Tuesday, May 19, 2009


During lunch today I struggled with my Binge Monster who was making a lot of noise and trying to score one against me. I was out of the office for a while and here's what I went through as I had a small wander through the city.

BM: Hmmm it must be time to get something nice to eat. There's pizza and you get 2 slices for $5. Or what about some cake? You know you love cake more than anything else.

Me: But I want to be slim when I'm shopping in Singapore. I want to buy nice clothes. So shut the f*ck up!!

BM: Yeah but just imagine how nice the cake will taste. And it'll make you feel better.

Me: Its not all about the taste and I'll only feel good for 5 minutes and then I'll be disappointed in myself again. F*ck off I tell you!!

BM: Come on, just this one wont hurt.

Me: You know its never "just this one". It always turns into a 5000 calories + blowout and then I'm back at square one over and over again. So shut up, f*ck off and while you're at it go f*ck yourself!!!!

I went back to work still in control (just!!) and started to do my project reports.

Except I stared at my screen forever waiting for my brain to work. It (my brain) was blank. I looked at the writing on the screen and I didnt know what to do with it. My brain had closed for the day but I couldnt afford to be in this position so I made a decision to feed it some carbs and caffeine.

Off I trotted to the health food store where I bought a small vegan blueberry muffin. Then it was off to GJs for a small skim cappuccino. I enjoyed the treats together and I swear I walked out of GJs feeling like a new person. I had energy, I had some vitality, my mood was better, I was warmer and I was laughing and happy again. Back at work I killed the report writing with no probs at all.

But here's the icing on the cake (not that the vegan muffin had any icing LOL). After I had that I felt ok and was still in control and I knew I DIDNT WANT ANYTHING ELSE. No binging urges. No guilty feelings of "oh I've blown it". No regrets. I listened to my body and I gave it some of what it needed (not wanted but needed) and it repaid me with a feeling of contentment and maintained control. Now thats worth even more than winning the earlier battle with my Binge Monster.

Cheers all



Kerry W said...

Great stuff Magda...well done!

I remember when I was getting some life coaching, one of the NLP tools given to me, was to respond to a 'trigger' with a more positive response. That's exactly what you're doing and winning the battle! Keep it up!

Magda said...

Thanks Kerry

:-) M

Tearose said...

awesome Magda! Thats what I have noticed the healthier choices will leave you satisfied without making you feel like you must eat till you explode. I swear they have put some drug in junk food.

Magda said...

Yes Tearose its the classic case of 1 bite is too much and 1000 is never enough. Been down that road many a time.