Wednesday, December 12, 2007


I must confess that I havent been blogging as regularly lately as I've been going through another one of my darker times. Motivation has been a bit woeful, consistency ... whats that?? and as for bad habits - well I've been living with them daily.

I've been wondering if this is still the effect of the post-comp-slump that you hear so much about or is it just me - going round in circles coz I havent chosen a direction that I want to travel, a destination that I want to reach. Or maybe I have chosen it but am not ready to go public with it just yet.

There are times when my mind works over-time analysing everything to the nth degree (I think thats the Virgo in my WH rubbing off on me LOL) and last night was one of those times. I lay in bed and thought through all the emotions, actions, beliefs and outcomes of the last couple of weeks and came to realise some key things:

1. I have the tools to make this work, to gain control over my eating and to maintain that control at a level that is healthy and good for me. I'm not saying that I can go it entirely alone - I plan to get help with it but having that self belief is the most important thing right now.

2. I need to have a goal and I will feel good working towards achieving it. I need a plan to achieve that goal and structure in my training and nutrition. This "lost soul" feeling doesnt sit well with me and I dont want to live my life from day to day just doing a bit of this or a bit of that.

3. I too must put the bad events of the last few weeks behind me and look forward. I've had my good times when I felt strong and in control but when that feeling went, I didnt cope or handle things well at all. Now I must strive to not dwell on that but build small positive steps forward.

I'm amazed at how much I get from reading other people's blogs. When somebody writes about how good they are feeling or how well they are progressing I'm genuinely lifted up along with them. If I read about personal struggles I can empathise and I realise I'm not alone. Whilst I feel sad for that person, I feel a little less sad for myself.

So tomorrow I tackle another day. I plan to run in the morning and then I'm travelling to the country for work. On Friday is my work's Christmas lunch and this year I will eat well and have a few drinks. I chose not to last year and I felt like I had "missed out". Socially it'll be a busy time leading up to Christmas and my goal will merely be to not gain any more weight. Then I plan to get stuck into a new training and nutrition program with a huge smile on my face.

Oh and I plan to blog more regularly ... but not with a heap of negative cr*p :-)

Cheers all



Raechelle said...

Isn't that the wonderful thing about this whole blog phenomena?! Being able to view parts of other people's lives and get something out of it-and share ones own experiences as well....what an amazing internet world!
Blog on, my dear, blog on!
Oh-hope you don't mind my input! I've just started reading your blogs recently and felt like putting in my 2 cents!

Splice said...

Mags :-)
It could very well still be the post comp effects. There really is no time frame as to how long it goes for but it will pass eventually.
Just try really hard to enjoy the festive season and perhaps re-assess early in the new year.
Chin up sweetie, I'm here anytime you want to talk :-)
P.s. Got the pictures yesterday and they suck!! That photographer is hopeless. I have no pictures of me in the final three in fact I only have 12 pictures that he has cut and edited and you can't even see all my legs. Not happy Jan!