(LACK OF) PASSION

Tonight I read Kek's post about passion and it dawned on me that right now I have a serious LACK of passion. I have drifted through the first half of 2009 ... well I actually feel like I've crawled over broken glass sometimes ....and not made any inroads on the goals that I set at the start of the year. For instance here is what I've cut and pasted from my "Goal Post" done in early Jan.

My first goal is to to get my weight down to 60-62kgs and I want to achieve this in 12 weeks which will be very close to my wedding anniversary: Bombed out on this one.

A week later I'm off for a girls only weekend to Sydney. My girlfriends are both quite slim and this year and I dont want to be the fat-girl-out: Bombed out here too.

I long to be happy in my skin and generally happy with how I look. I want to enjoy good healthy food and the occassional treat and I want to feel good - happy, relaxed and not always fretting that I need to lose weight - over and over again: Yep still longing for all this.

..... my next goal of maintenance: This one has me laughing. I'm so far off the "m" word that its not even a flickering light in the distance.

To compete or not to compete that is the question: Not any more. The issue is more like "how do you expect to run when you cant even walk properly?" This is on the backburner for now.

..... to overhaul my wardrobe ....... Its my goal to ditch everything that is unflattering, unsuitable, dated, cheap and ready for donating to charity and then slowly replace with quality items: Yes but not at this size and shape. Cant stand the thought. Wont even entertain it.

Finally if there was one thing that I wanted for 2009 it would be BALANCE: And I still want it but havent found it yet.

So I sit here nearing the half way mark for 2009 and realise that when push came to shove, my efforts to achieve my goals fell by the roadside and I'm still where I was when I started. A classic case of lack of passion = lack of progress, I think.

I'm not sure that I can can just turn the passion fire on but I can start to take small steps towards achieving my goals in the second half of the year. Perhaps I'll look at it like this:

I spent the first six months learning that certain beliefs, actions and attitudes did not result in the changes that I wanted so now its time to do it differently. And I'll approach this with some excitement and determination and let the passion follow.

:-) Magda