MY ROLLERCOASTER RIDE

My goodness I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster since my last post.

I lost the plot somewhat last weekend (hanging head in shame). There was some relaxed eating followed by some relaxed drinking which then turned into an all out relaxed "I dont care if I dont lose weight right now" attitude. My I had some yummy food that just isnt on my eating plan right now so no wonder the Metal Monster was unkind on Monday morning.

But having confessed to all that I can proudly hold my head up high because I didnt resort to any binge eating, I didnt beat myself up over the poor choices I made and I actually stayed quite calm and balanced throughout the splurge. Previously I would slip into a major binge, then tell myself off in the worst negative way possible, put myself down because thats what I deserved and then wallow in misery and self pity all whilst dealing with emotions in total turmoil. I've come a long way and I will NEVER lose sight of that.

So on Monday I fought my feelings of "I just dont want to do this any more" and instead of thinking and analysing to the nth degree, I just did my training, ate my planned meals, skipped the treats and pushed my negative thoughts to the back of my mind. Chalked up a good day and my mood started to improve.

Tuesday came and my goal was to repeat Monday's effort but up the training to make up for missed training on the weekend. Despite a mini battle with my Inner Lazy Lucy who kept telling me that training twice a day was for obsessed nuts, I was on a mission to ensure that by the end of the week every one of my training sessions would be ticked off. Oh and I still wanted my Friday morning sleep in so that meant double training on 2 days. Yep Tuesday's goal achieved and I'm a mildly happy camper.

Welcome to Hump Day. Can the good behaviours be repeated? YES THEY CAN!! I have reorganised my entire training schedule and made it fit into the time I have. There is no scope for fluffing around and putting anything off. Just do it and do it well. There are more mini battles with Inner Lazy Lucy who's telling me that no normal person spends this much time preparing food and that it would be so much easier if I just had breakfast of a skim cappuccino and fruit toast on the way to work, a Bakers Delight scone with butter and another cappuccino for morning tea, a toasted foccaccia for lunch and dinner with my family (maybe lasagne or crumbed calamari). Yep these are all foods I love but they arent going to help me reach my goals so they have no place in my everyday meals right now. I'm on track with both training and nutrition and MM is heading DOWN :-)

So here I am on Thursday and I've survived a lunch out which was totally 100% on plan. "Yum Chicken" is a Thai chicken salad made with breast meat, veges and a very light spicy dressing. The fact that I was hungry 3 hours after it meant it was just right in size and composition. Oh and I love Jasmine tea so that was my drink of choice and not wine. I've double trained today and on Tuesday. Every training session is ticked off and I've done my personal goal of a "bonus cardio" session which is not required on my training plan. I will have my sleep in tomorrow and it will be guilt free :-)

So what got me back on track?

1. I realised that I really want to achieve my goal of being lean and toned for summer. It actually means more to me than the short term pleasure of eating what I want.

2. I read some fantastic material which helped me understand the struggle I'd just been through and gave me a great insight into winning this battle.

3. I drew on my inner strength and determination and decided I would not give in. I would do what I have to do and I would stop complaining (to myself) about the effort required.

4. The last one is a secret for now.

Wish me well as I journey from 69.7 downwards.

:-) Magda