SLEEPY BULLSH*T MUSIC AND TOUGH WORKOUTS

What do you do your cardio to?

I couldn’t believe the sleepy bullsh*t my husband has on his iPod. On Sunday morning I do a weights session and I follow it up with a slow paced 40 minute jog. Now jogging is NOT my favourite form of cardio and I need all the help I can get to get me going and keep me going. So imagine my disappointment when my iPod died just as I was about to head out the door. Never fear, trusty husband to the rescue with the offer to take his iPod.

So he geared me up with it and off I set. Song 1 was a sleepy track and then there was an upbeat track, which perked me up a little. Then the next 30-35 minutes were all slow, sleepy songs. The first half of the jog was nice as I was travelling east with sunshine on my face but on the way back I had a headwind and was tackling a slightly uphill run. AAAAAARGH GIVE ME SOME UPBEAT MUSIC TO HELP ME GET THROUGH IT!!!! Just as I was about 5 minutes from home Robbie Williams came on with Rock DJ. Yay I picked up my pace a little and powered to the finish.

It was tough. It wasn’t necessarily enjoyable but I kept repeating my mantra / affirmation to myself to get me through. Walking was not an option.

Then I enjoyed the best reward by having an oats/bran/egg white/low fat creamed cottage cheese/cinnamon pancake with ½ banana, sugar free maple syrup and a sprinkle of LSA for breakfast. That alone made the run worthwhile :-)

This morning I did my high intensity leg workout and took the word “pain” to a new level. Its good pain though ….. I think LOL. Oh and I had my iPod back working again so at least the music was working with me and not against me. It makes a huge difference.

I’d love to hear other bloggers’ tips and tricks for getting through their tougher or less favourite workouts.

Cheers all

Magda

WHICH COOKIE DO YOU WANT?

Sometimes you just get on a roll. The planets align. The dominos fall in rhythm. Your sums add up and your steam train is powering on its way to Station: SUCCESS.

This is how I've been felling lately. Eating on plan is not a chore. Its what I want to do and I do it without any feelings of deprivation or semi starvation. I choose food that I love and I savour the taste. I eat regularly to keep my stomach happy and my mood level. I look forward to training, getting the most important sessions done early in the day. Whatever happens after that, it doesnt matter. If I'm too tired at the end of the day, I rest. If at the end of the day I can spend extra time with my son, thats time well spent and my training is not suffering. I'm getting closer to achieveing my short-term goal and I can almost taste it with 3 weeks to go.

Yesterday I was out and it was time for my weekly treat of a skim cappuccino. I used to have at least one every day, now I have one, maybe two just on weekends. I went into the coffee shop and ordered my usual "weak skim cappuccino" and handed over my rewards card. The assistant took it and said "do you want to use your free one?" which I hadnt noticed I was due for. So I said "yes" of course, thinking what a nice bonus it was to get a free coffee. Then the assistant said "which cookie do you want?" which I didnt hear clearly so I asked her to repeat it (I didnt realise my next reward was a coffee and a cookie). She did and my reply was ........
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"No thanks I dont want a cookie, just the coffee". And the sky didnt cave in and heaven didnt fall to earth.

THE END

Cheers all

Magda

HOW DID YOU SPEND YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT?

I got home from work and had a nice long cuddle with my beautiful son who thankfully is feeling much better.

I had an early dinner (nothing exciting - just green veges, roo mince cooked with mexican seasoning, a big handful of fresh continental parsley and some Udo's oil)

I made protein and oat pancakes for Saturday's breakfast.

I fed my son and then we cuddled some more (he is such a little smoocher - I just love it).

I drove my husband and his best mate to the local so they could have a boys' catch up.

I pottered around home until my son went to bed.

AND THEN I DID A BONUS CARDIO SESSION (the one I couldnt do last night).

And I dont feel deprived or hard done by at all. Its been a great evening and soon I'll toddle off and have a nice read in bed before zzzzzzing.

Cheers

Magda

CHOOSING SUCCESS

Today I'm home with my son who has a viral infection. It caught me a bit off guard as I had no work with me (I have every other day taken work home and not done it) and I got up at 5.15 to do my training. If I'd known I was going to be home I could have slept in and done the training anytime during the day. BUGGER!!

So I've had this strange feeling of time on my hands and not quite sure what to do. Its too early to clean the house for the weekend open. There isnt quite enough washing as yet. I couldnt go out anywhere. Its been rather odd.

So today I've been thinking about success and failure. I hate the word "failure" but its one way to describe lack of success so its my word of choice for this post.

In the past I can recall numerous failed attempts to lose body fat and gain a lean and toned physique. The failures happened almost bi-weekly or monthly at the least. Many would know what I mean, when you eat well for however long only to "fall off the wagon" and then "blow it all" and then just decide its all too hard, eat crap for however long before you pull it all together and repeat the cycle over and over.

This was my life and the life of others too from what I read in other blogs. But it changed recently and it changed for the better. Why? Because I decided that I didnt want to live my life that way any more. Yes I had had enough and I took steps to get help with my thoughts and behaviours because going it alone had not worked before. I've blogged about my sessions with my Sports Psyche and how they've turned my life around (I know that sounds corny but its true). After decades of binge eating I now think differently and act differently and I no longer binge :-)

But that is merely step one. I had to also want success.

When I started a new program to get me lean and toned I had a desire to lose about 10 kilos. It was a goal but on a scale of 1 - 10 how badly did I want it? About a 6. Not much hey?? On the outside I convinced myself that I was focussed and determined as I worked towards my goal, but was I really? Well a couple of weekends ago the writing was on the wall. Care factor for my goal had hit an all time low and progress was negative.

So what happened? Did I have a lightbulb moment where all of a sudden the motivation came back into full force? Did I revisit my goals and reaffirm their importance? Did I stumble across a secret ingredient that I had missed before, a new superfood or a new training method?

Well none of the above actually. When I felt really low and the motivation was still lacking I just took one small step at a time and made one small good choice after another. Nothing ground breaking. Nothing earth shattering. And it soon dawned on me that I did REALLY want to achieve my goal. My wanting it at level 6 had shot up to probably a 9. I found passion and I found drive and I was getting on with it and DOING IT.

So now I choose success. I look for ways to follow my eating plan even when the alternative looks so attractive. I plan out my training and allow some flexibility so I dont get caught at the end of the week with no time left but sessions still to complete. I practice my affirmations daily even if its for a few minutes before I fall asleep. And I picture the body I want and the life I want to live so that they are ingrained in my mind and can morph into reality.

So success can be yours. You start by wanting it, planning for it, taking action to achieve it, believing it will happen and accepting no less. Thats my philosophy.

Cheers all

Magda

PS I can feel a bonus cardio session coming on tonight as I'll have some more free time on my hands and all weight training is done and dusted.

SURRENDERING TO THE EVIL FORCES????

As I was walking to my car (parked on the other side of the city) after work today I went over the day's events in my mind and I realised that the BEST part of my day was when I was out jogging in the cold, dark morning at 5.15am. OMG what is becoming of me???!!

Yes work was somewhat on the crappy side again and meeting WH to go home together, he took one look at me and said "I can see you're tired". That'd be an affirmative, partner. I was washed out! At times like this there is a real temptation to order a large pizza with the lot some garlic bread to go with it , crack a nice bottle of Pepperjack and surrender to the evil forces (aka Inner Fat Girl, Inner Lazy Lucy and the Binge Monster).

But when we got home I got cracking in the kitchen and made pasta for hubbie (thank goodness for ready made agnolettis and bottled sauce) and cooked up a wokful of veges and added pre-prepared chicken for me. Then time is spent preparing lunches for the next day or I know I'll end up at the cafe ordering a massive toasted foccacia with chicken, cheese, avocado and not a vegetable in sight. Plus I get everything ready for my breakfast and soak my oats overnight so they cook really quickly in the morning. Yep all that prep takes quite a bit of time but its a case of "just do it".

So it was 8.15 when I put my workout gear on and knocked off my shoulders / arms training session with somewhat less than 100% enthusiasm. But I figure its better to do it regardless cause skipping it is worse. One training session tomorrow and then I'm done for the week.

Oh and just to add to my "woe is me post", today I have killer DOMS in my abs so now I'm covered from top (tris) to middle (abs) to the bottom (calves). YOWSER!!

Good night all

Magda

YADDA YADDA YADDA

My boss is away from work for 4 weeks so my normally busy schedule has been even busier. Its go, go, go from when I arrive til I leave but typically my stomach always reminds me of my 3 hourly feeds. Aaah they are such an enjoyable few minutes in my day.

Training today was a new abs program followed by a nifty little home cardio routine. I had to modify it a bit as 2 minute intervals between the bike and rower dont work because it takes about 30 seconds to change over and strap in properly for the row. So I did 2 minutes fast on the bike; change over to rower for 100 strokes then do a wide crossover step for 100 repeats on my crappy old Target brand step. It all worked a treat.

I feel like I'm getting leaner as my usual large size 10 pants are looser than normal. My nutrition has been pretty tight even over the weekend (well MUCH better than previously) and the training has been consistent and fairly intense. Oh and I have killer DOMS in my calves and my tris. Chest is a bit sore too but tris take the cake. I love getting DOMS as it always makes me feel like I've worked hard enough.

Well guys I'm hitting the sack early tonight and unless its pouring with rain at 5.15am tomorrow, I'll be heading out for a 40 minute jog. Am I crazy? Yep, I think so :-)

Cheers

Magda

STAYING STRONG AND TRUE

It was one of those days today.

Work was NOT good. Things looked pretty awful there for a while. My stomach was in knots and I was fretting about stuff.

Outside it was freezing cold and blustery. A true winter's day. I had to attend a meeting that was a 10 minute walk away and by the time I got there my feet were completely wet. I may as well have gone in thongs.

But this morning I smashed out a high intensity leg session and although it HURT it was AWESOME :-) So when my Inner Fat Girl started whispering about comfort food and how much better it'd make me feel, she was sent packing. I wasnt even close to giving in. Yes the plate of home made biscuits and cakes that was served at the wet-feet-meeting looked devine but I let the fat people eat them. I'm sure they dont want to be 3 kgs lighter in a little over 3 weeks time.

Here's to staying strong and true and ending the day on a high.

:-) Magda

UNLEASHING MY INNER ATHLETE

I have just started a new program which has me doing drop sets and super sets. I havent trained this way before (for any reasonable length of time) and I found it really challening and motivating. I did chest and back today and found msyelf working harder than when doing straight sets. It was great. Straight after the weights I headed out for my first continuous jog with no set walk breaks. My aim was to do 40 minutes because at a slow pace, I believed this was achievable.

So off I went and after about 5 minutes I was already starting to think about having a walk break. But I pushed myself on to the next intersection and then to the end of the shopping centre, then to the college, then the next street, next turn off, roundabout etc etc. You get the drift. I refused to check the time and I just kept going and going. When I arrived home I looked at the time and found I had jogged for 35 minutes so I added another lap around my block determined to make it to 40 minutes.

I dont know where my Inner Fat Girl and my Inner Lazy Lucy were this morning. Probably off having a private pity party. But this morning my Inner Athlete RULED and I was ON FIRE. Breakfast never tasted so good and my headset was spot on for the rest of the day.

Gotta love it when you slip into the zone and there's no stopping ya.

:-) Magda

FEELING GREAT

Hey guys I've had an awesome few days and I'm feeling great. Food has been really good even though lunch out with my SIL yesterday resulted in a chicken caeser salad (fatty dressing!!) as they had taken my favourite Meditteranean salad with cous cous and chicken off the menu. Not happy Jan but not stressing over it. I even managed a Friday night with one ... yes ONE glass of wine, NO nibbles and a 99% clean meal. My dearest other half was shocked at my level of restraint but did agree that last weekend I went somewhat overboard with the relaxed eating. (Thanks darling I know it too!!).

After my Friday sleep in and day off from training I'm really looking forward to my regular power walk on Saturday morning. Its one of my favourite exercise sessions as I head to our neighbouring suburb (where our new house will be) and walk around a couple of lakes and then back home. I love where we live and I love getting out in the fresh air, powering along, listening to my iPod shuffle. Aaaah bliss!!

My thoughts, feelings and disposition have been in a really positive place this week and my internal calmness and happiness have been consolidated further. Since I sorted out my binging issue I have felt a lot calmer and happy within myself and at times like this its driven home even further. I love my new life and I never want to let those destructive thoughts and habits take over again.

I've been on a fat loss mission for 6 weeks and I'd rate my progress as a C-. So my next challenge is to ramp things up a bit. I have a great nutrition plan that I like and that works well for me. My challenge is to stay true to it and true to myself. More "focus" and less "relaxing" will get me the results I want and I'm up for it.

Training is going to a new level so watch this space for my commentary .... if I survive to write about it LOL. On the one hand I'm quaking in my sneakers about it and on the other I'm really excited to see just what I'm capable of.

Headspace is where I'm going to dedicate more time as when I'm on a bit of a high as I am now I get all complacent about actively focussing on my goals. Then as the high starts to deflate so does my focus and determination and then its hello "wishy washy attitude". I have a plan to manage this better in future.

So this morning the MM rewarded my hard work with a beautiful 68.9 kgs and I was happy happy. Achieving sub 66 by 18 September (Melbourne trip with hubbie) is well within my reach AND I'M DOING IT.

Cheers all

Magda

MY ROLLERCOASTER RIDE

My goodness I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster since my last post.

I lost the plot somewhat last weekend (hanging head in shame). There was some relaxed eating followed by some relaxed drinking which then turned into an all out relaxed "I dont care if I dont lose weight right now" attitude. My I had some yummy food that just isnt on my eating plan right now so no wonder the Metal Monster was unkind on Monday morning.

But having confessed to all that I can proudly hold my head up high because I didnt resort to any binge eating, I didnt beat myself up over the poor choices I made and I actually stayed quite calm and balanced throughout the splurge. Previously I would slip into a major binge, then tell myself off in the worst negative way possible, put myself down because thats what I deserved and then wallow in misery and self pity all whilst dealing with emotions in total turmoil. I've come a long way and I will NEVER lose sight of that.

So on Monday I fought my feelings of "I just dont want to do this any more" and instead of thinking and analysing to the nth degree, I just did my training, ate my planned meals, skipped the treats and pushed my negative thoughts to the back of my mind. Chalked up a good day and my mood started to improve.

Tuesday came and my goal was to repeat Monday's effort but up the training to make up for missed training on the weekend. Despite a mini battle with my Inner Lazy Lucy who kept telling me that training twice a day was for obsessed nuts, I was on a mission to ensure that by the end of the week every one of my training sessions would be ticked off. Oh and I still wanted my Friday morning sleep in so that meant double training on 2 days. Yep Tuesday's goal achieved and I'm a mildly happy camper.

Welcome to Hump Day. Can the good behaviours be repeated? YES THEY CAN!! I have reorganised my entire training schedule and made it fit into the time I have. There is no scope for fluffing around and putting anything off. Just do it and do it well. There are more mini battles with Inner Lazy Lucy who's telling me that no normal person spends this much time preparing food and that it would be so much easier if I just had breakfast of a skim cappuccino and fruit toast on the way to work, a Bakers Delight scone with butter and another cappuccino for morning tea, a toasted foccaccia for lunch and dinner with my family (maybe lasagne or crumbed calamari). Yep these are all foods I love but they arent going to help me reach my goals so they have no place in my everyday meals right now. I'm on track with both training and nutrition and MM is heading DOWN :-)

So here I am on Thursday and I've survived a lunch out which was totally 100% on plan. "Yum Chicken" is a Thai chicken salad made with breast meat, veges and a very light spicy dressing. The fact that I was hungry 3 hours after it meant it was just right in size and composition. Oh and I love Jasmine tea so that was my drink of choice and not wine. I've double trained today and on Tuesday. Every training session is ticked off and I've done my personal goal of a "bonus cardio" session which is not required on my training plan. I will have my sleep in tomorrow and it will be guilt free :-)

So what got me back on track?

1. I realised that I really want to achieve my goal of being lean and toned for summer. It actually means more to me than the short term pleasure of eating what I want.

2. I read some fantastic material which helped me understand the struggle I'd just been through and gave me a great insight into winning this battle.

3. I drew on my inner strength and determination and decided I would not give in. I would do what I have to do and I would stop complaining (to myself) about the effort required.

4. The last one is a secret for now.

Wish me well as I journey from 69.7 downwards.

:-) Magda

COUCH TIME

I am home today. I'll spare you the boring details about why. I'll just say that my system is not in good working order right now and I look forward to more pleasant days.

So while on the couch today I've pondered this new journey that I've been on since the beginning of July. I have a lot to be happy about. Living binge free feels great. Gone is the internal anguish that accompanies every binge. Gone are the feeling of hopelessness and meaningless vows to "never do it again" only to do it again the next day. Its a vicious circle that is really hard to break and I finally found the way.

For some weeks now I've been following a program thats designed to lean me down and tone me up. Its not a diet. Its more of a lifetsyle change and I feel good about my decision to do this. Progress has been slow but there were celebrations to be enjoyed and I patted myself on the back for handling them well and even losing a small amount of weight in those challenging weeks.

This week I find myself facing the issue of how hard I'm prepared to work for the results I want. I want to be lean and toned and I want to feel good about myself and be happy within myself. All that goes without saying and I'd even place the latter two before the former two as being more important. But I admit I'm struggling with eating on plan for more than say about 70% of the time.

I've typed 4 different sentences to follow this statement but none reflected the real issue. After quite some deliberation I realise that for me the issues are:

What relationship do I want with food?
How can I engineer that relationship so that it helps me to achieve my goals, both physical and emotional?
Finding a way to make it all work with me, for me.

So its back to the couch to think some more. Stay tuned.

M

A PISSER OF A DAY

This morning our agent rang to tell us that the dream-come-true contract we had on our house, the one that he was so confident of it going through (yep it ticked all the boxes) fell through at the 11th hour (literally). At 8pm all was well with the purchasers and at 11pm they faxed through their cooling off notice.

We are shocked and disppointed to say the least.

I saw the chiro today and I have definitely injured my left side neck/shoulder area. He has treated it and I have better mobility so now it'll be a couple of days of ice and rest and it should be all good. That reminds me ... get the ice going.

Then to round off this pisser of a day my son got a gushing blood nose at school. They called me as I was looking for a carpark and asked me to collect him from the sick bay where the nurse was treating him. Poor bugger. When I arrived his head was buried in ice packs and he was covered in blood with a big bucket of bloodied tissues next to him. It took anotheer 15 minutes for it to stop enough so we could go and then it trickled slowly for another hour so all up it was an hour and a half bleed.

Needless to say all day I have battled the urge to comfort myself with crappy food. I feel like I'm hanging on by my nails but I havent slipped. Lord give me strength to stay strong.

M

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Did I mention that on Sunday I was looking for an excuse to get out of training and one of the excuses I contemplated was whether I had any aches or pains? Yeah well guess what??? Yep I've somehow hurt my neck. I have a really sore spot on the left side and I cant turn my head much to the left or tilt it back without some serious pain happening.

So this morning I pushed through my training as the moves I had for shoulders and abs were manageable but when I set out for my walk/jog the impact was not pleasant. Work was a struggle and I took the time to have a Chinese massage after work but it hasnt solved the problem. I have a chiro appointment booked for tomorrow so hopefully some magic can be worked there.

Needless to say I have not felt as fantastic as I intended to do this week.

Then as an added challenge, lunch was off plan today and I spent the afternoon battling with the Binge Monster who was insisting on a feed up today. He didnt get it but I can tell you some strong conversations were quietly going on. Anyways the good thing to come out of all this was that I worked out how to stay sociable and how to stay on plan when the standard menu is sadly lacking appropriately healthy options.

1. Ask for what you want (even if its not on the menu). Today's menu had a tuna salad (YUK!! I'd NEVER pay money for that) and I should have asked them to swap the tuna for some chicken or seafood.

2. Order a Diet Coke straight away so there is less pressure to have wine.

3. Portion control is a big challenge for me, especially if I'm eating out and the food is really nice. I've yet to work out some strategies to master this one so if anybody has any great suggestions that have worked for them, I'm all ears.

So a good learning exercise that I can put into practice next time and feel confident that I'm on track to achieve my goals.

Good night all

Magda

VISUALISING

I spent the weekend in a “I was such a good girl but I still didn’t get what I wanted for Christmas” mood. What a waste of time and energy and what a negative outlook that was. All I can say is “be careful as you might get what you wish for”. Wallowing in depressing negative thoughts will only attract more of the same and who wants that?

So today the “I’m grown up enough to know that sometimes you kick and sometimes you get kicked” girl has stepped in and logic and reason have prevailed. TOM arrived this morning and I understand that MM was just rolling out the welcome mat with his usual predictable increase. Add to that all the blaaah feelings and everything falls into place. This week will be a cracker because I choose to make it so.

I loved Kristy’s blog today about visualising. I do believe that it’s a powerful tool in helping you to achieve goals. So why haven’t I done it? I’ve read about it. I’ve had it suggested that I should do it. But I’ve been too busy wallowing in my MM minutiae misery to see past it and grasp the bigger picture.

So my goal this week is to visualise the amazing success that is about to take over my life.

In 6 weeks time I’ll be going to Melbourne wearing my size 11 jeans and my Prada T shirt. They will fit comfortably and I’ll be happy that I stuck to my program and was rewarded with great results.

As summer approaches I'll be showing off my lean and toned arms in lovely sleeveless tops and I'll feel proud that I worked so hard for them and they look so good.

When we go for our summer holiday I will wear a bikini and I'll feel good about myself. A good 6 months of eating well and training hard will give me the lean and toned body I desire.

I'm going to enjoy buying new clothes that are flattering and sexy. I'll be proud of my body and I'll enjoy showing it off.

Deep down I will be happy within myself because I honoured my body with good food and regular training and I did it consistently until it became a way of life.

Cheers all

Magda

MAKING AN EFFORT

This morning I woke up feeling blaaah. Motivation zero.

I lay in bed looking for an excuse not to train. Maybe I didnt have enough time. (Plenty of time slack-arse just get up and do it). Maybe I had a pain or an injury. (Yeah right. No pain happening today). So damn there was no excuse which meant getting up and doing it so I'd have no regrets later in the day.

On days like today I want to eat "treat food". Fuit toast with lashings of butter. Or maybe seedy, grainy bread with butter/honey/peanut butter. Dont even start me on the possibilities if we were having breakfast out. Luckily I had prepared my oats last night. They had soaked overnight, the protein powder was all measured out and the container of psyllium husks was next to the stove, ready to be added. Foolproof strategy for staying on track and perfectly timed.

I had some shopping to do and the house had to be sterile for another open inspection today (the last one, we hope). I really felt like dagging around in trackie pants, a windcheater, no make-up and being a bit of a slob. But instead I showered, defuzzed, scrubbed and washed and styled my hair (takes less than 5 minutes). Then I put on a pair of jeans, a nice hoodie and even a little make-up. Lordie, even some lippie went on (insert goggle eyes here).

And all these little things put togther made me feel so much better and the motivation came to stay on track today. We had lunch at our local cafe while our house was open. WH and BS both had meals with fries while I had a chicken salad and peppermint tea. The chips werent that great anyway - yes they underwent a taste test but they were easily resisted. After lunch I had to duck to another shopping centre and I even skipped my fave skim capp as I didnt need it after lunch. My one indulgence today has been a small glass of wine with dinner.

Istarted the day feeling awful and at major risk of just blowing away the training and good eating. Had that happened I'd be feeling much worse now. But I made an effort. An effort to train, to eat well and to spend time on my appearance. And I can tell you, it was well worth the effort.

Cheers all

Magda

BETRAYED BY THE MM AND A NEW OUTLOOK

Fifi was right.

The Metal Monster cant be trusted. Despite eating well and doing more than my required training I have been betrayed and "rewarded" with a gain. Yesterday it was .8 up from last Sunday and today it had dropped down by .2 (so still a net gain of .6 this week). F*CKER!!!!

And then the f*cker thinks its going to talk me into having the binge to end all binges (I would have previously). Well mate, I might not have been 100% on plan today but there was no binge within coooeee.

YES!! Thats another run on the board for me and as for the f*cker ... NIL!!!

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I will spare you the monotony of how I've somehow managed to ward off the lurgies, my ongoing battle with Windy City and moaning yet again about the week that was. Its hardly riveting reading.

What I do want to share though are some of my thoughts around how my life has changed since I saw the SP and I have stopped binging.

It still amazes me on a daily basis. Its like winning the lottery and the value hasnt sunk in. You wake up and pinch yourself that "geez you DID win the lottery". A little voice in my head (probably Inner Fat Girl) keeps harping "you might stuff it all up any day now" or "it cant be long before you cave and I win". But in all honestly I havent even felt close to that feeling of tipping over the edge and falling face first into Binge Hell.

So I have decided that from now on I will only view myself as a non-binger, or maybe a reformed-binger or ex-binger. It will always be a thing from my past but it no longer has a place in my current or future life. I will not be amazed that I'm not binging. Instead I will treat not binging as the norm. This is another leaf to be turned over and another step in the positive direction.

I think thats enough for a Saturday night. I have more up my sleeve but will save it for future posts.

Cheers all

Magda

A TOUGH WEEK

Its been a tough week and its not even over.

As you know, Monday was pretty awful at work. Nobody felt good and we were glad to see the end of the day. Tuesday improved and things moved up a notch with our house sale. We moved into the "seriously exciting" zone and kept eveything crossed.

Yesterday was another madly busy day at work. The list of things to do just kept getting longer and very little was getting croosed off. I had my hair cut again (even shorter - stay tuned for a photo) straight after work and then WOOHOO it was contract singing time on our house. Yes our legendary agent did what we thought was the impossible and we have a contract on our house. Great price. Great conditions. If we'd had the energy we would have celebrated last night but instead I spent the rest of the evening preparing meals for today.

Today has been fanstastic in the morning (I went on an excellent training course) and dreadful in the afternoon. I'm frazzled, drained and I'm battling the worst stomach cramps as I try to get my dose right for my new fibre supp. Man talk about Windy City in our household tonight!!

I've also battled the "lack of quality sleep syndrome" this week. Most nights I've slept but not deeply. You know that annoying type of sleep where you keep waking up, looking at the time and then realising that you can sleep some more. In the morning you wake up feeling like you've hardly slept (beacuse YOU'VE HARDLY SLEPT). Many times I just wanted to blow off my training but smartly talked myself out of it before I made such a bad decision.

Funnily enough my meals have been on plan (bar an extra couple of skim capps) and any thoughts of binging have been fleeting. So I might be tired, have a sore tummy, have a BAD case of wind, feel quite drained and low in energy but AT LEAST I DONT HATE MYSELF BECAUSE I TURNED TO FOOD TO DEAL WITH THESE ISSUES.

:-) M

BATTLING DEPRESSION

I spent yesterday battling depression and today wasnt much better.

Why was I depressed?

Purely 100% work reasons. My colleagues are depressed, my boss is depressed and buying lipsticks to cheer herself up. Miss C has a new Country Road skirt because it was her "feel good" activity for the day. Putting together a works program is no fun when there is so little money.

So after lunch I took myself off to GJs and treated myself to a skim cappuccino and had a big piece of toasted banana bread with lashings of butter. Yummo. That was so nice that I decided to follow it with a friand and a muffin for good luck.....

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. HA!! Fooled you!!

I did have the skim cappuccino and I did look at all the cakes and acknowledge how good they would taste but I was calm and in control and deep down I knew that I wouldnt have any. Previously I would have used the sweet food as a cheer-me-up and once I started I couldnt stop. My how things have changed.

So even though I was surrounded by depressing circumstances, ironically I was still happily content internally and I didnt need crappy food to cheer me up. I'm liking this way of thinking and this way of life.

:-) Magda

THE WEEKEND ROUND-UP

What an awesome weekend but sadly its almost over. Geez they go so quick dont they?

On Friday night I went to my bestie's place for a Body Shop at Home party. She had 20 friends over (amazing her circle of friends) and at the end of the night she was buying out the catalogue either for free, 1/2 price or 20% off.

I spent most of Saturday out with my mum as a belated birthday celebration. I got up early and did my training and then picked her up and we headed to Westfield Marion. A skim cappuccino to start us off and a nice chinwag. Then a bit of shopping followed by lunch. We shared a medium woodoven pizza with chicken, bacon and veges. It was delicious and not too much. Oh and I couldnt resist getting us some lambrusco. Mum's not much of a drinker but she loved the lambrusco and it really got her talking. She's so funny after a glass of wine. A real chatter-box LOL. Then we watched My Sister's Keeper and had a good cry before heading off home.

In the evening WH and I conferred again about the house's external selections. We're going quite different from before (although its very much like our Queensland house) so some more talking and considering was in order.

Today I christened my new slow cooker and made an awesome coq au vin. I used chicken breasts and browned them in a heavy based pan with a lite spray of oil only so the dish was very low in fat (bar some lean well trimmed bacon). It tasted superb but was too watery so next time I'll know to not use as much liquid. I have quite a bit leftover and will enjoy it for some dinners with that lovely chicken stock / red wine flavour it cooked in.

The house sale is ramping up over the next 2 weeks as we have now gone to the market. That means no life. Every spare minute is spent tidying, cleaning and keeping the place sterile. With 2 opens on the weekend we'll be like aliens in our home - dont touch anything, dont move anything, dont create cooking smells etc etc. Man I just hope it pays off.

Well better toddle off to preapare for tomorrow. I have back and biceps followed by an interval cardio session. I love Monday mornings (until I get to work).

Cheers all

Magda

PS The Metal Monster rewarded me with a nice 1.2kg loss this week. He's my best friend right now :-)

ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE

Things have been moving well on the house front. We have selected the plan for our new house and on Friday morning we do all of our selections. Contract signing comes soon after that and we'll know our start and finish dates (which are guaranteed).

Our home is now on the market so we are living in permanent declutter, tidiness, cleanliness and sterility. Its been a week or so and we are already over it. In fact last weekend we spent all of Saturday and then Sunday morning just preparing the place for groups to come through on Sunday afternoon. In the 3 years we've lived here the place has never seen such a thorough clean LOL. Fingers crossed that our agent chalks up a quick sale at an excellent price. Then we have the fun of moving into a rental property to look forward to....NOT!!!

In amongst all the agent meetings, preparing for opens, being out of the way for opens and everything else going on I havent let any of that be an excuse to eat crap. I may not have been 100% on plan but my variances were minor and controlled.

I absolutely love the fact that we are going to build our own home again. I love new houses and I love the fact that everything in them is exactly what you want, where you want it and how you want it. The only compromise is matching tastes to budgets but a happy medium isnt too hard to achieve there. However the new home comes at a price: disruption to our current very comfy lifestyle, another major move around the middle of next year, the financial drain of establishing it all and then settling into a new environment. I had big plans for next year but in reality I'm just gonna sit tight and see how things pan out.

Cheers all

Magda