and subsequent action can bring all that tumbling down. I didnt think that I could or would feel or think what I am right now but my gut feel is that there is another big change on the horizon. Watch this space.

Sorry the hot bod pics are yet to come. In fact are yet to be taken. Not much opportunity over the last few days. We all headed to the zoo today but was seriously rugged up as the weather turned cold again. Yet again...watch this space.

We had a housewarming for a very small group of our closest friends last night. It was a great night. Peter cooked a lovely BBQ and we drank heaps of wine and hoed into a cheesecake for dessert. And the skinny jeans still fit this morning :-). In fact I scored well on the compliments last night as both my girlfriends have recently gained weight and neither is looking or feeling their best whereas I was flying on cloud 9.

I managed close to an hour of cardio on Saturday morning but nothing today as there was cleaning up to do before we headed out for the day. I am due for a decent session at 5am tomorrow though. And I get to walk to and from work on Thursday with Peter doing it on most of the other days (in his words he needs it more than me LOL).

So with all things considered and despite the eminent turmoil, I'm feeling really happy within myself. I continue to believe that I'm getting this intuitive eating right, that I am getting leaner and that I am a confident, capable and successful person. I dont need to stuff myself to make myself feel better when the going gets tough. I dont want to overload my body with tons of crappy food or too much alcohol. I am finally truly happy and at peace within myself.

Magda

Thursday, October 22, 2009

MY NEW LIFESTYLE

We are settling into a different lifestyle in our rented cottage which is just 3kms from the CBD where we both work and just under 5kms from our son’s school. We are no longer rattling around in a massive house with way too many rooms that take hours to clean properly. Yes cleaning our neat little shoebox will be a non event LOL. I’m not usually a lover of old homes but I have taken to this one with quite a passion. We are walking distance to a really nice shopping centre with 2 awesome supermarkets and some great shops. There is a family café/restaurant across the road from the shopping centre and further along the main road there are numerous restaurants, cafes and some interesting shops all within walking distance. I’d give our location a firm 10 / 10.

Today I walked to work and it took a little over 30 minutes. I know that hubbie and I will be fighting over who walks and who drives our son to school as we both love walking. Bring on the incidental cardio exercise on top of my usual 5am sessions. The walk home took me 38 minutes as I spent quite some time waiting to cross at city intersections but on the straight runs through I was really powering along. Tomorrow or the next time I do the walk I'll use my HRM to see how it rates on the cardio scale.

However Hilde has reminded me to keep up my running (well my Cliff Young Shuffling as what I do cant possibly be called running LOL). I must confess that I had secretly slipped back into my happy comfort zone where I walk one song and then jog one. But running will be back on the agenda forthwith!! She has also come up with a really good 2 day split and I'll be starting it next week. Just basic upper + abs and then lower + abs which is what I want right now. Maybe down the track I'll venture back to more weights but right now this will keep me training and happy.

So as you can tell I'm pretty happy with life right now. I love to live in such a way that I experience lots of different things and I try not to shy away from new ventures and adventures. Hubbie is pretty much the same. And our living situation ticks all those boxes for both of us so I have no regrets about coming here.

Finally I will post proof of my "hotness" (LMAO) when I get a pic of me in a my skinny jeans and post it up as evidence of my recent achievement. Watch this space.

Magda

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

YOOHOO .... I'M BACK

OMG what a week its been!!

The move went well although that can only be said in hindsight. There were some hairy moments like when the guys were still loading up after 1pm and I was calculating the finish time to be around 7 or 8pm. It was more like 6pm but still a very long day. Then there was the drama of getting our massive washing machine through a 700mm doorway. There was a hair's breadth to spare on either side but it went in. No room for my dryer though.

Hubbie got home and I could just tell what he was thinking and it wasnt anything good. He hadnt seen the house as he was sick when I inspected it so he had to trust my judgement. Oh and he didnt dare make a disparaging comment as he knew how bloody hard it was to get a nice place in a good area.

On a happy note though, by Sunday afternoon we had 99% unpacked and made the place look and feel homely and cosy (it is very small compared to our last house). We started to relax and enjoy the fruits of our labour and even had my parents around for a BBQ so that mum could see where we were and indulge us with nice comments about our new home.

I started the week on a training course so my evenings were spent catching up on urgent work issues hence my extended lack of blogging. I'm happy to be back and have caught up with most blogs since my absence. I plan to be on regularly from now on :-)

So on the nutrition and training front all has been good. I missed 2 days of training right after moving day as I had higher priorities like unpacking. By Sunday I was back into it but I do have the massive challenge of no longer having a dedicated training room. Yep that room now also doubles as our study and getting to some of the equipment is tedious and awkward. So I'm looking to streamline my weight training down to the "bare essentials". Two sessions if possible, large muscle groups, supersetting and working within my space restrictions. I'm determined to make it work though! Cardio need not suffer while I can get out for a combination of walks / walk/jogs and jogging.

My "no diet" approach continues to work well for me. On some days I eat more and on others less so it all balances out just like normal life when you are not a slave to a formula or strict plan. But dont get me wrong, I still choose healthy foods most of the time and watch my portions but giving myself eating freedom has helped me to lose my "gorge now, diet later mentality". And I continue to feel great both physically and mentally and thats what really matters to me.

Finally I've saved the best til last as it almost deserves a post all of its own but I'm too excited to not share it now....

THIS MORNING I FITTED INTO MY SIZE 11 SKINNY JEANS AND I LOOKED AND FELT FANTASTIC :-)

Magda

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

GOING OFF LINE ......

....til we're all moved in and settled.

Tonight the computers and beds all get taken apart. Its moving day tomorrow.

I have completed 4 weights sessions this week to the best of my ability with an exercise room in total disarray. I plan to walk early tomorrow before the removalists arrive. I plan to be in good spirits for the day. Somebody needs to be. Hubbie is stressed to the eyeballs and he'll be AT WORK for it all.

See you all soon from my new address.

Magda

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

SAYING GOOD BYE TO THE METAL MONSTER

The thing I love the most about my "no diet" approach is the "no weighing on the Metal Monster or taking measurements" that goes with it. This is so liberating and its like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Let me explain.

I have never done the daily weighing thing. I just dont see the point. And when your system is slow and it might be every three days that things move, whats the point of daily weighing? At the most I'd weigh after "the move" or take it down to weekly but time it for "after the move".

So as a weigh-in approached I'd start to get anxious about it. If I'd been meticulously following my diet plan and training hard then I'd expect a really good loss on the scales. It was my right to have that and I absolutely expected it. So what if it didnt happen? Yep me being a big sooky lala would get all upset and at best I'd have a shitty day of being in a bad mood. At worst I'd eat my body weight in junk food because thats what I did. Hmmm that made for happy and calm Magda .... NOT!!!!

But if I hadnt been so good then I'd be fretting about what I'd eaten, what effect would it have, surely it wouldnt be too bad etc etc. There was no peace in my head and I'd step on the scales in trepidation dreading the number that would be thrown up at me because it would determine what sort of day I'd have.

The other scenario was the evening before the weigh-in would be one of watching everything I ate making sure it wasnt too much, too salty, too high in carbs etc. If I kept my portion quite small and limited it to protein and green veg then the scales often dipped unrealistically lower, lifting my mood higher. But a week later they'd even out and I'd be down in the dumps again.

So many shitty scenarios playing with my head, causing me anxiety and unhappiness. I tell you, over the years I could not form a happy friendship with that damned Metal Monster no matter what.

So I've let it go and I dont weigh myself now. I'm no longer regularly anxious or stressed or riding an emotional roller coaster. I judge my progress by how I look and feel and how my clothes fit. I've lived in this body for 46+ years and if I dont know it by now then when will I know it? Its time to listen, look , feel and trust my instincts and believe that I'll achieve the lean and toned body I desire and love the process of doing so.

:-) Magda

Monday, October 12, 2009

WHAT MY DAY CONSISTED OF

Well this morning I trained in my mess of an exercise room. It would have been so easy to just blow it off because I wasnt perfectly set up but I quickly talked myself out of that and set myself the challenge of devising an effective leg workout with what I had. So here's how it went:

1. Warm up on the exercise bike and prehabs using fitball and light leg extensions.
2. Squats with a 10kg plate - this was a light - moderate intensity for me and I rarely do them for that reason.
3. Stiff legged deadlifts. Because I didnt have my full range of weight plates these ended up being heavier than usual so I made up for the easy work on the squats (different muscle group I know but good to work HARD).
4. Split squats using the embarassingly light (2kg) dumbbells. OK I have glutes that are as weak as ***** so even with this piddly weight I'm working hard and I get very sore after. With a few of these under my belt over the weeks the weight will go up but not by a lot. Basically these kill me and I have a true love / hate with them.
5. Then to finish I supersetted leg extensions with hamstring curls just adjusting the weight by 5kgs between the two exercises.

Not bad considering my limitations. Then it was onto the bike for my 15 intervals of 30 secs each and then some steady state riding til the clock ticked 6am and I was all done. Happy. Happy.

So just to bore you all further today's meals were:

Breakfast: Protein/oat pancake with blueberries (cooked into it), sugar free maple syrup and a light sprinkle of LSA. Mug of white tea (no added milk)
On the way to work: skim cappuccino
Lunch: left-over tofu stir fry with some leftover fillet steak sliced into it
Afternoon snack (didnt have this in the morning as I just wasnt hungry): brown rice, thinly sliced cabbage and a tin of spicy chilli tuna
Dinner: tofu stir fry (different batch with different sauce).
During the day I drink several large mugs of hot water with lemon slices in it. Its delicious and keeps my water intake right up when I just dont feel like downing glass after glass of water in this cold weather.

Three more nights in our current house and then its moving day. Counting down now.

Cheers all

Magda

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT

We have spent the weekend attacking our packing with a vengeance. There are boxes everywhere, the place is a huge mess and we're well on the way to being ready for our Thursday move. We are so ready in fact that my super efficient hubbie has taken my rack to pieces which I was warned about so I made sure I got chest and back done this morning. What I didnt know is that he also packed away our set of free weights and dumbbells :-( Yep all gone back in the box and nowhere to be found. So I have 3 sessions to do this week : legs, abs and shoulders/arms. And I have the following equipment: Olympic barbell (weighing 10kgs) + standard barbell, 2 x 10kg plates, 4 x 5kg plates, 1 set of dumbbells @ approx 10kgs (not adjustable), 1 set of dumbbells @ 2kgs, push-up handles, Bosu and fitball and if I move a heap of stuff I can get to my adjustable bench. So this week I have to put on my "resourcefull PT" hat and come up with some improvised sessions for the above.

Food has been just great and I'm feeling good both physically and emotionally. Each day I'm balancing my nutritional needs and wants and eating a wider variety of foods than I was a few weeks ago. I've also ditched the old "eat every 3 hours rule" and I listen to my body and hunger signals and eat when I'm hungry and not when the clock says I should. In fact when I have a later breakfast as I often do on the weekend, I'm usually satisfied with 3 square meals and not 5.

Its also great to have the pressure of "forbidden foods" taken away. Because I allow myself to have what I want there is no judging food as to whether its good or bad or if I'm good or bad because I've chosen to eat it. We had dinner at my bestie's last night and she had made a cheesecake for dessert. Normally I'd be horrified and although I'd have it so as to not be rude and then chastise myself for being weak, now I enjoy it with gusto and there is no guilt or shame or beating myself up afterwards. Life is too short to not enjoy cheesecake with your friends every now and then.

So to cap off a very tiring but pretty good few days I'll just share 2 great things that happened to me within 2 days of each other. Two people told me I had lost weight. One's comments were "you're wasting away (well not quite but I know what she meant) and the other was "wow you've lost weight, you're much slimmer through here (pointing to her hips)". I smiled from ear to ear and just said "thank you". I must be doing something right.

Magda

Friday, October 09, 2009

THE DARKER SIDE OF MY DIET HISTORY

In the back of my mind today I've been deliberating over whether to post this or not. If I thought I was at risk of continuing or reverting to any of these behaviours then I gues I wouldnt talk about them but because I feel free of them now I feel ok about writing about them. Not sure what it'll achieve but here goes. Some of its a bit gross so feel free to exit now if you wish.

I have never been anorexic as I love food too much and could not imagine not eating to that extent. Yes there have been periods where I havent eaten much but I was still a long way from being anorexic.

Bulimia is another issue though. When binge eating becomes a regular feature in your life, yet you so desperately want to be thin, you go to almost any length to achieve your goal despite everything you do to sabotage yourself along the way. I can recall many instances where I had binged to the point of feeling like I was going to burst and then trying to make myself vomit. It never worked. But I tried it many times. But as for laxatives well that was another story. Down the hatch, a double dose for good measure and just wait for the unavoidable outcome. Aaah bliss, all the badness from the binge was undone in one (or maybe several) fowl swoop. Problem instantly solved and therefore a pattern that was repeated over and over again. I have paid the price dearly as I have the slowest system on earth and have even had a colonoscopy to make sure everything was ok down there and whilst its not 100% I should be ok. Aaah the stupid things we do when we are young and foolish.

Which leads me to my many "I'll just not eat diets". Oh I've lost track of how many times I got on that bandwagon. I even recall an appointment with my very sympathetic and understanding GP who in my teens could see my struggles. I remember him saying to me one day "even if you dont want to eat, just have a couple of Ryvitas. They'll give you energy and they have no fat and are actually good for you". Good advice under the circumstances. But I cant remember if I took it. I spent a lot of time not eating.

Then I spent time not eating fat and then not eating carbs. Low fat sucks. No carbs sucks even more. My brain stops working. No kidding. Its not just fuzzy. Its not functional full stop. I can manage on quite low carbs but there comes a point which I cannot go below and quite frankly I wont again.

I'm so lucky that somewhere along the way I found exercise that I enjoy. Aerobics was great for me and it eventually led me to weight training which I know is the bees knees. But I'm a cardio junkie at heart and always will be. I do make sure that I balance the two most of the time.

As for my eating, well it might not be great but you can see that I've come a long way. The best thing is that I know where I want to go and I feel positive about the decision I've made about the path I want to travel. I may not always know the best way to get there but I'll keep trying things until I find it.

You know when I see all that written down I think "wow you made things hard for yourself, didnt you?" but I guess thats what you get when you get caught up in body image issues at a very young age, low self esteem, lack of knowledge about good nutrition, no desire to be active and family pressure to eat up and enjoy your food. I guess we all have challenges to overcome, its just that some dont have the knowledge and skills to deal with them as well as others.

M

Thursday, October 08, 2009

MY DIET HISTORY

Reading Shelley's blog about diets not working (sorry cant link to it) brought back a flood of memories of my diet history. It started when I was in year 6 at school and already a bigish girl. We were doing gymnastics in PE and I jumped onto the ??? horse (cant even remember its correct name) and broke it. If that wasnt embarassing enough my slim, young, blonde and very attractive teacher made fun of me with a comment about having to diet and the seed was planted.

My first attempts at dieting were to drink big glasses of water before meals so I wouldnt eat as much. At a very young age (probably under 14) my mum took me to my first diet clinic and I was on a diet as such. I remember eating my prescribed meal for lunch and being hungry an hour later (I was a growing girl with a good apetite). I couldnt stick to it and I lost no weight (maybe even gained some) and was chastised when I had my weekly weigh ins.

My problem was that I was a great eater with a healthy appetite but I did no sport and was quite inactive. I have very poor hand eye coordination and was just basically not good any sports. My parents didnt nurture or encourage me in any so any semblance of weight management was going to be an uphill battle.

My teens were a struggle of losing a bit of weight and then regaining it but I cant remember how I did it. All I know is that I knew jack shit about good nutrition or the importance of exercise. Being in a European family where poverty had been well known, eating heartily and being a bit overweight was highly desired. Thin was definitely NOT in.

In my early 20s I joined Weight Watchers for the first time back in the days when their program was very basic and you ate a certain number of serves of the various food groups. Ironically the simplicity of this diet meant it was pretty clean as there was no scope of extra processed crap. Needless to say I lost a decent amount of weight but never hung around to learn maintenence so it always came back.

I have been on a diet just about every day of my life bar a few instances such as post comp (but by 4 weeks later I was trying to lose weight again) and that small window between giving up a diet and then finding all the weight coming back with a vengeance. In my uneducated days I believed the following at different times:

1. Meat was fattening so I would eat vegetarian quiche.
2. Anything low fat could be eaten in any quantity I desired. Hence low fat muffins and biscuits became my best friends.
3. Sugar was nowhere near as bad as fat.
4. Fruit juice was better than soft drink so I drank heaps of it.
5. Starving on one meal a day was the ultimate diet.

When you read that now you wonder what chance I had of ever getting lean and maintaining it. But I discovered aerobics and fell in love with it and at least I had movement in my life on a regular basis as I taught it from my mid 20s until this year. I also tried weight training back then but just couldnt warm to it.

So over the years I think I did Weight Watchers about 3 times, the Israeli Army Diet, the soup diet, the body wraps that sweat your fat off, the go to the gym and use the vibrating belt for exercise, the Magda diet, the whatever else I could get my hands on to try, give up, yoyo and be forever frustrated and unhappy with myself. One time in my 20s I managed to get my weight under 60kgs and have some scary photos of me in a size 8 dress looking almost skeletal. Gee I thought I was shit hot then.

So fast forward to more recent times. I now know so much more not just about food but about the psychology of diets. I've done it tough on a comp prep diet and got my body fat down to 12%. Not something that I could or would even want to maintain. But in the process I've also taught myself about clean eating and learnt what works for me both on the physical level and on the emotional one as well. One benefit of getting older is getting wiser (there arent many I can tell you LOL) and then waking up to the fact that there has to be a better way.

A way where there is freedom to enjoy the food you love without guilt or shame.
A way where you listen to your body and feed it when it needs it, not when the clock strikes 3 and its time to eat.
A way where every waking moment is not spent anticipating what the scales will say at the next weigh in and then having that number determine what sort of day you have.
A way where life is lived and not spent weighing, measuring, preparing, portioning, logging and analysing every morsel that passes your lips.
A way of life that promotes calmness and internal happiness.

Whats your diet history? I'd love to know.

:-) Magda

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

ANOTHER WORRY CLOUD DEALT WITH AND THE STEEP LEARNING CURVE

ANOTHER WORRY CLOUD

Well I spoke too soon as I had the worst night's sleep last night worrying about the move and planning out the logistics of it. I was still awake well after 11pm (way too late for me) and then at 3am hubbie's phone blipped, woke me up and that was it. No more sleep. I got up before 5, did my abs workout then did bike intervals 30 sec / 30 sec and then just kept riding for a total of about an hour. Time well spent under the circumstances me thinks. Today I booked the removalist and I know the procedure for picking up keys so maybe now that worry cloud will lift and let me get a good rest.

THE STEEP LEARNING CURVE

I continue to learn new things daily on my "no diet" journey but seeing its still early days, I guess the learning curve is rightly steep. When you have the freedom to eat what you want and life is not an endless string of diet meals you may not always be hungry at the 3 hour mark and you may not always need 5 meals a day.

I found this to be the case today. I'm a hungry person in the mornings and that 10am snack is VERY welcome but after lunch I lost my way a little. I tend to munch on sugar free lollies a bit after lunch and because I had been chomping my way through a few today I wasnt overly hungry for my cottage cheese and pear (yep diet food but I love them). But I thought ahead to that time between 5 and 6pm when I'd be starving if I didnt eat then and I ate the pear and cottage cheese. So dinner time rolled around and I wasnt hungry. I dawdled through making myself a tofu stir fry and then heated up left over pasta for hubbie. I was just starting to get a little hungry when it was done but in hindshight I could easily have waited another hour to eat. So lesson learned today is that I wont need 5 meals every day. If I'm not really hungry then I shouldnt be eating "because its time". I kept my dinner to a pretty small serve as I didnt need lots of food and will be a bit more mindful, in future.

Tomorrow is lunch with my friend and work colleague Miss J and we'll be having a champagne to celebrate my new home and I wont be stressing about what I can and cant eat. Thats one of the things I love about "no diets".

:-) Magda

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

A HUGE WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS .....

.... as we now have a place to live next week. Yes after scouring the rental market and kissing some frogs (the words of one of the Property Managers I met) we have been accepted for a charming little cottage with loads of character located about 3 kms from the CBD in a leafy no through road and walking distance to one of Adelaide's trendiest cafe and shopping precincts. Thank you God for not making me have to live in a dump as I was starting to fear at one stage.

Moving day is next Thursday and there is some major organising to do pretty quickly but I'm ok with that. Its the uncertainty of not knowing where home will be that causes me the most grief. In fact today I had a good dose of nervous runs as I waited for a verdict which came through latish tonight. At least I dont feel bloated LOL.

I'm embracing this "no diet" way of life but today's lunch wasnt the best choice. We cooked tandoori chicken on the Webber last night. Yummo. I made a salad with it for lunch today but it was a really cold day and I find salads disapppointing on cold days. Made up with a yummy dinner though. Peppered calamari with salad of spinach leaves, roast pumpkin, semi dried tomato, feta and pine nuts. Tummy was happy after that :-) So you win some, you lose some but its early days so its still very much a learning process. Oh and as for how much to eat. Yep lots of learning to do there. I'm usually ok with portions if I've made it and served it out but eating out is my biggest challenge. Or rather a mentality that says "my that tastes so good that I dont want to leave any of it". So will need to work on my thoughts around those situations when they arise.

Cheers for now and here's to a great week with no big cloud of uncertainty hanging over me any more.

:-) Magda

Monday, October 05, 2009

DEALING WITH DOMS - LOOKING INWARDS FOR UNDERSTANDING

DEALING WITH DOMS

Today I have DOMS pain in the legs that measures 8 on the Richter Scale. OMG it all hurts when I move, when I bend over, when I go to sit on the toilet and every minute of my waking day. It started last night and by this morning IT WAS FIERCE :-)

So to alleviate it I chose to go for a run this morning - I mean I couldnt feel any worse than I already did LOL.

I made a grave mistake this morning. I did a killer chest and back workout (before the run) and although my strength wasnt its best, I really pushed it hard and was shattered at the end. So what was my mistake? Doing this on the same day that I was going to scrub my oven clean LOL. That in itself would have been a decent workout I can tell you. Talk about being exhausted not once but twice.

LOOKING INWARDS FOR UNDERSTANDING

So my "no diet" lifestyle continues and as I'm doing it on my own I occassionally have some questions that I'm not sure about or wonder about certain situations. However I'm slowly coming to realise that the answers to those questions are inside me and that is where I must look for understanding. Previously I've turned to others or to diet rules to direct me but this is no longer the case. I tell you its a wierd feeling accepting total responsibility for and control over what I choose to eat, when I choose to eat it and in what quantity. But I'm calm and internally happy (not just on the surface) and thats such a good place to be :-)

Magda

Sunday, October 04, 2009

A DAY AT VICTOR AND WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO IN THE LAST 12 WEEKS

A DAY AT VICTOR

My thoughtful husband has been sleeping in the guest bedroom because he has the worst cough after his recent lurgy. This is very considerate as it means I have half a chance of getting a good night's sleep BUT it means that in the morning I cant use the training room as he is sleeping in the next room :-(

So training recently has been lots of walking and a little bit of running. The last time I did weights was last Monday. Until today and I did a leg workout of my choice. YOWSER they were feeling it when I finished. I'm sure there is some serious DOMS coming to visit every soon. Tomorrow being a public holiday here in SA means I'll slip in a chest / back workout and I'm looking good to complete four weights sessions for the week :-)

Our family went to Victor (Harbor - about 80kms south of Adelaide) for the day. We had such a great time. We played mini golf and I took out the wooden spoon. Our son played on the playground, went on the bouncy castle, went on a ride with me and rode the jaunty jalopies. We did a lap of granite island which was a mini workout on its own (a few steep hills) and then had hot cinnamon donuts before heading home. So today's food was lean and clean to start, a little dirty in the middle and lean and clean to finish. No guilt. No regrets. Just pure enjoyment as life should be.


WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO IN THE LAST 12 WEEKS

Twelve weeks ago (the same weekend as The All Females) I started working with Hilde from Get Active On Line. I had been floundering on my own (yet again) for some time and could see that I wasnt making any progress with my training. As for my eating, a few sessions with my Sports Psyche helped me immensely on that front so it was time to pull it all together and make some progress.

And make progress I DID.

1. I lost a total of 27.5cms (over 7 sites)
2. I lost 6 kgs (yeah I know I said I wouldnt weigh or measure but I wanted to report my end result to Hilds)
3. I did all this despite enthusiastically celebrating mine, hubbie's and my bestie's birthdays
4. I enjoyed a trip to Melbourne and ate dessert too many times and drank too much wine :-)
5. I trained more regularly than I've trained for a long time and harder too. I love getting a new program and just giving it my best.
6. And yes I did follow an eating plan until the last week or so and ate food that I loved and that made me feel good emotionally and physically.
7. I had my share of slip-ups (but nowhere near as bad as before) and some were tough, but with Hild's help I picked myself up and got going again. The last time was about a week or so ago and it was then that I made the decision to not diet any more.

I will continue to work with Hilde as I like accountabilty with my training but I'm in control of my food and there will be no more weekly weigh ins or measurement taking or checking body fat percentages. This is the best I've looked and felt for a long time and I plan to keep soldiering on MY WAY. I took some dreadful before photos but I dont have any after photos (hubbie is so over doing these for me that I hate to ask now) so I cant provide photographic evidence but thats not important to me anyway. What matters is that I feel great. I'm looking leaner. I'm much happier and I'm feeling quietly confident that my approach will work.

:-) Magda

Saturday, October 03, 2009

A FURTHER TWO CENTS WORTH

Well after being rivetted to my computer screen taking in all the "fierce discussion" I smile as I note the following.

1. Tara hit the nail on the head in her comment about words and how they are taken. From where I sit it looks like there has been some misunderstanding of people's (Shelley's) intentions. I was lucky enough to meet Shelley earlier this year when I was in Brisbane. She took the time and trouble to attend Liz's RPM class (not being a regular RPMer at the time) that I was also doing. In fact she sat just in front of me and worked her guts out making me look like an unfit wimp LOL. After the class Liz and I had a PT session and then it was time to relax and chill out. Although she was on her way home, Shelley took the time to come back, join us and have a lovely chat and I was lucky enough to get to know her better.

Since then we have emailed and she has offered some great advice and support when I hit hard times. I dont think she has ever made a negative comment about that fact that one day I would like to compete again. I understand (to some extent) where she is at and where she wants to go.

2. I admire Sue for all she has achieved in her body building career and in her very successful business. When I was a total loner having just moved to Brisbane in 2005 and knowing nobody, it was through Sue's blog that I was introduced to Figure competing. I couldnt wait to log on every night to read of her journey to the comps and those of Lia, Deb (Splice then), Kimmy and others. I was in awe and fascination and my desire to compete was ignited back then. Since then I have enquired about an IBO program and Sue was very helpful and approachable but deep down I knew that a 12 week program was not the answer for me.

So what's my point? (Sorry I tend to ramble). Well we have two beautiful well meaning people but with different perspectives on how to achieve their best life. The written word may not always convey the intention behind it. Sometimes you need to see it, feel it to fully understand it.

Three cheers to Liz for her brilliant analysis of the posts and presenting a different perspective. I have really enjoyed this discussion. And on that note, I'm off to veg in front of the TV after a lovely dinner of atlantic salmon with carrots and asparagus and a glass of red wine :-)

Magda

Friday, October 02, 2009

BLOGGING NEGATIVITY AND MY DISCUSSION

Wow what rivetting reading for a Friday night between Sue and Liz's blog posts. I bet Kristin never suspected her innocent post would attract such a debate.

So here is my 2 cents worth - fierce or not.

Firstly I have enjoyed reading every post that Kristin has blogged during her journey. Having "been there and done that" I could relate to just about all of it and was impressed by her strength and determination to stick to her prep plan. As a contrast I found myself constantly binging due to the very low calorie intake. Shortly after the comps were over I remember feeling just as she feels now and setting the goals ready to go for the next time. BIGGER. LEANER. MORE DETERMINED. Then something called "REBOUND" happened and no matter how hard I tried to stay lean (and I dont mean comp lean), train hard and focus on the next round of comps, my mind and body wouldnt let me. My body demanded refeeding and it was going to get it one way or another.

Fast forward on two years and up to 20 kilos later and I'm tired and fed up with dieting, always striving for a lower number on the scales. Dreading the weigh in or looking forward to the weigh in. Feeling elated because I had a good drop or feeling like sh*t because I didnt. Weighing, measuring, logging, not eating with my family because I want to lose weight, weight loss being the be all and end all.

Striving for an elusive number on the Metal Monster is no longer for me. I've battled with it for 2 years (well just about my whole life actually) and its just made me obsessive and been one of my binging triggers. Other bloggers have had similar experiences or may have very different stories to tell but we are commiting to a different approach. We still value good food and taking care of ourselves with good nutrition but the focus is off ACHIEVE, ACHIEVE, ACHIEVE. Its shifted to "take care of number one in a different way."

I know for me that setting very specific (SMART) long term goals has caused such huge stress and pressure that its been quite unhealthy and I need say no more. But I acknowledge that for other people, goals are what drive them. Ironically I'm far more goal orientated than my other half but that doesnt make him a lesser person. It makes him a different person who is driven by different things.

So the way I see it is that different things drive different people. My idea of being the best I can be and the next person's may be somewhat different and that's fine. (Geez we couldnt have a world full of figure competitors could we??) To get to be that "best person"I travel along Path X, the next person travels along Path Y. Deep down we are all looking at bettering ourselves but in different ways. And I'm sure that nobody is sitting on their couch stuffing down bacon double cheese burgers - although I will confess that I do love them :-) but I choose not to eat them.

Magda

Thursday, October 01, 2009

UPS AND DOWNS

After my first post for today my faith in mankind was restored and then destroyed again.

My black pants arrived in the post today. So I trotted to the post office and happily handed over $12 or so for them. Tomorrow I'll trace the email I sent and send it through again with a very big thank you to whoever arranged for them to be sent back.

Then just to let me down again I went to pick up my script for a nasal spray and just about had a heart attack at the price. I hadnt been warned that it was on the pricey side and the shock was a bit embarassing actually.

We have 2 rental applications in for properties we like and are viewing another one tomorrow that we REALLY like and have been invited back to (after being told they wouldnt consider a lease that was less than 12 months and a cat). After things looking very bleak on the rental front dare I say they are now looking up. So fingers are crossed that we get something very nice soon and then the fun of moving starts.

:-) M

PS BTW Mum's pizza was yummy. Was satisfied with 2 pieces (I usually have 3 and feel stuffed) and because we are both feeling cr*ppy, we turned down the wine.

THE CONTENTS OF MY NEGATIVE CR*P BOX

Hmmmm what to blog today?

Well despite feeling considerably better last night I've managed to take a downward turn overnight. At 3am hubbie went to the kitchen and coughed his guts up just so I could wake up and realise that my head was about to explode. Lots of coughing, on my behalf, later I managed to get back to sleep having turned off my alarm for my 5am training session. I doubted whether I'd be going back to work today.

Yep I woke up feeling AWFUL and have been to the doctor (not my regular GP) only to be told that I'm not sick at all. I have a severe case of hay fever and I have an ear inflamation that I've caused. I may be guilty of the latter (yes I do use cotton buds but from now on I'm to keep my ears dry ALL THE TIME to avoid this problem) but the former is laughable.

Its been one of the coldest and wettest spells here in Adelaide recently so what am I allergic to? Pollen? (too wet) Dust mites? (they are around all the time so logic would say I'd be like this all the time) oh and the best one was wait for it ....perfume!! Hmmm so something that I have worn every day for the last 30 years is causing me to have severe hayfever this week. So the doctor's orders were to not wear any fragrance and not have any smelly sprays or incense in my home etc (do I look like the incense burning type?). As for not wearing perfume, she may as well have told me to go to work without my top on.

This morning I finally spoke to somebody from the hotel we stayed at in Melbourne about a pair or nice black pants that I had left behind. I had called and emailed previously only to get no call back or reply. So the nice person who actually took the trouble to follow up my request (tell me how much money you need me to send so you can post them back) informed me that they have no black pants registered as lost property from our room. I told her they would have been hanging in the cupboard and hence I forget them (I didnt hang anything else up) but she was emphatic they had not been "found".

I was gobsmacked. The last time I had my black pants was in Melbourne and when I went to wear them a week later I didnt have them. One cant help but think that a nice pair of dressy Intimo pants with a rolldown waist in a light stretchy fabric (they would fit a lot of people) would look very attractive to somebody who found them. SHIT SHIT SHIT I loved those pants and I'm mighty pissed off now.

Enough said and moving right along as these issues sit in my "negative cr*p box" and I refuse to let them dominate my day.

So on that note I'm getting changed and heading out for some movement. I need fresh air. I need to connect with nature and I need to take action to make me feel better.

Magda