Friday, May 29, 2009

A TOUGH ADMISSION

Sometimes it takes ages for some things to sink in. It might be denial. It might be that you think you can manage it yourself. It might just be that you don’t realise how much you’ve suffered and struggled and the time you’ve wasted on it all.

At the end of the day all of that is irrelevant once you admit that there are some things in life that you just need help with. No need to feel embarrassed or ashamed of it. No need to feel inferior or inadequate (although this is easier said than done). It takes a big person to admit they have a problem AND then actively do something about it.

I’m at that point in my life.

Don’t get me wrong. In many ways my life is wonderful and I truly have a lot to be thankful for and I am thankful for it all. But unless I can get my mind in order and learn ways to keep it in order and to deal with my trigger situations in a positive way, I’ll forever be on this depressing merry-go-round of battling my Binge Monster and losing too many of the battles.

I’m admitting that I don’t know how to solve this problem. What I do know is how important and powerful the mind is in this regard. But how do I get it working for me instead of me constantly battling with it or just giving in cause its all too hard? I’ve read heaps of books and articles but it hasnt gelled for me. You could say that the penny hasn’t dropped or that I’m still missing pieces of the puzzle.

So I’ve taken a step that I’m hoping is in the right direction. I’m hoping that I get the help I need to learn how to overcome this problem once and for all. On Monday I’m seeing a sports psychologist at The Wakefield Sports Clinic. My mind is open to the possibilities here and let me say “I’m so ready to start believing that some of my longer term goals may just become realities”.

Watch this space folks.

Cheers

Magda

6 comments:

ss2306 said...

Good for you Madga.

It takes a lot of courage and guts to admit that you need help. And, it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

In fact, you should be proud of yourself for allowing others to help you get where you want to be.

God knows where I would have been had I kept struggling on my own.

Kerry W said...

Congratulations Magda on your admission. It's a quite a big and courageous step. It's also a positive step forward and I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Doris's BEHAG journey said...

Hey Magda
You too!!! Must be a week of admissions??? Well, maybe together we can keep each other on the right path, the path we started on and forgot to stay on. Let determination rule!

KRISTIN said...

Good luck with the next step Magda, I hope it goes well for you. You are one strong person for just taking that step :)

Frankie said...

Yep, the head's a hard one isn't it? Great step though and I'm sure you'll gain some insight into how you work :o)

Magda said...

Shelley, thanks for taking the time to email me. Its helped me heaps already.

Thanks Kerry. Its been a tough decision but a necessary one. Fingers crossed it doesnt disappoint.

Hey Doris. Ironic how we've meandered along in similar ways. I found your blog posts very close to home this week. I'm all for helping each other to stay on the right path. But right now I know I need some pro help to get me there and teach me how to stay there.

Thanks for your good wishes Kristin. I dont feel particularly strong right now. I just feel like I cant do this on my own any more.

Yes Frankie my head (mind) just isnt right and its like pushing sh*t uphill with a pointy stick. You just cant make progress. So time for something different asnf this truly is just that for me.

Thanks guys

Magda