Then I had a bad week and undid it all.
I let myself slip back into some self-defeating mentalities like "There's no harm in having extra rice cakes and tuna" - except I finished off 1/2 pack of rice cakes and didnt stop there. The stress of Dad in hospital, new pressure at work and (junky) food became my comfort again. Shouldnt have, but it did.
I didnt do all my cardio last week but I did all my weight training and completed the sessions to a level I was happy with. I guess its not all doom and gloom - but its not far off.
As I've been pottering around doing domestic stuff today I've been thinking about the whole competing thing.
Why do I want to do it again?
What am I prepared to do to achieve another step up onto stage?
Can I do it alone or should I enlist help - to what extent/who/how/where?
How much does my long-term comp goal REALLY mean to me?
Some answers came easily. Some didnt.
I also think a lot about my eating habits and wonder how/why at my age I still dont have things under control?
Why I'm not normal?
Why I struggle so much with it?
When will it end?
But I have a fighting spirit and I'm determined to NOT throw in the towel and admit defeat. I will (again) pick myself up and start moving forward. I believe that NLP can help me with this but I have even neglected that in the last week so what can I expect?
14 weeks til the All Females and 24 weeks to WNBF SA Championships. I dont want to be fat for the former. I want to be in comp shape for the latter. Time for action (yet again).
My guiding light and inspiration will be: