Tuesday, February 26, 2008

BITTERSWEET DAY

I decided to weigh myself this morning.

RESULT: Depressed and miserable. I knew it wouldnt be good and I was right.

After suffering with all sorts of aches and tightness and pain and loss of mobility yesterday, I saw the chiro today for some overdue treatment and relief. Then I caught up with the Lovely Miss Kerry who was kind enough to pay me (undeserved) compliments when I'm feeling so down. If I let myself believe them, I actually feel good for a while. We talked all things training, dieting and competing which I always love.

The reality for me is that I have no direction this year. All my goals are on hold until I decide what I'll do on the job front. So much hinges on that and I'm suffering under the pressure of it all.

I had another meeting in relation to the job issue this afternoon and I left it feeling positive but the reality is that I swing from positive to negative over and over. Its just draining. WH and I talked very frankly about it again and I'm 90% decided but I just need to work out a few more things before I feel comfortable with my (our) decision.

I will post more on this soon.

Magda

5 comments:

Combat Girl said...

Why don't you just make weekly goals?

Mine is to do a run each week if possible and to better it each time. There are times I can't do the run so I just get on with the next workout.

STOP being so hard on yourself!

Shar said...

HEy Magda
I hope the decision becomes clear for your soon and you can stopped being so drained from it.
Great Idea from CG - I am approaching this prep a lot differently with regards to training, a weekly overview of what I need to do, with a discusion with hubby the night before about what will be done the next day, dependent on what my day holds work wise, kids wise etc. If I have a day with time spare I get the most done in that time etc.
Last prep I was regimented, planned each day for the whole week and got pissed and stressed if I missed and had to make up or something got move from the morning to the arvo!! not a good way to be.
Stay strong
Shar x

Raechelle said...

I hear ya! We swing back and forth all the time on selling this property-one week we are making a go of the business-next week we are burnt out and bored and ready to sell-sometimes it's allot harder when you actually have the choices and thre is nothing urgent pushing you one way or another. Sometimes I think we should just toss a bloody coin-LOL!

Lisa said...

Magda, why did you weigh yourself? You know you are going to compare it to comp weight, which is unrealistic. I bet you think you should be leaner off season that is practical. Don't get on the scales right now, you know it will screw with your mind. Stop doing destructive things and be nice to yourself. Accept that fact that you have work to do, and take it slowly.

You will make through.

Lisa

Magda said...

CG, that's what I'm doing for now. Small steps.

Shar, yep decision is made and I'm not stressing about it any more.

Raechelle, it took some time but the more I thought about it the clearer it became. It will for you too.

Lisa, yep I do have work to do. More than most people realise.

Magda