Saturday, August 11, 2007

NEGATIVITY CREEPING BACK IN

Yes I'm finding this journey is getting more and more difficult as time goes on. I'm still having good days where my eating is right on track and I'm enjoying the early morning cardio and weights but I'm struggling with consistency and I'm making some bad choices.

Deep down I know I shouldnt be doing this but I talk myself into it and convince myself that its ok (I'll be back on track tomorrow), I deserve it (I've done so well so far) or I need it (God only knows that no-one can survive on so little food for any length of time!!). Yes its diet that is the biggest challenge. When I'm going strong I'm invincible!! How then can the tide turn so dramatically (and more frequently now) and I'm stuffing up my progress all over again.

Things are cool at home and as time goes on it affects me more and more. I try to focus on what I have to do but I wonder if these difficult times will have a lasting effect on things at home. I look forward to the day when WH and I can sit down to a nice meal, share a bottle of wine, RELAX and enjoy each other's company without guilt or without feeling like I should be somewhere else (training or preparing meals).

Josh has told me many times to focus on the enjoyable aspects of this journey and I do try hard to stay positive. I just dont always succeed. I think some inspirational/motivational reading may well be in order if I'm to hold it all together and achieve my goal.

Good night all

Magda

7 comments:

kerryware said...

Magda,

Stick with the food plan. I know it's not much to work with but think of the big picture and how great you will feel up on stage. I have been drinking my water with diet cordial in it. (just too dull all this plain water)and plenty of tea and coffee. The odd treat of oats, protein powder and nut butter seems to take the edge off. I'll send you the recipe via a PM.

Hang in there coz the diet will do it for you.(Eddie said this to me the other day, "you can do it on diet and the weight program alone, but the diet's got to be great") and that's what I remember whenever it's gets tough going.

You and I WILL make it to the finish line together

Hilds said...

Hi Magda, keep going strong you have come so far and don't have that much further to go to reach your ultimate goal! I love reading your blog so keep posting and I hope things are a lot more positive for you soon. Hilds

Charlotte Orr said...

Hi Magda, I'm doing a show on October 6 too, so know where you're at. My husband and I miss being able to have a drink with each other as well, but I know how easily I go off the rails once I start drinking. It's only eight weeks to go (55 days!) so hang in there a bit longer. Cheers, Charlotte

Nic said...

Hi Magda,
I feel for you as I have been there and like you find the diet the hardest thing. Somehow the lower your weight gets the harder you body fights you not to lose any more - and it feels like a fight with yourself everyday! Just take it one day at a time and do the best you can each day. I'd like to say it will get easier but it won't. Pure determination needs to get you through and I can see you have that so know you will get there. Keep it rolling along. Nic

Pip said...

Hey Magda, - hang in there, - you're doing great!!!

Comp prep just sounds SOOO hard and I admire/like reading the journey of all participants.

I'm just thinking though, - I remember reading you are the same height as me, (1.71m) and 58kg. That sounds light!, - and you are now expected to drop some more fat and eat little! That's tough! A few years ago I was 58-60kg which has been my all time smallest since adulthood. I loved it, was fit - prob could have had a couple kilos more muscle and couple less of fat if I wanted to be really defined and work hard hard but I was really slim then and certainly couldn't imagine being any less than 58! Below 70 would be great these days!

You are doing mighty well!!

Pip

Hilary said...

You are doing so well Magda, remember you are so close to your goals now, and stepping on that stage is going to feel so awesome!! I admire you so much for what you are achieving, for me the diet would be the hardest thing too, especially giving up wine!

Hang in there - you can do it!!

Hilary xx

Ali said...

Like the others said Magda, hang in there, it isn't too much longer and you have worked so hard and come so far,

Alixx