Then I had a bad week and undid it all.
I let myself slip back into some self-defeating mentalities like "There's no harm in having extra rice cakes and tuna" - except I finished off 1/2 pack of rice cakes and didnt stop there. The stress of Dad in hospital, new pressure at work and (junky) food became my comfort again. Shouldnt have, but it did.
I didnt do all my cardio last week but I did all my weight training and completed the sessions to a level I was happy with. I guess its not all doom and gloom - but its not far off.
As I've been pottering around doing domestic stuff today I've been thinking about the whole competing thing.
Why do I want to do it again?
What am I prepared to do to achieve another step up onto stage?
Can I do it alone or should I enlist help - to what extent/who/how/where?
How much does my long-term comp goal REALLY mean to me?
Some answers came easily. Some didnt.
I also think a lot about my eating habits and wonder how/why at my age I still dont have things under control?
Why I'm not normal?
Why I struggle so much with it?
When will it end?
But I have a fighting spirit and I'm determined to NOT throw in the towel and admit defeat. I will (again) pick myself up and start moving forward. I believe that NLP can help me with this but I have even neglected that in the last week so what can I expect?
14 weeks til the All Females and 24 weeks to WNBF SA Championships. I dont want to be fat for the former. I want to be in comp shape for the latter. Time for action (yet again).
My guiding light and inspiration will be:
ONE MEAL
ONE WORKOUT
ONE DAY AT A TIME
Lisa Stokes.
Thanks for listening guys.
Magda
11 comments:
Magda,
I am humbled for this quote, however I would like to add one more line to that for you.
"The answers I seek are inside me".
You have a journey to go on, and i don't believe that competing this year is part of that journey. You may get on stage but you will have the same issues after this comp, and the next. It is not about age, it about balance.
You need to find your balance, and you will find it within.
Lisa
Magda I was asking myself those same questions today in Priceline.
Why am I always thinking about food, why can't I see chocolate and not even notice or chips or cookies...
Why aren't I normal..., but I think that we are constantly learning and we are always improving even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it :)
I love what Lisa has said about balance and I totally agree... I am trying to find my healthy balance with life.
Lisa,
Why cant I see the answers? Am I looking in the wrong place? Is it because I dont know what I'm looking for? That "B" word continues to elude me.
Kristy,
I guess we are always learning however I seem to repeat the same mistakes over and over. I frustrate myself (if you get what I mean).
Magda
Magda, I sure do get what you mean, as of today I am hoping that I am back on track, but if I have a slip up I will just get back on track the next day... Just trying to do the prep thing.
I'd love to have lunch when we are both in our jeans again... One pair is still hanging on the wall. My sister and mum thought I was a little strange ;)
Btw I know we will both get into our jeans again and it won't be that far into the future...
Magda,
I don't have your answers, but maybe you are asking the wrong questions, or don't want to listen to the answers that are coming back.
You, and Kristy, need to accept the fact that these foods will never be part of your diet. You need to be in the place where you don't even see them in the supermarket.
I think you may need a sugar detox to help with the cravings - this will at least get your body working with you rather than against you.
Lisa
I am going to pass on some wise words from the lovely diamond Lisa shse is truley a wise lady, she told me 'Just be'.
And you know what she is right stop struggling and just be what you want, I have started this and have to say it has really made a difference even under stress and emotion crap!
I hope that this new week brings you some wonderful results :)
Em:)
Listen to you Em!!! Did I say that? That sounds like a great idea.
The other thing is to focus on what you want, not what not what you don't want.
Lisa
Kristy, I believe we all must do whatever it is that motivates us. Jeans hanging in view as a reminder is good incentive.
Lisa, I've been thinking about a sugar detox but am not sure if it should include artificial sweetener. I'd be stuck without my Nature's Way soy protein but it has both fructose & some artificial sweetener.
Em I think my problem is that what I want doesnt come easily or naturally to me so I struggle with it. Perhaps a change in thinking / beliefs / attitude is more pertinent to me right now.
I DO try to focus on what I want instead of what I dont want as I practice NLP but need to do it more consciously and more consistently. There it is again, that "C" word ... always cropping up in a variety of situations. LOL
Magda
Magda,
You will be fine without your Soy Protein. That is just something else to hide behind. Ditch it and the artificial sweetners NOW!!
Decide that it will be easy...and it will be. Stop struggling.
Lisa
Yes Lisa you said that hehe your such a wise thing yet so forgetful LOL
Magda I totally understand, Lisa told me this when I was in the worst state I wass emotional, stressed out and I had lost my brain LOL but thanks to Lisa's advice I have stopped the struggle stopped the mind games and just being me well the less stressed me LOL
Write it all down hun this has helped me heaps I have a diary where I can let lose all those nasty negative feelings close the book and then forget all about them or actually get some useful advice from myself :)
Stop batteling yourself hun you can do what ever you want when you put your mind to it :)
Em:)
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