THE COMPLEXITIES OF EATING

Who’d have thought that eating could be complex? I mean, how complex is 1. put food in mouth; 2. chew; 3. swallow; 4. repeat? But I think you might know where I’m heading with this. It’s the reasons we eat – especially those that don’t relate to hunger. Yep emotional eating, celebratory eating, keep-people-happy-eating just to name a few of these situations.

So here’s my simple take on this issue. Its not an indepth analysis of emotional eating – its causes, cures etc. Its how I’ve categorised my different modes of eating and assigned them a rating.

GREEN LIGHT EATING: Clean eating principles.

Lets start with the best and ideal form of eating. This is what comes naturally on most days when I’m making a decision to do what’s physically (and emotionally) best for me. When I am focussed on my short and long term goals and I’m committed to taking positive action, eating clean comes naturally. I make good choices because I want to, not because I feel I should. Aaaah I love a perfect world LOL.

AMBER LIGHT EATING: Celebratory eating, holiday eating, keep-people-happy-eating.

OK so most of the time I’m coasting along in my green light zone. All is good and I’m moving towards achieving my goals. Lo and behold there is a bump in the road and the light turns amber. We go on holidays and the eating is relaxed or we have an “occasion” and we indulge just a little – or maybe a lot or the feared invite to dinner at a friend’s or family’s place. Why feared? Well what if everything is deep-fried, or covered in creamy sauce and there isn’t a vegetable or salad within cooee? How do we handle that? This will depend on the situation but regardless it places me in that amber zone. Its like “beware, keep it in check and get back to green as soon as possible”. Sometimes I handle the amber zone well and sometimes it’s a guaranteed slide into …..

RED LIGHT EATING: Mindless eating, secret eating, binging

Oooh how I hate this zone for a whole range of reasons. Not just the physical effect of bloating, dry mouth, sugar hang-over, fluid retention and weight gain but the emotional effects are significant. The sense of loss of control, of feeling weak, silly, embarrassed if anybody found out … these are a bitter pill to swallow after swallowing a heap of junk already.

This year I’m working hard to significantly reduce my incidents of red light eating. I’m learning what triggers it and that’s a head start to learning how to avoid it. I’ve found my recent triggers to be: stress and/or pressure at work (when I’m really under the pump, comfort from food is very attractive to me); boredom with my regular food and feeling unsatisfied after my meals (yep all of a sudden I DESERVE that treat and once I’ve had it, well I’ve blown it all so I’ll just have more) and scale weight messing with my head (which is a separate post in itself). Sometimes an amber light eating episode will just morph into a red light one pretty much due to the “well I’ve blown it already so I might as well have everything junky I may ever want” mentality.

You would think that as an intelligent 40 something woman I would get this simple exercise right. But we all know that life is never that simple. So I’ll tackle the issue head on knowing that I have it in me to succeed.

:-) Magda

TRACKING NICELY THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Since my return to the real world (aka home and work) I've been tracking quite nicely. After my "relaxed holiday eating" its always a bit hard to get back on track but I was determined to do it. My IFG (Inner Fat Girl) - who is still not so inner - tried really hard to get me to keep eating treat foods with conversations like "go on, it'll taste fantastic" and "well you've eaten off track for a few days already so a few more wont matter". I had to give her a serious smack down and remind myself of my short and long term goals. So when I got to the end of the day clocking up another "Gold Coin Day" I was pretty pleased with myself.

So whats this Gold Coin Day I refer to? I have a jar on my kitchen bench top where I deposit a gold coin for every day I eat clean and on track. Its like my reward for a job well done that day and I'm getting a bit of a kick out of seeing the jar slowly fill up. I'm not 100% strict with my eating coz I'm not in "comp prep" or anything but I know how to eat to lose body fat and if I eat right then in goes a coin.

Training has been good (it usually is for me as I'm pretty religious with it) and WH and I have taken advantage of being kid-free this week. Yesterday, despite 37 degree heat we went for a 40 minute walk after work. I thought he'd pike out but no he was ok to do it so who was I to wimp out!! Dinner was chicken breast with Thai seasoning and a huge salad. Today we had to skip the walk as WH had work to do at home but I headed out on my own for a brisk trot after dinner had settled. Its a warm night and it was lovely being out in it.

So two days after my weekend away I'm still feeling a bit thicker around the middle but I know it'll go easily enough if I keep doing all the right things. Just taking a step at a time on the long road to success.

:-) Magda

THE QUEENSLAND TRIP ROUND UP

Well the Queensland weekend has come and gone and here is my report and round up.

BS and I headed off from Adelaide on Friday morning all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The flights were mainly uneventful and there were no dramas with the connecting flight in Sydney. I say mainly because we were very bumpy and unsteady on the landing in Maroochydore but to his credit the pilot got the plane down without any problems and to the cheers of all on board. We were picked up by the ILs and chauffeured to their resort home in the Sunshine Coast hinterland where a white wine was in order to mark the start of the mini-holiday.

This was followed up by a swim in the pool basking in the gloriously hot and sunny weather. Just perfect in my books. MIL cooked fresh salmon for dinner and some more white wine was consumed in the name of “holiday cheer”.

I was up before my alarm on Saturday morning (like at 5.15am!!) and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast of toasted home made wholemeal bread with peanut butter and butter and honey for breakfast. Too many carbs?? Who cares I was doing RPM high performance so the carbs wouldn’t be wasted. The drive to Indroopilly was ok and thanks to my trusty GPS I made it there despite road works and a few wrong turns. Then it was just a case of finding Fitness First on time. But I managed that ok as well. I was hugely relieved to get a big warm hug from Liz who helped set me up for the class.

I also met Lindy Olsen, Lisa Stokes and Shelley (again) and had Lisa on the bike next to me setting a cracking pace and giving no less than 100% on each track. I love RPM but I’m not built for speed so on the speed work I was feeling very inadequate. However give me some standing hills to power up and I will find every last bit of energy to give it my absolute best. Subsequently the last work track was my favourite. What an exhilarating feeling pushing out with max power to get up the final hills.

Liz is truly a brilliant instructor. She is inspiring and motivating and encouraging in just the right blend. You might walk in feeling a bit nervous or scared but you’re guaranteed to walk out feeling exhilarated and fantastic, albeit totally buggered LOL. After RPM we did a 1:1 training session to check my squat and deadlift techniques. In that hour or so we spent together I learnt so much about these two exercises and how to correct some problems I’d been having. It was well worth the flight to Queensland and the 90+ minute drive (each way) for the experience and knowledge gained. We also talked about where to take my training and what I can expect over the coming year.

Then it was off to Phuc Viet Deli for the famous rice paper rolls, which were to die for. Shelley joined us for a chat and I love the way we bloggers can get together for the first time and talk like we’ve been friends for ages (maybe its because we sort of have). Chatting with Shelley was fantastic. She is as positive and full of energy in person as she is on her blog … and she looks bloody awesome too!!

After Shelley left Liz and I chatted some more and again it was just so relaxed and nice to do it face to face instead of by email. Sadly by 11am or so it was time for me to head back. The afternoon was spent with a dear friend and his children who came to visit. My BS and his son spent the afternoon in the pool while we chatted the afternoon away. Dinner was at a neighbouring town pub with friends of my ILs and we had a crowd of 9 for the occasion. Once again a few white wines were enjoyed but food was in the “moderately bad” category (instead of disgustingly bad).

Sunday afternoon was spent travelling home once again via Sydney. I read my Women’s Health and Fitness magazine on the plane and finished it just as we landed. The lady sitting next to me asked what I had been reading and I showed her the mag and then decided to give it to her. It felt good to be able to do a small nice thing for someone. WH and I finished the “almost perfect weekend” with dinner out at a café and a big catch up of the weekend apart. Last chance to have a white wine (or two) before getting back to 100% clean food today.

Yes Liz I did have more than my 2 wines/week this weekend and now I’m back on track to eat well and train consistently. And it started with a 50 minute walk this morning at a fast pace keeping my HR in the working zone (or higher). Finally I just want to say how lucky I am and how thankful I am for the following:

1. To have such wonderful ILs that I can happily stay with and use my MIL’s car to do what I need to do when I visit.

2. My job may bring with it some pressure and stress which make life challenging but it also affords me the ability to travel to Queensland for a weekend to deliver my son for a holiday with his grandparents and for me to see Liz.

3. My WH who would have loved to do this trip himself but knew how important it was for me to do it and so he happily arranged for me to go.

4. To have Liz coach me to achieve my dreams, goals and aspirations.

Cheers all

Magda

FOR LIA

I promised that I'd post about the BOSU but rather than read my disjointed ramblings I suggest you pop in here http://www.bosu.com/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=bosu/story.html?article=2408.

Liz has me doing hamstring and glute work + core strengthening on it. Its a killer workout.

One sleep and I fly out. Looking forward to meeting Liz (again) on Saturday and am ready for a caning :-)

Cheers all

Magda

THE MEANING OF NUMBERS

As you know, the Metal Monster is being a total idiot this week. The sooner it learns that eating lean, clean food in moderation + drinking lots of water + training with intensity and consistency = numbers going DOWN, the happier I’ll be and we can continue our almost daily liaison. Its obviously a slow learner and unless it pulls its socks up, it’ll be a neglected slow learner.

Having said that, there was a drop this morning but its still .5kgs from last week’s weigh in on Friday so typically I’m still not happy. Oops sounding all glass-half-empty but that’s where I’m at with the silly bugger.

So on the walk to work this morning I got to thinking about numbers and what they mean. Within each aspect of health and fitness, is there a magical number at which life is just right?

Cholesterol reading: 5.5 seems to be the benchmark. Under and you’re ok but over and you’ll have the doctor threatening drugs. Some doctors are smart and bold enough to recommend lifestyle changes but many still revert to the drug cure all too quickly.

Resting hear rate: the lower the better as this indicates a superior level of cardiac fitness. However, venture too low and you approach the “dead” end of the spectrum so we cant be too literal in our interpretation. Working/training heart rates get more complex with a formula that you just draw upon when you’re about to cough a lung up after an intense cardio session, enabling you to calculate if you’re in your “training zone”. Or you can woos out of this challenging process and resort to the trusty Polar hear rate monitor but that’s like taking the easy way out.

Weight: is a veritable minefield if you consider scales, body fat scales, and consideration of gender, height and body composition. Lets look at scales alone. You hop on first thing in the morning and see what you weigh. Does it put a smile on your face or does it evoke a range of negative feelings? Does that number reflect “who you are” that day? Has it allowed for the salty soy sauce you put on your stir fired veges last night or the killer leg session that has you screaming with DOMS pain today? No! So how relevant is that number then?

What about body fat scales? What’s your percentage doing today? Has it swung up by 3% or has it dropped to an all time low but your weight has stayed the same? Think about it: loss of body fat but no loss in weight would have you thinking that the fat you lost turned into muscle. Hahaha I don’t think so. Once again, numbers all over the place so how accurate can they be.

Or you can get pinched for skinfolds or body fat percentage. That’s fine if you have ready access to an experienced body fat tester AND they test at a consistent time and you’re not holding fluid or …… again variables, variables and more variables.

Lets not even mention BMI where a muscly person who is actually really lean can be rated as overweight or nearing obesity.

So with all these considerations and knowing how different 2 people who weigh the same can look, we should ask ourselves what the numbers mean. Is there a magical number at which life is just right for you or do you see the numbers for what they are? “quotiety or how-many-ness” (Pocket Oxford Dictionary). They have no power, can be taken in many different contexts and are subject to unexplained fluctuations. Best not to get too bogged down in them, I think.

Cheers

Magda

METAL MONSTER MADNESS AND EARLY MORNING RUNNING

I miss my Bloglist but I cant be bothered trying to reinstate it all so I'm all over the place tracking down blogs I follow. Its a bit of a nuisance and I'll have to tackle the new Bloglist when I have more time.

The second thing thats pissin me off is the Metal Monster. It still insists on heading in the wrong direction despite clean eating well within my calorie allowance and regular training. I expected a bit of a spike on Sunday (well not really but it didnt surprise me) but then I also expected a drop after eating very clean that day. But it (MM) heads up a bit more just to really piss me off and reinforce my hate of weighing more than say twice a week. Yep I know it'll go up/down/up/down etc for its own purposes but quite frankly I feel I dont need to know what happens in between one week and a week later. Seeing it in black and white just raises my frustration levels.

We had a scorcher in Adelaide today (40 degrees+) and I just had to take advantage of this wonderful and rare occassion. (Yes I love hot weather) What am I talking about?? When its going to be really hot I love getting out in the early morning for a sweaty cardio session. So today I was heading out the door by 5am to do an hour long walk/jog session with several random jogging intervals of 2-4 minutes each. 444 was the magical calorie burn and I felt great when I got home. I SO love my cardio and always look forward to it.

But after my trip to Queensland - hello to all the RPMers I'm looking forward to meeting at Liz's class on Saturday - we are ramping up my weight training and keeping cardio at a moderate level. Still looking to lose the body fat but more importantly we gotta build me some muscles. I cant wait to get the nitty gritty details from Liz so I can work out how to fit the training into my life from a physical, emotional and nutrition-balancing perspective. That all sounds a bit complicated but they are things I need to have in order to make it work.

So on that note I'll say good night and finish getting tomorrow's meals ready. 3 sleeps and I'm on the plane to the Sunny Coast (via Sydney).

Cheers

Magda

:-(

F*CK I WENT TO UPDATE MY BLOGLIST AND I JUST DELETED IT ALL. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

THE WEEKEND ROUND -UP

Last night we had an unplanned impromptu dinner with our friends after my girlfriend and I took our boys to the movies. There is always some challenge around eating out when you are focussed on losing body fat so here's how its all went.

When the movie finished my girlfriend took my son to her place and I ducked home to picked up WH. I ate my healthy snack then as I was hungry and I didnt want to arrive back for dinner starving and guaranteed to hoe into the pre-dinner nibbles. That was a good decision because when the cheese, dip and crackers went out on the table, I wasn t tempted. I had a glass of wine that I slipped very slowly. My friend even commented that "you're not drinking that would you like something else?" I politelty refused and explained that I was taking it slowly as I was driving home. That wine lasted me 2+ hours!!

My friend is married to an Italian so she has become an excellent pasta cook and pasta was on the menu last night. I know she is conscious of cooking healthy meals for her family so I totally relaxed and enjoyed every mouthful of my tomato based sauce with chorizo and some veges over penne pasta. It was delicious and although it wasnt totally clean I wasnt stressing about it. I had salad with it and didnt overeat so I was pleased that I handled it so well.

Desert was chockies and biscuits which I passed on so any damage would have been minimal. Nevertheless Metal Montser decided by spike by .6kgs this morning after hitting a new low yesterday. Its such a silly bugger and I just cant warm to the frequent weighing no matter what good reasons there may be for it.

Training was fantastic yesterday with noticeable improvement on the BOSU so that was another bonus. Its still really really hard but I'm lasting longer on the various abdominal bracing holds. Today has been a rest day so I tackled the housework instead. WH didnt recognise the place when he got home from playing golf LOL.

4 days back at work and then I'm off to Queensland for the weekend. Doing Liz's killer RPM class on Saturday and then having a training session (if I'm still alive). Cant wait!!

Cheers all

Magda

HOLIDAYS ARE NEARING THEIR END

Sadly today was the last "work day" of my holidays and on Monday its back to the grind. BS and I pottered around and did some back-to-school shopping like buying a new lunch carrier, drink bottle and sneakers. We snuck in some more playground time, bought groceries and had lunch out (again). It was a good day but hopefully tomorrow we'll go to the movies with his friend and my best friend and that'll be a real treat.

I have been eating quite well since the new year and I feel that the Metal Monster will be kind tomorrow morning. It better be or it'll get a big swift kick and a string of unpleasant expletives thrown at it LOL. But seriously, I've been trying hard to break away from a "diet mentality" but logging on CalKing has the exact oppostite effect on me. If I'm out and having a meal I'm sizing it up to try and guess portions, then checking all the ingredients and then trying to guess what the dressing or sauce or whatever was. Its like I'm on an investigation and I have all this information that I need to find out. I order healthy (as a matter of course) but am not relaxed about eating.

Similarly at dinner time, I was obsessively weighing everything I was preparing. WH and I were sharing a meal tonight and it was quite a chore to record the ingredients and then portion them out and estimate portion sizes etc etc etc. At the end of it there are all these numbers on CalKing which I look at and wonder how accurate they are after all that effort. Hmmm tonight I'm a bit glass-half-empty about logging dietary intake. Hopefully the tide will turn tomorrow.

Training is going well. My weights are creeping up in my "Sexy Back" program but I'm still on baby weights after not training consistently last year. Tomorrow I get to add some running to my morning walk and then I have another date with the Allmighty Creator of Awesome Abs (also known as the BOSU). I still have abs DOMS from my last session from a couple of days ago so it'll be interesting to see how I go.

Cheers all and hope your weekend is great.

Magda

THE PLAN B DAY - OR GOING WITH THE FLOW

Well I made it through today after a few upsets to my planned schedule.

I had to go into work this morning to do an urgent and very important job. So I got up at 5, trained and did the usual getting ready for work routine (apart from putting on cargo pants, a T shirt and sneakers). I dropped BS at my parents' house and was well on the way when I realised I had left my notebook at home. It had all the notes for what I had to do today and I didnt trust myself to remember them all. Hmmm. Plan B!! Go into work, locate all the documents I need from our network, email them home and go back and do the work there and then email it all through to the person requiring it. OK so that worked just fine :-)

I had also promised to take BS and his friend to a play cafe today and luckily was still on track to get there reasonably early. So we get in, the boys race off to play and I settle in with my paper, phones etc expecting to have a decent 3 hour session there. Within 15 mins BS is running back to me screaming his head off as he got a blood nose (he is prone to them). Lordy there is blood everywhere and I settle him down, clean him up as best I can and we do the hold-the-tissues-to-the-nose-trick for as long as it takes. Within minutes of the bleeding ceasing on one side, the other side decides to gush blood as well and I'm fast running out of tissues.

I gather up the boys and we go home 45 mins after getting there. Plan B!! We are home and they have lunch and get stuck into the Wii. Later we go out for a gelati and they are happy. Luckily kids are easy to please and the day is not a total disaster. Come to think of it, I was happy to be home too as I could have my lovely chicken/chick pea salad without the threat of a playcafe employee coming down on me for consuming food that wasnt brought on the premises (this has happened before when I was day from competing).

So the motto of today's post is : when life throws a little curve ball you can totally fluff it by playing the shot exactly as you had planned or you can be a bit flexible, adapt to the new situation and give it your best shot to get it right. The choice is yours.

:-) Magda

DAILY HIGHLIGHTS / DAILY LOWLIGHTS

HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Playing several games of hopscotch with my BS (when was the last time you did that??!!)
2. Taking my BS to work with me (briefly) and introducing him to my colleagues.
3. Yay the launch of my BOSU training this morning.
4. Morning walk in the light drizzle.
5. Lunch out - warm chicken salad with a roasted capsicum pesto dressing (probably a bit higher in fat than ideal but VERY YUMMY)

LOWLIGHTS:

1. Discovering my serious lack of core strength. BOSU training = almost dead Magda LOL.
2. Work sneaking into my precious holiday time. It HAD to be done but would rather be 100% BS focussed.
3. House is a mess. On the other hand - a clean house is a sign of wasted time (or something like that - Kek help me out here!!)
4. I'm attempting to set a new record for what can be sitting in my ironing basket. (Note to self: One must wear one's "Domestic Goddess" hat eventually as the wardrobes are starting to look bare.)
5. Vege shopping is very much due. Yep its market time this weekend so I dont have to ration out the spinach leaves and see how far I can make a red capsicum go.

Cheers all

Magda

BACK TO THE USUAL

Well tonight I'm posting with my "Fitness Fun and Figure" hat on again although I will just mention that after witnessing yesterday's beautiful incident, I did approach today quite differently. I took BS to see Madagascar 2 and on the car ride there and back (longish drives both ways) I patiently answered all his questions and indulged in all of his little fantasies. Yes I gave him 100% of my attention and we had quite a few laughs (until he fell asleep LOL).

Training has been difficult on a couple of fronts. Firstly my annoying headcold still has me waking up feeling awful and I'm training through it coz I know if I leave it til later in the day, there's a ghood chance it wont get done. So today was my "Sexy Back" program followed by a brief rowing interval session. I was so grateful that I didnt have to push out a long cardio session as I didnt feel at all up to it. Training at home is great as I can do it exactly when it suits me and I dont have to allow for travel time, or make sure WH is around to look after BS or other considerations. However it can have its down side. Like today. I was interrupted for the following reasons:

1. WH asking if the belt he had on matched his shoes and his new suit. OK let me put my "fashion stylist" hat on and sort out the wardrobe disaster before he embarasses himself in public.
2. BS telling me he'd finished breakfast. OK time to be "mum" here and tell him to go and watch the rest of his favourite show quietly before he is allowed to fire up the Wii.
3. Pussy cat coming in for a rub while I'm pulling away at my seated rows. Could it be food time? I think so. Feed the cat and she'll leave you alone Magda.
4. BS back again to tell me his favourite show has now finished and "they just have the bits on that tell you how they made it" (I must teach him the word "credits".) "Mum" time again and I order him to go and play on his Wii.
Did I say its great to train at home LOL???

Food has been good although a bit light on the calories seeing its holiday time and there just naturally is one meal less. This will correct itself next week, I'm sure. While preparing my dinner tonight I found myself obsessively cutting cooked chicken breast several times to get that 100g just right. Lordy just slap me coz thats exactly the sort of behaviour I need to avoid.

And finally headspace is pretty darned good I reckon. I'm not letting my headcold get me down. I'm not letting the image of my too fat legs get me down. I'm not fretting about how many calories I'm eating, or not eating. I'm enjoying the time I have with my BS this week and I'm packing in activities that we can do together. Life IS pretty good right now I reckon.

Magda

PURE LOVE AND PATIENCE

Tonight's post has nothing to do with fitness, fun or figure but its something that made a huge impression on me today and I wanted to write about it.

I took BS to the pool today. While we were mucking around in the water a touching sight caught my eye. Two young men (teenagers - maybe one around 20) were making their way into the water. They were brothers judging by the similarity of their facial features. The younger man had a disability and was wary about entering the pool. He was ambulant but looking at the unusual shape of his spine and his gait it was obvious that he was not easily mobile. His brother was supporting him and slowly encouraging him to take the steps into the water.

The youger man was relying totally on his bigger brother both physically (he needed to hold onto him and be held in return) and from a trusting perspective too. It took some time for them to get into the water. After getting in they spent quite some time in the pool, a lot of it playing with a bright red ball that the younger man was enjoying playing catch with one of the lifeguards.

What I found so touching (and I confess that I watched them for some time) was the totally unselfish way the older man cared for his brother. He NEVER took his eyes off him. He was never more than a hand's reach away and he NEVER stopped smiling in all the time they were there. He was there for his brother 100% showing patience and love like I havent seen before. It was quite moving.

As we were leaving, the two young men who had left the pool area some time before us, were in the cafeteria area having something to eat and drink. The older brother was helping the younger one to have his drink, still smiling, still there 100%.

It made me think of all the times that as parents we brush our kids off, we get short with them, we raise our voices because of something thats bothering us and we give them way less than 100%. I'm ashamed to say that with me it happens too often and so I was really touched by what I saw today.... a young man who could happily give 100% of himself to his brother. That was pure love and patience in my book.

Cheers

Magda

WHEN THINGS ARE GOING AGAINST YOU

I've been battling a sore throat and annoying headache for a few days but I'm trying to stay positive and I've pretty much just soldiered on. I had accepted more fill-in classes for this morning and I knew if I pulled out at late notice, the classes wouldnt have gone ahead. So I was there to teach even in my considerably less than 100% state.

During the step class I knew my pulse had skyrocketed as I was fading fast in both energy and brain power (yep completely forgot my routine for a couple of seconds but kept going like the old pro that I am LOL). I had to adjust my effort for the 1 hour class that followed just to make sure I got through it. When I checked my HRM it showed I had burned 756 calories which is an all time record. (I think the HR spike in step accounted for a lot of that). Boy was I glad when the classes were over and I could just crash.

WH gave me a lovely treat in light of my "poorly state". He offered to take BS to the beach to give me some quiet time. How sweet!! So while they were out I looked at all the chores that needed doing and decided they could wait. I finished reading the paper while I ate my lunch. Luxury!! Then I caught up on blogs, tidied up my lunch mess and then lay on my bed reading The Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno. It was bliss. The boys came home after a couple of hours and then all was back to normal. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted.

Feeling positive and inspired this afternoon I asked WH to do some progress pics for me as I've now lost about 6kgs since starting with Liz in November and I was feeling so much better knowing that I had improved. And this is where the inspiration for my blog title came from. OMG my pics DO show improvement but my legs are so big, heavy and awful that I felt really down after seeing the pics. Despite this I sent the pics through to Liz and got some very positive and encouraging feedback. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I'm eating well, doing my training as prescribed by Liz and working on my positive headset so things can only improve.

Oh and on a final note ..... I'll be logging on CalKing again so my other challenge is to not get too anal or obsessive about it (yep I'm one of those "if I'm gonna do it then I'm gonna do it right people" and everything ends up on the scales, jotted down and then analysed). I'm sure I must have been a mad scientsit in a past life :-)

Cheers all

Magda

THE GOAL POST

I've been mulling over what I want to achieve in 2009. Some of my goals are very clear and specific, others arent so and they may well morph into something quite different as the year progresses. I will share them all, nevertheless.

On the drive home yesterday (4 hours in the car) I had another "Oh-I'll-enter-the-12-Week- Body-Blitz-Challenge (run by Womens Health and Fitness magazine)-moment". I was having visions of achieving an amazing transformation and taking out Monthly Winner and then maybe even Overall Winner- oh the fame - oh the fortune. LOL!! But after sleeping on it I decided that I didnt need a competition to drive me to achieve my weight loss because all the drive I needed was right within me. I didnt need to find it elsewhere.

My first goal is to to get my weight down to 60-62kgs and I want to achieve this in 12 weeks which will be very close to my wedding anniversary. This year I want to look smokin hot when WH and I go out to a top notch restaurant to celebrate. A week later I'm off for a girls only weekend to Sydney. My girlfriends are both quite slim and this year and I dont want to be the fat-girl-out. If I choose to shop on the holiday I want to look forward to it and not dread trying to find something that I'll like and that'll fit.

But it goes deeper than that. I long to be happy in my skin and generally happy with how I look. I want to enjoy good healthy food and the occassional treat and I want to feel good - happy, relaxed and not always fretting that I need to lose weight - over and over again.

Yep that goal leads into my next goal of maintenance. Here is where I'll really need Liz's help as the "M" word has always eluded me. I've lost weight heaps of times but have rarely kept it off for any extended period (maybe once or twice). Mastering Maintenance will be my biggest challenge I think but its worth working for as I want to be free of the constant diet mentality.

Then there's the "C" word. To compete or not to compete that is the question. I have a quietly burning desire to do it again and I'm prepared to work for it. But there are things brewing in the pipelines for us as a family which will effect my competing plans although nothing is set in stone yet. This goal may change during the year but right now one eye is set on that date in September (which I have to check in case its changed again).

For some time now I've been wanting to overhaul my wardrobe but have been loathe to spend the money on fat clothes. Its my goal to ditch everything that is unflattering, unsuitable, dated, cheap and ready for donating to charity and then slowly replace with quality items. I'm talking designer pieces and quality and I'm prepared to do it slowly and properly. I like to look good because it makes me feel good and clothes play a big part in that. Oh the fun of all that shopping mwahahaha

I'm not sure what work will bring. I'm due to finish in my current job in September when Miss R returns from maternity leave. I dont want to go back to my previous job (but I can and I may well have to). Premier Mikey (Mike Rann) handed down the doom and gloom half yearly budget just before Christmas and announced that several (about 1600) public service jobs will go and that means packages for those severing ties with the trusty and secure public service. I have moments of squealing "pick me pick me" and I feel all fired up about a new career and then I have moments of doubt and wonder if putting our nice lifestyle at risk is worth it. This one needs a lot more discussion and contemplation. Watch this space....

Finally if there was one thing that I wanted for 2009 it would be BALANCE. For me this means getting to my goal weight without starving, without weighing/measuring and logging every crumb, without giving up the treats I enjoy (wine, Diet Coke, bread, nuts, cake) but happily having them in moderation and by doing training that I enjoy and that gets me results. Balance is eating well 90% of the time and enjoying treats in moderation. Its going out to dinner and ordering what I feel like, not what I think I should have (and then not enjoying it). Its handling stress, boredom, frustration in non-food ways and not giving into the urge to eat til you'll explode. Its having the time and energy to devote to my family and knowing that I'm there with them 100%. Thats what balance means to me.

Magda

ONE YEAR ENDS AND ANOTHER BEGINS

In the Wet Cave - Naracoorte Caves

Umpherston Sinkhole in Mount Gambier (yeeouch looking very podgy around the middle)

So 2008 ended not with a bang but a sort of half-arsed fizzle. Not that I expected a "BANG" as such but I did envisage having a champagne and some pre-dinner nibbles, followed by a lovely bottle of Giesen and a fresh lobster purchased from Port Macdonnell that morning accompanied by some lovely evening chatter with WH, rounded off with a Ferrero Rocher chocolate and a final glass of bubbly at midnight. I pictured lots of laughing, sharing our highs and lows of the year gone and what we hoped to achieve in 2009 on a number of different levels.

What I got was WH feeling off-colour and therefore not in the mood to drink, eat much or talk. He ended up building Lego with BS. I read my Womens Health magazine. Then BS and I watched Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (which BS was calling Herbie Goes to Mount Gambier as we'd been to Mt Gambier earlier that day). Seeing midnight in was but a pipe dream. At least I woke up with no hang-over from food or drink and a decent night's sleep. HOW SAD :-( LOL

So apart from last night not being what we planned, the rest of the holiday was fantastic. We explored caves, played on some great playgrounds, visited some nice towns, bought freshly caught/cooked lobster and prawns, saw the Blue Lake and Umpherston Sinkhole in Mount Gambier and did a spot of wine-tasting. Staying in the Coonawarra district, with very cool weather made for ideal red wine drinking conditions. Our accommodation had a great a-la-carte restaurant which we took good advantage of. Yep more "holiday eating" but I didnt go as crazy as I have at other times.

I have caught up on blogs and am planning my "GOAL POST" for tomorrow when I'm fresher and have thought it through a little more.

Cheers all Magda

GETTING AWAY

In a couple of hours we are off for a mini holiday. Just WH, BS and me. It'll be nice to get away from home, chores, the Wii and domesticity.

Will be back to post again on Jan 1. Have a great New Years Eve everyone. WH and I are planning to indulge in a lobster, a bottle of Giessen and some serious D & Ms about life, love and 2009. Thats just about a perfect night in my book.

Cheers all

Magda

REFLECTING ON 2008

Earlier today I went back to my January posts to see just what I had intended to achieve during 2008.

I read stuff like "compete in September" - X
And "get my eating under control once and for all" - X
Oh and "be a more balanced person" - X

But then there was "share more stuff with WH" - tick
And "never compromise my family time" - tick
And finally "give our BS the support he would need in his first year of school" - tick

I said in my post last night that I had mixed emotions about 2008 and thats very true. It wasnt one of my better years on a very personal level. Home life is great and I couldnt ask for more. BS did fantastically in his first year in school and progressed in leaps and bounds so WH and I are both very happy. But for me 2008 was a year of taking some backward steps by letting self doubt and negative thinking get the better of me. Words like "struggle" or "no motivation" and "however will I handle ?????" were still a big part of my life when it came to training and nutrition and I want to end these negative thought patterns.

Yep I feel a bit sad that things didnt turn out as I had hoped but I refuse to dwell on it. Mistakes are a part of life and when you blog honestly you share those mistakes with potentially the world which can be a bit confronting or daunting at times. On the other hand mistakes and dealing with your subsequent emotions and consequences can often be the driving force to do better next time.

So with that thought in mind I can identify what will be important to me in 2009 and how I'll go about achieveing those things. Different plan. Different headset. Different actions. Different results. I'm almost ready to roll.

Cheers all

Magda

POST CHRISTMAS WRAP-UP

My family (minus WH who took the pic) on Christmas Day.
Front: SIL with Hamish the llasa apso/shitsu cross.
Middle: Father-in Law (FIL); MIL; BS; my mum.
Behind my mum: me, my dad and BIL. Thats it. Thats our extended family and we all get along really well and love spending Christmas together. Its perfect.







I love Christmas but am glad that its over cause I cant maintain the pace of it all.





Yesterday we were invited to big family / friends get-together at SIL's place from lunch-time onwards. Neither WH nor I felt like socialising a lot more but went along anyway and contributed a significant amount of left-over food. We cut our visit short and happily spent some nice time together at home just contemplating what 2009 will bring for us. WH made the bold statement that he thought "2009 will be a defining year for us" and I have to agree. More on this in an up-coming post as it deserves one all of its own.





This morning I was back into the training and it being holidays I was able to do one of my programs and follow it up with an hour's brisk walk. I felt a bit tight after a week off and found it hard to get a decent walk pace going in the beginning but once I found 4th gear all was good. Followed that up with a superb breakfast of oat/egg white/low fat cottage cheese pancake with 1/2 banana, SF maple syrup and a sprinkle of LSA and I was ready to slay dragons. I felt great once again.





Today was the last day that the ILs are here so it was another day at SIL's place but at least it was just our family so it was very casual and relaxed (think: no make-up / hair in a ponytail / shorts /thongs - gotta love it!!). We did our bit to finish off left-overs and I bagsed the turkey meat and ate mountains of salad with it whilst everyone else hoed into the full-fat cheeses, cracker biscuits, gorgonzola and spinach pie, sweets, chocolates, ice cream and more beer and wine. I wasnt even tempted to indulge as all I wanted was good clean food and was happy when my wishes were accommodated.





Life is pretty good right now. Both WH and I are on holidays and are spending time with our BS. We've had a great time with the extended family and cherish Christmas for this reason. The weather is beautiful which lifts my spirits even higher. I'm in a good headspace and am enjoying training again and eating well. I look back over 2008 with mixed emotions but I look forward to 2009 with hope, excitement and a positive can-do attitude. It will be a defining year because I will make it so.





:-) Magda

MY CHRISTMAS

Yippee!! Santa was kind enough to bring me a BOSU trainer which was number 1 on my Xmas list.

A family snap taken moments bfore we started opening pressies. BS looks like he's ready to bolt and get the show on the road.

Blogger is very slow to load pics tonight so I've stopped at 2. These are the best we have anyway.

So how was my Christmas??

I got sick :-( and had a very abnormal day.

After meeting my all important deadline on Tuesday, I was able to finish work at 4pm and relax. The family went out to one of our local pubs for dinner. I had a couple of wines (including one with a friend to celebrate her 40th) and all up it was a day of pretty crappy eating as I was still in survival mode to get my work finished and hadnt prepared any healthy food.

On Christamas Eve I did a last minute early dash to the shops for the last of the pressies and some food shopping as we were hosting Xmas Day. It was a hectic time once again but it had to be done. Then home to clean and start preparing stuff in advance for the big day. Around 2pm I started to feel "off" and by the evening I wasnt feeling good at all. We went to my mum and dad's for dinner and I manged to eat a small amount but after the meal we went outside and I crashed in the sunlounge looking and feeling awful. It was a warm night but I had to borrow a cardi from my mum as I was cold. Things were NOT looking good.

We left early and went home to wrap a mountain of presents. I still felt awful but it had to be done and WH couldnt do it all himself. Went to bed with nothing else prepared and didnt care. I just needed my bed. That night I slept really badly. BS had a nosebleed during the night and I couldnt deal with it. I think WH got up twice to tend to him. I woke up early feeling dreadful and couldnt face getting out of bed. My stomach was awful. I was feverish, achey and I was still SO tired.

But staying in bed was not an option so up I got and started shuffling through the rest of the stuff that needed to be done. Luckily I picked up around 9 am but couldnt face any food or any champagne. I just sipped water. So I had none of the lavish breakfast nor any of the lovely Xmas munchies we have to snack on throughout the day. When it came to lunch time around 2.30 I had a small amount of antipasto but avoided anything strong or big on flavour and for mains I had a very small amount of turkey, stuffing and a few veges. All up I managed 1 glass of champagne and 1 glass of rose and didnt feel like more. For dessert I had a small scoop of premium vanilla ice cream. I have never eaten or drank so little on Christmas Day.

The highlight of my day was going to bed by 7pm and sleeping like the dead until 5.40am today.

But on a happier note, here is the impressive list of pressies that Santa brought me. Gee I must have been a good girl this year:

1. BOSU balance trainer from WH

2. Very funky necklace from WH

3. Earrings to match my funky necklace from BS

4. Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno from B+SIL

5. Eat Clean Diet Cookbook by Tosca Reno from B+SIL

6. Hamish & Andy - Unessential Listening CD from B + SIL (SIL works for Austereo so she scored this as a freebie)

7. Gladiator style black sandals (for work) from my mum and dad

8. Black bag to match new sandals from my mum and dad

9. Pedicure set from my mum and dad

10. Cute summer PJs from ILs

11. Sex & the City DVD from ILs

12. Scanpan frying pan from ILs

13. Haircare products

14. Lipstick

15. Egg cookbook

and some whacky $2 pressies that we go silly on each year.

Arent I a lucky girl!!?? Oh and with items numbered 1, 2, 3 and 12 I now have everything I need to sculpt a red hot body. BRING IT ON!! (I say)

:-) Magda