MONDAYITIS

Mondayitis has a strong hold on me today. Does anybody else feel like that? I've been chipping away at a big task today and have broken the back of it but now its time for the write up I find that I cant string a coherent sentence together. My seven year old could write it up better than me, I'm sure. Well at least its not long til I race off to pick him up from After School Care.

I hate feeling like this because although I'm not hungry my mind continually wanders to food as the ultimate distraction or excuse to take a break from my work. I've still managed to eat only when I'm hungry but am realising that boredom or just not being into the job at hand will have me toying with eating when I dont need to and in fact I dont really want to eat. Oh to be able to pack up my desk, pick up my son, head out for a coffee and a chat with him before going home and just getting stuck into domestic bliss. I dont want for much to be totally happy LOL.

As October draws to an end this coming weekend I marvel at how quickly it came and went and how significantly my life changed as my residence changed. I'm so proud that I held it all together and didnt let the many disappointments and challenges of finding a nice rental in a good area, get the better of me. There was no Binge Monster screaming at me to eat junk, eat lots of junk and no Lazy Lucy convincing me to blow off my training. They dont really feature in my life anymore and that makes for a much happier existence.

But I'm not so smug and complacent to think that they'll never be there. Lets just say I'm forever mindful of where I've come from and how much I dont want to go back there. Except this time I'll stay where I am and move to an even better and stronger place by loving myself as I am right now, accepting who I am, believing in myself and genuinely wanting to nurture myself with what I know I need instead of enforcing a rigid diet and training schedule and relying on willpower of steal to see me through. That recipe just doesnt work for me and I've finally realised it and accepted it.

Now to just get the melting pot of other issues sorted and know the direction we go from here. Whilst I know I can handle this, it would be nice to not have the uncertainty hanging over our heads.

Cheers all

Magda