REMINISCING

Tonight I weight trained for the first time in several weeks. My arms feel leaden and I know I'll have chest DOMS tomorrow (I always do). Once I got in my exercise room, lay down on my bench and had the bar in my hands all my pleasant memories of last year's comp prep came flooding back.

It was a time I really enjoyed. I learnt so much about body building, about myself, about my WH and about how body building affects other bloggers. I lapped it up and just "lived it" for that year. I loved seeing my body change. I loved having sky high self-confidence not just in my looks but also because I was ACHIEVING a goal I'd set myself. I was no longer a dreamer, a talker, a lurker. I was a doer.

Transforming myself from Fat Girl to Figure Competitor was one of the hardest things I've ever done so my sense of achievement at the end was incredible. More wonderful memories that I'll always cherish.

I loved being accountable to my trainer. Reporting in almost daily with my training results, diet, general chit chat, thoughts and worries I was not alone and the support, encouragement and guidance I got was just what I needed.

I miss all that now. I thought I'd be ok training myself but I'm not, as evidenced by my long absence from my exercise room. I need to be accountable. I want to be lead and showed the way so I'm not standing at a crossroads wondering which way to go. I want to be encouraged and supported and kicked up the backside when I slack off and praised when I achieve a mini goal.

I have some work to do.

Good night all

Magda