Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Step One: Stop waiting to be rescued from your situation.

Others might help, encourage, support and even cheer you on (all good things) - but ultimately the only person who can genuinely change your life is you. So stop looking in the wrong place. It's not about finding the right book, program or guru, it's about finding some courage and self control.

Craig is talking to me again. I have shelves full of diet books, training books and self –help / motivational books. Always searching for THE SOLUTION. Every time I fall off the wagon with my diet and/or training program I’m searching for a better diet, different training, ways to fix my headspace. I’m on that luggage pick-up carousel going nowhere.

The answer is in me and yes it boils down to self-control and not giving into the Binge Monster. I’ve read books on it and been helped through PT coaching on it so now its time to DO IT. Apply your knowledge Magda. Find the courage to give it a go. Yep it’ll be hard sometimes but that’s life. There are people out there doing it FAR tougher than me. SUCK IT UP. Life could be worse.

Deep down, most of us know exactly what we need to do; the only problem is... it freaks us out! Take control of your life today; your relationships, your body, your finances, your career and your attitude. Control what you can and don't waste energy on what you can't. Hate to tell you but the Dude with the red boots and the 'S' on his chest; not real. He ain't gonna show. You'll have to rescue yourself.

Control. Who controls my life? I’ve let my Binge Monster control many days convincing myself that I deserved every first bite, that the 100th bite still gave me pleasure and the 1000th bite was a case of “oh I’ve blown it so why bother trying to be good”. Enjoy the food today. Diet tomorrow. Sin now. Pray later.

Attitude. When its good, its great but when its bad its destructive. Sometimes I feel like I’ve accepted this crappy pattern, which frequently makes me miserable. My actions certainly suggest so. But in my heart I know that I don’t want to live my life this way. I want to be a happier person, happier on the inside knowing that I’m living my life to its full potential and not wasting precious energy on repeatedly dragging myself out of this rut.

If I posted a photo now you’d see my palm print on the side of my face. But that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes you need a wake up call and if others are too kind (or in the case of my WH – just under too much pressure and stress at work to deal with my issues) to slap you into action, then its up to you to make it happen.

To be continued ….




Pip said...

Hi Magda!

Thank you for you're kind comment on my blog.

I can understand EXACTLY where you are coming from, have lost and regained many a time. Thank you for putting it out there, I know it's an issue with many people! I know 1st of Jan last year and 1st of Jan this year I weighed exactly the same, - (83-84kg).

And both years started with missions to 'get in control for once and for all'. Last year I started well, nice control, still socialised but kept it controlled and focussed. On 25th March last year I had made great progress, shed over 15kg - reached my lightest weight of the year that morning of 68.5kg. Then that same morning I had an unplanned 3 dutch melba toast crispbreads between brekkie and morning snack, and ate them in a rushed manner, maybe 150 cals max, nothing! I was so disappointed in myself for that, and ended up at a cafe for a big iced choc smoothie, and cheesy foccacia, then a few other restaurants that day, had many cocktails, Italian pasta serves, pizza and over 5000 cals that day on my own. That night I was all night analysing that, then I got on scales following morning. They were only up 700g from memory but I considered it a big sin and I'd never get back on track since I broke one of my rules and had the overindulgence 'hangover'. Result was by 21 July I was over 20kg heavier!!! 89.2kg to be precise, - had gained over 20kg in less than 3 months. I did take action then again. By mid May last year I would have been about 80kg, (after hitting 68.5 on 25 March). I have done this several times at that speed in my life.

This year I stuffed around a bit in getting going, - maybe some focussed weeks, (lost 2kg) followed by a less focussed few days, (gained 2kg) but kept on top of it better. And surely but progressively am improving habits to a level I'm quite happy with. Am around 70kg on my scales, (even with 68.9 on fitness coaches!) And 2 things that have made me happy of late is if I have a small unplanned thing to eat, it doesn't progress into an uncontrollable binge.

I am determined to keep up the better habits:-) Sorry for the long post.

Magda said...

Hey Pip,

dont apologise for the long post. It just goes to show that if you persevere, you'll get there despite the road not being straight and smooth.