Tuesday, May 12, 2009


So what have I been doing the last couple of days when I havent been giving myself the proverbial slap-out-of-this-misery pep talk?

I've been eating modified Paleo. Why modified? Well I'm keeping carbs low so there's been no fruit just lots of veges without necessarily counting their carb content. And in my scrambled egg whites for breakfast, I've added some low fat creamed cottage cheese. Why? Because I have some left over from last week, nobody else here eats it and I dont want to throw it out. My protein intake has been high, my intake of good fats is relatively high and my carbs are low.

But get this ... I've even skipped my morning skim cappuccino on the way to work. Not sure I want this to be permanent or to even go on for a longer time but I've managed 2 days without dying for this favourite experience (I go to a cafe, have my coffee and read the paper before going to work).

I've done about 45 mins of cardio in the morning cranking up to my 1 song walk / 1 song jog combo which was necessary as walking alone wasnt getting my heart rate up enough. I enjoy this combo as its challenging enough to get my HR into the zone but not exhasuting and the constantly changing pace makes the time go quicker than just walking, or dare I say jogging. Weight training is temporarily modified to full body, moderate weights, higher reps, circuit style work.

I'm feeling pretty good physically but I suspect I'm not really depleted yet. Whilst I'd like to keep up this eating regime for some time, I'm mindful just how tough it is so I'm prepared to modify it so as not to risk another binge session because I felt so physically crap.

Emotionally I'm still feeling a bit fragile but that'll pass after a few more days of eating well and putting distance between me and the last over-eating session on the weekend. To be honest, I feel quite internally sad about so many things that result from my behaviour patterns. The fact that I hardly have any clothes that fit me and my stubbornness to not buy new stuff while I'm trying to lose the weight. The embarassment of not making any weight loss progress after telling many people that I was competing again this year. And just looking at my body and feeling so unhappy about how it looks.

But I'll not dwell on all that. I'm taking action and I'm looking forward to seeing some good results. Not just on the scales but also in my headspace and how I ultimately feel.

:-) M


KRISTIN said...

Glad to see you are working through this Magda. Take each day as it comes, you have plenty of time to still get there if you want to. I love that you are so honest about your trials and tribulations, it's nice to know I'm not alone :)

Magda said...

Hey Kristin, I'll paint the picture as it is. No point in wearing rose coloured glasses but better to face up to reality. Hang in there. Goldie is a stone's throw away now.