Saturday, August 08, 2009

BETRAYED BY THE MM AND A NEW OUTLOOK

Fifi was right.

The Metal Monster cant be trusted. Despite eating well and doing more than my required training I have been betrayed and "rewarded" with a gain. Yesterday it was .8 up from last Sunday and today it had dropped down by .2 (so still a net gain of .6 this week). F*CKER!!!!

And then the f*cker thinks its going to talk me into having the binge to end all binges (I would have previously). Well mate, I might not have been 100% on plan today but there was no binge within coooeee.

YES!! Thats another run on the board for me and as for the f*cker ... NIL!!!

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I will spare you the monotony of how I've somehow managed to ward off the lurgies, my ongoing battle with Windy City and moaning yet again about the week that was. Its hardly riveting reading.

What I do want to share though are some of my thoughts around how my life has changed since I saw the SP and I have stopped binging.

It still amazes me on a daily basis. Its like winning the lottery and the value hasnt sunk in. You wake up and pinch yourself that "geez you DID win the lottery". A little voice in my head (probably Inner Fat Girl) keeps harping "you might stuff it all up any day now" or "it cant be long before you cave and I win". But in all honestly I havent even felt close to that feeling of tipping over the edge and falling face first into Binge Hell.

So I have decided that from now on I will only view myself as a non-binger, or maybe a reformed-binger or ex-binger. It will always be a thing from my past but it no longer has a place in my current or future life. I will not be amazed that I'm not binging. Instead I will treat not binging as the norm. This is another leaf to be turned over and another step in the positive direction.

I think thats enough for a Saturday night. I have more up my sleeve but will save it for future posts.

Cheers all

Magda

5 comments:

Vicki said...

I think your new outlook is fabulous Magda. Good work in being so proactive in overcoming your struggles - it is very inspirational to the rest of us :)

Vicki x

Stephanie Davis said...

well done Magda. I definately like your approach of celebrating your success in overcoming it and trying to view it as being in the past.
As for me, Im a reformed binge eater as well, couldn't admit it for a long time but now Im very proud to say I haven't succumbed to emotional out of control eating for almost 6 months. the longer ago it gets, the more your confidence grows.
the casual swearing should help too hehe, go you good thing!

Fifi Dangerfield said...

I'm just gonna throw another FUCKER in their for good luck....fucker...

Kerry W said...

Great going Magda! GIVE THE F*CKER HELL! :-)

Magda said...

Thanks Vicki.

Aaah Steph, there's nothing like a good bout of casual swearing to let off some negative energy LOL.

:-) :-) Fifi you crack me up.

Hey Kerry. The f*cker is OFF the Xmas card list right now. Untrustworthy b*st*rd!!

Cheers all

M