Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Wow no blogging for a week and geez a lot has been going on, but then maybe its not that much really.

My last post had me pondering the universe and asking a lot of "why" questions. I've come to the realisation that all of those answers are within me and will always be within me. The real question is whether I'm prepared to dig deep and face up to the facts.

I've spent the last week ignoring the obvious and living a more "que sera sera existence". On the one hand an unintentional science experiment has proven that consuming foods higher in fat and/or sugar does actually keep you warmer on those chilly winter days. Especially when pasta is on the menu EVERY day. Remember "que sera sera". Sadly this attitude guarantees that my waist gets thicker and thighs are quick to follow. (The black fat pants are still loose but wont be for long if this experiment continues.)

Then because I never do things be halves - remember its often all or nothing - I've slipped comfortably into slothdom as well. How's this for a string of excuses?? Raining last Wednesday morning; cant remember why I didnt train on Thursday (need to up my intake of fish oil); worked late on Thursday night so slept longer on Friday; Saturday morning got stuck into cleaning as we were having friends over that night; Sunday woke up feeling chesty with the start of a cold; Monday etc etc. Phew what a run of doing nothing.

So today I pondered the week that was and admitted to myself:

1. I do know how to eat to maintain or lose weight without following a strict prescribed diet.
2. I do understand why sometimes I binge and I know how to manage and minimise those instances.
3. I love to train but I also love to be lazy (wow I'm actually like most other people).

and finally the piece de resistance ....

..... sometimes I just dont want to do the right thing(s).

Lack of motivation? Maybe.
Lack of dedication? Probably.
Lack of consistency? Absolutely.

Lack of accepting that this is who I am and I'm OK? Not on your life any more.

I think its time to reign it in tomorrow but geez it was fun (and tasty) while it lasted.

Cheers all



Anonymous said...


Pip said...

Hmm Magda!

Totally get you!

I've been pondering similar things myself as of recent. I know how to lose/maintain weight/fat and live according to a manner to my values without being too strict.

I know myself I've been feeling disappointed as I've yet again allowed myself to partake in circular behaviour across all areas of my life, - I so wanted to have all this cleared up by my 30th birthday and do a bikini photoshoot looking lean/fit with some muscle definition. A few months I was on track and feeling great...........but nada now.

Birthday party is now on 24 July and right now I'm feeling like an unfit fat blimp and have spent all my savings and the initial drudgery of going over the same thing get again is feeling like heaps of effort, - more choc, wine, cheese, gelato, wedges etc seems easier LOL, - now I've got to try to get fit with less money so facing up to reality is annoying!

However the annoyance and self loathing and miserable feelings with being 'off track' I've decided are worse than the initial 'getting back on track' annoyance!

So here's to reigning it in tomorrow for us both, - I'm not weighing in though because seeing the number I know/can feel I am will set me up for even more anger/frustration!
This time I just may break the circular cycle for good!

Cheers Pip :-)

LizN said...

Hi Magda, I would say your shift has been natural in origin. I think it's part of the cycle of the balance of life really. For example, my brother went on a road trip with a mate, went to a pub and won the meat tray. Naturally, being frugal fellows, they just ate meat. My bro came back craving vegetables and a good run (and even commented that it felt weird to him even feeling that way).

It makes sense.


Magda said...

Hey Pip, I'm hearing you loud and clear. Many times I have lived that same Groundhog Day and lamented over my behaviours and attitude. The difference for me now is how I view myself and the choices I make. I'm practicing self acceptance and not beating myself up any more. Its hard at times but I believe this will help me get where I ultimately want to be. However as we both know, the road we travel to get there is not without its twists and turns.

I see where you're coming from Liz but I could honestly eat pasta every day for the rest of my life and love it. For me it has to be a conscious choice to not eat it often as the consequence is one I'm not prepared to live with. I do miss my running though and as soon as this lurgy has left the building I'll be doing my 5am pounding of the pavements again.