Tuesday, August 10, 2010


This is my 900th post to this blog. I started it on 1 December 2006 on the eve of starting my comp prep for a September 2007 show. I’ve re-read my first post and with the benefit of hindsight I now realise how skewed and wrong my thinking was. There I was gearing up to compete in the hope that the diet and training would fix my yoyo dieting and emotional eating. All I wanted was to make it to the stage and be lean and toned and oh so proud of how I looked.

Who would have predicted the tumultuous journey that I went through to get there? But I was determined to see my goal through and in all of the ups and downs (and there were LOTS of downs) I always kept going no matter how tough it was. I have a couple of medals as evidence of my hard work and steely determination and my training room has a large framed print of me on comp day with my medals also included in the frame. No matter what happened after, I’m still incredibly proud of what I achieved and have no regrets about doing it.

So what did happen after? In a nutshell I had two years of trying to come to terms with the post comp weight gain, deciding I’d compete again, dieting again, losing control and over-eating again. This cycle was repeated ad infinitum. I tried everything to get my control back and get my weight to a happy place. But the pattern was set and I just couldn’t break out of it. I was in a downward spiral and didn’t know how to reset the direction I was travelling in. Man they were a tough couple of years.

So finally about a year ago I sought professional help and found a great Sports Psychologist who I clicked with and very quickly I was on the road to recovery. (Well there was a lot more to it than that but it really did happen easily once I understood the psychology behind my thoughts and actions). Soon after I made one of the most important and significant decisions of my life: I decided that I would never diet again.

From there on I began a journey of trusting my instincts to know what and how much to eat in order to maintain my weight and lose a little more. I also allowed myself to gravitate towards exercise I enjoy rather than slavishly following what I thought I should be doing. Hence the runner in me emerged and my passion for it grew and grew over the following months. I was determined to run a half marathon in under 2 hours 30 minutes and I achieved my goal in April of this year.

It hasn’t all been an easy ride or a bed of roses over the last year. Many times I’ve reached out for help from fellow bloggers but in the end I realise that all of my answers are within me. When I stray off course (and I certainly have on many occasions) I can refocus by asking myself who I want to be and how I want to live my life. The answers steer me back in the right direction.

I can honestly say that my life is in a happy place and I’m happy within my skin, calmer and more accepting of me and all my faults. I make mistakes and I forgive myself. I go with the flow and stress less. I trust myself to know what is right for me and what is best for me. I will not be told what and how much to eat by anybody any more no matter how much I respect them in their professional roles. When I need help and support with my running training, I turn to the professionals. If I have a goal, I pursue it with passion.

So who knows where my next 900 posts will take me? I have no big plans or goals for the second half of this year but am working on getting a few kilos off so that I feel better, look better and run better. Its not a painful or depressing process this time. I’d like to change the direction and focus of my blog as well but need a decent time commitment to make that happen. Who knows, maybe I’ll make that my goal for my 1000th post.

Cheers all



Kristy said...

I remember how hard it was for you Magda competing, but you got there... You are in such a great place now Magda. I know I too will get there in that good place where I can maintain a healthy weight without dieting.

Charlotte Orr said...

Great post Magda.

LizN said...

great post Magda, it's been a real "evolution" and one worth reading :)

Magda said...

Yes Kristy you know first hand how tough the end of my comp prep was but like I said "no regrets".I'm looking forward to you joining me where I am now :-)

Thanks Charlotte. It turned into a bit of an autobiography.

I never thought of it that way Liz but you're exactly right. (I love that term and am thinking of clever things to do with it).

Cheers guys and thanks