CHOICES

Tonight I could whinge and moan or I could rant and rave.

Maybe even cry.

Or I could get off Blogger til I feel better and have something positive to say. I know its not always a bed of roses but right now I feel the less said the better.

M

WIERD PLACE

I'm in a wierd place tonight.

Cant say I'm happy. But not sad either. Certainly not beside myself with anger, frustration and other negative feelings like in the past. But all is not right as I've been grumpy and short-tempered with my BS. Gotta get myself to my "happy place" and be a nicer person to be around.

I have niggling pains in my knees which ring little alarm bells every so often. Because I havent trained for almost two weeks, my muscles feel different, like they're going into hibernation. Must turn that around this week.

OPS11J has not been a success because my "good-time-girl" headset took over. I'll get there, just not in time for Sydney which is just 4 sleeps away.

Well not much else to say so will bid farewell until next time.

M

M.I.(N).A, LIGHTBULB MOMENTS AND LOOKING FORWARD

Hello all,

its been a while since I've been able to blog. Catching up tonight (by candlelight as we observe earth-hour) I read about the sad losses that Sam and Jadey have had recently and my heart goes out to both.

M.I.(N).A

I have truly been Missing In (Non) Action. What do I mean by "non action"? Well I mean "non action towards achieving my fitness and figure goals". (Hanging head in shame). Last weekend the Clipsal 500 came to Adelaide and so did my FIL on the night after my last blog. So we were out to dinner every night and then we'd come home and sit outside drinking coffee (or tea) and eating Tim Tams (yep a few passed my lips). On the Friday I went to the Clipsal as a guest of one of our service providers in their corporate box. OMG its the only way to go!! But it did mean some more off-plan eating as part of the "enjoyment and lets-be-sociable-factor". On the Sunday night all the family were over our place for dinner and I did something I havent done for a VERY VERY LONG time. I had a few wines. And then I had a few more. And then I got stuck into some Baileys Irish Cream. WH just about died of shock as I havent drunk that much in ages.

And did I feel it afterwards?? I had a 3 day hangover. Couldnt work on Monday. Had to go back on Tuesday, despite still feeling seedy and totally out of sorts and I still had the hangover headache on Wednesday morning. WH had a great laugh. All I can say is, now that I've done it and remember what its like, I'm not about to do it again. I'll quite happily go back to my 2 glasses / week or 2 glasses on special social occassions limit. Oh and to make this all worse still, I skipped training on those days except for a few half-hearted walks.

This episode was followed up by some mega busy days at work which meant I was working at home in the evenings (and quite late some nights) and blogging was a distant memory. So to take a phrase from the wise one (Liz) - I've had the paddles out of the water for a while and have drifted backwards. Not where I wanted to be BUT I've had some fun along the way and learnt some more valuable lessons.

LIGHTBULB MOMENTS 1 and 2

On Thursday WH and I had our 14th wedding anniversary. We celebrated last night by staying at a posh hotel in the city and going out for a nice dinner. It was a lovely treat and we both really enjoyed it (well most of it). Read on.

The lift in the hotel was really brightly lit and mirrored on every surface. There was no escaping your reflection from every conceivable angle (10 x worse than any change room nightmare we girls may have experienced in the past). So getting in the lift this morning facing cold, hard, sober reality I was saddened by the reflection looking back at me. I thought I looked ok in stretchy and flowing black pants and a loose jacket worn over a bright T shirt. But what I saw looking back at me was an overweight woman with an express ticket to Frumpsville. I dont mean to put myself down but the reality was that I looked ..... "approaching old and frumpy".

Then in the dining room at breakfast I'm drinking my coffee alone as WH has gone to search for a toilet. My eye is caught by a stunning woman with the BEST LEGS AND GLUTES I've seen in ages. She's wearing a short black dress/skirt (showing them off) and killer black heels. OMG I cant take my eyes off her. But here's the best bit. She's beautifully groomed but looking at her face, she's OLDER than me. I watch her pile her plate with fresh fruit and immediately regret the 2 mini danishes I've just finished (its a buffet and yep I struggle with the "free food" concept). If I felt cr*p after the lift episode, I now feel even cr*ppier. But it gets me thinking .......

1. Having a good physique is not exclusive to the young and gifted. Sure, for some it comes easier than others but we all have the potential to eat well, train hard and do these CONSISTENTLY. Its very easy to make excuses for copping out (just read my post tonight) but in the end we do ourselves no favours.

2. Looking back at me in the lift today was my alter-ego "Sin Now Pray Later Magda". She's the voice in my head going "go on have the cake, biscuits, wine, cheese, etc cause this one wont really matter. You''ll diet it off tomorrow, next week, next month, whenever". And if she is allowed control over me then I'll be Queen of Frumpsville in no time.

I dont want to go there and its a title I dont want to have. Excuse me, I've got some hard paddling to do.

Be back tomorrow.

M

THANKS ....

.... for the comments on my last post. The study has been weighing heavily on my mind and it helped to air it. I have some time before I decide which course to apply for and both courses start later in the year but I like to be mentally prepared and have things sorted in my mind. I guess it comes back to establishing a routine which ultimately makes me happy.

I'm not in the mood to blog more tonight. Its late and I must get to bed. We have a busy few days with Father-In-Law arriving tomorrow for the Clipsal 500. I have a corporate invite for Friday which will be a real treat and the men will be rev-heading all weekend. Then its out for dinners, breakfast, family BBQs and whatever else we can fit in.

Not feeling positive about the Size 11 jeans fitting anytime soon :-(

Magda

HOW MUCH CAN YOU FIT INTO ONE LIFE?

Firstly let me preface by saying that this is not meant to be a whingy, woe is me, I'm-so-busy-and-how-can-I-fit-more-in post. Many bloggers have very busy lives. Some work fulltime in industries removed from health and fitness, some work as PTs, instructors, some work part-time or are full-time mums. We train at all different hours. Some are up and at it at 4am or earlier, or straight into it after work. Maybe you train twice a day or squeeze your training in between clients and classes in the gym. What I'm saying is that nobody I know is cruising through it all with oodles of time just to train and diet and devote 100% effort to maintaining the ideal health and fitness lifestyle.

But lately I've been asking myself "how much can I fit into one life?" Let me elaborate (and digress away from the health and fitness lifestyle for a moment).

Since August last year I've been doing a different job. I was previously a Project Manager for capital works projects in a large government department. I'm now in a small government department in a management position with responsibility for a number of programs and related functions. I'm filling in for somebody on maternity leave so its not a permanent arrangement.

I am loving this job. Its interesting and challenging and I'm lucky to have a great team of staff and a fantastic boss. But it will end in August or September this year. I've contemplated going back to my previous position but WH says I'm a much better person since I've been here and in reality I dont really want to go back. To that end, I'm 99% decided that I'll undertake some study to improve my chances of getting a permanent management position if not where I am now, then elsewhere. I attended an info session for one of my course options on Wednesday evening and came away very inspired (albeit with a few too many hors deuvres in me!!)

This prospect is exciting and scary. Exciting if I get into my preferred course which is very attractive and sounds like it'll meet my needs on a number of levels. Scary?? Oh hell yeah. I havent studied for a LONG time. How will I cope academically? How will I cope from a time managememt perspective? How will I cope with another change to my lifestyle and routine? This is where I'm asking myself "how much can I fit into one life?"

I started the year with a burning desire to compete again. I was determined and focussed to achieve this goal and I have already worked hard towards it. But I'm now battling all sorts of doubts. Especially around whether I can maintain the level of training required to get me to comp standard again and put in the time needed to do well in my studies.

Like most people I find change unsettling. I love routine. I love to know that Saturday is leg day, Monday is sprints, Friday is my day off. I often have the same thing for dinner maybe 4 times a week. I'm happy with that. So, with so much "unknown" looming I'm a bit out of sorts and yes I admit, I'm doubting myself (maybe why Binge Monster has scored a couple of wins recently). Will I have to put the competing goal on the back-burner or can I achieve the elusive Superwoman Status and do it all?

(BTW this was the reason I suffered some major insomnia a few weeks ago and I'm now training on my own as I juggle finances to make this and other stuff around home possible.)

Hmmm maybe I'm needing some love and positive vibes sent my way LOL. Or some words of wisdom from someone not so caught up in it all.

Magda

GLAD THIS WEEK IS OVER ....

.... why??

Well its been less than ideal on the nutrition front.

1. Monday was a public holiday here and after several weekends of it being all about us, this weekend we socialised and had my parents over for a BBQ (SIL + BIL declined their invite - all is not well in their world). I chose to have a wine (or two) that evening and with it came some yummy but not-so-lean-and-clean-nibbles (think brie cheese, crackers and cashews). The BBQ was great and so was the desert I shouldnt have had.

2. On Wednesday night I was out (will post about that soon) and wine was offered and I accepted. WRONG CHOICE!! Cause it was followed up with the yummiest (and therfore what must be the fattiest) hors deuvres. Yep a few too many found their way into my mouth. Damn it!! And I was planning to be good.

3. Thursday - hmmmm perhaps best described as a red light day or "score one for the Binge Monster". At least I'm not following it up with a long self indulgent post about my actions and subsequent feelings. Just thinking things through and trying something different to manage better next time.

So I'm glad that the week ends soon and I have a fresh start tomorrow. You win some. You lose some. You have good weeks. You have not so good weeks. You can fall in a heap and feel like you're worthless cr*p. Or you can accept that you stuffed up, made some poor choices but that you'll put it behind you and make the next day a good one.

WOOHOO its the weekend and THAT is to be relished.

:-) Magda

FOUND: MY TRAINING GROOVE

Since my last post I've knocked off 2 more training sessions.

Yesterday was shoulders and bis which is the end of my "weight training week". Being 2 smaller muscle groups its not a killer session and in fact in all my training I've never had shoulder DOMS despite working to failure on some exercises and clocking up a reasonable amount of sets and reps. Following that I did a short session of steady state cardio on my exercise bike.

Last night I was out for an issue which I'll post about soon. Lots going on inside my head and a big decision looming. Watch this space ....

Today's training started a bit lacklustre so I headed out with "just walk if thats all you want to do". At least it was a warm morning :-) and it wasnt windy :-) :-). After one song I decided that I felt ok to jog a song and proceeded to do so. All good so I decided I could jog a second song and then I'd have a song walking. Hello!! this is one of my fave cardio sessions - 1 song walk / 2 songs jog which I did for about 9 songs (I actually lost count as my thoughts were constantly elsewhere).

At about the half hour mark I decided that I actually wanted to do some sprints so I headed over to my fave sprint track and luckily today it was deserted. I belted out 5 x 100m sprints and felt really good doing so. Then it was time to head home which was a short-medium walk away. Aha one last chance to make a difference here so I did 4 x 20 walking lunges and then on my front lawn (luckily it was still dark) I did 4 x 10 jump squats.

Voila training done for this week. Tomorrow is my rest day and my week starts again on Saturday.

Magda

LOST: MY TRAINING GROOVE

I'm changing the focus of my blogs away from food (for a bit at least) and focussing more on training. So today I had this cracker post planned about an awesome session of cardio / legs that I was going to do. I had it all planned out in my head and was mentally ready to cane it.

Alas my session didnt go according to plan.

I walked to my local oval where there is a great paved track thats about 100m. Its well lit with a very gentle slope and it resembles a true running track. I love to sprint there. But on the way there (and its 5.20am mind you) I see someone walking near my track. I start to jog around the oval looking out for the walker who I've lost sight of. Then I see them sitting on a bench at the covered picnic area right adjacent to my track. BUGGER!! What are they doing just sitting there at this ridiculous time of the day? I change course and run elsewhere but I'm unsettled and annoyed that they upset my plans.

NOTE: I didnt feel in danger at all but I wasnt going to test my luck.

So I came back closer to home and picked a street which looked good for a sprint track and off I went doing my first sprint. A couple of seconds to recover and its into walking lunges. My plan was to do them for the length of the sprint track but I soon realise that's damn near impossible and I settle for 20. A couple of seconds recovery and its into 10 squat jumps. By the 8th rep my legs are screaming and I'm thinking "what was I thinking when I thought I'd repeat this sequence 10 times?"

Anyway it wasnt to be. On the second repeat a big van comes tearing down the street and around the corner of the park there and pulls up to a fast stop. Again I dont like the look of the situation and move elsewhere (another street) for one more repeat of my sequence.

By now I've had enough. I cant find my groove. My legs are screaming and I'm in that pouty "I dont like this" mood. So I stayed close to home and did a mix of jogging and walking to take me up to 6am. I did venture back to the oval when the Step Into Lifers had set up their flood lights and I felt totally safe with it all lit up. But in all it was one of more crappy sessions and I certainly didnt finish it feeling like I had conquered the world. Maybe that'll be next time :-)

Magda

PS My legs were SOOOO tired after this so it must have been somewhat effective even if I didnt achieve what I had set out to do.

CHANGING TASTES AND HIGH EXPECTATIONS

Today I had the good fortune of eating out twice and not just once. This morning the Adelaide Figure Girls (Kerry and Cheryl) and Coach H and I had brunch at the Old Lion Hotel. (Not a patch on The Store which was chockers and we couldnt get a table). After an hour + of cardio before breakfast, I decided to go the carb option instead of the usual protein based meal. I had fig / apricot bread (a small thick slice) with a dollop of yogurt (sweet and spicy) and a little berry compote. It was a tiny serve and Coach H gave me one of his pancakes when he saw my sad face at the size of my meal.

I remember a time when a meal like that (carbs, carbs and more carbs) would send me into raptures. I would salivate at the thought of it and savour every sweet mouthful. I must say that today I thought it was tasty and nice but I would have enjoyed my favourite Store omelette a lot more. How times change??!!

I had dinner out with WH and BS after a brief visit to Womad. I always get excited when I see interesting salads on a menu so the nicoise salad with tommy ruff fillets and the usual nicoise ingredients (boiled egg, olives, green beans, chargrilled capsicum, chat potatoes and cos lettuce with a red vinaigrette dressing) was my inspired choice tonight. Except it was so disappointing. 2 little dry bits of tommy ruff, soggy lettuce, lots of potato (wasted on me) and a couple beans was the offering and it just didnt cut it. Thank God for my glass of wine and 1 slice of garlic bread.

I'm disappointed that tonight's meal was not enjoyable. We dont go out a lot anymore so when we do I really look forward to it. Its a shame to be let down.

Magda

PS I think I have to stop blogging about food so much lately. Its been the topic of my posts just about all week. OOPS.

SPEED SHOPPING AND CHOWING DOWN

Following in the vein of OMG I'm so hungry lately here's a snapshot of my day.

I've trained legs and followed it up with a brief HIIT on the ex bike as time is short. I bolt down breakfast of my oat / egg whites / cottage cheese pancake with banana, SF maple syrup and LSA. Need to hit the shower to get some morning chores done. EXCEPT WH breaks into conversation about a matter I couldnt brush off. BUGGER!! Time is slipping away but this cant be ignored.

Anyway some of the chores are done and I race BS off to his swimming lesson. When we get back its 3 hours since I had breakfast and I'm HUNGRY!! I start to organise WH's lunch before I get mine. Except WH is standing along side the kitchen benchtop with hands on hips waiting for me to get out of the way so he can finish cleaning the floors.

"But I'm starving. I need to eat," I plead.
He rolls his eyes and is about to throw down the mop.
"Oh no," I think, "I'll have to finish cleaning the floors." So I quickly scoot out of the kitchen muttering that I'll have a coffee before I shop and I'll be ok. I know there's a Slim Secrets bar in my bag and that, with a skim cappuccino will tide me over. Out of there I race and off to do the shopping.

Settle into my local coffee shop with a skim cappucino ordered and reach for the bar. BUGGER!! Its in my other bag. Geez the stack of fruit loaf slices looks soooooo appetising and I almost order a serve but decide against it. Instead I do the quickest grocery shop known to man, race home, throw some veges and protein together and chow down like there's no tomorrow.

CHALLENGE FACED. CHALLENGE CONQUERED.

Magda

UNLEASAHING THE HUNGRY TIGER

I'm not happy about the cooler weather which has descended on us. No complaints about the much needed rain but I'm not ready for summer to be over and the weather to be cool so early in autumn. I feel like I've been shortchanged. Winter is SO LONG and the cold weather seems to go on forever and then its finally summer but its over in the blink of an eye. We need more heat!!

But I think what I'm finding the hardest to deal with is my increased appetite in the cold. I had a later than usual breakfast due to a much needed sleep in. So I skipped morning snack and planned to have an earlier lunch. That didnt eventuate as a scheduled meeting started late and lunch ended up being later too. I came out of the meeting starving, only to be bombarded by my staff with issues galore. They know me by now though. I tell them I MUST eat or I'll pass out and they usually leave me alone until I'm fed, human and approachable again. Its that serious!!

But WTF, an hour after lunch my stomach was rumbling again like a wildly hungry tiger had been unleashed inside me. So an hour and a half after lunch I ate my afternoon snack and had a big mug of peppermint tea (hanging out for some Diet Coke, I tell you!!) and prayed it would sustain me. By the time I left work at 5.15 I was really hungry again and I'm sure its the colder weather. Solution I think is more hot food and maybe a little increase in cals.

But to finish on a happy and positive note, at this morning's weigh in I had reached the milestone of 10kgs off since since 1 November. I was so happy about this and I'm finally feeling like I'm a "normal size" and not large or fat. Its a great feeling and I love it. I'm wearing clothes that I havent fitted into for a long time and my fatter clothes are now looking embarassingly baggy. The size 11 jeans havent been tested but I'm sure fitting into them is not far off.

So on that note I'm going to gear up for a fantastic long weekend and hope you all have one too.

:-) Magda

WHEN ONLY A LAKSA WILL DO

Every Thursday my work colleague Miss J and I go out for lunch and have a thai meal thats cheap, cheerful and very tasty. I normally order a chicken + veg dish with various (cleanish) flavours and I leave the huge pile of streamed jasmine rice that it comes with. Its actually quite a small serve so the guilt or sinning factor after consuming it is virtually ZERO.

But today was quite cold and I was feeling it plus I was feeling extra hungry. I knew the piddly little meal I normally have just wasnt going to cut it today and I might be looking for something else afterwards ...something that I shouldnt be having in quantities that would feed a small third world country.

So I ordered a chicken laksa which, true to its name was loaded with chicken breast, some veges, noodles and the usual laksa soup. It was devine. It was tasty. It was filling. It was just what I needed. Accounting for it on CalKing was a challenge so I picked the middle option of laksa meals and stopped fretting over it. I dropped my afternoon snack as I truly didnt need it and I modified my dinner to lower calories and lower fat content (the grilled atlantic salmon was replaced with tuna) and my daily totals were ok. Now if thats not scoring a few home runs, I dont know what is!!

Oh and I did my sprints this morning followed by my favourite walk / jog combo. Only my HRM wasnt turned on so I couldnt record how many calories I'd torched or what my HR was etc. Never mind I know I worked hard despite having another bout of "oh poo, I dont want to do it".

Magda

THE LAZY FITNESS CHICK WITH THE DIET COKE ADDICTION

This morning I almost went back to sleep when my alarm went off at 4.40. Then I remembered it was Shoulder Day and here was my chance to make those babies grow (well as much as you can when you're dieting and cardioing to fit into size 11 jeans) so I dragged myself out of bed and started with little enthusiasm. Lo and behold by the 2nd set I was right into it and lovin' every minute. Then a brief hammering of the bis followed and a bit of cardio to boot. In fact I was planning 20 minutes of cardio and ended up doing 30 instead. Easily done when on the bike and reading a good book (Eat Pray Love by Liz Gilbert - can highly recommend).

I just gotta share this little ditty with you guys. Conversation at work today with colleague Miss C (who, BTW is young enough to be my daughter and a real sweetie).

Me: (holding empty mug and peppermint tea bag at 4.30pm): (sigh) Oh its peppermint tea today instead of my usual Diet Coke.

Miss C: (enthusiastic) Good girl thats great. Well done for ditching the Diet Coke. Its bad for you, you know. You can do it. Just dont have it again.

Me: (sheepish) I've run out of cans of Diet Coke at home and I'm just too lazy to walk to the shops to buy one.

Miss C: (appalled but laughing hysterically) Listen to this, the fitness chick is too lazy to walk to the shops. What hope is there for the rest of us?

I drag myself over to the kitchen to make the cup of tea coz I truly cant face walking to the shops to buy my much loved Diet Coke.

Geez whats a girl gotta do justify her Diet Coke addiction and maintain her "fitness chick" image?

:-) Magda

FEELING LEAN, MEAN AND NOSTALGIC

Today the scale bounced back a little but I'm feeling lean and mean so the numbers are not doing my head in. (I still dont weigh every day but was a bit curious this morning). On Sunday I wore a pair of (largish) size 10 capri pants and they were quite loose. Today the stripy pants got another outing. These are a size 12 and were purchased when I was well over 70kgs last year. They are really loose now and wearing a belt with them is obligatory. I'm definitely feeling smaller and leaner and am pretty happy about it.

At work today I shared my 2007 comp pictures with one of my colleagues. I felt all misty and nostalgic flicking through the pictures from the Asia Pacific Championships held in Sydney. So many memories came flooding back and I felt so proud of what I had achieved that year. Hearing my colleague's "Oh my God you look amazing" reaction certainly made me puff up even prouder than before. I just know in my heart that I'll do it again. I'm training for this year but I have some other factors coming into play which may delay my plans. Time and future developments will tell.

Funny how many other bloggers are recently also contemplating their returns to competing. It seems to be the hot topic of blogs for the retired / semi-retired. So on that note I have a training session to prepare for so that I start as close to 5.40am in the morning as possible. Have a great night all.

Magda

OP S11J

How funny!! This morning the Whoosh Fairy graced me with a nice .5kg loss and I’m now sitting nicely in the 66s thank you very much. I guess last night’s leg session and cardio helped to nudge things down.

A couple of weeks ago we had a casual day at work to raise money for the Victorian Bushfire Appeal. With trepidation I pulled out the only pair of jeans that I thought would fit (yes the fugly ones) and sure enough they are now not only fugly but very baggy and fugly making them ultra fugly. Eegads I went to work in a pair of casual looking stripy pants lamenting that right now, I have no jeans that fit me.

However, in my wardrobe hangs a pair of size 11s that when they fit, look great. I tried them on very recently and they were still way too tight. I have made progress though, as last time I couldn’t even get them up. I’ll probably survive March without them BUT on April 2 I’m off to Sydney for a girls’ weekend and I MUST have jeans for that weekend. So March goal is to fit into those Size 11 jeans by 2 April, hence the OP S11J (Operation Size 11 Jeans)

So on that note I’m cranking the cardio up a bit and will be smacking down that bl**dy Binge Monster when he thinks he’s going to be boss again. 30 days to make a difference and I’m a woman on a mission. If .... NO! When I succeed I’ll have to post a pic as proof of my achievement.

Cheers

Magda

FEBRUARY SUMMARY

Following in the spirit of my January Summary (see 1 Feb post), I thought I'd do the same again and its a bit of an eye opener now that I've looked back.

WEIGHT

I finished January at 68kgs and was roaring along beautifully looking like I'd cruise into the 66s and maybe even the 65s. :-( This morning I was 67 on the dot. More about that later. I have lost a total of 8cms over 5 sites so I better be happy about that.

TRAINING

Feb was a bit of a topsy turvy month and it took me quite a while to find my groove. I trained hard most of the time but I was out of sorts until I was in a routine. I'm still not quite in a routine per se but I'm working towards one and then I'll feel more settled. The reason for my late post tonight is that I trained legs at 8pm and followed up with 20 mins cardio on my exercise bike. I really wanted to get the session done over the weekend and we were out all day today so it had to be tonight.

HEADSPACE

This has been good overall. However the Binge Monster paid a nasty visit in the middle of Feb and sent me into a downward spiral for a few days. Emotions downward. Weight upward. Double whammy. Had it not been for that, I would have made it into the 66s but the past is past and I'll leave it there. I DID have many instances where there was an urge to eat the wrong thing but I stayed strong and I'm pleased that I seem to be improving in this area.

HIGH POINTS

Work has been "normal" instead of really busy and thats a nice change. The other high points have been small ones like making the habit of having breakfast on the way to work on Fridays, enjoying some nice meals out, and completing some killer training sessions. All things that put a smile on my face. Oh and I almost forgot ... in Feb I smashed my 3 week curse and went 4 weeks without binging. Now that was an achievement for me.

LOW POINTS

Visit from Binge Monster and how bad I felt afterwards. End of story.

Next post will be about my March goal. Stay tuned.

Magda