WOW WHAT A GREAT CHRISTMAS ....

...... with so much good food, champagne, time spent with family and presents.

I must have been a very good girl this year because Santa was very generous. Amongst my pressies were the following favourites: a new digital camera (my old one was almost an antique), Skins tights, a sleeveless Skins top, a pedometer, an Oggi drink bottle, the new Paullina Simons book, earrings, a necklace and some of those cool iPod headphones that hook around your ears (I cant keep the bud styles in my ears).

If it wasnt so late I'd post up some piccies and write more about the day and do one of those 2009 wrap ups that every else is blogging about but its time to head off to bed and hope that I have time to blog again tomorrow.

Cheers all

M

REVEALING ALL

Life is strange.
Life is unpredictable.
Life is wonderful.
Life is magical.

Life will take you in one direction and then BANG a chain of events will change that direction forever. This is whats happened to us and we are excited and exhilirated (me) and stressed and nervous (Peter) all at the same time.

Without turning this into a War and Peace epic I will summarise briefly that we are no longer going down the path to a massive new home in the burbs but are looking to buy something small, functional and charming from around the turn of the century that is walking distance to the city.

We love where we are now and the amazing lifestyle that this allows us. We have awesome cafes, restaurants, shops and boutiques just walking distance away and we can walk to work. It doesnt get much better than this and this is where we want to live in a house that gives us what we need without a lot of what we dont.

Yes the road to get here has been very stressful but I believe that all good things have to be worked for, waited for and sweated for. It makes them that much more appreciated when they eventuate. So we're on the house-hunting merry-go-round and yes we have already missed out on one house that we both loved :-(

Christmas is fast approaching and there is so much to finalise in the next couple of days. Even the lead up to now has been really busy, hence the lack of blogging and reading other blogs. I have many blog posts to catch up on when time permits.

On a personal level I'm still doing really well and this has actually become the norm and is no longer the exception to be amazed over. Sure there are days when I eat a bit too much but they naturally balance out with days where I eat less. I'm keeping up with my running as best I can as I'm now on holidays and not getting up at 5am. Again its a case of going with the flow and not stressing out if a session is missed. My headspace is good and I'm looking forward to my first Christmas (other than if I've been sick) where I dont eat til I'm ready to burst and gain the usual 3 or so kilos from all of the overindulging.

I'm planning a new look blog for 2010 as I can feel that it'll be an awesome year with new ventures, new challenges and an even happier and more positive outlook on life. But til then there is family time to be enjoyed, good food to be shared, nice wine to savour, a road trip and a holiday on the magical Sunshine Coast with my family. I'm off to wrap presents and I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and healthy new year. Take a moment to give thanks for all you have, for all thats good in your life and for all you have worked hard to achieve. I know I will.

Cheers

Magda

I MUST REMAIN CRYPTIC

Thank you again to all the lovely ladies in blogland who left supportive and thoughtful comments when I felt way down in the dumps. I really appreciate your concern and caring.

Things picked up after a couple of days and we're over it now. I'm sorry I must remain cryptic as there are some "i"s to dot and some "t"s to cross and then I'll feel better about blogging just whats been going on. Not long now, I promise.

In actual fact I have quite a lot  I want to write about but time is scarce tonight and will be leading up to Christmas. I guess thats pretty typical for this time of year. But in a nutshell I have been feeling quite awesome and going through some amazing changes on a physical level and an emotional one too. I'm surprising myself even, you could say. When I made the statement that December was going to be great, I didnt even realise how great it could be, even despite the events of early last week.

So I'll leave it there for tonight and hope that I can squeeze in a nice lengthy blog and share my news, achievements and inner most thoughts (well some of them anyway LOL).

Cheers all

Magda

ME AND MY MISERY

I dont have time to post the details tonight but things have not worked out as planned and as we wanted.

I'm disappointed.

I'm angry.

I'm sad.

I'm mad.

I'm going to sign off there for now and post again when I'm in a better headspace.

Oh BTW Peter says tonight "I'm so depressed now I just want to eat." I totally understand this feeling but now I know and truly believe that its not the long term answer nor is it a short term fix. I didnt even crave wine tonight. Me and my misery are fine just as we are LOL.

Magda

CALLING ON THE POWER OF ATTRACTION

OMG things are hotting up and my excitement level is going through the roof. Stay tuned. I cant blog about it just yet but it wont be long. I have a good feeling though and my intuition is pretty good so here's hoping it doesnt let me down.

Weekend has been awesome. Getting some good news on Thursday certainly helped. Had a champagne with my work colleagues on Friday afternoon and that got the weekend off to a nice start. Peter is a different person since it looks like the shitty matter I blogged about previously is being resloved, a much nicer person and life is just better all round.

But there's always something to keep a small thorn in my side. This time its my right leg which is aching BADLY. I've self diagnosed that its from my running more often and for longer times and being slack with my stretching. Errr like not stretching AT ALL. So on Friday morning as I was trying to do my sprints my leg was aching like mad in the walk intervals. Of course I ignored it and pressed on but have been a bit more diligent about stretching. So much so that on Saturday I skipped my legs weights session and just did some stretching/mobility/prehab work instead and then followed it up with an hour of mixed cardio (bike/walking/bike). Then finished off with more stretching. Geez that felt good.

Today has been close to a "perfect day". Had a little sleep in. Did my upper body weights session and abs. My boys went to play golf so I had the place to myself for a while :-) After weights I had a blueberry pancake for breakfast and a quick shower. Then I walked very briskly for a little over an hour to meet my boys for a special purpose (sorry its all a part of what I cant blog about just yet). Fingers, toes, everything is crossed. We had lunch out and then walked to a nice park for our son to have a play. One more thing to do out and then came home, put the Chrissie tree up and before we knew it the day was just about over.

I have a good feeling about this week. I'm going to get my right leg sorted out and then it'll be perfect. I can feel it in my heart and if ever the power of attraction was going to work, this is the time.

:-) Magda

NOVEMBER REPORT

So November is history and we are powering forward to Christmas. Here is my November round up.

NUTRITION

Once again I had a pretty good month but I did succumb to 2 (or maybe 3) binging episodes. One could be explained by the fact that I had eaten too little for a few days. The second was in response to a stressful situation at work. These arent justifications for binging but cold hard fact that old thought patterns returned, dominated and old behaviours resulted. The critical thing about these is that I react differently now and dont waste energy and emotion on beating myself up, punishing myself with a strict diet or tons of exercise to compensate. I also remind myself that although I may have eaten badly, that doesnt make me a bad person. Very different thought patterns to those previously.

November saw me leaving behind more of my old "diet foods" and embracing more vegetarian meals which I am really enjoying. Tabbouli has been a regular food with added 3 or 4 bean mix which I love. My blueberry pancakes continue to be my favourite breakfast. They NEVER disappoint. I'm loving my daily skim cappuccinos and the fact that little treats are now a normal part of my life which I enjoy without guilt. Oh and having wine in moderation a few nights a week is just bliss. All these things make me a happy and relaxed person instead of always stressing about how I was going to avoid the foods and wine that I shouldnt be having.

TRAINING

November saw a new routine being established after finding my feet in a new home, new suburb and new circumstances. I'm running more and weight training less and surprisingly I'm loving it. Well maybe not so surprising, as running when you're 10 kilos lighter than you've been for a couple of years is not quite so bad. So after settling into a routine that I loved, its time to uproot it all and go with the flow as school holidays, my own holidays and life in general all turn things upside down. Lucky I'm not too much of a stresshead to let this get me down.

I'm looking forward to setting some training goals for next year to give me a challenge to work towards. Ideas are floating around in my head but need some research.

HEADSPACE

In the main my headspace has been good. But I wont lie about the difficulty of putting things into perspective after a binging episode. It would be so easy to revert to all my old reactions but I know they would just add fuel to the fire and I'd be in a downward spiral so fast that it'd be scary. So I train my brain to think differently, see things differently and hence react differently. Yep it takes some effort but the outcome is worth it. I can honestly say that I'm a more balanced, calm and happy person than I was 6 months ago.

But I'm human and I struggle with areas of my life that arent exactly as I'd like them. The problem is that I dont even know how I'd like them to be exactly. (Does that make sense??) Couple that with not being willing to risk things that are really important to me and I may just have to remind myself that this is a choice I make. Its a issue I grapple with every so often but I cant see a win win solution to it.

ME AND THE METAL MONSTER

In late November I hopped onto my trusty friend / enemy out of curiosity and was pleasantly surprised to see a loss of another 1.3kgs. I was sitting in the 62s and for my 171cm height and medium to large frame this is a nice weight and I look and feel good. I didnt do measurements but you know, who cares? There'll be a bit off here and there. In the scheme of life and whats important , thats not. I may weigh again for an "official end of November" weight and then I may not. Is that number important? Hell no!!

FINALLY

You may recall that some weeks ago I blogged about an exciting change of direction that was on the cards for us. This then turned into a shitty and stressful issue that plagued us for several weeks although I couldnt give details. Well yesterday we were finally able to resolve the issue and it'll be settled and finalised soon so stay tuned for a blog about this exciting venture.

I'm relishing December and the festive season already. I love it when our family is all together. I love the shops being busy as with people madly buying up presents. I love seeing Christmas trees, Christmas lights in people's gardens and Christmas decorations all around. I love getting lots of invites to Christmas celebrations and going along and enjoying them, guilt-free. I can feel that December will be a fantastic month and a great end to the year.

Cheers all

Magda

IDEALESS AND LACKING INSPIRATION

During the day I get all these brilliant ideas for blog posts. They start with catchy titles and then ideas of what to write. I get quite inspired.

Then I sit down to read blogs and post my own later in the evening and I'm dead tired, idealess and lacking inspiration.

I'm due to do a November report but will tackle it when I feel better and my thoughts are clearer. I think it'd just be a jumbled mess if I wrote it tonight.

So on that note I'll sign out for today. It has been a good day. My eating is as I want it to be. Training today was an upper body weights circuit done on my back lawn. Not a favourite workout but a workout that suited my circumstances. I walked from work to my son's school this afternoon but didnt walk in the morning. Went and had coffee out with Peter as he was off work today. I'm feeling good within myself despite carrying some tummy bloat after Monday's overeating. It'll correct itself soon so I'm not stressing about it. Its good to be over the hump this week and getting closer to the weekend.

Cheers all

M

FORGIVING, NURTURING AND HEALING

Today was a day of forgiving, nurturing and healing.

Forgiving because yesterday I abused my body with poor food choices in quantities that can only be described as "oh lordy, where did I put all that?" Yep I faced a stressful situation at work and let it overcome me and I resorted to my old habits and ways of thinking. I do know better now but the voice of reason was too quiet to be heard. Whats done is done and I've moved onwards and upwards without the obligatory self punishment that normally accompanied such episodes.

Nurturing because I'm wise enough to realise that self punishment is not the answer and is in fact detrimental and is likely to trigger more such behaviours. So today I nurtured myself with a jog/walk in the morning and had a good think about it all. I treated myself to breakfast out on the way to work. Yep I no longer try to make up for a binge by dieting strrictly the next day. I eat what I fancy and stop when I'm satisfied, making sure I enjoy every mouthful. Now thats my idea of nurturing and I've done it enough to know that my body will balance itself out in a few days.

Healing because after yesterday I felt fragile, doubtful and my self esteem had taken a bit of a knock. To heal I take the pressure off myself. I dont set my expectations sky high. I remind myself how far I've come, how much I've learnt and how by believing in myself I will succeed in slaying my Binge Monster once and for all.

Today has been a good day and I'm feeling like I'm well on the way to being on top of the world where I usually reside. Its a great view from up there and one I want to be enjoying many days of my life.

:-) M