Wednesday, August 18, 2010

BEWARE! VENTING

I'm sure there is no irony or coincidence attached to the fact that when one's diet is less than optimal and negative emotions are rife, the physical self will accordingly go into decline.

Once again I'm battling sharp pains thru my glutes and adductors and to a lesser degree my abductors, hamstrings and lower back. In a nutshell, my lower body feels fucked. The pain came on again on Sunday or Monday and by yesterday afternoon I could hardly sit for any length of time as the shooting and stabbing pains were relentless.

I had made an appopintment to see a physio but that was for Monday and I couldnt wait that long. In desperation I rang and got an appointment with my chiro today. A very interesting appointment followed but this is not about what he said and what I learned from him today.

This is about me feeling angry and depressed that my body lets me down and stuffs up my dreams and plans of running another HM. I hate feeling incapacitated, unable to do the things I love. I hate being in pain and wondering if I can indeed run the distances that I want to run. I'm angry that I'm in this predicament. I'm not that old and I just cant accept that my body wants to bail out on me. I'm depressed about it all and fed up.

Worse still is that none of my friends understand what this means to me. In their eyes, I'm wierd because I choose to be active. I'm the strange one that gets up at 5am when nobody could possibly do that. Sometimes I want to yell back at them "guys whats the alternative?? to never exercise, to be overweight or obese, to have no strength or fitness?" Wow that sounds like a great life.

This is not how I want to be and I will NOT accept that "oh I'm a bit older now so I cant expect to do ....". My chiro gave me some good advice today. It was simple. It  reminded me of what I've always known and done but had recently neglected. And it reminded me that when you're on a good thing, stick to it. Dont go looking for better (or different) because you may just end up with worse.

So now that I've got all that off my chest I'll get on with what I know I must do. Things will get better. The pain will go away and if I manage things better I may even avoid it in future (fingers crossed). I want at least one more go at the Greenbelt Half but this body has to work with me and not against me.

Now breathe and go to bed.

Magda

4 comments:

Kek said...

I know what you mean Magda. I swear I will slap the next person who says "Oh, your body just falls apart as you get older", or
"You won't be doing xxxx when you're 50".

I'm bloody 50 in less than four months and I'm not ready to just sit around and knit yet. Or probably ever. LOL.

Kristy said...

Magda even I get people telling me the same thing all the time. When you get to my age you won't be able to do this or this...

The lady coach of the Marion Masters would probably in her 60's and she still ski's, does triathlons and no idea what else, but she is very active. I know heaps of people that choose to be active. Even my 80 year old great aunt was out at 4.30 am or so walking her two dogs. She had to go out really early in summer in Arizona otherwise it was too hot for her.

You are doing the right thing Magda. It is just a shame there aren't more of us... I loved my walk again this morning at 5.30... Puts me in a really good place!

Gillian said...

Hi Magda. What did the chiro say? I was having a lot of trouble and in the end it was the chiro not the physio who was able to fix it.
Keep going, anything worth doing is not always going to be easy.

Magda said...

Ladies I have responded to your comments via my blog post today. Thanks for taking the time to comment but I havent finished on this topic.