Wednesday, February 03, 2010


I wish I could write that February has gotten off to a roaringly fabulous start but alas that hasnt been the case. Monday wasnt a good day, Tuesday wasnt as bad and today I have refocussed, realigned and have my balance back. Its been tough but I think I've weathered the worst of the storm. Initially I wasnt going to blog any of this but now I'm ok with it and if my sharing my challenges and my way of overcoming them helps somebody else then its all for a good cause. So here goes:

Househunting is proving to be more stressful than I anticipated. After missing out on the auctioned property on Saturday we deliberated over another property and despite having reservations about it, we put in an offer. Well the couple of days leading up to that decision were stressful to say the least for a myriad of reasons that I wont go into. The stress didnt lift until we heard this morning that we missed out on it. It was almost a relief to have the decision about whether that was "the one" taken out of our hands. In the meantime I was facing all sorts of feelings that I wasnt dealing with - or rather I was - by eating them. So while I was in the depths of my despair battling bad old behaviours all sorts of negative thoughts were foremost in my mind. I was in a serious downward spiral.

I even picked up the phone to make a time to see my SP as I felt that this "hiccup" was serious enough to warrant a return visit. OMG I was shocked to be told that she's moved to Melbourne. I felt alone and desperate. Who could I turn to for the help that I felt I so desperately needed?

So that night I picked up "If Not Dieting Then What" by Rick Kausman and read the chapter on setbacks. What a gem that book is. I bought it just after my comps in 2007 when I was badly out of control with my eating. Things were so bad then that I couldnt connect or identify with anything in the book so I read a few pages and gave up. I'm in a totally different place now and I know the book will help me immensely.

Today I spent the time looking inwards and reflecting on what the problem was. I identified it and wrote down how I truly felt. Then I drafted a plan of managing it with simple actions that I could take. I reminded myself of my strengths and my successes and upon finishing that exercise I had some confidence that all would be OK.

Lessons learned from this experience:

1. Trust your gut feel / instincts. If it doesnt feel 100% right then it probably isnt.
2. Setbacks are not failures. They are proof that you're doing really well but have a challenge to face and overcome (like many times before)
3. To move forward you must be kind to yourself and keep it all in perspective.

I have 2 more things I'll share but not tonight. There are lessons in both and one is quite an eye-opener (well it was for me). I have a private journal that I'm writing in daily as I work through my stuff. You could say I'm being my own SP and confirming that all of the answers are inside me so why look any further.

Til next time. Cheers all



ss2306 said...

"all of the answers are inside me" - absolutely!!

Remember to breathe girl.

Witchazel said...

Although I don't comment a lot I do read your blog every time you write... you are doing so well!!!!! Hell we all have crap days/weeks but you are learning the whole time and thats really important.. can't really find the words to say how I fell about your journey.. ummm ok, if you were my sister I would be super proud of you!!! that sums it up!!

Magda said...

Thanks Shelley. I'm breathing now but earlier in the week I was suffocating and drowning in panic and fear. I've come through it tbough and am happy (once again) with me and where I'm at.

Hi Cathy, and thank you for that vote of confidence. The journey has certainly been bunmpy lately but you're right, there is a lot to learn along the way. Sailing more smoothly now that I've put it all back into perspective.

:-) Magda