Thursday, May 07, 2009


As I'm now clearly in another one of my "Struggle Street" zones it would be so easy to quit blogging. I mean who wants to put it out there for the world (well the blogging community) to know exactly what our weaknesses and shortcomings are. I mean we put so much energy into convincing people how good we are, reminding people of our brilliant achievements and singing our praises as loudly as we can. You know the saying ..."I'll blow my own trumpet coz no-one else will".

Yet I sit here and openly admit that I have an aspect of my life that I REALLY struggle with. In fact I suck at it and despite (almost) 46 years of experience I still cant do it right.

I did well at school and on leaving school I got a job easily. I've been promoted quickly to a level that I'm proud of and am now in a managerial position and getting great feedback on my performance. I'm doing work (at a managerial level) that I've never done before, which I've had to learn quickly, and I'm doing it well.

I've undergone (and passed) the very rigorous testing and screening which is mandatory if you are adopting a child. Trust me, its not for the faint-hearted ... EVERY aspect of your life is scrutinised to the nth degree. Despite a failed first marriage, I managed an amicable and fair split of which both my ex and I came out of ok. Husband #2 (otherwise known as WH - or Wonderful Husband) is just that. My man has the highest morals and ethics and expects the same from those around him. If somebody doesnt measure up to his (high) standards then he wont seek a friendship with them. Sometimes I wonder how we ended up together but I can also see that we complement each other well. I'm a good wife, a good mother and a good daughter.

I've had a successful sideline as a popular and reliable aerobics instructor. The gym at which I had worked since the early 90s, sadly farewelled me when I moved to Queensland in 2005. Upon my return to SA 2 years later, they happily gave me a job again and my old class members welcomed me back. In Queensland I built my PT business up to a level that I was very happy with. I had some great successes with clients and I really clicked with females of all ages but especially those that were somewhat more mature.

So when I look over all the things I've achieved which all point to the fact that I'm smart, capable, hard working etc I'm left wondering why I cant get something as fundamental and basic as eating right. Or maybe its not that fundamental and basic. Or maybe we lose sight of the forest for all the trees.

At times like these I need to get right back to basics. Peel away the layers of disappointments, self sabotage, self doubt, expectations, bad decisions and poor choices and lay the foundation again. Hoping that this time the engineering is right and its strong enough to ride out the future stresses.

A new approach is in order and it needs some thought. Be back soon.



Kate said...

I recently went through the same feelings. I ended up throwing away my eating plan and decided to eat sensibly, healthily and got right bck to basics.
You can do it. If I can, anyone can!!

Magda said...

Hi Kate,

thanks for your comment. I have a new plan coming up. Watch this space.