MORE TURNING THE CORNER

Soon after my second session with the SP we left for our Singapore holiday. I must admit I wasnt in good spirits at all. I felt fat and pudgy and very disappointed that my previous efforts to lose weight for the holiday had failed. What was I thinking when I packed a pair of white shorts to wear over there?? Eeegads they looked awful further adding to my feelings of despair. Nevertheless I put on a brave face and pretended that I was having a ball.

OMG then I had to decide how to tackle the shopping. Here was my chance to seriously wear out my credit card but I couldnt think of anything worse than buying all these fat clothes. But the Great Singapore Sale had to be taken advantge of so I made a decision to "buy for the future". Whenever I saw something that I'd normally like and wanted to buy, I'd try it on and then buy the size smaller. In one shop I tried on a gorgeous dress and in a 12 it was a perfect fit. When I told the shop assistant I wanted the size 10 and got my card out to pay for it she was gobsmacked and teetered around asking if the dress was for me (obviously thinking I was insane or totally delusional). So I confidently replied that it was my Christmas present to myself and by Christmas I would NOT be the size I am now. It would fit. I'm sure she then thought I was definitely insane but WHO CARES. It will fit and it'll look fantastic.

So I shopped my little heart out and the opportunity wasnt wasted. In fact I got some fantastic stuff that just made my day and helped to lift my spirits.

The other thing that lifted my spirits was my decision to exercise and eat well during the holiday. Feeling so fat and awful at the start, I stepped on the scales in the gym on Day 1 and decided that I didnt want to see the number go higher. So I didnt stuff myself at the breakfast buffet nor at the dinner buffet. When we had beer-o'clock I had a couple of handfuls of nuts instead of about 10 handfuls. I rarely ate dessert but took a liking to a sweet called nonya way (spelling???) which was of a gluttinous rice texture with coconut and ????? A small piece after dinner was all I wanted and I was happy with that. And this time instead of just talking about exercising every day, I actually DID IT. Sometimes I just did a little prehab work in our room (thanks Liz) or I did weights in the gym, incline walks on the treadmill or a walk or walk/jog along the beachfront. The latter being my absolute favourite. It was about 30 minutes /day but it made the world of difference for how I felt each day and how I managed my diet.

For the first time ever in my life I came home weighing the same as when I went away (and in fact less if you discount the crappy airport food and wierd meal times on the trip home). I have never achieved this before as holidays have always been an eating free for all. A breakfast buffet would mean a big plate of toast, eggs, bacon, mushrooms, hash browns and whatever else looked good in big quantities. Then I'd have pastries. Yes you read that right pastriES (3 or 4 usually - again if it looked good, it'd have to be eaten). And this mindset would continue throughout the day for every day we were away. A 3-4kg gain used to be the norm for me.

So thats another installment in my renewed life. Small changes but huge impact. I came home so much happier than when I went away. I have a lot of work ahead of me to get to a good weight and a shape I'm happy with but the difference is that this time I have a quiet confidence that I'll do it and I'll do it happily without feeling like I'm stuck on Struggle Street, battling my demons every day.

:-) Magda