Monday, October 20, 2008


Instead of making today's post one of "I did this" and "I did that", I wanted to write about stuff going on inside my head cause we all know that is what instigates our actions, be they good or bad.

OK: Training this morning: I was really tired from lack of sleep and I lay in bed for about 2 minutes before getting up. What spurred me on to get up? It was the thought of taking another step and continuing to move forward. Just get up, get dressed and do some cardio. Once I'm out there, all is good. I LOVE cardio. I did 45 minutes of alternating from one song power-walking then 2 songs jogging. Good level of intensity without being really full on and enjoyable too. So what was I thinking at the end of it? Gee I'm glad I did that and didnt give in to sheer laziness.

A couple of times at work today the pressure was on and I was feeling a bit like I was racing against the clock and I wouldnt make it. These are my danger times where I almost automatically reach for the junky comfort food. Aha!! Time for a new thought pattern. I had a little talk with myself. Stop. Breath. Think this through and then act on it, no matter how small a thing you do. The answer will come to you and it wont be in the bottom of the paper bag holding the cake or biscuits. I shifted my focus from the stress I was dealing with to finding a solution and stopped entertaining thoughts of how much better I'd feel if I just had that cake or those biscuits.

Right now this is all a conscious effort that I have to work at. Often I have to stop, think things through, challenge my old beliefs/excuses/justifications and make a decision to act differently than I have in the past. But thats ok because these are just more small steps in the long journey I have ahead of me. The time will come when these actions become semi-automatic and I'll know deep down how far I've come :-)

G'night all



little rene said...

Well written Magda! I think we all have these internal dialogues with ourselves and they can be tricky to negotiate at times thats for sure. Sounds like you are making great progress :)

Magda said...

Thanks Rene. I agree about those internal dialogues. Mine are usually to give me an excuse or justification for eating poorly. This will take some work but I'm determined to make it.