Tuesday, August 17, 2010


...... and the train is derailed and heading for "Station Two Giant Steps Backwards", I'm left wondering why this happens to me over and over again.

Is the desire to change an intermitent process like turning a tap on and off? How can it be so strong one day and then like the flick of a switch, its turned off. Maybe not that instantly but like a game of dominos when one comes down, we all know that most will follow. We seem to be so easily drawn in to the easy option of throwing our hands in the air and declaring it all to be too hard.

A wise person once wrote (and no I'm not linking to them) : Dont let your minor slip-ups become the beginning of the end. Great advice!! So why dont we listen to it, follow it and know that we'll be ok again. Do we have to hit rock bottom before we can begin to bounce back up? It takes a mighty strong person to stop their own free fall and claw their way back up. I just dont feel that strong right now. There is emotion to deal with. Disappointment to handle and put into perspective. Some more soul searching and maybe a healthy dose of "harden the fuck up princess."

There may have been an evolution happening over the last year or so but at times like this I feel there is so much further to go and I wonder how I'll get myself there.



Kristy said...

I have tried replying to your post several times and I honesty don't know what to say.

I have been there so many time myself and even though I haven't been binging and feeling much better my pants are still tight.

I feel that pain Magda, if you would like to email me about your emotion I am happy to listen. This can sometimes help to get it out in writing.


LizN said...

Magda, all part of your evolution. You're not going backwards, probably the behaviours you don't want are becoming more obvious faster.
Chin up>

Magda said...

Hi Kristy. I got your email and will respond soon.

Thanks Liz. I will post further on this shortly.

Michelle said...

I know what you mean. Your story reminds me of the tale of the emperors rings, which states "this too shall pass". It's a reminder to us that when things are going well to take heed and that when things are going not so well they are too sure to change.

Sarah Wilson blogged about taking time out when things seem to be racing along. I think this is so true. Sometimes we get caught up in the moment we forget to stop and take the lay of the land.

All the best