Wednesday, April 29, 2009

INSPIRED TO BLOG AGAIN

Today I read KatieP’s post and its inspired me to blog again.

When I decided to take a break from blogging, I was yet again in a difficult and negative place. I felt like I was repeating my failures over and over again and doing it “in public” made them even worse. I spent 3 late nights sitting up by myself and crying. Then I’d go to bed and cry some more before eventually falling asleep. There was a lot of hopelessness and frustration with myself that needed to be let out.

When some of the heaviness had lifted I reached for “Get the Life You Always Wanted” by Richard Bandler and started reading up on Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). I’d delved into this a little before and I was keen to know more. The book was ok (not as earth-shattering as I’d expected) but it did help me re-align my thoughts to a new and improved process. One that was desperately needed and long overdue. I’m not fully into it (the NLP) yet but I see great potential for it in the near future.

So on Good Friday 10 April I stripped my training back to the basics after some weeks of just haphazard bits and pieces. I refused to write up rigid programs where everything was prescribed and monitored to the nth degree. I set some loose training targets and just got on with it. Cardio is brisk or power walking or riding my exercise bike or using our rower. I’m never dreading it so its been consistent. When I do weights I go with the flow and aim to complete a certain number of (effective) sets for each body part. You see, I know how to train hard and I do it instinctively without having it all spelt out. I’m happy to say that I’ve managed some good consistency here too even when my ability to use my exercise room was limited by my MIL’s visit.

Food …… took a change for the better on Easter Monday. Until then I had crumbed seafood on Good Friday night and desert, hot X buns on Saturday, foccaccia and hot donuts on a day out with the family on Sunday and then Easter dinner at my parents’ house with more desert. I didn’t want to spend Easter pining for foods I loved. Since Easter Monday I’ve been eating pretty clean but nowhere near perfect and this is how I want it to be.

At one stage, out of sheer desperation I thought of going straight into a strict comp diet ….. anything to get my weight down FAST. But commonsense prevailed and I realised that my weight would come down without the need to be so strict. There would be time for that down the track. So I enjoy a daily skim cappuccino, sugar free lollies, wine on social occasions, desert if I really feel like it and the rest of my food is pretty much lean, clean and healthy. I even managed the “M” word (moderation) over BS’s birthday celebrations and ended up losing just over a kilo that week.

Finally my headspace has shifted into a more balanced and positive zone. I’ve had some different challenges this last week and they could easily have sent me straight to junk food for comfort but I didn’t crave it. A little while ago I went to wash my lunch dishes in the kitchen at work and was confronted by a platter of cakes: carrot cake, apricot slice, caramel slice, lemon coconut slice, all favourites. They looked delicious but I walked away easily knowing that I was in control and they would not be my downfall.

I love being in this balanced and in-control state but I’m not naïve to think that life will always be like this. Tough times will hit like they do for everybody at some time and in some form and I will slip up and make mistakes again. Its human nature and I’m no superior being. I’ll fall over and stuff up but I’m determined to handle those times differently in future, be kinder to myself and pick up and keep going.

So on that note I’ll wrap this up for today. If I still have your attention I say “thanks for listening” and I’ll be blogging regularly about my continued quest for fitness, fun and figure. More on that soon.

Cheers all

Magda

10 comments:

Alicia said...

Great to see you're making progress Magda :) Life's WAY too short to be worrying about being on a comp diet for the rest of your life. Its all about moderation xo

ss2306 said...

Sounds good to me Magda!

Keep working on it.

Tearose said...

Hey Magda, I think its great your blogging again, and are in a happy place. I think there are a lot of women feeling like this. I know recently with all the stress I have had I too have had some stuff ups and gone through the whole emotional bit, I had those late nights up crying as well :( Just wanting to be healthy happy and balanced, without the daily exhausting struggle. Its tough and your post is very encouraging :)

Frankie said...

Hey Magda. Nice to see you doing it "your way" :o).

Kerry W said...

Happy for you, you've been re-inspired!

Shar said...

Nice one Magda.
Can't wait to read again.

Shar x

KatieP said...

Lovely to have you back. As long as we keep fighting and never give up everything will work out in the end.
x

Kristy said...

It's nice to hear you are being kind to yourself Magda and you sound in a very similar place to myself.

KRISTIN said...

Good to hear you are back Magda... I think we all occassionally need that time to 're-focus' in private. So glad you are willing to share with us :)

LizN said...

good to see you back Magda :)