REPORTING BACK

Dinner on Saturday went really well. I had my (healthy) snack before we left so wasnt hungry when we got there. Said no the alcohol (God you'd think I had just committed the world's worst crime, judging by the reaction of the others!!) and had very few nibbles and then enjoyed the meal without feeling stuffed. My "treats" were a small piece of garlic bread and a small piece of almond bread. I was happy. I drank tons of soda with lemon and still enjoyed myself.

Tonight we had dinner at my S+BIL's and I stayed off the grog again and ate very moderately. We had a baked snapper stuffed with a mixture of bacon, mushrooms, prawns and smoked oysters with various salads (not the healthiest but not too deadly). Desert was fruit and endless types of chocolate and I managed to stay saintly and have only the fruit.

The family is going for a holiday to Fiji in March and everyone (except me) is desperate to lose weight before we go. They're all setting 5 or 10 kilo target losses and calling it "The Biggest Loser - Fiji". I'm quietly chuckling to myself at what they believe they can do or need to do to lose the weight. Only my WH knows the cold hard facts and I'm hoping he takes out the prize (winner gets their duty free purchased for them on the way home).

Cheers all

Magda

SO HOW IS YOUR SATURDAY GOING??

I woke up feeling really good (again). But my IPod needed charging so the run I was planning to do got swapped for an exercise bike ride, reading Womens Health and Fitness. It was still an OK workout.

For breakfast today I had 1/2 a 9 grain muffin with a small piece of lean grilled bacon, an egg and mushrooms on the side. Very nice!!

BS and Iwent out briefly to take care of some chores and then home for lunch. Today I stirfried a leftover packet of coleslaw veggies in chicken stock, low salt soy sauce, ginger and chilli and had some with tuna and brown rice. Another yummy and satisfying meal. Then I dragged out my overflowing ironing basket and got stuck into it all. Its empty now which is a great feeling. BS and I also played Trouble (I love that game and remember playing it when I was a little girl) and Uno. He won both games :-)

I've just polished off a Nestle Diet Lite peach and mango yogurt with a chopped peach and a sprinkle of chopped walnuts. My water intake has been excellent.

So with all those runs on my board I'm planning to not get out the minute we land at my friend's house for dinner tonight. She always has the yummiest food and I find it VERY hard to resist.

My plan: NO ALCOHOL and enjoy the food in moderation. Sounds easy but for someone who automatically goes back for seconds when they love what they've had, thats a big ask. But that is my intention.

I want to walk away from the visit feeling satisfied, happy and pleased that I didnt lose control and end up stuffing myself silly, or having too much to drink.

Stay tuned to hear how I went.

Cheers all

Magda

REFLECTING ON 2007

Today as I cleaned my house I thought about the year that was, or should I say, still is 2007. What an absolutely amazing ride it has been and in a couple of days time we say good-bye to it and welcome in 2008. So here's my take on my 2007.

JANUARY: I started the year with a dose of post-Christmas weight gain after a week away and doing my bit for finishing off Christmas leftovers. Hmmm had to train extra hard to get back to where I was before the Christmas holiday and I did it. This year I stopped eating anything junky on Boxing Day and therefore minimised any Christmas weight gain. Score One for me for Jan 2008 (when it rolls around).

FEBRUARY: The family travelled to Sydney to celebrate SIL's 40th birthday. We had a fantastic time staying in a luxurious 3 bedroom apartment in the city and seeing Priscilla Queen of the Desert was certainly a highlight that weekend. Training suffered a bit on that holiday but nothing that couldnt be made up quickly once back home.

MARCH: My SIL and her (then) fiance arrived in Adelaide and had bought a house a couple of suburbs away from where we live. Our social life kicked into overdrive with regular barbies, nights out at The Fringe and casual get-togethers. Things became a little more challenging when it came to eating clean but I persevered.
In late March we had another Sydney holiday this time with my best friend and her husband. More eating out, drinking, shopping and neglected training - which came as a bit of a godsend anyway as I had fallen over on one of my runs and had hurt my knee so a bit of forced rest was good.

APRIL: BS turns 5. We have all of our friends over for a celebration and for the first time I dont overeat in a social setting and I DRINK NO ALCOHOL. OMG I actually can do it if I really want to. Somewhere in there Easter happens but as I'm not a chocolate lover my only temptation is hot cross buns, toasted with butter. I buy VERY few and survive it basically unscathed. Going strong.

MAY: By now my training is really ticking along. I am so much leaner and am feeling some muscles growing. I hit 61.5 kilos at the end of May and it feels fantastic after starting off at 72.6 the previous December. Then I have a week of just not wanting to do the diet stuff anymore and I eat what I want, only confessing this to Josh (my trainer) once I've done it. The good thing is that after that week I'm ready to hop straight back onto my diet and training plan.

JUNE: In early June I crack the "under 30 mins" for my 5k run. I now have an early morning training partner too - hi Kristy :-) - and its so motivating having someone slog it out with you on those cold dark mornings. My mood is generally good but I have my down days and my hard times but I'm getting really excited about being 12 weeks out from comp at the end of June. So on the eve of 12 weeks I have a girls night in with my beautiful SIL and we share a pizza and a bottle of red wine. Now I'm ready to crank up the dieting and training. BRING IT ON!!

JULY: I start my comp prep really strong despite my mum having a heartattack (she is ok after it) and being broken into whilst we were home asleep - all in 1 day. My meals are pre-prepared and I just get on with it. Josh was happy with where my weight was at 12 weeks out and its all systems go. My birthday dinner at The Manse is superb and I have permission to eat what I want, including cake but not to stuff myself. I do as I'm told LOL. Things get a bit wobbly after this and I panic that I've blown my chances of competing. Luckily Deb and Alicia come to my rescue and put my mind at ease about my slip-up.

AUGUST: A difficult month. At the 57kg mark I hit a major mental hurdle. WH doesnt like the way I'm looking and so emotionally I'm a mess. I lose some weight, I regain it and I do this over and over again until I tell myself that I have to put aside WH's feelings and do what needs to be done. Not easy but I manage it. I think its was in August too that I got the opportunity to compete at the Championships in Sydney and after much debate we agree that I (we) should go. YIPPEE!!

SEPTEMBER: Last month before the comps in early October. I'm struggling along. Feeling the cold terribly. Tired. Cranky. The diet is STRICT and the training is punishing but the finish line is near. I have some posing coaching and my routine professionally choreographed and I practice heaps. WH has his birthday and I have a small indulgence. Josh is NOT pleased but WH is and that matters more right now.

OCTOBER: Well its finally here. On October 6th I make my Figure debut in the SA WNBF titles. Its a small show with very few female competitors but I cant control that. The night before the comp I'm overcome with emotion that I have done it. I have made it from Fat Girl at 72.6kgs to Figure Girl at 55kgs. I'm happy with how I look and I'm darned proud of what I've achieved so on the day I'm beaming from ear to ear every second that I'm on that stage.
This is followed up with the Championships (which I actually did qualify for in the end) in Sydney a week later and another awesome experience on stage with some VERY tough competition.
We finish October with the best holiday ever and I eat and drink without stressing about how I'm going to have to work it off. Life is great.

NOVEMBER: Post comp is a funny time. At first I enjoy not having the pressure to train or diet but I find it hard to find my "happy place". I have my ups and downs but I finish the month within the weight limit I wanted to maintain.

DECEMBER: I wish I could write a heap of really good things about this month but in all honesty I cant. I have struggled with my eating and my motivation for training has been dismal at times. I gained more weight than I wanted to but it was the emotional struggle that affected me the most. I'm so lucky that Liz (Nelson) came to my rescue and started to help me out of my hole. As I sit here typing away a few days after Christmas I can proudly say that athough I didnt eat clean or healthy on Christmas Day, I got straight into it on Boxing Day. I've NEVER done that before. Score another one for me.

So there is my recount of 2007. Interspersed with all that I recall times sitting in my exercise room crying my eyes out and wondering if I'd ever make it. My posing coach kicked off our working relationship with some negative comments about my body/weight, sending me off on a binge just to make what was already tough, even tougher. My poor WH could not believe what a comp prep actaully involved and many a time he struggled with it far more than I did.

Along the way I learnt many things like:

You cant expect to conque
r binge eating when you are dieting strictly. The diet fuels the binges and it is clearly a no-win situation.

Very few people understand what body building competitions involve. 99.9% of them will think you're crazy for doing it.

I actually like brussel sprouts (just prefer to NOT have them for breakfast!!LOL!!!)

There is the best support network in the bodybuilding world both through blogging and Josh's forum. I made some wonderful new friends (hi Kerry, Stacy, Cheryl, Tania, Deb, Alicia, Liz, Fern and more!!) and I love having these people to talk all things competing, training and dieting.

In the end despite all the hardship and tough times I NEVER GAVE UP and I proved to myself that I had it in me to take on something tough and apply myself with guts and determination and ACHIEVE MY GOAL.

I'm really looking forward to 2008 where I want to learn another way to prepare for comps and hopefully bring an even better package to thes tage in my 2nd year.

Cheers all

Magda

THANKS FOR THE COMMENTS ON MY LAST POST

Hilary: my WH also hates women with muscle but luckily figure girls dont have to carry too much. I could never do full on body building to compete in physique though. I just dont think he could live with that.
In the end though, making the decision to compete was more a mental thing and a test of my determination, and dedication to getting the job done and that was what my WH was supporting and respecting. It meant a lot to me knowing that I had it in me to see it through no matter how hard it got.

Cat: I also believe in leading by example but I'm not getting any followers. Unfortunately everyone in my family lives to eat and eats for pleasure and WILL NOT give up the foods they enjoy. So I'm a bit of an island there but on the other hand I'm also the island when it comes to being fit, slim and toned (most of the time). So I can live with that :-)

Rene: thank you so much for that lovely compliment. Its really put a smile on my face today (not that I was sad before). I guess I'm a victim of being my own worst critic but am working on overcoming that.

Rae: yes 2008 is looking brighter already and god knows we can all use less stress in our lives when we are preparing for comps LOL!! I checked out your blog today and loved the slide show!! Arent you AND Sheree a couple of hotties. (I cant believe your single).

Cheers

Magda

THE FRIJ AND PANTRY CLEANOUT

Today I had the pleasure of binning 1/3 of a pavlova, 2 spicy sausages and a bowl of pasta salad. New BIL (brother-in-law) picked up the ILs so they could stay with them for a few days. I managed to send with them: a block of Toblerone, a packet of Tim Tams, a container of pickled octopus, 2 packets of unopened dips. I froze the leftover cheesecake (for WH) and a box of mince pies (they'll test me out at times). The frij looks normal now - not like I have enough food to feed a small 3rd world nation.

After just one day of eating 99% clean and drinking over 5 litres of water I weighed in 2kgs lighter this morning. Thats a good dose of post-Christamas bloat gone and I'm feeling better already. I think from here on any loss should be fat so thats encouraging.

As intended I ran this morning and was puffing pretty hard even though I wasnt cracking any earth shattering speeds. My average heart rate for the 34 min session was 153 BPM. YOWSER!! No wonder that run felt so hard. I felt great having achieved it though as training has been sporadic lately so I cant expect any miraculous results.

Eating wise I had another good day with more fish, veges and my yummy protein pancake with banana and sugar free maple syrup for breakfast. A bit high in calories but all good ones and just too delicious for words :-)

Today I made my MIL and BS walk to our local shops. We only needed a few things and it was such a lovely day that I refused to use the car and be so lazy. Plus both MIL and BS could well use the (little bit of) exercise. BS whinged all the way as he had been dragged off his X Box and I'm not sure how much my MIL enjoyed it as I later found out that she thought it had been too hot to walk. (Honestly!!We dawdled for 10 mins there and 10 mins on the way back).

Then the rest of the day was spent catching up on Women's Health and Women's Health and Fitness magazines, reading blogs, playing with BS and pottering around home. For 2 days I've lived in shorts and a T shirt with NO MAKE - UP. I've relly enjoyed it.

Today I received more info about how my nutrition and training will look over the following year and this is really exciting. Some changes are in store from how I prepped this year so I'll be very curious to see how I go and just how much I can improve. Oh and WH is just taking it all in his stride when I say no to the alcohol, junk food etc so making the sacrifice is just that little bit easier. Life is pretty good right now!!

Cheers all

Magda

SOME MORE CHRISTMAS HIGHLIGHTS

Well the big day is history now and the excitement has faded and life returns to some normality (which is a very good thing!!). In my excitment on the day I wanted to write about some of the more significant things that happened. This is the first opportunity I've had with some time to myself to be able to do this.

My ILs are staying with us (they are from Brissie) and the days are busy and long - hence why last night I was up past 11pm blogging. Its my "unwind/me" time and I'm not working so the late nights are managable. (I may be doing my ironing tonight though Lia LOL!!!)

So back to the big day ..... my WH surprised me yet again with a very thoughtful comment that just meant so much to me. We were awake early and talking about Xmas pressies. I had (jokingly) put a smith rack on my Xmas list :-) and so I asked him if he'd bought it for me. He said no but that I could get one. I thought he was joking but he insisted he wasnt and said that he knew how much I wanted to compete again and having this piece of equiment at home would really help with my training. He was totally ok with me training to compete again and this is what meant SOOOO much to me.

You see 2007 was a very tough year for us. My WH is NOT into bodybuilding at all. He has no interest in it and it went as far as him hating what I did in order to be able to compete. There were some very tough times where I had to put all that aside and just keep pushing on, knowing how he felt about it. But being the WH that he truly is, he supported me in both shows and in Sydney he was changing his (negative) tune.

So I've let it all lie the last few months, not wanting to rush back into the "yes I'm competing again (whether you like it or not)" scenario and now I dont have to. I feel like I have his blessing and that means EVERYTHING to me. Oh and I'll be shopping for that smith rack as soon as the folks go home and things settle back down to true normality.

He also said there was another thing that I could get that I've wanted for a long time but I'll keep that under wraps as its well into the future and no point getting prematurely excited now.
God I feel so lucky and so blessed to have such a wonderful family.

Cheers all

Magda

DAY 1 OF MY NEW TRAINING PROGRAM

Just a quick post as its so late.

I had a fantastic Christmas where I was thoroughly spoilt with wonderful, generous presents. I ate what I wanted and tried to not have too much but weakened when it came to some of my favourites. I'm glad the eating is over (that sounds odd doesnt it!!).

Today our family got together to share the leftovers, have a few more drinks, talk and play games. I resisted all the goodies that I knew werent going to help me achieve my golas and stuck to the leftover seafood and salads. I drank over 5 litres of water / white tea as well and already feel a heap better than I did this morning or last night.

WH and I got out for a walk as well. Very light - moderate exercise for me but a good way to ease back in after a day ort two of indulging. Tomorrow will be a jog and maybe some weights as well. I expect to drop a kilo or 2 fairly easily and then I have about 2-3 kgs to lose to get to a weight that Liz has set as an initial goal.

Will write more tomorrow as my bed is beckoing at this late hour.

Cheers all

Magda

A UNIQUE CHRISTMAS - SANTA BROUGHT US A WEDDING

Christmas Eve at our house. I hosted my 2nd dinner for 10 people within a week. I love this pic of us as it really captures our fun spirits and love for each other. Our whole family was together sharing good food, a few drinks and lots of fun and laughter. What more could you ask for?





My WH organised this surprise gift for me. My dad made the frame and WH provided the comp photo. Now that I know about it, my medals will be fitted around the photo and my 2007 comp achievements will be forever immortalised. I've decided to place it in my exercise room so that it spurs me on to even greater things in 2008.

Congratulations to Mr and Mrs L. Thats my SIL with her husband right after their surprise wedding ceremony before Christmas lunch today. It was the perfect day for the happy couple who wanted a very casual wedding and decided to keep it all a surprise. There was barely a dry eye amongst us as they exchanged their vows.

I have so much more that I want to write about but it'll have to wait til tomorrow. Its late. I'm tired and my bed beckons.

Cheers all and I hope your Christmas Day was as fabulous as mine.

Magda

WISHING EVERYONE A MERRY CHRISTMAS

I suspect the lead up to Christmas Day will be very busy. I finished work today (phew!!) but there's still a lot to do before I can put my feet up and just enjoy the day.

In case I dont get to blog before then I'd like to wish everybody in blogland a very Merry Christmas and a fit and healthy New Year. Thanks to everyone who has taken interest in my blog and left comments of support and encouragement during this amazing year. Its been one helluva ride and 2008 is shaping up to be even more challenging and exciting.

I have some very specific goals for next year and am looking forward to taking the first steps towards them. I wish you all best in your health and fitness endeavours and hope that you experience the joy of achieveing all you set out to do.

Cheers for now

Magda

OPERATION OVERHAUL IS ON THE HORIZON

The ILs arrived last night and we had our nice family dinner at SIL’s. No camera so no snaps. MIL greeted me with “you’re looking good” with the smile to match. I wont tell you what I was thinking. Some things are just better left unsaid so I smiled back and said “thank you”.

I still have very sore legs but I got up early and ran – well dragged myself along – for 30 minutes. Yowser I felt heavy, unfit and lethargic. There’s no doubt that I’ve lost fitness with the extra weight, poor eating and inconsistent training.

This will all change starting on December 26th. Yes my new training program, my new (and hopefully final) attempt at embracing a permanently healthy lifestyle kicks off on Boxing Day which I have renamed “Operation Overhaul” (OO) Day. I’m feeling very positive about starting on that day. Firstly, its not a Monday. The old “starting a diet on Monday” mentality is doomed for failure in my opinion. Its also NOT a new year’s resolution (another mentality that’s doomed for failure). Being off work will make a big difference too and I’m determined to manage my social life in with my goals while my ILs are here. I’m not letting that be an excuse to further delay starting. Its also 37 1/2 weeks to the WNBF comp in Adelaide and time to get cracking on building a nice round booty.

I’m hosting dinner for 10 people tonight. WH will do most of it on the barbie though – love steaks and chicken kebabs – and I’m resorting to The Cheesecake Shop for dessert (I still have to work all day). We have a new outdoor setting to assemble before people arrive. Plus salads and veges to get ready. I expect I’ll be really buggered when its all over.

Cheers all

Magda

PS Thanks to those who left comments on my last post. Now I know just who the other blogger tragics are LOL

MY LEGS ARE KILLING ME!!

Today I’m suffering from major DOMS through my legs. That’s the price I’m paying for leaving too long between leg workouts and only dropping my weights down slightly, if at all. So couple this with the after-effects of the massage and I’m living today in pain, yet again.

Despite being so sore I got up at 4.50am again and did a chest/tris workout and a short cardio session on my exercise bike. Whilst my diet may not be great, at least I’m training and not letting myself become a total sloth. The ILs are arriving from Brissie this evening and we’re all having dinner at SIL’s tonight. It should be a great evening as the family gets together for the first time since Feb this year.

This morning I was really looking forward to getting to work (very unusual!!). I was hoping that Liz had replied to my email yesterday and she had!! YIPPEE!!! I’m so excited about what is around the corner for me. More on that soon.

I notice that blog posts have really dropped off lately which is understandable at this time of year. However I do feel disappointed when I check my favourite bloggers and there is no update. So ladies if you have a spare minute, whack something in your blog to keep the likes of tragic blog addicts like myself happy.

I’ve still got to arrange a pic of my new do. Maybe I’ll get a snap tonight. Some family happy snaps may be in order too.

Cheers all

Magda

LACKING ENERGY AND NURSING BRUISES

I set my alarm for 4.50am today so that I could do a solid hour of training before anything else occupied my day. I did 30 mins of leg work followed by 30 mins of cardio. The room was a bit hot and stuffy so I worked up a nice sweat.

Funnily today the training left me totally lacking energy despite eating VERY well for breakfast. I arrived at work feeling totally exhausted and even one of my colleagues asked if I was ok because I looked “tired in the face”. I tell you I would have given my right arm to be able to go home and go back to sleep. I think my “newly flowing energy” just flowed right out of my body overnight.

I wonder if this is connected to my killer massage. Today I can feel bruises in all the spots where I was massaged very firmly. There are hundreds and many are sore to touch. So physically I’m not feeling too good today, in fact I’m struggling through the day as I write this.

But on a happier note, I’ll be kicking off my formal training soon. I’m looking forward to having a structured program and somebody to guide me who I’m accountable to. I get excited just thinking about it and am keen to get stuck into day one in the week after Christmas when I’m off work. (Hopefully that’s not putting too much pressure on my new trainer!!)

Well I better sign off and focus again on feeling sorry for myself LOL. I guess I better toughen up though as this pain is but a warm-up to what I’m about to experience over the next 9 months I suspect :-) :-)

Cheers all

Magda

A NEW DO AND RELEASE OF CHAKRAS

Today was a maintenance day starting with a visit to the chiro. Everything between the waist and the knees was really tight and sore and a treatment was well overdue. I was in agony while the chiro pressed and stretched and cracked all the bits that werent quite right.

Then I managed to get an appointment with the masseure for the afternoon and I had a SERIOUS session of releasing tight muscles and working on the meridians (or chakras) to free up my flow of energy. The treatment was agonising again but when it was over I felt fantastic. I actually did feel like I had more energy. I drank heaps of extra water like the massuere recommended and I found myself not craving sweets and junky food as much as I have been lately. The masseure explained that I would be detoxing after the treatment which I figured was a good thing as my diet hasnt been great lately.

In between these times of torture I also got my hair coloured and cut into a slightly different style. I didnt want it cut short as I'm enjoying it being longer but I felt it was looking a bit ratty and in need of a lift. I love my new do. Its more of a bob and I now have a hair straightener to get the look right (I hope!!). If I didnt look so crappy right now, I'd take a snap and post it up but the end of the day is not my "best time" so you'll have to wait until I'm looking better before I share it with you.

Diet and training still not where I want them to be but I have better intentions for tomorrow which will be a bit more of a normal day. At this really hectic time of year I'm now aiming for 30-60 minutes of exercise a day and fitting it in in the morning before work. Mind you, as of Wednesday night the in-laws will be here so using the exercise room in the morning wont be an option (too noisy for them) so some creative thinking will be required to come up with an effective outdoor session (or two).

Cheers all

Magda

MUMMY IS AN OOMPALOOMPA

Oompaloompa: a short, round object; a fat person; somebody roleypoley

BS has been enjoying a new X Box game which we hired for the week. The oompaloompas are in the game. Thats as much as I know about that.

This afternoon WH is talking to BS about the game and the "oompaloompa" term comes up. I ask about it and get the explanation given above. So then WH says to BS "Do you think mummy is an oompaloompa?" and the cheeky little so and so says loudly "YES" :-0

Ok its time to stop making excuses, stop playing the poor victim, stop living like there's no tomorrow and eat clean, train hard and join the ranks of the non-oompaloompas once again.

BS has spoken and should not be ignored.

Cheers all :-) :-)

Magda

THE WISE MAN HITS THE NAIL ON THE HEAD - AGAIN

WHY PEOPLE SEEM TO BE STUCK LIVING IN FAT CITY:

7. Our inability to finish things.

We start jogging. We stop. GUILTY
We go on a diet. We go off it. DOUBLE GUILTY
We join a gym. We go five times. PHEW, NOT GUILTY ON THIS ONE (I TRAIN AT HOME)
We make resolutions. We don't follow through. PREVIOUSLY, VERY GUILTY
We lose fat. We regain it. LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY TIMES - PROBABLY A SQUILLION (WHICH IS THE WORLD"S BIGGEST NUMBER)
We start. We stop. ABSOLUTELY GUILTY - WOULD WIN THE GOLD FOR THIS ONE
We get fit. We get unfit. A LITTLE GUILTY - NOT MY WORST OFFENCE
We operate on emotion. IS THERE ANOTHER WAY??
We always find a 'reason' to give up. PREVIOUSLY - YES!!
We experience momentary motivation, but we never truly commit. Real commitment ("I will do this no matter what") creates life-long change, not temporary weight loss or occasional fitness. TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN.

Thank you Mr Harper. Once again, you've hit the nail on the head.

Cheers

Magda

HELLO HAPPY ZONE

Well I’m certainly back in my “Happy Zone” (she says feeling calm, confident and in control). I love these phases and when I feel REALLY good, I just want to bottle it and keep it on hand for the slumps.

I set out for my run this morning and CHOSE to do sprints. No “oh I better do sprints” or “I’m only sprinting only coz I feel I have to”. I pounded my little sprint track of approximately 100 metres 14 times for a total of 20 minutes. Perfect as I had an earlier start to travel to the country for work.

Food wise I was strong and in control today. A visit to a country bakery to buy a cool drink saw me buying just that. No cakes. No hot food. Nothing else junky. Just a cool drink. I had packed a nice salad of various veges, wholemeal pasta, a nice flavoured tuna and very light dressing of low fat mayo / BBQ sauce / sweet chilli sauce. It was delicious. That was a win for me.

My only downfall today is the 3 cans of Diet Coke I had to keep me awake on the country drive. No matter what, I get really sleepy when doing country driving on my own and so I drink (cold) Diet Coke for the caffeine hit which does keep me alert. I know its bad for my insides but I figure its better to have bad insides than to be dead from falling asleep at the wheel (which has happened to me once before).

Oh and I almost forgot to mention that I weighed myself this morning. I’m heavier than I want to be as my weight has gone up again but I’m not surprised and maybe that’s why I’m not having a negative reaction to it. So even with this I’m still in my Happy Zone. How good is that??!!

Cheers all

Magda

PRIVATE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

I must confess that I havent been blogging as regularly lately as I've been going through another one of my darker times. Motivation has been a bit woeful, consistency ... whats that?? and as for bad habits - well I've been living with them daily.

I've been wondering if this is still the effect of the post-comp-slump that you hear so much about or is it just me - going round in circles coz I havent chosen a direction that I want to travel, a destination that I want to reach. Or maybe I have chosen it but am not ready to go public with it just yet.

There are times when my mind works over-time analysing everything to the nth degree (I think thats the Virgo in my WH rubbing off on me LOL) and last night was one of those times. I lay in bed and thought through all the emotions, actions, beliefs and outcomes of the last couple of weeks and came to realise some key things:

1. I have the tools to make this work, to gain control over my eating and to maintain that control at a level that is healthy and good for me. I'm not saying that I can go it entirely alone - I plan to get help with it but having that self belief is the most important thing right now.

2. I need to have a goal and I will feel good working towards achieving it. I need a plan to achieve that goal and structure in my training and nutrition. This "lost soul" feeling doesnt sit well with me and I dont want to live my life from day to day just doing a bit of this or a bit of that.

3. I too must put the bad events of the last few weeks behind me and look forward. I've had my good times when I felt strong and in control but when that feeling went, I didnt cope or handle things well at all. Now I must strive to not dwell on that but build small positive steps forward.

I'm amazed at how much I get from reading other people's blogs. When somebody writes about how good they are feeling or how well they are progressing I'm genuinely lifted up along with them. If I read about personal struggles I can empathise and I realise I'm not alone. Whilst I feel sad for that person, I feel a little less sad for myself.

So tomorrow I tackle another day. I plan to run in the morning and then I'm travelling to the country for work. On Friday is my work's Christmas lunch and this year I will eat well and have a few drinks. I chose not to last year and I felt like I had "missed out". Socially it'll be a busy time leading up to Christmas and my goal will merely be to not gain any more weight. Then I plan to get stuck into a new training and nutrition program with a huge smile on my face.

Oh and I plan to blog more regularly ... but not with a heap of negative cr*p :-)

Cheers all

Magda

MY DISTURBING INCIDENT - THE CONCLUSION

I set out to run this morning and kept mulling over the events of last Thursday. I have decided to keep running in my suburb as buying a treadmill is out of the question and I dont have time to travel to other possible running places (I need to be finished by 6am). I always have my phone with me as a small safety measure. Sadly buying a dog isnt an option as it would be the loneliest most neglected animal while we are away long hours at work.

What I've decided though is to stay in the side/back streets and not venture too far from home. I will only use the main roads at busier times (like on weekends when I run later). So I picked a nice circular route that took me no more than 1-1.5kms from home and repeated it 3 times. I felt ok until I heard a hotted up car rev its engine some distance from me but then realised that it wasnt nearby and was not a threat. I calmed back down then. I guess I'll be a little bit edgy for a while but thats understandable.

Thanks again to everyone who left good suggestions and advice for me. I really appreciate your help and your concern.

Cheers

Magda

THE QUEEN OF CLEAN

Please note that I'll write more about my disturbing incident tomorrow. I've just about made up my mind as to what I'll do but will think it over once again before I decide. Thanks to everyone who left comments. I've picked up some good tips and some food for thought.

Today I was the "Queen of Clean" as I tackled my annual spring/Christmas clean. I have worn the nail polish off most of my (acrylic) nails on my right hand :-( and I have aching shoulders, middle and lower back and hip flexors that are as tight as a cat's bum. I attacked the window tracks, cleaned windows and dusted the venetians. I gave the ensuite a really good going over and cleaned every inch of the study, master bedroom and lounge room. I have finished 1/3 of the house :-( My lord there is still so much to do!!

My training has really taken a back seat the last few days. I have done nothing for 3 days and am feeling less that "ideal" for it. Couple that with some less than ideal eating and I'm confessing that there's plenty of room for improvement in this camp. Yes things have slipped into a not so good pattern but I will turn it around and make my fitness and health the highest priority again(which I admit it always should be).

Over the next 2 or so weeks it'll come down to some clever time management. Fitting in: work,
training, finishing the cleaning, finishing the Christmas shopping and wrapping presents, finalising the Christmas celebration preps etc etc.....I can feel a list coming on.

I hope everyone is better organsied than I am ... or should I say "better advanced than I am". I'm not disorganised, just in need of an extra couple of weeks thanks.

Cheers all

Magda

A DISTURBING INCIDENT

I've been in 2 minds as to whether to write about this as in hindsight its a bit of a non-event but the fact that I'm still troubled by it means it was significant to me.

PLEASE NOTE: I LIVE IN A MIDDLE CLASS SUBURB WITH NICE HOMES IN IT. ITS NOT POSH OR UPPER CRUST AND YOU WOULDNT EXPECT IT TO HAVE A HIGH CRIME RATE ..... BUT IT DOES.

Yesterday morning I was out for one of my usual early morning runs. It was around 5.45am and broad daylight. I was on a semi-main road (one connecting 2 main roads) in my suburb when I got hollered at by some hoons in what was like a hoon version of wolf whistles. It unsettled me a little as its pretty deserted around that time of day even though there are homes nearby (as I never run in totally deserted/uninhabited areas). I picked up my pace and was not far from home anyway.

A little bit later I decided to run a little longer and was in a side street tucked well away in my suburb. The same car drove up to me, slowed down and the scruffy, unsavoury looking male passenger asked me if I knew where there was a public phone box. A second car very similar to the first was behind and had also slowed down.

OMG I DIDNT LIKE THAT AT ALL!!!!!!!! (I answered no twice and kept running and they drove off). I picked up my pace and ran FAST to my home which was only a couple of minutes away by then. So many (negative) thought were racing through my mind and I was quite frightened.

I would just like to add the following:

1. I was not dressed in a revealing or "put it out there" way. No shorts, no crop top just long pants and a long sleeved T shirt. Very ordinary if you ask me.
2. To drive past me the 2nd time they would have had to look for me. That was no coincidence. And who uses public phones these days?? NOBODY!! Everybody has a mobile and if there are 2 of you and 1 has a flat battery the chances are the other one doesnt.
3. I was honestly contemplating hopping into a house about 100-200 metres away as one of my work colleagues lives there and I knew she would understand if I needed a refuge.

Mind you after seeing me close up - no make-up, hot, sweaty, very unglam they probably were happy to just drive off LOL!!

Then to really put the icing on the cake I was lying in bed last night with the front door open and only the security door locked for protection and I could hear in the not too far distance lots of yelling, tyres screeching and hoon carry on. It disturbed me and left me feeling not quite 100% safe.

So do I ignore this incident and keep running early as I've been doing up to now, sometimes getting 3-4 kms away from home? Do I keep running early but stay MUCH closer to home (eg street sprints)? Or do I limit myself to cardio on my exercise bike and rower? (I'm not a gym goer so thats not an option for me).

Magda

MY WH

I met my WH through work. He came to work in the same section as me but I was married at the time and didnt really pay much attention to him in the beginning. A few months after he started we travelled together for work and over dinner one night he said something very thoughtful to me. It was a sort of warning about something very unlikely but it showed his very caring nature and that he was a man of real integrity. I started to become interested.

Anyway to cut a long (and probably boring to you) story short, I left my unhappy marriage and started "dating" him. The rest is history. We've been together since December 1989 and married since March 1995. I'm very lucky to have man who has the greatest integrity you can imagine. He is as honest as the day is long and has the highest morals and standards for EVERYTHING!! Being a Virgo he isnt impulsive but he is an excellent planner, analyser and organiser. In our relationship he is the "head thinker" whilst I'm the "heart thinker". It works well.

Ok now that I've sung his praises I will add though that he definitely DOESNT share my passion for fitness/training and especially competing. He found this year VERY hard (probabaly harder than me!!) and that put an extra strain on me and on us. But I guess we cant have it all.

I will also say that my WH is not what you call "hot" but I'm sure that if he was "available" many a smart woman would snap him up.....just as I did LOL

Cheers Kristy

Magda

ITS ALL ABOUT MY BOY

This afternoon WH and I will meet with the teacher our BS will have next year. I’m really looking forward to it. The Kindy boys had their reception orientation morning yesterday and my BS was very excited by it all. Especially as he got to sit next to the friend he had made in the first half of the year. The happy look on his face was priceless.

Tomorrow I will be attending his graduation and I know I’ll be so proud of him. Next year he’ll be a school-boy with a new set of adventures and challenges ahead of him. I hope it continues to be a happy experience and that he feels successful in everything he takes on.

To every mother who reads this I know you share my thoughts, concerns, wishes etc. For what would life be like without our most precious gifts?

This morning in the rush to leave for work and Before School Care, I asked BS to come to me so I could put his shoes on and tie the laces (he was checking out a new, very beautiful Xmas card). One request: no response; two requests: no response. On the 3rd request I’m getting grumpy and ready to issue the first “If you don’t come here now I’ll…..” when he marches over, sits down in front of me, takes my face into his little hands and gives me a kiss on the lips. Now try and stay angry after that :-)

Cheers all

Magda

A DAY OF GOOD DECISIONS

Well despite feeling quite crappy today through lack of sleep, lack of inspiration, lack of motivation and ...I better stop there as I'm sounding like a misery guts LOL....I actually did the right thing as far as my eating was concerned. This is significant for me right now so I'm patting myself on the back for it. It would have been so easy to seek comfort from crap foods but I knew that at the end of the day "forbidden" food wasnt going to make me feel better, in fact I would feel worse both physically and mentally. So I focussed on eating mainly clean food when I was hungry and WH had to drink on his own at dinner time.

Training has suffered a little as we had an unexpected visitor last night and as I hadnt seen this person for some time I enjoyed sitting down and just chatting away. No training this morning with BS waking too early and then settling back in our bed. I plan to hit the exercise room soon as I have a bit of catching up to do.

I'm slowly getting through "If not dieting" and the more I read the more I feel that Dr Rick has jumped into my head and knows exactly what I'm thinking and feeling about food and diet. Its opening my eyes to a few things that I had conveniently chosen to ignore. I hope it offers some good solution strategies too (or maybe it already has and they just havent sunk in yet). Its a great read nevertheless and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is battling food/diet issues.

So I'm going to wrap up there as I have cleaning up to do, a BS to get off to bed and then some training to blitz through.

Still not feeling great but not as fragile as this morning.

Cheers

Magda

MAYA ANGELOU'S WISDOM

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried.

She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words! Maya Angelou said this:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

I read this today and it brought a tear to my eye. I'm feeling a bit delicate, emotional and unsettled right now. Its a challenging time.

Will post more later.

Magda