RUNNING FOR MY LIFE

I HAVE MOVED

2010-09-03T16:09:00.000+09:30

Hi all,

well here I am in my new home: http://magda2107.blogspot.com/

I hope you come and visit me soon.

Cheers

NEW BLOG BREWING

2010-08-31T21:16:00.000+09:30

Hi all,

well with spring about to kick off tomorrow and some significant developments over the last week or so I have decided to launch my new blog. I did defect over to Wordpress but frankly I havent got the time to learn a new program and then set up something fancy shmancy. So for now I'm staying with trutsy old Blogger but am changing the focus of my writings.

I have a busy couple of evenings coming up but hope to start it in the next few days so as they say .... WATCH THIS SPACE.

Cheers all

Magda

REFLECTION AND INTROSPECTION

2010-08-24T21:02:00.000+09:30

Its been 10 days since I slipped into another battle with the BM (Binge Monster) and found the bastard scoring hits day after day. Going back to my horse riding analogy, I took a major fall and I fell hard this time. I was battered and bruised emotionally and picking myself up, dusting myself off and getting back on with a sense of resolve to try again was so much harder than I thought it'd be.

I cant remember a time when I felt so bad. I had phsysical pain from my SIJ. I was an emotional wreck trying to come to terms with another binging episode. I worried continually that I may not be able to run again and what that would mean for my fitness and my personal well being. I was angry with myself and sorry for myself at the same time. I was depressed and the tears flowed at the wierdest of times. My inner turmoil had ruled out any sense of balance and reason that I had worked so hard to create. I WAS IN A BAD PLACE.

But today I woke up with a sense of calm back over me and a feeling deep down that I'd be ok. I hadnt felt that up to now no matter how hard I faked it. Today I was hopeful and positive and I'm looking ahead with optimism again.

So why have I written about this tonight?

As I restart my journey to the life that I ultimately want, I never want to forget where I came from. Sometimes you have to hold some pain in your heart to keep you moving towards your goals. Sometimes its that pain which will drive you forward when you are at risk of slipping back.

The big news in Adelaide today was that Andrew McLeod was retiring from his AFL career.

McLeod, 34, yesterday closed his glorious AFL career with a club record 340 games - and the reality his battered right knee cannot carry him through an AFL game, not even for a farewell clash on Saturday against St Kilda at AAMI Stadium.

"I never thought it would, but the old knee got me at the end," said McLeod,..... The Advertiser today.

I dont know how many of the 340 games were played with a bad knee but I do know that its his spirit and his determination that I admire so much. Did he bow out, lie down and give up because he had a bad knee? No bloody way. He got it fixed and he played on. I may have a few years on him (LOL) but I too can do whatever it takes to keep me running and to slay that fucken BM once and forever.

Good night.

M

GLASS HALF EMPTY

2010-08-22T22:19:00.000+09:30

Sad to say that today has been a glass half empty day. Have stayed true to my resolve to ditch the sugary foods though and didnt seek comfort or answers through mindlessly stuffing junk down my throat. Thats one consolation.

Bring on a better day tomorrow.

INCHING ALONG THE RECOVERY ROAD

2010-08-21T21:47:00.000+09:30

...... and feeling ok. Not stressing about making perfect choices with diet. Just focussing on eating when hungry and not over-eating.Things will be ok and I know that in a few days I'll be eating better still. Its just a natural progression that when I eat well, I tend to want to eat well more and more.

Last night I checked out this site and found myself reading broadly about stuff that I suspected all along and that Liz and other bloggers have written about recently. I hopped onto eBay to see if I could get myself a copy without paying the full price (cheapskate that I am LOL). Well lucky me picked up the Quit Plan for a nice little price :-) (Yes Kek I'm a bit of a self help book junky - but view this one as educational rather than just "Oh you should live your life like XXX.") I cant wait to get it and read up some more on the nasty sugar issue.

However in the meantime I'm back on the sugar free wagon even turning down cheesecake and white gold mudcake (both favourites) that were offered at my God Son's birthday today. Honestly didnt really fancy them so saying no wasnt painful. I truly believe that if you take ownership of your decision to eat XX or not eat YY then why would there be pain with that decision and subsequent actions? (Comment taken from Liz's blog folks). I know that this has been the foundation of my diet over the last year and its one I'm really comfortable with. As long as I'm making the choices about what I eat and dont eat then I dont feel restricted, deprived or stressed over what I'm allowed or not allowed.

My SIJ is settling down now and the pain thru my glutes and legs is minimal. I had a massage today and I think Mr F (the legendary masseur) went a bit easier on me after I described what I've been thru in the last week. Nevertheless a few spots were excruciatingly painful so I certainly got my money's worth LOL.

So Day 2 done and dusted and I'm off for an early night very soon.

:-) M

FINAL WORDS ON THIS ISSUE

2010-08-20T13:31:00.000+09:30

Friday has finally come around and its time to let go of all the disappointment, depression and despair of the last week. My SIJ pain has eased a little and hopefully after a few days back on the anti inflams it'll be gone. In the meantime I'm consciously putting a smile back on my face and not wallowing in my self pity any longer.

Its been a really tough time though and I've had many moments where I've been enveloped in negative thoughts and emotions. Perhaps I should just have let it all out thru a big cry LOL. There have been so many times when I've wanted to talk about whats bothering me but I cant do it - not with people close to me anyway.

But like I said the pity party must come to an end. Its time to get off the ground, hop back onto the horse and give the riding another go with some more lessons under my belt and the determination to get it right.

M

VENTING SOME MORE AND THE MEDICINE THAT TASTES THE WORST IS THE BEST FOR US

2010-08-19T13:57:00.001+09:30

A big thank you to Kek, Kristy and Gillian who commented on my last post and who echoed some of my feelings on this matter.

If there is one thing I absolutely admire, its the more mature woman who does not accept that aging means "oh I must take it easy now." This, in my opinion, is utter and total crap. Its an easy cop out if you want to justify laziness and apathy. Sure there are times when your body will tell you to ease off (temporarily) and you should listen to it but giving up on exercise all together is just WRONG. I do concede that as we get older, the bits we use more wear out faster but that just means we need to be smarter about what we do and how we do it.

But back to the age thing..... Kek, I'll be right behind you ready to give that dumbass their second slap if indeed they try on those pathetic lines.

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

I know deep down that my current condition has been partly caused by my own actions. A lack of taking proper care of myself and my body sends me loud and clear messages that what I've done just wont cut it and now I'm paying for those mistakes. Whether you believe whats written here or here I know from personal experience that when I eat the junk foods described in those articles I usually end up suffering in a number of different ways. Its just taken me a while to make the connection and acknowledge the significance of it.

Gillian in answer to your question: I have a really good chiro who practices pain management and treatment and he is bloody good at it. He does not want to see you 3 times a week for the first 4 weeks, then down to twice a week for the next 6 weeks and then .... you get my drift. (Chiros that base their practice on those principles are a rip off, IMO.) If I have a problem I want it fixed and I dont want it to take 20 visits. Fortunately my chiro can do that.

So when I was in really bad pain in late June, I decided in my (lack of) wisdom that this wasnt a matter for my chiro and I saw a sports doctor instead. I was diagnosed with an inflamed sacro iliac (which was probabaly correct). I wasnt treated in any way other than to be given anti inflammatories and told to rest for 2 weeks. Needless to say, yesterday my chiro suggested to me that was a cop out diagnosis and asked what was done to fix the problem. Well nothing actually so he scored a point right there.

He then treated my back thru an adjustment (not the most pleasant sensation but I'm learning to work with him to make it all less painful) and he spent several minutes releasing over tight muscles in my hips, outer thighs and inner thighs. OMG I dropped the "F Bomb" a number of times and he reminded me that muscles should not feel like rocks (like mine did.).

It was one of the most painful treatments I've had but today the pain is easing slowly and I know that I'll be ok. So I've been reminded that when something has proven to work effectively before (my chioro's ability to fix my back pain) then I should trust him when pain rears its ugly head in future. The sports doctor cost me a small fortune and did virtually nothing to fix the problem (anti inflams and rest will always help but they are not a long term fix).

I still want to have a postural assessment and be given specific exercises to address my SIJ problem but his advice was get into yoga (or Pilates) and stretch, stretch, stretch. Oh and dont wait 8 months between chiro treatments if I have back (or related) pain.

These last few days have really made an impression on me and driven home some tough lessons that are like a bitter pill to swallow. But then we all know that its the medicine that tastes the worst thats the best for us.

:-) (almost) Magda

BEWARE! VENTING

2010-08-18T21:53:00.000+09:30

I'm sure there is no irony or coincidence attached to the fact that when one's diet is less than optimal and negative emotions are rife, the physical self will accordingly go into decline.

Once again I'm battling sharp pains thru my glutes and adductors and to a lesser degree my abductors, hamstrings and lower back. In a nutshell, my lower body feels fucked. The pain came on again on Sunday or Monday and by yesterday afternoon I could hardly sit for any length of time as the shooting and stabbing pains were relentless.

I had made an appopintment to see a physio but that was for Monday and I couldnt wait that long. In desperation I rang and got an appointment with my chiro today. A very interesting appointment followed but this is not about what he said and what I learned from him today.

This is about me feeling angry and depressed that my body lets me down and stuffs up my dreams and plans of running another HM. I hate feeling incapacitated, unable to do the things I love. I hate being in pain and wondering if I can indeed run the distances that I want to run. I'm angry that I'm in this predicament. I'm not that old and I just cant accept that my body wants to bail out on me. I'm depressed about it all and fed up.

Worse still is that none of my friends understand what this means to me. In their eyes, I'm wierd because I choose to be active. I'm the strange one that gets up at 5am when nobody could possibly do that. Sometimes I want to yell back at them "guys whats the alternative?? to never exercise, to be overweight or obese, to have no strength or fitness?" Wow that sounds like a great life.

This is not how I want to be and I will NOT accept that "oh I'm a bit older now so I cant expect to do ....". My chiro gave me some good advice today. It was simple. It reminded me of what I've always known and done but had recently neglected. And it reminded me that when you're on a good thing, stick to it. Dont go looking for better (or different) because you may just end up with worse.

So now that I've got all that off my chest I'll get on with what I know I must do. Things will get better. The pain will go away and if I manage things better I may even avoid it in future (fingers crossed). I want at least one more go at the Greenbelt Half but this body has to work with me and not against me.

Now breathe and go to bed.

Magda

THE HORSE RIDING ANALOGY

2010-08-18T10:05:00.001+09:30

When things go pair shaped as they have for me lately, it'd be so easy to just stay off blogger and maintain a false sense of everything going great. But I hardly ever do that as I find being honest and open about my difficulties does help me in the long run. It may also help others who experience similar challenges. Who knows??

I'm so lucky to have a friend who I can talk to about this because its certainly not something that I'd share with Peter or my other circle of friends. So my friend contacted me last night and we had a nice email chat which always prompts me to think about things in more depth or from a different perspective. I believe that the more I understand and become aware of my thoughts and subsequent actions, the better placed I'll be to manage those negative behaviours.

Today I see things a lot differently with less drama and emotion attached. I liken my journey to learning to ride a horse. Pre a year ago I knew very little about horse riding. I'd hop on and without any skills or experience I'd soon be falling off and then repeating the same mistakes over and over again. It was obvious that I need horse riding lessons.

So I found out about the lessons and enrolled myself and got some really good tuition. I started to practice horse riding again and slowly I got better at it. I was developing skills and getting experience under my belt plus my confidence was increasing. This was much better than just winging it without lessons.

But every now and then the horse throws me off and I lie on the ground feeling battered, bruised and deflated. Eventually I pick myself up, dust myself off and give it another go.

My conversation last night brought me to a point where I wondered if deep, deep down I still dont see myself as a horse rider. After 30+ years of not knowing how to ride a horse its hard to change my perception of myself. Maybe it comes down to a lack of belief in myself, in my ability to change???

I guess it comes back to a key message that Matii (my SP) gave me in our last session together: "Whether you believe you can or believe you cant, you're right." Perhaps its time to start believing that I can.

And finally I was at a management training session yesterday and the presenter shared this with the group: Instead of 'thinking' into a new way of 'behaving', try 'behaving' into a new way of 'thinking'.

More on this later. If you're still reading, thanks for listening.

:-) M

WHEN THE WHEELS FALL OFF ....

2010-08-17T12:39:00.000+09:30

...... and the train is derailed and heading for "Station Two Giant Steps Backwards", I'm left wondering why this happens to me over and over again.

Is the desire to change an intermitent process like turning a tap on and off? How can it be so strong one day and then like the flick of a switch, its turned off. Maybe not that instantly but like a game of dominos when one comes down, we all know that most will follow. We seem to be so easily drawn in to the easy option of throwing our hands in the air and declaring it all to be too hard.

A wise person once wrote (and no I'm not linking to them) : Dont let your minor slip-ups become the beginning of the end. Great advice!! So why dont we listen to it, follow it and know that we'll be ok again. Do we have to hit rock bottom before we can begin to bounce back up? It takes a mighty strong person to stop their own free fall and claw their way back up. I just dont feel that strong right now. There is emotion to deal with. Disappointment to handle and put into perspective. Some more soul searching and maybe a healthy dose of "harden the fuck up princess."

There may have been an evolution happening over the last year or so but at times like this I feel there is so much further to go and I wonder how I'll get myself there.

M

NO PERFECT TRAINING PLAN YET

2010-08-12T21:06:00.000+09:30

Time is flying by this week and its really wearing me out. I went to the theatre on Tuesday night and the very late night threw me all out of whack. I didnt run on Wednesday morning figuring that after 4 days of running each day, the rest would do me good anyway. I ran this morning and cracked the 50 minutes as I was up before my alarm. Apart from a minor knee incident near the end of my run, all was good.

I have yet to establish my perfect training plan due to our physical set up. I have ideas floating around in my head but until a number of things are finished around our house, I cant implement anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm treading water. So for now its running and prehabs until I look further into pilates for my dicky SIJ. The hunt is on for a good physio who can posturally assess and prescribe a pilates (or similar) plan to address my weaknesses.

So bedtime has come around and its time to sign off and gear down. Tomorrow is a no-alarm day for us which is such a luxury these days. If I'm lucky I'll sleep just past 6am LOL.

M

SUGAR FREE FOR SEVENTEEN

2010-08-11T21:07:00.000+09:30

Sitting through a less than exciting seminar today, it occurred to me that I'm now up to 17 days of being sugar free. Well maybe not totally 100% free because I do still enjoy a skim cappuccino on most days and use soy milk occassionally (both have small amounts of sugar in them) but thats about it for my (added) sugar consumption.

If I have oats for breakfast I soak a small amount of sultanas with the oats and bran and they provide just enough sweetness to not require extra. I've converted to non fat Greek yogurt which is delicious with thawed blueberries. I usually have a piece of fruit in the afternoon as well.

All of this makes a huge improvement on my previous habits and after reading some pretty scary stuff about what sugar does to the human system (its aging, it promotes fat storage, it can cause mood swings and a heap of other nasty feelings and reactions) I'm happy to reduce my consumption quite drastically.

But I stil have times where I want a sugary treat like today having survived (just!!) a really tough afternoon at work. But I knew it was a psychological thing of wanting a treat rather than a physical need to ingest sugar. The craving came and the craving went and I proved that not every craving has to result in that food being consumed and in what would likely be ridiculous quantities.

At this point I really want to make it to 21 days (that'll be Sunday) and then I'll reassess whether I choose to stay sugar free or not. I do admit that I'm liking how good I feel.

M

HAPPY 900TH

2010-08-10T13:35:00.002+09:30

This is my 900th post to this blog. I started it on 1 December 2006 on the eve of starting my comp prep for a September 2007 show. I’ve re-read my first post and with the benefit of hindsight I now realise how skewed and wrong my thinking was. There I was gearing up to compete in the hope that the diet and training would fix my yoyo dieting and emotional eating. All I wanted was to make it to the stage and be lean and toned and oh so proud of how I looked.

Who would have predicted the tumultuous journey that I went through to get there? But I was determined to see my goal through and in all of the ups and downs (and there were LOTS of downs) I always kept going no matter how tough it was. I have a couple of medals as evidence of my hard work and steely determination and my training room has a large framed print of me on comp day with my medals also included in the frame. No matter what happened after, I’m still incredibly proud of what I achieved and have no regrets about doing it.

So what did happen after? In a nutshell I had two years of trying to come to terms with the post comp weight gain, deciding I’d compete again, dieting again, losing control and over-eating again. This cycle was repeated ad infinitum. I tried everything to get my control back and get my weight to a happy place. But the pattern was set and I just couldn’t break out of it. I was in a downward spiral and didn’t know how to reset the direction I was travelling in. Man they were a tough couple of years.

So finally about a year ago I sought professional help and found a great Sports Psychologist who I clicked with and very quickly I was on the road to recovery. (Well there was a lot more to it than that but it really did happen easily once I understood the psychology behind my thoughts and actions). Soon after I made one of the most important and significant decisions of my life: I decided that I would never diet again.

From there on I began a journey of trusting my instincts to know what and how much to eat in order to maintain my weight and lose a little more. I also allowed myself to gravitate towards exercise I enjoy rather than slavishly following what I thought I should be doing. Hence the runner in me emerged and my passion for it grew and grew over the following months. I was determined to run a half marathon in under 2 hours 30 minutes and I achieved my goal in April of this year.

It hasn’t all been an easy ride or a bed of roses over the last year. Many times I’ve reached out for help from fellow bloggers but in the end I realise that all of my answers are within me. When I stray off course (and I certainly have on many occasions) I can refocus by asking myself who I want to be and how I want to live my life. The answers steer me back in the right direction.

I can honestly say that my life is in a happy place and I’m happy within my skin, calmer and more accepting of me and all my faults. I make mistakes and I forgive myself. I go with the flow and stress less. I trust myself to know what is right for me and what is best for me. I will not be told what and how much to eat by anybody any more no matter how much I respect them in their professional roles. When I need help and support with my running training, I turn to the professionals. If I have a goal, I pursue it with passion.

So who knows where my next 900 posts will take me? I have no big plans or goals for the second half of this year but am working on getting a few kilos off so that I feel better, look better and run better. Its not a painful or depressing process this time. I’d like to change the direction and focus of my blog as well but need a decent time commitment to make that happen. Who knows, maybe I’ll make that my goal for my 1000th post.

Cheers all

Magda

I AM RUNNER HEAR ME ROAR

2010-08-09T20:34:00.001+09:30

Its taken a while but I'm now back running (well jogging really) consistently. On Saturday I limited myself to 30 minutes which was perfect as I didnt have much time anyway. All good with the 30 minutes :-)

On Sunday I wanted to go for longer. I'd been to my friend's birthday celebration the night before and whilst I certainly didnt go overborad, I did indulge in some nibbles and a few well spaced out and sipped slowly wines. I knew that burning off a few of those calories would be welcomed.

I set out planning to run for 30 minutes and then walk fast for another 30. So off I went and felt particularly good. As it got close to 30 minutes I decided to push it out to 35 - I mean whats 5 extra minutes anyway. Once I convinced myself of that it didnt take long to aim for 40 minutes. All this was spurred on by that euphoric feeling you get when you hit your "running zone". I experienced it many times when training for the HM and even during the race and this is the first time I've experienced it since then. ITS SUCH A GREAT FEELING!!

So Sundays' run turned out to be 45 minutes and I just felt so good both physically and mentally. I added a 15 minute walk for the perfect finish. It was during that session that I was reminded just how much I love running. If I ever had lost my way and had doubts about who I was and what I was happy doing, Sunday morning made it all clear to me again. It even made me more determined to commit to my prehab exercises regularly just so that my body functioned well for running.

Yep I was out there again this morning managing 40 minutes and feeling really happy with that too.

I'm not planning any races or events til next year but I know that many a kilometere will be covered til then just because I want to do it for enjoyment - oh and burning a few calories never hurt either.

THE CORPORATE CUP WRAP UP

2010-08-05T10:06:00.000+09:30

Yesterday was a big test for me. I signed up for the Corporate Cup challenge in the spirit of team work with my colleagues and having run a HM recently it was sort of expected of me. Plus I was happy to step up to the plate and run with my colleague and friend Miss R.

We are registered for a 4.5km run which we do once a fortnight and you gain points for improving your time. It was an awful wet and cold day yesterday so the thought of running in it was oh so NOT appealing. Plus with my inflamed SIJ my training has really taken a backward progression. I admit, this made me nervous as well as running with somebody (I always train alone) who may be quite a bit faster than me.
OK so we managed the 4.5kms in a smidge under 32 minutes purposely taking a couple of short walk breaks so as not to do our best run first up. Remember its about improving over a course of 8 runs. What I found depressing though was my really high heart rate from what should have been a light and easy jog. Then to rub salt into the wound, my recovery time was in the vicinity of 20 minutes. Eegads this is very poor form and I commented to Miss R that I’m certainly not HM material now.

The funny thing is that all morning I kept telling myself that if I was going to run in the cold and the rain then I would reward myself with a toasted foccacia or some take away pasta for lunch. After all I deserved it and the salad I had with me just didn’t look appealing. Well after finishing the run and feeling very warm and toasty back in my office, the salad actually looked ok so I ate it with relish (that’s enjoyment not a food product) but then found myself in hungry, hungry hippo land for the rest of the day.

Scrounging for food, I devoured an extra serve of almonds and resisted the salt and vinegar chips from the charity box. Dinner was very welcome and devoured with gusto. Then as I was getting ready for bed last night I looked at my stomach and was absolutely convinced that I had put some of my weight back on. I just felt FAT.

Well how wrong I was as I weighed in ½ kilo lighter this morning. So the run must have torched some serious calories and the elevated heart rate probably added to it. Well worth it all in the end, me thinks.

And as for not being HM material now, I have one thing to say: The only way is up baby and that’s where I’m heading.

JULY - IN A NUTSHELL

2010-08-03T10:28:00.000+09:30

Wow its time for another monthly review and report. (It sounds a bit like an exam result LOL). I’m gonna put it out there honest with warts and all.

I started the month with my weight already having crept up a bit and knowing that there would be heaps of socialising and eating out to challenge me in keeping it under check. I set myself a mini goal of finishing the month at the weight I started it at.

I didn’t achieve this goal. My weight is up by a few kilos and its not just a bit of temporary bloat as I’ve already addressed that.

In July my approach to mindful eating pretty much went out the window and I indulged in what I call overly relaxed eating where its sort of whatever I feel like and if it tastes good then I tend to eat too much of it. I ate out HEAPS and subsequently drank lots of wine and had more than my fair share of sweet treats. So it was no wonder that the kilos crept on – or rather jumped on. At one stage I could almost hear my fat cells have the welcome party. LOL

Training wise I had a set back that added to my weight gain. I had a forced two weeks off from all lower body work to allow my inflamed SIJ to heal. So more food + less walking/running = fatter Magda. There are no surprises or rocket science in that.

My headspace has been good though. I may not have the eating down pat just yet (it’s a work in progress) but mentally I handle things much better and I’m proud that I’ve changed my thinking around in this regard. Yes I did over-eat but I didn’t beat myself up, or get depressed, or cry “victim” or feel ashamed about it. At the end of the day it was more like “well that was fantastically yummy and indulgent but now its time to rein it in and shed these kilos”.

So recently I’ve cranked up the mindful eating and am making choices that will support my goal of losing 3kgs in 4 weeks (this being week 2). I’m not following a “diet” as such but trust my instincts around the foods I choose to eat. Treats aren’t banished but kept very much in moderation. I’ve reacquainted myself with feeling hungry (before meals) and its not a bad feeling at all. Running is back in my training schedule but I’m easing into it so as not to fall into the trap of too much too soon.

I can smell success and I deserve it. Whilst I like myself no matter what and I wont let the extra kilos bring me down, I know that taking this action is the right thing to do. Its about long term health, happiness and living true to my values. Oh and I admit, I’m vain.

M

DAY 8 SUGAR FREE

2010-08-02T11:26:00.000+09:30

Today marks day 8 without sugar - bar the sprinkle of chocolate on my cappuccinos. Its been easier than I thought and I didn’t even set out to go totally sugar free. It sort of morphed into that just through consciously choosing to eat better. I must admit that I’m feeling pretty good.

The weekend was all good with no major slides off the rails. Wine and nibbles kept in moderation. Food all pretty good. Enjoyed a fabulous spaghetti marinara out locally on Saturday night. I say fabulous because it was loaded with good quality seafood and the ratio of seafood to spaghetti was excellent. Nothing worse than a marinara where it’s a plateful of pasta and a few bits of scrappy seafood stirred through. Oh and it was loaded with garlic so I should have excellent immunity against any potential colds or flus.

I have now introduced jogging back into my morning walks. On Saturday I did my trusty 1 song walk / 1 song jog routine which is a great way to build up my running fitness again. There are still some aches around my SIJ area and I’ve gone back onto the anti-inflams (not sure how long I was meant to take them for – any advice on this would be appreciated) to keep it in check. This morning I had no aches and I hope this becomes the norm. I’m running in the Corporate Cup for work so I don’t want to be battling SIJ pain.

So tracking like this I should be well on the way to my mini goal of 3 kgs off over 4 weeks, with week 1 down. Gotta love it when you start the week feeling so good and so positive :-)

ON THE DEFENCE - AGAIN

2010-07-30T22:41:00.000+09:30

I started the day with a foot to metal meeting with you know who. I was happy with my drop of 2.3kgs - most of which is bloat and fluid - but I figure "better gone than hanging on my body". What a nice start to my day :-)

If I've completed all my planned weekly training then I have Friday morning off and dont set an alarm. This in itself is a massive treat. Today I made up for this by walking home from work. It was a decent 45 minutes and I managed to keep a fairly good pace, despite catching "dont walk" signs at many intersections. Wine and nibbles tonight were kept in check but still enjoyed.

Tonight I found myself defending my decision and actions at home having felt like I was being accused of going overboard with my dieting......again. Geez, give me a break. Why criticize me for recognising that things had gotten too relaxed on both the diet and training fronts and I had gained weight. Surely taking action now before the weight gain got worse is a good thing??!!
I found myself stating the obvious in that if I was going overboard I would:

1. not be drinking any wine
2. not be eating any nibbles
3. be weighing and measuring every morsel of food I consumed
4. be recording all my food on CalKing and analysing it to the nth degree
5. be miserable and depressing to be around - (who knows maybe I am LOL)

At the end of the day I must remember that I cant control what others say and think but I can control how I react. Will handle it better next time - after I've given Peter a good slap across the head for being so irrational and critical LOL

M

TICKING THE IMPORTANT BOXES

2010-07-29T21:31:00.001+09:30

This morning I was woken early by the sound of rain. Immediately my mind went to thoughts of "oh I cant get out there to do my morning walk". I turned my alarm off and planned to go back to sleep. But once I'm awake, I'm awake and it took but a few minutes to decide that getting up and walking was a good idea. So I did and felt so much better for it. I was due to meet a couple of friends for breakfast before work and getting there would have been a 35 minute walk. Then breakfast was cancelled but yippee I had already walked and no exercise was missed today.

Food wise today was a bit of a go with the flow day and thats ok because life is not a 100% planned and predicatble adventure. I was holed up interviewing all day so set meal times just werent possible. I did my best and am happy with it.

No headaches today so maybe my body is adjusting to this wonderful cleanliness. Water with lemon and/or green tea (with vanilla) consumption has been great so basically I'm ticking the important boxes. Now to just do it day after day, after day and not let the destructive thought patterns and excuses start creeping in.

Next challenge is Friday night wine and nibbles including wine with dinner. This has been a bit of a downfall lately and its an area that needs better management and control. So I'll need to be really mindful of how I feel and the internal dialogue that takes place. Focus Magda, focus and you can find what works for you.

Cheers all

Magda

SUGAR WITHDRAWAL??

2010-07-28T20:49:00.000+09:30

After a spell where my sugar consumption crept into the too high category, my decision to remove it from my diet (not permanently but certainly to be an occassional treat) has had its consequences. Is it possible to have sugar withdrawal symptoms that are like like a mild detox?

I still have some coffee (that too has been cut back a bit though) so ist not caffeine withdrawal but I notice that I'm waking up with a mild headache or perhaps getting one at the end of the day. My dinners have been on the light side with the focus being on protein and mainly green veges and I'm enjopying this refreshing change but by the morning I feel my body saying "hey dude, where's the sugar??" Similar at night after a day of no refined sugar consumption and just one or two pieces of fruit and maybe a small serve of sultanas to sweeten my porridge. I found that soaking the sultanas with the oats and bran overnight adds enough sweetness so that no extra sugar or honey is required. Genius, arent I??!!

But all this is really mild and not causing any concern. I do find it interesting though.

This morning I ventured back onto the MM for a foot to metal meeting and was happy to see over 2kgs of bloat gone. Nice start but I know its just bloat from fluid and extra food consumed on Sunday. However what is left is extra fat sitting on my thighs and stomach most noticeably. Sadly the 2kg drop doesnt put me back in my happy place :-(

So I'm soldiering on with my plan and re-forming good habits that will bring success. A slimmer and trimmer body will soon be mine and I'm ready for it, thats for sure!

Cheers all

M

HERE'S TO DIFFERENT

2010-07-27T21:21:00.000+09:30

There are some great ideas and perspectives that I'd love to blog about but again I start blogging late in the day when I'm tired and those thoughts just dont gel any more. I'm a bit disappopinted as I'd like to write some better stuff than my late night ramblings about not much at all. Oh well maybe tomorrow I'll get an earlier start and produce something better.

It feels quite good to be focussing a little more on weight loss through improved diet and exercising consistently. I look towards the future with lots of positive feelings and a quiet belief that it wont be too long before I'm back in my happy place with how I look and feel. The key difference this time is that I refuse to become anal and obsessive about it. I know what needs to be done and yes its early days, but I'm just doing it with minimal fuss and fanfare.

I'm also toying with some habits and behaviours that I dont normally practice. I believe that different things work at different times and I'm not so set in my thoughts and ways that I wont do things differently to see if I can improve. So here's to different. Different habits. Different thoughts. Different beliefs. Different (and better) results. I look at it as experimentation and the quest to find what is ultimately right for me. I'll write more about this as I experiment further.

Again today my system thanked me, this time for drinking more water and some green tea (with vanilla). Things are working better already - although I'm sure there was a distinct protest that the sugar supply had been cut off. Well get used to it as the sugary foods have been banished to the "occassional treat" file and will not be daily event. Long live the lean and clean foods - my (re)new(ed) best friends. LOL

M

DRAWING THE LINE IN THE SAND AND THE 11TH COMMANDMENT: THOU SHALT NOT SELF DIAGNOSE

2010-07-26T21:21:00.000+09:30

My day started with a foot to metal meeting with my trusty old foe, the Metal Monster. The line had to be drawn in the sand and it was with no surprise on my behalf. I wasnt happy with the number but I'm determined that it will come down. Painful experience completed and time to move on.

All treats were finished off over the last few days. Mum sent home a slice of my delicious birthday cake and I had it while watching Dancing With the Stars. I didnt want to be indluging today and I couldnt bring myself to ditch it. Even though I wasnt hungry for it, I still enjoyed every single mouthful - and therein lies one of my challenges. I LOVE FOOD and often eat a lot more than I need because it just tastes so bloody good. Portion control is not one of natural talents.

Training today was a 40 minute fast walk with plans to introduce walk/jogs on the weekend and then some light jogging next week. I'm esaing back into it after time off for my SIJ and then a week of almost non-existent training last week. It was really cold this morning (as usual) and I love the cold, refreshing air on my face as I power along. Very invigorating!!

Food was great with eggy oats for breakfast (sultanas added for sweetness), one skim cappuccino (my small daily treat), pink salmon and a huge salad for lunch, a pear and a small handful of almonds for afternoon tea and then left over Greek marinated lamb with brussel sprouts (a favourite of mine) for dinner. I can hear my body rejoicing with "yay she's eating fruit and veges again and cutting out the crap." To which I respond "Well body, its time you were treated better. You deserve it.".

Finally I decided that a visit to my GP was in order as I was no longer convinced that my neck rash was psoriasis. And he confirmed that it isnt. Lucky me, I've picked up a fungal infection :-( No wonder all the dietary changes were making no difference. At least now I can relax and continue to enjoy dairy foods, white flour (although this wont be high on my consumption list), red meat and alcohol (another item being severly cut back). What a relief to be given cream to treat it and know that I shall soon be rid of it.

Cheers all

Magda

NOT DEFENDING - JUST EXPLAINING

2010-07-24T23:10:00.000+09:30

One of the things I love most about blogging is the myriad of experiences, perspectives, beliefs and skills that exist when it comes to weight loss / weight management.

There is and always be those that live the body building lifestyle. They eat clean and enjoy treats / cheats depending on where they are in the competition cycle - off season = some cheats and / or treats; on season = very few, if any cheats / treats. Diet is usually pretty structured to strict and is followed to the letter (or pretty close to). Plus full blown train-til-you're-knocking-on-death's-door weight training and varying levels and types of cardio. Its pretty hard core but those that do it, usually love it and live and breathe it. Whilst that lifestyle is not my choice now (I have done it once) I still admire and respect those that choose it.

At the other end of the spectrum are the intuitive eaters who have successfully tuned into their bodies needs both physically, emotionally and spiritually and follow their instincts / intuitions about what, how much and when to eat. They are not bound by meal times, prescribed diet plans and a list of shoulds / should nots. They choose exercise they enjoy and claim that this approach gives them a a sense of freedom, liberation, true enjoyment of and appreciation for life (and much more I'm sure).

I have sat at both ends of the spectrum although I dont believe that I truly mastered either one. The body building lifestyle didnt suit me and put a huge strain on my marriage and home life. At one stage I was so obsessed with my diet that I would weigh every morsel of food, write it down, enter it on CalKing, analyse it and stress over my macros like it was the most important thing in the world. I could not share a meal because I wouldnt know how much of each ingredient I was eating therefore I couldnt analyse it. If thats not insanity then I dont know what is.

About this time last year I made a commitment to never diet again and started my own journey to intuitive eating - or I prefer to call it "mindful eating". (There is a myriad of reasons why 100% intuitive eating just doesnt work from a practical perspective for me). I've had my ups and downs. I've learnt a lot and come a long way. And those who read my blog regularly will know that it hasnt all been smooth sailing and there have been many stormy seas to navigate. I'm proud to say that I did find balance and that my sould destroying binging did reduce. However I havent said a final farewell to it yet.

But the truth and reality is that lately the pendulum has swung too far into the relaxed eating side of the equation and I have the extra kilos weighing me down, making a lot of my clothes too tight and making me feel blaaah. I need to shift the pendulum back to a place where those kilos come off and stay off. I have never been a happy fat person and this itself has often motivated me to keep my weight at or below a certain level. This is not a bad thing.

So my plan is to eat mainy clean unprocessed foods, train for at least 30 minutes a day, 5 x / week and keep the treats well under control. Yes I will impose some personal rules about what I eat and how often as I've found that the lack of those rules has got me where I am now. I wont be following a strict diet. I wont be recording and analysing everything but I will be gearing my lifestyle up for weight loss.

I do agree 100% that we each need to find what works for us. There is no one size fits all solution. I've read some self help books that others raved about and that got brilliant reviews and they were totally lost on me. I came away thinking that I just didnt get it. Some other self help books have been brilliant eye openers and have made a difference to my life. As for what works for me - well I'm still discovering it and mastering it as I go. I just know that I'm not alone on this journey. If weight loss and maintenance was simple and easy, then squillions of people around the world wouldnt finding it so challenging to master. Hail to those that have discovered the secret, found their answers and are living the exact life they want.

:-) Magda

BIRTHDAY HOORAY

2010-07-23T21:59:00.000+09:30

I'm not sure what inspired me to do a 9 day celebration of my birthday this year but thats where I'm heading and at day 7 I'm seriously over it.

I started last Saturday with a lovely dinner out at The Rising Sun Inn which is conveniently a short walk from home. The other events of note were: lunch out on Tuesday, lunch out on Wednesday, birthday cake Wednesday night, left over birthday cake on Thursday night, birthday morning tea on Friday, lunch out on Friday and so it goes on. It'll finish on Sunday night (thank god!!).

Somebody needs to remind the Fatness Fairy that birthday calories DONT COUNT!!!! She is clearly of a differing opinion and has bestowed upon me an unwanted birthday gift of a few extra kilos. My lord, were my jeans tight today :-(

So on Monday I delve back into the "D" world. Stuff this bloody intuitive eating (or I call it mindful eating), I have kilos to lose and its time to put those oars back into the water and start rowing. I need structure. I need more discipline. I need a damned good consistent effort. And I need a different mind-set (which I'm working on).

This is not a sentence. This is not deprivation or being a slave to somebody else's rules. Its about sucking it up, putting in the effort and doing what it takes to get back to my physically happy place. Join me from Monday to follow my ?????? (I need a snazzy title and will try to come up with one whilst finishing off my celebrations).

Cheers all

M

PSORIASIS SAGA AND SILLY SACRO ILIAC

2010-07-16T22:58:00.000+09:30

PSORIASIS SAGA

Well here is my psoriasis in all its ugly and itchy glory. The picture doesnt do it justice as its often quite red, dry and scaly. Not to mention itchy.

For some weeks now I've made a half reasonable effort to get rid of it through diet alone. This has worked well for me in the past and I believe it will still work. The problem has been that I'll follow the psoriasis ridding principles for a few days and then I'll slacken off. So it starts to go but never finishes.

It was looking quite hopeful on Monday and Tuesday as it was very mild but then after dinner on Tuesday it turned red again and itched like mad. I had trouble getting to sleep. Sadly I had actaully been quite good with my diet and could only put the flare up down to one thing .... a little extra wine :-( :-(

The writing is on the wall and I'm reading it but action will have to wait til birthday celebrations are over. Sadly I think that in this situation it has to be all or nothing .... a 100% effort to finally shake it. I even found my trusty old cream and started using it, despite the use by date being well and truly in the past. A fresh tub is on the shopping list for next week though.

So yes I'm being a total spoilt brat, sooky lala and WILL NOT compromise my birthday celebrations which start tomorrow. The buckling down will have to wait til after that. Then its no white flour, no dairy, no red meat, severely reduced alcohol intake and increased intake of oily fish until my neck/throat is clear again. How hard could that be??

SILLY SACRO ILIAC

Whilst I havent nailed the elimination of my psoriasis, I have actually completed two weeks of no lower body training whatsoever. GO ME!!!

After completing the HM and taking no decent rest break I paid dearly by suffering an inflamed sacro iliac joint. OMG it was so painful to run and even walk. I saw a sports med doctor as I honestly didnt know what was wrong. All I knew was that something was very wrong. So after the diagnosis she prescribed a low dose anti inflamatory and two weeks of rest. Eegads no running :-(

The first week was a disaster as I had a week of inner turmoil which translates into outer over eating. I felt like I gained about 5 kilos in that week alone. Then I had a bit of an awakening (yep another one), a bit of re-alignment (oh yeah know how to do that) and set myself back onto the path I want to travel (better to keep on trying than to throw in the towel). I ventured back into my cluttered and messy training room and just ... trained ..... doing what I could with what I had in whatever space there was. All upper body work and then today some prehab work ala Liz to get the lower body back into order again. Every session was short, intense and hard and left me feeling so much better. Ah the power and wonders of training :-)

I'm ready now to ease back into the lower body work. I plan to do some walking then some walk / jogs and then introduce running about 1 - 1.5 weeks from now. Fingers crossed that the SIJ is all ok.

Finally I had to share this pic of my hard working family. Precious arent they??

STATUS UPDATE

2010-07-15T21:47:00.000+09:30

Tonight I thought I'd bore you all to death with a status update on a few bits and pieces. I'll start with a goal I set myself a few weeks ago.

ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER FREE BABY

I've been successful in ditching the ASs. I started by cutting out my daily love affair with sugar free lollies. My how I loved to munch away on them throughout the afternoons while chained to my computer at work. Yes I did miss them terribly at first, often reaching over for the packet which was no longer there. Sob. Sob. But I got past it all and then tackled the AS yogurt and changed over to snacking on almonds and a piece of fruit in the afternoon. Slowly my last bottle of sugar free maple syrup ran out and my breakfast oat/protein pancakes were sweetened up with apple sauce which was surprisingly better than I thought it would be. I felt really sad when I ate my last pancake with maple syrup on it. Apart from that there wasnt really any other AS in my diet. I have a bit of soy protein left and I notice that's artificially sweetened but I havent needed it so it sits on my desk at work. As for the Diet Coke, we are no longer having a casual affair and not a drop has passed my lips for longer than I can remember.

So what is the outcome of this? Its hard to judge because as this was taking shape, my diet ... shall we say ..... wasnt at the better end of the spectrum erhum erhum. Now that I've cleaned it back up and things are more settled with me I can honestly say that I feel no different. No better. No worse. Not noticing any changes in how my body works or feels.

Did I expect things to change? Well let me put it this way. With all the bad press that ASs get and how we are bombarded with how bad they are for us, I guess I expected to feel somewhat better when I cut them out. In comparison, if I have a few days of crappy eating where I really overdo the sugary, processed, fatty foods I feel worse and of course by cutting them out and going clean there is a noticeable improvement in how I feel. Well the AS changeover had no such effect. I never felt "bad" having them (except for one bout of too many SF lollies giving me a ripper of a stomach ache) and cutting them out didnt make me feel any better.

Lets just say, I'm not convinced that I'll stay AS free from here on. As long as my intake stays low then I'm not going to stress about it.

THE MEDITERRANEAN DIET

We had great intentions with this one but old habits die hard and making a noticeable switch to the principles of this eating plan didnt really come off. We were never going to do it 100% but fell way short of that anyway. Maybe down the track we'll be a bit more committed to giving it a better go but right now we're cruising along in our comfort zones with our normal diet. Peter is more committed to training regularly (not being sick 80% of the time helps) and is maintaining his weight well considering he gains every winter. And for me the challenges come from the emotional side of eating so when I get that right it all works pretty well for me.

THE PSORIASIS SAGA ....

... deserves its own post with a warning that I may include a picture and an honest update. Watch this space (I know you just cant wait for that one!!!).

M

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

2010-07-14T22:36:00.000+09:30

Being on holidays this week I get to indulge in the truly informative world of daytime TV. Does anybody else share my love/hate of this special domain? As I was eating my breakfast in front of channel 7's 9am show (is it called Today? I hardly ever watch it) I caught the most fascinating and at the same time most infuriarating feature story. It was about "Gainer Bloggers" (sorry I'm not linking to it or anything as I cant be bothered searching them out). Who/what are they you ask?

They're morbidly obese people who are actively trying to increase their weight and they're doing it in a public domain through blogs. They featured the "world's fattest mum" who's goal it is to get to 450kg. Yes you read right 450 KILOGRAMS. Apparently she has a blog where she posts her food intake, photos of her gorging herself, photos of her in bikinis and comments such as "fat is sexy". Some of her followers even send her food to help her cause.

I found myself staring in fascination at what makes these people tick.

Are they seeking out their 15 minutes of fame?
Are they so over dieting and trying to lose weight that they've decided to swing the opposite way and by going public and rallying a support base do they justify their actions?

I listened to the story of the mother aiming for 450kgs with pictures of herself in a bikini posted on her blog and all I could think of was her kids. OMG where do I start?

What message is she sending her kids about personal values?
What message is she sending her kids about living a healthy lifestyle?
How will other kids treat her kids if/when they find out what she does (and they WILL find out)?
If she dies at a young age (which is almost certain) what will happen to her kids? Does she ever stop to think about that?

Then I felt sad to think that her life revolved around this tragic goal (and it did because she physically could do little else) which is a thinly veiled death sentence.

So for those of us who sometimes struggle with emotional eating and would like to be about 5 to 10 kilos lighter I have one thing to say "baby we've got NOTHING to worry about".

THE END

PS Feel free to shoot me down or join me on my soap box but this really pressed my buttons and I've put it out there as I see it.

.... ONE GIANT STEP FOR MY COMMITMENT

2010-07-13T19:15:00.000+09:30

Isnt it interesting?? I make a commitment to permanent change to live a lifestyle based on leanness, fitness and vitality. So when I go to a cafe purely for a soy cappuccino (off dairy til my psoriasis goes - yeah I know I've been saying this for a while) the dessert cabinet is groaning with every imaginable cheesecake, banana caramel pie, flourless orange cake and I could go on and on. Everything looks superbly delicious. I'm hungry and could easily polish off any one of the delectable temptations calling my name. Last week I would have.

So today I looked at them and acknowledged how great they looked and no doubt how delicious they'd be (yes I have a sweet tooth like there's no tomorrow). And then I let those feelings and thoughts go, enjoyed my cappuccino and kept my appetite for dinner.

One small step for man one giant step for my commitment.

:-) Magda

HOW COOL IS BEING ON HOLIDAYS!!??

2010-07-12T19:46:00.000+09:30

Got up at 8. No training today as upper body is riddled with DOMS and lower body training is banned until SIJ settles down. Pottered around. Ate breakfast around 9.30 then the fun started: baking gingerbread biscuits, baking a banana and coconut cake, my boy decorated the biscuits making a special heart shaped biscuit just for me, watching a dvd, playing solitaire on the computer, playing our version of good guys vs bad guys, out for a coffee (me) and biscuit (my boy) and doing an outer space activity sheet from last week's paper and then home.

Geez I could get used to this ..... as long as my pay landed in my bank account each fortnight LOL.

Cheers

Magda

THE NEW MOON ECLIPSE

2010-07-11T22:58:00.000+09:30

True to my word I have spent the last 2 days taking small positive steps towards my ultimate goal. I've completed 2 upper body training sessions incorporating ???? sets (what do you call them when you combine 3 exercises instead of 2??) and taking only minimal rest between sets. My weights have been moderate to heavy and I've enjoyed that nice shattered feeling through my arms on completion. All up the sessions are short and intense and then I get on with my day. Lord knows what I'll do tomorrow as I'm trying to give my SIJ complete rest and am not sure if walking (like powerwalking) is off limits too.

On Saturday I scaled my food RIGHT BACK to balance out some excesses from the last few days. It actually felt really good to have my tummy rumbling again asking for food instead of that familiar feeling of being overfull. I went to bed feeling so much better for taking these positive actions. Shame that I had a really crappy nights sleep but will hit the sack soon.

The new moon eclipse in Cancer happens early tomorrow morning and its said to be time when significant change is likely. New moons usually promote change anyway but being an eclipsed new moon, its meant to be far more intense. Well my comment is "bring it on baby". I know that its entirely up to me to implement the changes I want to make but at the end of the day, I'm not going to say no to a little metaphysical help LOL.

Good night all.

Magda

MY COMMITMENT: PERMANENT CHANGE

2010-07-09T22:44:00.001+09:30

Today I finished work at 5pm feeling like a wrung out rag. It was a very busy and demanding day to wrap everything up so I can take a week off. The pressure, amongst other things has resulted in many poor food choices, not to mention the paltry amount of training that I've managed lately.

Tonight I asked myself: "Do I like how I look and feel?" The answer was an immediate and obvious "NO". Then do something about it.

Stop thinking. Stop analysing. Stop assessing and re-assessing. Stop talking about it. Stop writing about it and start DOING.

I’m on holiday from today and couple that with the new moon eclipse in the early morning of the 12th and the planets may (should) just align to promote permanent change. That is my goal. That is my commitment. Wish me luck.

Time to formulate my plan of attack for tomorrow. Good night all

Magda

TRAINING ANALYSIS AND NEW PROJECTS

2010-07-08T22:14:00.001+09:30

Oh my lord, Tuesday's upper body circuit has transported me to that familiar old planet of pain called DOMS. I'm coping with the sore pecs and the other muscle groups obviously werent pushed hard enough but my abs ARE KILLING ME. Plus its all made worse by the fact that I have a niggling cough left over from when I was sick and of course every cough = more DOMS pain. My how quickly we lose what we no longer train.

Which has got me thinking about my recent (like last 10 or so months) approach to training and where it has got me. I'm actually not happy with where I am.

When we moved house in September last year my weight training scaled right down and I started running more. I was quite happy doing this so I cranked up my running and scaled the weights back to nothing. I committed to do a half marathon so the running cranked up even more and there was no energy for any other training (I would take the stairs at work to go up one floor - thats how tired my legs were!!). So much for weight training to maintain my upper body muscle tone pffft no longer on the agenda.

So where did all this get me? Well I achieved my goal of running the half but post race enthusiasm overcame me and I rested for something like 3 days before I was running again. For this stroke of brilliance I was rewarded with an inflamed SIJ and a forced 2 weeks of no lower body training. Lo and behold let me discover how my upper body has gone to crap after the neglect it was subjected to.

Ok enough waffling and analysing the past (a favourite pastime I'm sure you'll agree). Where to from here?

Sort out the words (in my head) and then take action.

Oooh I'm even a little excited about it all. I love a new project and a challenge.

Cheers all

Magda

DISCIPLINE AND CONSISTENCY

2010-07-06T20:43:00.000+09:30

Inspired by Liz's blog last night I made a positive decision to set my alarm and do some training this morning. It would have been so easy to slip into total slothdom (great word hey??!!) but I knew that I'd then face the very difficult task of getting back into the routine of early wake-ups when it was freezing outside and my bed was so toasty. Once the habit is in place its relatively easy to keep it going. But break the habit and then try going back to it ... well that can be quite hard.

So I checked out my training room and decided that there was enough room for a workout and set up some of the weights ready to go this morning. I chose to do an upper body circuit with light-moderate weights as its been ages since I threw any iron around and just about all of my upper body conditioning has well and truly gone. It felt good and tonight I even have some DOMS as proof that I worked hard (again thats a relative term considering where I'm coming from). I followed up with some ab and core strengthening work and continued the day with a spring in my step.

Bugger the leadership seminar I attended first up. We werent told that breakfast was going to be provided and oh boy it looked so good. Sadly my discipline and consistency didnt win out over the breakfast buffet of mini ham and cheese croissants and scones with strawberry jam and cream. My they tasted so good but in all honesty I didnt need them and they did turn into a day of not so stellar eating. At least I didnt feel the cold as much with the increased fat consumption LOL.

But back to Liz's wise words about discipline and consistency which really struck a chord and "spoke to me". They sparked a small positive change today and tomorrow is another opportunity to build on that.

M

JUNE ROUND-UP

2010-07-05T15:14:00.000+09:30

Hmmmm today I face up to some not so pleasant truths - depending on how you look at things. In the spirit of my monthly round-ups here is my June round-up and the news is not so good. But in the interests of honesty and openness I'm putting it out there in case others can relate, take something valuable away from it or just take comfort that they're not alone.

So let me start by admitting that in the last few weeks my eating has been a lot more relaxed. The bottom line is that a lot of non-hungry eating was happening regularly. Not necessrily binging which has decreased considerably but just eating a lot more than I know I should. Add to that an increased wine consumption plus too many sweet treats and voila the Metal Monster is once again registering a number that exceeds the highest number I ever want to be (and would prefer to be a good 5kgs under!!).

I'm not surprised. I could actually feel it without having the foot to metal meeting this morning but I faced up to the number regardless. So feelings / reactions??

Feelings: Not surprised. A bit disappointed that I went overboard and now have some work ahead of me to reign it back in / down. On the other hand - geez I had some yummy stuff :-) But here's the biggie: I'M NOT ALL EMOTIONAL AND FATALISTIC ABOUT IT. Its simple really: over-eat often = weight gain (a very simple equation). Accept it and make a choice about what you do in future.

Reactions: Calm and rational. What am I prepared to do about it? What am I NOT prepared to do about it? For me this is also a no-brainer.

July is my birthday month so there will be no big X week challenge with strict dieting and gruelling twice a day training in order to torch kilos at the speed of sound. Plus I'm sidelined from running and lower body cardio and swimming just isnt going to happen. This ban on cardio will not help my cause. There will be eating out and wine to be enjoyed. So its down to the food and making smart healthy choices whenever I can and saving the real treats for the special birthday meals (of which there will be at least 4 - we dont celebrate by halves!!). Maybe less sweet treats (oh my poor sweet tooth) and keeping portions moderate (easier said than done when eating out and the food tastes SO good.).

My goal is to finish July weighing no more than what I weighed this morning. Then we'll see what August brings.

Cheers all

M

SIDELINED

2010-07-01T15:43:00.000+09:30

For several weeks I've ignored the pain through my glutes, upper hamstrings, lower back and that general vicinity when I run, walk or get up to walk after sitting for a period. Every morning my walk or run would start with pain at about a level 6 or 7 through that area and I would literally hobble like an old person until relief came after a few minutes. Sometimes I think the relief may not have actually come but I accepted that was how my body operated and pushed on through the pain. After all, its just a bit of pain and as athletes we all know that pain is something we have to deal with. (OK I dont actually consider myself to be an athlete but I have pursued some athletic activities and therefore I can call myself a "casual athlete".)

This morning I set out to run for my usual 40 - 45 minutes and once again the pain was with me and quite strong. I pushed on for about 10 or so minutes expecting relief at any time but it wasnt coming. Then I decided that I would drop back to a walk which although still painful was quite manageable. It was then I decided to finally get this checked out and not leave it any longer as it quite clearly wasnt going to go away of its own accord.

I've seen a sports doctor who is also a runner and was surprised that she didnt find anything more obviously wrong. I know that what I'm feeling is not normal. She has suggested that my sacro iliac joint is inflamed after running the Greenbelt Half Marathon and not taking a decent rest period for a good recovery. So I have anti-inflamatories and an order for lower body rest for 2 weeks.

I have mixed feelings about this. I will do as I'm told because I really want all this pain to go so I can once again enjoy running but a part of me will feel very guilty when I'm not getting up early to do my daily cardio. I'll get out of the routine and habit and I hope that I can pick it up and go back to it easily. Aaaargh the stress of the change in routine!!!!

Maybe this is the shove I need to tidy up my training room and push some iron around again (upper body only). Hmm this is NOT how I wanted my renewed approach to health and fitness to kick off.

M

MID YEAR REFLECTION

2010-06-30T20:29:00.000+09:30

Seeing its the 30th of June today I couldnt resist reflecting back over how things have gone for me. So I did a cut and paste of what I wrote back in January (italics print) and my June review follows it in red. Here goes.

LOOKING FORWARD: 2010

For the first time in my life as far as I can remember, I'm not starting the year with a resolution to lose weight and to be X kilos by Y (date). Its not about body fat %s or the number on the scales for me any more. So here are some beliefs, values and habits that I want to develop further. These are my versions of "resolutions" written to suit me.

1. I will continue to develop my belief in myself. I will have faith that I hold the answers to how to eat for the lean and toned body that I desire.

In all honesty there have been times when I've lost sight of this. Just recently I've gone looking for answers in the wrong place only to wake up to myself fairly quickly and realise the error of my ways. One thing I've realised lately is that developing that self belief takes effort and must be practiced frequently. it aint just gonna appear out of the blue.

2. I will run, run and run some more. When my legs are tired from running, I'll lift some heavy weights to keep my upper body toned. Oh and I'll devote some time to improving my core strength.

One out of three on this one. Running gets the big tick. Upper body training has been neglected due to my training room doubling as a study, storage space, junk room, and "if I dont know where to put it, I'll put it in the training room". Plans are brewing for a training studio but this is still a few months away. Core strength sits in the same basket.

3. I will strive to be more patient and less grumpy. My son deserves this. So does my husband.

Hmmm I reckon I've improved in this area and will continue to work at it.

4. I will continue to place the highest importance on my family, their wellbeing, our wellbeing, harmony, support, nurturing and caring for. Doing this makes me truly happy.

Tick.

5. I will continue to nurture my friendships. My circle of friends is small and precious and I'd be lost without them.

Tick but room for improvement.

So there it is. The things that are important to me as I face this new decade. The end of 2009 saw big changes in my life and now its time to embrace them and take them further to make 2010 and the new decade the best one yet.

Its been enlightening to reflect back over the last 6 months. I've patted myself on the back for many of my victories and achievements - both physical and mental. On the other hand I've realised there are areas that need more work in the second half of the year and thats ok. I havent failed in those areas. I've just neglected them or accidentally gone off on a tangent for a while. At least by taking stock as I have, its helping me to refocus on whats important.

So at the risk of sounding all shmartzy and corny, I will rejuvenate, renew and reinvent for a bigger and better 2nd half of 2010. I'll be here blogging until I get my new look blog sorted out but its a little way off right now.

How are you tracking against your goals for 2010?

Cheers

Magda

SEE YOU ALL ON MY RETURN

2010-06-20T20:30:00.000+09:30

My lurgy is still hanging around in the form of some pretty awful coughing. Its the dry raspy stuff that annoys the crap out of me cause it doesnt feel like it helps at all. Give me a good meaty chesty cough anyday. I have cough mixture but its proving to be pretty useless so last night I had a crap nights sleep and then vacated the bedroom early so as to not disturb Peter with my coughing in the hope that at least one of us would be reasonably well rested.

Therefore I started the day in the foulest mood having missed a sleep in opportunity when I felt so tired. So what would cheer me up and lift my spirits??

Lets start with a one hour walk. (Will ease back into running soon - but I'm not pushing it just yet.)

Lets follow it up with a long and very hot shower and then back into my PJs until it was time to go out to lunch. In fact we all lounged in our PJs until we went out and it was such a lovely relaxing morning - even though I was ironing and making sandwiches.

A phone call to our boy from his best friend who recently moved to the country. Six months after the move, my boy still misses his friend and the phone chat today was a very welcome surprise. I love seeing my boy so happy.

Then it was lunch out at The Bath Hotel. When we werent eating we were doing a family exercise for a school project - name 5 things you'd take to a tropical island to survive and say why you'd take each one. It was a lot of fun.

Then a walk on The Parade followed by coffee and dessert at a cafe and then home to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (again!) while snuggling up on the sofa. Hmmm nap time for me :-)

I'll be off line from tomorrow working on some other things. One of those is getting rid of my psoriasis which has again flared up in the last couple of weeks. Its quite simple really as for me its very much diet related. If I overindulge in some foods, it rears its itchy head to remind me to clean it up and reign it in so that is exactly what I'll be doing. I hope to get some spin off benefits from this as well.

So thats me over and out taking a mini break from blogging. See you all on my return.

:-) Magda

BEING GRATEFUL AND GOALS

2010-06-19T21:49:00.000+09:30

With quite a bit of time to myself today I found myself reflecting over the events of the last 12 or so months. I'm constantly amazed at how fortunate I am and what a great life I have (thats not gloating but just being really grateful).

A year ago I was still expecting my current job to wind up and I'd be left with 2 choices: go back to my previous government job (not a bad job but one I had definitely moved on from) or start looking for something else in government (and deal with the application writing, interviews etc). To be made permanent and not have to face either of these options is like a mini lottery win. Its THAT good.

A year ago we had just made the decision to sell our house in NG and build a new home that would be EXACTLY what we wanted. The wierdest chain of events took us through some rough and stressful patches but we enjoyed a gorgeous rental in a very cosmopolitan area. During that time we realised that our family of 3 didnt need a 4 bedroom house with 3 living areas etc etc and we decided to follow a dream we'd always had. So after some more rough patches and stressful times we bought the house we live in now in an even better area that we both love.

I have trained for and run a half marathon in under 2:30 and although I've had some ups and downs and still battled the BM on occassions, overall I've ditched the strict dieting and managed to lose some more weight and then generally maintain to within a few kilos.

I have two goals that I'm aiming for over the coming month in the lead up to my birthday. One will see me pursuing a dream that has been dormant for a VERY long time. But I think about it so often now that deep down I know its time to dust it off and give it a go. The second will see me fine tuning an area that I'm not totally happy with. My aspirations arent huge or unrealistic but nevertheless will require a damned good effort to achieve. I'll be doing both off line but hope to share my adventure with all when I return.

Celebration Day tomorrow. Oooooh I'm so hanging out for a nice bubbly :-)

M

THE BEST NEWS

2010-06-18T22:15:00.000+09:30

Today is a great day.

I went back to work still feeling like crap but knowing there was some stuff that I just had to get done. I did it and went home early. Then later in the day I had the most welcome email.

Almost 2 years ago I took up a temporary position in another government department. It was a promotion but being temporary, I always faced the prospect of going back to my previous position (and lower level of pay).

Today I was made permanent in this promotional position :-)

I am so fortunate on so many levels. My employer promotes and supports work / life balance arrangements. And I dont mean just talking the talk. They walk the talk and I take advantage of this. I have a great director as line manager and my new director as of 1 July is different but just as good. I manage a small team and we all work really well together - we're all Cancerians so I call us the "caring and sharing corner" LOL. No kidding we are really well tuned into each other's feelings.

I have a special colleague to thank for helping me achieve this. I worked with Miss R many years ago at my previous employment. She moved on and achieved great things but we stayed in touch as distant friends. Its her job that I'm in and I know she would have put in a good word for me when her job came up due to her maternity leave. She is still working with us and I will extend a VERY special thank you to her.

So tonight I have enjoyed a small bottle of champagne and shared a nice bottle of red with Peter. There is more celebrating in store for Sunday when I have lunch out with Peter and our boy. Peter says this is well deserved and I'll indulge accordingly (but not to excess).

Then I plan to take a short break from blogging while I attempt a small project which is currently under wraps. My return should see a slightly different focus to my blog.

Cheers all

Magda

LIKE SANDS THRU THE HOURGLASS SO ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES AND MAKING FRIENDS WITH DR PHIL

2010-06-17T19:20:00.000+09:30

LOL!!!

So I've been home for 2 days fighting off a bout of the winter lurgies. No I havent resorted to watching DOOL but have enjoyed a very long lie in bed on both mornings. I've also taken the time to review some of the work I did with my SP except this time I resorted to a different source of information and strategy.

Many years ago I bought Dr Phil's "The Ultimate Weight Solution" and thought it was pretty good. However it never really gelled for me as I had too many unanswered questions about me and the workings of my mind. But since then I've had the benefit of 1:1 work with a professional which really helped me to understand me. So last night when I picked up Dr Phil (not literally LOL) and kept reading today, his advice really fell into place.

So why do I constantly need to go back over this stuff?

Because every so often I lapse back into old habits and old self defeating thought patterns. Sometimes I can very quickly see it for what it is but sometimes its not obvious (and maybe I dont want to see it) and I slip into that old downward spiral. And we all know that once you're in that spiral, its damned hard to stop and start moving the opposite way. Sometimes you just need that "something" to give you that aha moment to cause the mindset to change.

Now how many of you scoffed when you read "Dr Phil"? I'm not advocating that you become a follower of his TV show or other aspects of his work (I havent read any of his other books so I cant commemt here) but I do believe his TUWS is really well written with sound and sensible advice. And as proof of this, I noticed that everything on the psychological front that he wrote about was covered by my SP in my 1:1 sessions. He just presents it a little differently and has to cover things in a lot broader detail to cater for his vast audience. I would highly recommend his book to anybody who struggles with the emotional side of weight loss.

So today the run-away train came to a halt and got back onto its tracks to continue moving in the direction it always wanted to travel. A small detour but in this journey of the days of our lives. Call me whatever you think but I maintain that I'm a work in progress travelling a road that isnt always the straightest and most direct. However I do believe that I will reach my destination.

Magda

TO DAD

2010-06-16T21:05:00.000+09:30

Tomorrow my dad turns 75. On Saturday we'll have a family BBQ (his choice of meal) to celebrate. Mum will make his favourite dessert which right now is a sweet cream cheese filling rolled around a puff pastry case and sprinkled with icing sugar. They are pretty yummy.

Dad still has amazing strength and stamina, the product of his long and lustrous career as a tradie (carpenter, joiner, cabinet maker and shop fitter). He succumbs to mum's and my nagging about eating a healthier diet but deep down he just wants to have white bread, few vegies and some sort of cake every day LOL. He's had 2 angioplasties, the last one requiring 3 stents to be inserted and he takes medication for cholesterol. He's had 2 colonoscopies to remove polyps. I live in dread of the "C" word rearing its ugly head one day.

All that said and done he's the most down to earth call-a-spade-a-spade person I know and he'll tell you what he thinks, no holds barred LOL.

So happy birthday dad and may you live a long and (relatively) healthy life so we can enjoy having you around.

XX Your daughter M

A BIT O' THIS A BIT O' THAT

2010-06-15T21:12:00.000+09:30

Wow no blogging for a week and geez a lot has been going on, but then maybe its not that much really.

My last post had me pondering the universe and asking a lot of "why" questions. I've come to the realisation that all of those answers are within me and will always be within me. The real question is whether I'm prepared to dig deep and face up to the facts.

I've spent the last week ignoring the obvious and living a more "que sera sera existence". On the one hand an unintentional science experiment has proven that consuming foods higher in fat and/or sugar does actually keep you warmer on those chilly winter days. Especially when pasta is on the menu EVERY day. Remember "que sera sera". Sadly this attitude guarantees that my waist gets thicker and thighs are quick to follow. (The black fat pants are still loose but wont be for long if this experiment continues.)

Then because I never do things be halves - remember its often all or nothing - I've slipped comfortably into slothdom as well. How's this for a string of excuses?? Raining last Wednesday morning; cant remember why I didnt train on Thursday (need to up my intake of fish oil); worked late on Thursday night so slept longer on Friday; Saturday morning got stuck into cleaning as we were having friends over that night; Sunday woke up feeling chesty with the start of a cold; Monday etc etc. Phew what a run of doing nothing.

So today I pondered the week that was and admitted to myself:

1. I do know how to eat to maintain or lose weight without following a strict prescribed diet.
2. I do understand why sometimes I binge and I know how to manage and minimise those instances.
3. I love to train but I also love to be lazy (wow I'm actually like most other people).

and finally the piece de resistance ....

..... sometimes I just dont want to do the right thing(s).

Lack of motivation? Maybe.
Lack of dedication? Probably.
Lack of consistency? Absolutely.

Lack of accepting that this is who I am and I'm OK? Not on your life any more.

I think its time to reign it in tomorrow but geez it was fun (and tasty) while it lasted.

Cheers all

Magda

ROLLERCOASTER RIDES

2010-06-08T21:47:00.000+09:30

After a cracker weekend I started the week with a fantastic Monday. I literally felt AWESOME. I was in the best mood, despite feeling cold and constantly hungry.

Its easy to be positive, objective and insightful at those times. My mind works clearly and efficiently then. Its like all the ducks lined up and marching in unison.

But when the situation goes awry and you reflect on the day and its not what you wanted it to be it takes a lot of effort to stay balanced and objective, let alone positive. This is the roller coaster of life. Good days. Not so good days.

On this challenging journey of finding my happy place with food and eating, I sometimes wonder whether its better to concentrate and focus on what you want, making a conscious effort to practice good behaviours OR is it better to stop focussing and obsessing about it all and live by the motto "que sera sera". I suspect that different things work for different people and I havent worked out what works best for me.

One thing is for sure though and that is the rollercoaster ride that life takes you on. The question is do you hop on and enjoy the ride with all its highs and lows or do you relish the highs and dread the lows? I think I'm doing more of the latter when I'd rather be doing the former. I guess the choice is mine to make and see through.

Magda

LETTING THE NIGGLY BITS NIGGLE

2010-06-07T19:41:00.000+09:30

Since my last post I've been thinking about those niggly bits that I mentioned back then. I've come to realise that I will never achieve perfection and that living with "niggly bits" is ok. I've said it before and am reminding myself again that life is not a matter of black and white. In fact a lot of life is spent living in the grey and the more I can embrace that, or at least accept it, the better off I will be.

For a long long time I've been an all or nothing person and changing that has to be a very conscious effort. It certainly doesnt come naturally. But the more I think about how my life is spanning out and the person I'm becoming as I mature (hehehe ok I should just say "get older") I realise that its ok to not always strive for perfection or do my best to be my best. Flowing on from that I'm learning to live in the grey.

Sometimes that means just going with the flow or rolling with the punches. Sometimes it means accepting that I wont always choose whats best for me. Sometimes it means just not sweating the small stuff. It also means that I'm learning to accept myself warts and all, faults and all and honouring the uniqueness that is me.

I may never be a champion Half Marathon runner but I'll always be able to say that I had a goal to run a half marathon in under 2:30 and I achieved that. I may never be a world class figure competitor but again when I had the goal to compete I saw it through and managed a placing at the state level and got up on stage at the nationals. Who knows what else the coming years will bring? But one things for sure and that is my dedication and commitment to achieve goals that mean something to me.

And when you open your eyes to the big picture and look back over all you've done and achieved, it sort of puts the little niggly bits into perspective. Are you celebrating your big picture achievements or sweating over the little niggly bits?

Magda

THE NIGGLY BITS AND LIFESTYLE CHANGES UPDATE

2010-06-03T21:14:00.001+09:30

Its been a while since I updated on my lifestyle changes, so here goes:

1. I have not relapsed on the sugar free lollies and am nearing the end of week three. I still miss them at times but I ride out the craving and get through it ok. Big tick for this one.

2. The elimination of artificial sweeteners is progressing as planned. I wasnt going cold turkey but instead was not replacing what I ran out of. I still have my SF maple syrup but admittedly not as often lately. The Forme yogurts have gone and I'm now having brasil nuts with fruit in the afternoon. In the fridge I have a large bottle of Coke Zero that was a give away with a previous take away dinner. It hasnt been opened and tonight it caught my eye and I really felt like having a glass but decided not to open it. It'll come in handy when we have people over and somebody wants a Diet Coke. There are other odds and ends around (a Snack Attack protein bar for one) that will get eaten at some stage but that will be it. Gradually I'm saying farewell to artificial sweeteners.

3. I'm really inspired by the general principles of the Mediterranean diet and lifestyle and have decided to incorporate more of those principles into my own life. My Dad is facing some health issues again and they are of the hereditay nature. So whilst I dont want to be all neurotic or alarmist about it, I believe some subtle changes are in order. Peter and I have discussed it and he has agreed to the changes on the condition that it doesnt become a restricted diet. (I'm surprised he thinks I'll end up going that way but hey he's lived with me being like that for over 20 years so I should cut him some slack). It'll be interesting making the shift to less meat and more legumes (He's a meat loving man) but deep down I know my health will benefit.

Finally, today I've spent quite a bit of time pondering what I call my "niggly bits" (NOT "jiggly bits" in case you think thats a typo LOL). So what are "niggly bits"? Well I can best describe them as those things in my life that arent quite what I'd like or how I'd want them to be. I dont sweat the stuff I cant change but this stuff sits in the "changeable" category ... or does it?? I'm not sure.

For weeks now I have suffered with pains in my glutes, upper legs and hips. They're especially bad after I've been sitting for a while and when I get up to move. Every run starts off being painful as my body struggles to get going. Once I'm warmed up I dont notice it as much. I should get it looked at but of course I just worry that I'll have to give up running. Its niggling at me.

The other niggly bits are far more deep and meaningful and will be saved for another post when its not so late and I can write eloquently, or at least coherently about them. In the meantime they can continue to niggle at me.

Cheers all

Magda

BACK ON MY SOAP BOX

2010-06-02T14:02:00.000+09:30

Now here is a "diet" that I like the sound of. Interestingly there are no wild claims and promises for ground breaking weight loss but more commentary on its health benefits. Lets take a look at its key features:

1. High consumption of virgin olive oil. Fantastic. Good fats are filling and tasty. No more feeling hungry a couple of hours after eating because the meal was uber low in fat. You'll have healthy skin, shiny hair and healthy insides.

2. High intake of vegetables and fruits and legumes. Does this even warrant a comment? To me its basic commonsense. If you're not familiar with legumes, buy a vegetarian cookbook and experiment. There's a whole new world of very delicious foods to be explored ... oh and they're good for you.

3. Use of non refined carbohydrates (portions to be adjusted to physical activity). Well worth the effort to substitute with non-refined instead of what is otherwise known as "processed crap". Again, this is a no-brainer.

4. Consumption of fish, specially oily (or “bluish” one) three or four times a week Atlantic salmon is one of my favourites so this is a pleasure to follow. But I think some clarification may be required .... this does NOT include battered and deep fried from the local take away (remember the Mediterranean peasants didnt have a Barnacle Bills to rely on for a Friday night take-away)

5. Consumption of milk and derivates, cheese and yogurt (the original cheese was fresh goat cheese). Keep an eye on the saturated fats of the dairy products. Not too much! I like the flexibility here. By all means have dairy foods ... just NOT TOO MUCH.

6. Three or four eggs per week. I'm sure that unlimited egg whites would be appropriate as we all know thats not where the saturated fat lies. But again up to 4 eggs a week is fine so there is flexibility here.

7. Moderate consumption of meat and saturated fats. Now this is where all the figure athletes are tuning out (on the meat issue, not the SF issue). And thats ok. If your sport requires a particular diet then thats what you need to eat. I'm looking at this from a general health and wellbeing aspect ... something that COULD be a lifestyle beacuse its easy to maintain and promotes good health. I know that with the addition of legumes to my diet, I could easily cut right back on the meat. Again I like that its not totally banned.

8. One or two small glasses of wine a day, preferably red and at the main meals. White wine and beer are alternatives. Now this is what has sold the diet to me 110%. Pass the cab sav and cheers :-)

9. Nuts as snacks As much as I (secretly) love some junk food and do indulge from time to time, I love nuts as much if not more. I see this as taking something away (the less healthy or "junk" food) and replacing it with something equally as tasty but healthy. I'm sold.

So today our local paper had a short article on the benefits of the Mediterranean Diet hence my inspired post. What is painfully obvious though is that the Dukan Diet with all its unrealistic promises, rules and restictions and sensational claims got a 4 page spread on Sunday whilst the MD got 5 paragraphs on page 9 (admittedly with a great picture to take up 1/3 of the page).

Sad that society still promotes the sensational (at the expense of our health and wellbeing) over the sensible. Is it any wonder that there are still many very confused individuals who struggle to know what to eat to achieve and maintain a healthy weight.

OK stepping off my soap box now and going to buy some nuts for my afternoon snack :-)

Magda

WINTER WONDERLAND

2010-06-01T21:11:00.001+09:30

Today we celebrate the first day of winter. Normally I hate winter. I've never liked the cold so winter is a struggle. It always feels like it goes on forever and I find myself pining for the warm months.

But this year I've decided to embrace it and not whinge and moan about it. Whats the point? It just drags me and those around me down. So lets get this winter show on the road and enjoy each cold and crispy day (unless its a soggy one of course).

Here is my plan for enjoying winter:

1. I'm still getting up at 5am and going for a run of about 40-50 minutes during the week. I have a wooly lined vest thats waterproof (a hand me down from Peter actually) and a beanie for warmth. I admit that I do look a fright but my morning run is NOT about presenting the most glamorous version of me that I can muster.

2. I love a hot cooked breakfast on cold mornings. I havent had porridge for quite a while but am planning to try it again after losing my taste for it last year. If not porridge then my fave oat / egg white / ricotta / apple / cinnamon pancakes are a great alternative. When all else fails, an egg on toast will always satisfy.

3. I make my office comfortable with a radiator style heater under my desk. Without it the room is cold and drafty which = very grumpy Magda. Enough said.

4. A hot lunch is always in order. The old standyby of brocolli (or other green veges), brown rice/wholemeal pasta and a lean protein is still a diet staple for me. I eat it because I like it not because I have to :-)

5. Every day I pay homage to Sara Lea by honouring the layer upon layer look. I may soon break the record for the most clothes worn in a day but its about keeping warm and comfy to stay balanced and happy.

6. And finally, nothing beats traditional winter foods done in the slow cooker enjoyed with a nice glass of red wine. When you put all that together, whats there NOT to love about winter?

Cheers all

Magda

THE ANSWER TO ALL OF OUR (WEIGHT) PROBLEMS ...

2010-05-31T16:12:00.001+09:30

.... is finally here. Ladies we need fear no more. The search is over. We finally have it. THE diet that will have us looking like Jennifer Lopez and Gisele Bundchen (rolled into one, if we're lucky), while we eat whatever we want, to lose 6kg in ONE month in the company of French women, doing it the French way.

THE DUKAN DIET IS HERE and the body + soul liftout from the Sunday papers has all the info - but of course because its so exceptionally good, you'll no doubt want to purchase the book as well (too lazy to insert the link for the book purchase).

No kidding, the opening blurb tantalises us with the promise that numerous celebrities "live the Dukan life, all of them seduced by its promise of permanent slenderness while eating what you like."

Oh my, I'm so excited, I cant wait to read on. So read on I do and whats the first thing I'm told??? In the Phase One: Attack period I'm only allowed to eat lean protein full stop. No veges. No salads. But lucky me I get to have 1.5 tablespoons of oat bran to relieve constipation (yep that 1.5 tablespoons will make all the difference). I'll have to put up with a dry mouth and bad breath but hey, I'm losing weight so who cares (the price we're prepared to pay!!). Oooh I'm so excited to lose 3kgs in just 5 days (shame its just water but hey the number on the scales is going down!!).

After this groundbreakingly successful Attack Phase (if I havent attacked the biscuit jar or bread supplies) I then have a range of equally exciting phases to work through with rules, rules, rules, restrictions, restrictions and more restrictions but GUARANTEED slenderness. I wont waste any more of my or your time writing about them. I think you can tell what I think of it all by now.

So (breathing a sigh of bewilderment) here it is, another pseudo Atkins / South Beach meets The Zone and .....insert whatver else comes to mind ..... diet to solve all of our weight problems. Irrespective of what its doing for our bowel health, our brain function, our emotional well being and our self esteem. I guarantee its not ticking ~~many~~ any of those boxes.

Yet sadly I'm sure that thousands of women throughout Australia would have started the Dukan Diet today in their desperate struggle to lose weight and feel better about themselves. If only they knew that the answers are not in this (or any) diet book. Rules and restrictions are ingredients in the recipe for failure, low self esteem and personal growth. There is a better way, you just have to trust yourself to find it and follow it because its different for each individual.

And on that note, I'll step off my soap box and retreat back to my happy world of food freedom, choosing the lifestyle thats right for me and enjoying what it brings.

Cheers all

Magda

STEPHANIE RICE

2010-05-27T21:40:00.000+09:30

So what does Steph Rice have to do with my blog today you may well ask.

As per my usual routine my alarm went off at 5am this morning. Normally I'm already at least 50% awake by then but today it went off 3 times before I could wake up. Normally I just get staright out of bed and get ready for my morning run but today I DIDNT WANT TO GET UP. I lay in bed for a few minutes with all the "I dont want to get up" thoughts dominating my mind.

Then I thought back to an article I read just last night about Steph Rice and her training schedule.... up at 4.30; runs 4kms; swims 6kms; has breakfast; weight trains between breakfast and lunch; blah, blah, blah and then swims again before dinner.

"Haul your arse out of bed and do your 40 minute run Magda!!!!" I told myself. And because I'm a good girl and always do as I'm told, I was up and out the door a little slower than usual but out nevertheless.

Tomorrow is a day off from training and a sleep in (maybe til 6am if I'm really lucky). Oh and its Friday and my early finish day. I've decided, its gonna be a great day.

:-) Magda

IF IT AINT BROKE DONT FIX IT - NO PLAN :-)

2010-05-26T16:22:00.000+09:30

Hi all,

well the blog heading says it all. "Says what?" I hear you asking.

There is some recent excitement in blogworld and beyond due to Tom Venuto's ultimate body reshaping challenge (sorry too lazy to link to it or even to use its correct name). When I first read about it (via Sue Heintze's blog) I thought "Wow. I'd like to give that a go." Imagine winning a trip to Hawaii (and of course I was a dead cert to win) LOL.

Then commonsense kicked in when I realised it was for 14 weeks. Aaaargh!! Previous track record on 12 week challenges hasnt been good. Why would I do better over 14 weeks (which BTW would include my birthday)? Hmmm maybe its not such a great idea.

So light bulb moment "I'll do my own mini challenge over 8 weeks and finish it on my birthday". Oooh how exciting. I'll do this. I'll do that. I'll do ......

So in preparatiion for My Challenge I got on the MM this morning to confirm that I needed this "Challenge" to lose a bit of weight so I can fit back into some now tight clothes. Well did I get a surprise??!!

My weight has dropped by about 1.5kgs since the start of the month. "Thats not much" I hear you thinking to yourselves and have often thought exactly the same myself. But hang on ...... I'M NOT DIETING. Yes thats right. I regularly drink wine and enjoy nibbles with it, have a biscuit with my skim cappuccino, eat carbs when I feel like it, have cheesecake for dessert on a special night out and never weigh, measure, record and analyse my food any more. I run / jog (a lot) but I love it. I dont weight train now because I'm still not set up for it. This is temporary.

So in light of all that, I made the decision to just keep doing what I'm doing because it works for me. For all the bloggers who have embraced the challenge I wish you success and will follow your journeys with interest. But I now know that the "challenge" is not for me. Long live mindful eating and running for my life.

Cheers

Magda

I HAVE A PLAN BREWING

2010-05-24T21:06:00.000+09:30

Today I've been able to step back and look at the events of the last week through objective eyes and emotional detachment. Its been enlightening.

More and more I realise that life is like a roller coaster ride. I enjoy my more than fair share of highs but I'm not immune to the lows. They will come and they will hit hard. It pays to have your wits and senses about you so that you can deal with them smartly and effectively. But of course sometimes you cant see the forest for the trees.

Having recently seen the end of a particularly bad low I'm back in touch with my strong foundation of understanding how MY Binge Monster works. It'll be different for everyone but knowing me and mine is what matters to me. I feel secure now back in that place where I can look within and find my answers. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The answers are not in a diet book, nor a whizz bang program written by a top notch PT. Dont get me wrong, I'm not knocking PTs as I've worked with some very good ones but in the end I knew that achieving long term success in weight loss and weight management would boil down to me and me alone. I had to work it out for myself and even now I continue to keep working on it. Another thing I've learnt is that complacency = failure. If I get too relaxed about eating whatever then I know my weight creeps up. I run a lot but can vouch for the statement that "you cant out-train poor nutrition".

I have a plan brewing that I'm pondering over the next few days and when ready I'll post about it. Its quite exciting to see just how it pans out, all things considered.

Good night all

Magda

LIFESTYLE CHANGE # 1 UPDATE ... LIFESTYLE CHANGE # 2

2010-05-24T15:21:00.000+09:30

As you are aware I've decided to make some changes to my eating and training habits but am introducing them gradually so as not to overwhelm myself with a massive change on many fronts thats guaranteed to have me going into meltdown and having a mother of a binge in rebellion.

I have gone a week without sugar free lollies. It wasnt a typical week (as evidenced by my huge rant earlier on) but I stuck with this decision and didnt rush out to buy a packet to stuff down out of boredom, habit or whatever.

This week may challenge me more though as I'm back to the normal me and resisting that afternoon urge will take some strength. But I'm determined to stick it out and kick them out of my life once and for all.

So what is the second lifestyle change I want to make? Well it actually logically follows on from the first and that is to eliminate all artificial sweeteners from my diet (bar the odd sugar free gum if a fresh breath emergency arises).

What does this mean for me?

Firstly I'm not going cold turkey and throwing out everything with AS but as those things get used up I wont be replacing them with like. For instance:

Forme yogurt is artificially sweetened. I had the last one last week and have bought no more. My afternoon snack will now be 4-5 brasil nuts and some fruit (figs from the tree in my backyard for today). Or maybe some natural low fat greek yogurt with fruit. Whichever takes my fancy. I dont want a yogurt thats full of sugar as I think thats almost as bad as the AS one.

The real challenge for me will be giving up the SF maple syrup that I have on my oat / egg white / ricotta / apple pancakes on most mornings. Those pancakes are undoubtedly my favourite breakfast and I just cant bring msyelf to have them with full sugar maple syrup as often as I do. I've looked into alternatives to have on my pancakes but not sure that apple sauce will cut it and as for making my own berry sauce ... it just aint gonna happen both from the time and expense perspective. So my plan is to have the pancakes once or twice a week with normal maple syrup and have a different breakfast on the other days. Will experiment and see what works and keeps me happy.

Other than that there are various other products that I'll be ditching but I think they'll be comparitively easy. Mind you I will miss having the occassional Diet Coke which is a sin that I love to indulge in LOL.

So its all about replacing things that arent so good for me with things that are better. We only get one body to live in so where would we live if we didnt look after it? I hope to be living in mine for a long time and I dont want it to get too run down and in need of a major overhaul.

Cheers all

Magda

GOD HAS SENT AN ANGEL TO LOOK OUT FOR ME

2010-05-21T13:30:00.000+09:30

And just to make sure that everything continues well for me, God has sent an angel to look out for me in the future should I need it.

Earlier this week I emailed Matti my SP who no longer lives in Adelaide, desperately seeking her help via a phone consult. I didnt hear back from her for a few days and I wondered if she would reply at all or if she would refuse coaching me for whatever reason.

This morning I got a reply from her indicating that she did phone consults and offering to speak to me next week. Funnily enough I dont need to speak to her now but I'll maintain my contact with her should I want some refresher work in future. I cant tell you how relaxed and positive this makes me feel, just knowing that should I need some support, I can turn to her.

Physically I feel better today than I did yesterday. The human body is an amazing work of science. I'm still at that very fortunate place where even after some serious abuse, it can still right itself fairly quickly and easily. For that I'm grateful but I shouldnt take it for granted.

Emotionally I have forgiven myself for the events of this week. Self defeating thoughts, poor choices and poorer actions that are in the past now whereas I'm looking ahead with a more balanced and positive outlook.

If there's one thing that I learnt this week through all the pain and anguish I felt when at my lowest, it was "never underestimate the power of the mind". For me its not the food that is the trigger to binge, its the thought processes that go with non-hungry eating or eating of foods that were previously off-limits. And understanding that goes a long way to managing it and acting differently in future.

:-) Magda

TREATING MYSELF WITH CARING & RESPECT

2010-05-20T19:36:00.000+09:30

So after finding some emails that I wrote to Kristy and Shelley about my visits to the SP, I reread them last night and then again this morning. Fortunately I had written in quite a bit of detail what had happened in my visits, what we found, what it meant and how to deal with it all. With every line I read, I just felt better and better. I'm going to print them all off and keep them as a permanent record of my work with Matti. Its amazing that in just 3 sessions costing less than $500 in total I gained SO MUCH. I cant even put a price on it as it really made such a huge difference to my life.

But I forgot that I wrote those emails and over time the details of the visits just faded from my (aging) mind hence my total meltdown at feeling so helpless at not understanding why I was going back to old habits. Its all clear now. I have some work to do but at least I know what it is and can just get on with it.

Mentally/emotionally I felt good today. Just nice and calm and balanced. Physically its a different story while my body balances back to a happy state. It'll come now that I'm treating myself with the caring and respect I deserve. Patience will bring the results I want.

So I face my second favourite day of the week with confidence and a positive headset. Then yippee its the weekend and we are taking advantage of the wonderful cafe precinct we live in. How could I lose touch with all the great things in my life and forget just how good my life is?

Cheers all

M

THE ALL IMPORTANT FIND

2010-05-20T11:32:00.000+09:30

Last night I found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You could liken my discovery to a moderate lotto win. It left me feeling THAT GOOD.

I had been so frustrated by my messed up, mixed up mind and my inability to understand why I ended up back where I was. My discovery was like somebody giving the pieces of the puzzle back to me and showing me how they fit. Yes I have some stuff that’s bothering me but now I know how to work through it.
That nice sense of calm has come back to me and the clouds have big silver linings.
I WILL BE OK.

If you believe it will happen, it will.

REWIND AND TAKE TWO

2010-05-19T22:22:00.001+09:30

Rewind to last night and choose a different outlook and course of action. Maybe not immediately but a late start is better than no start.

Take Two coming up when I have more time to post and am thinking clearly again.

Note to self: Blogworld is not your SP. Once again, you're looking for answers in the WRONG PLACE.

M

DAY ONE WITHOUT SUGAR FREE LOLLIES

2010-05-17T20:09:00.000+09:30

Hi all, not much to report on the SF lolly front today. My afternoon was taken up with a meeting that I was chairing so there was no missing the lollies or craving for them.

Tomorrow is a different story though as I'll be at my desk all afternoon. I have a strategy though and just need to train my mind into a new way of thinking. (And once I've mastered that I can say goodbye to a whole range of other issues that come back to haunt me from time to time.)

M

PHEW WHAT A WEEKEND

2010-05-16T20:53:00.000+09:30

Phew what a weekend!!!!!

After Friday night's carb load of home made pizza (yummo) I was grateful for the opportunity to do a run on Saturday morning. Its not normally my running day but Peter did his run early meaning I had time for one as well. So I managed about 10.5kms at a very cruisy pace for about 1 hour + 15 mins.

I caught up with the beautiful Miss R (a fantastic friend) for lunch on Saturday. This one had been a long time coming so there was much to catch up on and celebrate, hence a bottle of champagne was in order. Hoowee!! After the bigger than usual lunch I didnt even want any dinner so went without. I just had a red wine with Peter and watched him enjoy his dinner.

This morning I headed out for another run and managed a smidge under an hour. We spent a good part of the afternoon at my cousin's 60th in the country. What a hugely social weekend!!

Now I must confess that I'm feeling pretty run down and like the lurgies are just hiding in the background waiting to knock me down. My throat is temperamental and my stomach feels ... well lets just say ..... not great!! I would kill for a day or two of R & R but will most likely be ok for work tomorrow so no putting my feet up for this girl. I hope that a good night's sleep has me waking up feeling fantastic as usual.

Oh and as a post script I must say that while doing my grocery shopping yesterday I went down the confectionery aisle and walked straight past the SF lollies with blinkers on so I wouldnt be tempted. Now to just stay away from the shop across the road from work where I can buy them as a last resort.

M

LIFESTYLE CHANGE # 1 - DITCH THE SUGAR FREE LOLLIES

2010-05-14T21:54:00.000+09:30

Well I've given this one quite a bit of thought and have decided to cut out my daily intake of sugar free lollies. Here's the story behind it:

For a really long time I have relied on sugar free lollies to get me through my afternoons. I dont know why but upon finishing my lunch, irrespective of what it is, I have this irresistable urge to keep munching. Sometimes I use it as stress relief if I'm facing an issue or task that is stressing me out. The physical munching provides some (perceived) relief. Sometimes I munch out of boredom. Not because I've got nothing to do but because my energy levels drop in the afternoon and I lose my "rev". (I'm definitely a morning person!!). Sometimes I just want the oral satisfaction (yes I was a smoker many years ago and was off and on for some time). But whatever the reason I admit / confess that I am addicted.

A couple of weeks ago on a particularly bad afternoon, I munched my way through a packet of Eclipse mints and within a short time I had an excruciating stomach ache. I was sitting in a meeting with a skirt band that was too tight (yes I need to drop a few kilos too!!) and my stomach was really hurting. I cant put it down to anything else but my zealous intake of he SF mints. So over the next few days I cut back on how many I had and I didnt get any pains. But since my very upset stomach earlier this week, I've noticed that I'm more sensitive to the SF mints than before. Hence my decision that they need to go.

Now for many this may sound like no big deal at all. I mean how hard is it to give up having a few mints after lunch each day?? No big deal?? Well let me just say that it will be a BIG DEAL for me. I am addicted and it'll be really hard. Can I call the Quitline? "Hello I need help to quit ..... eating sugar free lollies" Would they laugh at me when I told them my unique reason? Probably :-(

I havent thought out my strategy just yet other than just having some SF gum on hand for those times when I need to freshen my breath (I'm not a lover of gum at all so I'm not at risk of replacing the lollies with the gum). Apart from that, it might just be the trusty cold turkey approach and toughing it out.

A small step for man.

A giant leap towards better health.

Maybe.

What are your thoughts? Am I over the top on this or is my take on this and my subsequenrt decision valid? Leave me a comment anf tell me what you think.

Magda

PONDERING FURTHER LIFESTYLE CHANGES

2010-05-13T21:08:00.000+09:30

Today my iron constitution kicked in and it was pretty much a normal day for me. I felt ok again after being sick on Tuesday night. I managed a 45 minute jog this morning which half way through I remembered should have been a sprint session. Perhaps I didnt have THAT much energy to burn after a light eating day yesterday. Oh and how lovely to just enjoy lean clean food again and not the deep fried cr*p that some restaurants serve.

I have been toying with making some further changes to my lifestyle in the pursuit of improved health, fitness and longevity. So I'm mulling over some ideas and options and will post more about them if I decide to embrace them. You see I do this every so often but never follow through. Maybe this time will be different if I can devise a workable plan / approach in my mind. I can say though that there have been things that are concerning me lately and I honestly dont think complacency is an acceptable option. Its a cop out and I'm not keen on that either.

Stay tuned and watch this space.

M

RECOVERING

2010-05-12T19:29:00.000+09:30

I've spent the day recovering from an onslaught of vomitting and diarea (I know thats spelt incorrectly) from last night. Phew was it awful!! I can only put it down to a Chinese lunch out with everything deep fried (banquet with no choice in courses) and then dinner out and being high in fat also. Again no choice in what to have as it was at my parents' place. I think my body just said "I cant handle this much deep fried crap. Its gotta go!". And GO it did.

So no running for me this morning and a nice long lie in before attempting to eat breakfast (by which time I was starving). All ok there so it was a day of recovery and just taking it easy. My boys had crumbed calamari for dinner (home made) but I skipped it and had a bowl of veges stir fried in stock and seasonings with some left over roast lamb that I cut up and added to the veges. My body was ok with that too.

I'm looking forward to a normal day tomorrow with an early run and then just my usual meals. Funny how routine makes me happy. Although I love to eat out, quite often I want nothing more than my home prepared meals, knowing they are bursting with veges and abundant goodness. Oh and although I havent had any yet, I'm so happy that brussel sprouts are in season again. How tragic that I love them so much LOL!!

Well not much else to blog about so I bid all good night.

Cheers

Magda

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO "BE"

2010-05-10T16:31:00.000+09:30

This morning as I was signing invoices for payment I noticed the date already being the 10th of May. Double figures in the number stakes and I cant believe its May already. It felt like yesterday that it was still April. The year is zooming by very quickly.

In my private moments like brushing my teeth, taking a shower or just doing something on my own, I find myself reflecting on life and myself and how it all fits together. There has certainly been a shift in my thinking, my attitude and my acceptance of me. Maybe its come with age or with time or just reaching a level of maturity that you dont have in your 20s or even your 30s. However its come, I'm glad its here because I'm a much happier, calm and accepting person than I was say even 5 years ago.

I've always known that I've had a very charmed and fortunate life. I've known little if any hardship and have been blessed well with the important things like family and friends. A lot of my worries I brought on to myself because of lack of confidence, self esteem and just not accepting who I was and being happy with that. But in recent times I've found it easier to be happy within my own skin, to be more accepting of who I am and know that I'm ok.

Sometimes you need to stop chasing a dream that ultimately isnt right for you, despite how you felt about it in those heady days. Sometimes you need to look within to find answers to the hard questions. Sometimes you just need to "be", without all the analysis, goals, deadlines and pressures. Its ok to take time out when you need it. Whatever it is you're taking time out from, will be there when you're ready to go back to it.

Tonight I'll have dinner with my family and a nice long chat with my son about something thats worrying him. If I can ease his mind and get him to a point of feeling ok about it then thats the best and most important thing I could have achieved today. Everything else pales into insignificance.

M

MOTHERS DAY

2010-05-09T22:05:00.000+09:30

I have just had the most fantastic day!!

I was served breakfast in bed. My boy gave me my card + little gifts he had made for me at school. Not to mention hugs and kisses about every 10 minutes apart throughout the day. I was showered in them. Lucky me.

After a very leisurely stay in bed where we all piled in to eat our croissants, and a read of the paper I eventually got up and pottered around for a while. My boy and I then played a board game which he won and then we skyped nana in Queensland. By then it was time to have a shower and get ready to go out to lunch with my bestie.

We wandered to my local cafe and shopping strip and settled in to a nice sunny spot and enjoyed a couple of wines and a foccacia each for lunch. Some great conversation followed as did a bit of retail therapy but no purchases for me (I have my eye on a couple of things though so maybe next time).

Not long after we got home my parents arrived for Mothers Day dinner which Peter was making so I could just sit back and enjoy the day. We had some camembert, pastrami and fig paste with crackers for starters followed by lamb racks done on the Weber with roast potatoes and steamed veges. Dessert was individual sticky date puddings with vanilla ice cream.

I ate too much and feel a bit overfull now but that aside, the day was fantastic. the meals were great and the company was excellent. Oh and my boy got to play with my friend's son while we were out. Win. Win. Win. :-)

Magda

I LOVE MY LIFE

2010-05-08T20:37:00.000+09:30

With a slight change in plans from our regular Saturday routine I was able to schedule a long run today. I measured it as approx 10.3kms and I ran at a really cruisy pace for about 1 hour + 12 mins. Man it felt SOOOOOOO good to go longer. I really do find the longer distances/times quite addictive.

Then it was the usually busy day with swimming, grocery shopping, domestic chores and of course my treat of lunch out. I head to my local Cibo after finishing the grocery shopping and I order one of their superb coffees and a bisuit (although today I was really hungry so I had a small cake instead). Yeah I know its not exactly lean, clean and nutritious but I love it and I enjoy it and savour it as a treat. And it is lunch not an extra to lunch.

I have a fantastic Mothers Day lined up but I'll blog about it tomorrow. I'm so looking forward to it. My boy has already given me flowers and I know there is a special present that he's made in school as well. I'm going to be so spoilt.

I hope all the mums have a great day tomorrow and I'll be back to post about mine tomorrow evening. Even as I was cleaning the shower today I was thinking to myself how much I love my life. I have so much to be grateful for and I am so lucky in so many ways.

Cheers all

M

PICS AS PROMISED

2010-05-06T21:02:00.000+09:30

The original fireplaces have been retained in the old part of the house.

Looking into the family room from the back yard.

One half of the kitchen.

Our ensuite. (Yes that is Metal Monster hiding under the vanity)

Our single fronted cottage. Built circa 1880.

View to our back yard

Looking into our family room from the back yard.

MY RETURN TO BLOGGING

2010-05-05T20:45:00.000+09:30

Hi all and welcome back to my blog (if you're still with me).

Since my last post done post Greenbelt (is it ok to use the word "post" twice in the same sentence??) I've been busy, busy, busy. Yes we've moved house which is no menial task and even did some painting of said house before the move. All this while suffering some wicked wicked DOMS from the half marathon. But no regrets that I had the guts to give it a go and meet my private, personal goals of running the whole way AND completing it in under 2:30. In fact today I hopped onto the SARRC website and checked my official time which was 2:26:51 so even better than I reported.

Anyways we are very happy in our new home. The location is superb, just about perfect really and we've finally realised our dream of living in this wonderful area. I love sitting down to enjoy a glass of wine in our family room with the massive glass bifold doors looking out to our backyard and have Peter comment that this house "is just us". I couldnt agree more. (I've tried three times to add a couple of pics of our house but blogger wont upload so I'm not sure whats going on .... SILLY BLOGGER!!!)

On a different note there is another matter that I'm dealing with at the moment which is the main reason I took time out from blogging. I've acquired four unwanted, unloved and ready-to-be-evicted kilos in the last few months. How could I do this while training for a half marathon? There is one famous quote that sums up the answer to this (perplexing) question. "You cant out-train poor nutrition". The author of said quote (you know who you are!!) is famous for their wise words and sage advice and once again they are spot on with this one.

So why the poor nutrition? Well it was more a case of some bad old habits coming back with a vengeance due to the pressure I was putting myself under. That plus a bit ... well actually a LOT of complacency and whammo "hello four kilos ... what are you doing here??" To put things into perspective I'm still at a reasonable weight and dont feel "fat" but I know how much better I felt and looked without these four kilos. Plus I now have fitted clothes that dont fit and thats just bloody annoying. I refuse to spend on a larger size or stretchy clothes so there is but one solution .... and it doesnt involve dieting!!

Yes I'm determined to stay true to my vow to never diet again (refer back to September last year) and I will do this "my way" to maintain my balance, my happiness and my peace of mind.

So for me this means eating well because thats what I value and enjoy.

It means keeping treats in moderation and not feeling guilty when I choose to enjoy them.

It means trusting my instincts to get it right most of the time.

It means being kind to myself if I dont get it right and allowing myself to just get back on with it without beating myself up.

Its about making lifestyle changes and practicing new lifestyle habits. If its not something I'd do long term, then forget it, as the short term practices dont offer long term solutions.

Funnily enough since the pressure of the Half Marathon has been lifted I havent had the urge to binge (I have a whole other post on this observation but will save it for another day) so things are looking positive already. Plus I'm back running for pleasure which is another tick in my things-that-make-me-happy-box. So the only things required now are consistency, patience and time. My goal is to evict the four by my birthday on 21st July. Wish me well in this endeavour.

Cheers all

Magda

THE GREENBELT HALF MARATHON

2010-04-18T21:29:00.000+09:30

Well here I am post Greenbelt Half Marathon tired, sore but very very happy. Happy that I had the guts to give it a go. Happy that I achieved my goal of running without any walk breaks and very happy that I bettered coach's time goal of 2:30 - 2:40. I crossed the finish line in 2:28.

I promised to blog the good, the bad and the ugly so here it all is for anybody who may be interested.

Two days before the race I was feeling the worst I've felt for a long time. I was in a bad place emotionally. I was run off my feet, feeling overwhelmed, tired and cranky. It was my son's birthday and we had a family dinner to celebrate. I felt so crappy that I stayed in my trackie pants and T-shirt without bothering to dress up (I would normally NEVER do this). What a piss poor effort, Magda.

Saturday was better as I knew I had to pull myself out of my hole and I managed this ok. My emotional state improved and I was more aware of my food and trying to keep some balance. We had another birthday party and fortunately our guests didnt stay late so I could get a good night's rest. I slept pretty well :-) and woke up feeling quite good.

The weather was glorious. I couldnt have asked for better as it was mild with only a light wind. I felt rested and quietly confident. Peter drove me to the start and I was shocked at how many people were there. I was told between 700-800 - ah the world is full of more lunatics who think that running 21.1 kms on a Sunday morning might be a good idea LOL.

Miss R from work was at the start to give me some moral support. It was a lovely surprise to see her there and again as I battled out the hilly stretches that formed the first 5 or so kms. I took it easy in the start as I knew the hills would be hard. I was near the start line when the gun fired and for the first 5 or 10 minutes I just watched 600 people overtake me. I didnt care. This was about me doing my best and not comparing myself with anybody else. I just ran. And I ran each and every hill, albeit very slowly up some of them but my goal was to NOT walk (except at the drink stations while I had a drink).

As expected the first 5kms were very undualting but this time I was mentally prepared. I thanked God that I had attempted the Good Friday Bun Run even though it was an awful and disastrous run, it had prepared me for today. The bad was behind me and todays was going to be good.

At 11kms to go and having just had a drink I hit my "zone". The endorphins started coursing through my body, a great song came on my iPod (sorry cant find/remember its name) and I comfortably upped my pace and started to overtake other runners. "I am a distance runner" I told myself and I was on fire!! However after a few kms I knew that I needed to be a bit more conservative if I was gonna make the 21.1kms and slowed back down to a nice jog.

As coach had predicted the last 6kms were pretty hard and the last 3 felt like they were 10kms long. The countdown markers seemed to take forever to appear. At the 5kms mark I'd had a bit of Gatorade which I'm not used to and it gave me a stitch. I was running in pain. My right ankle was also getting really sore from the slope of the pathway and I tried to run on as flat a surface as possible. But the bottom line was that I ran a few kms near the end in total pain, yet determined to push on and not let such a short distance beat me.

Finally the finish line appeared and my family were lined up on the final stretch with cameras ready. My son waved a big happy "Mummy!" and my mother-in-law and Peter were smiling for me and taking pics as well. I crossed and only then did I look at my time - 2:28. OMG I had beaten coach's goal or prediction that I would take 2:30 -2:40. I WAS OVER THE MOON. I had always secretly hoped that I'd do it in less than 2:30 but had after the Bun Run I had no confidence at all of achieving that.

My post race reward was a breakfast of pancakes with berries and ice cream. I inhaled it but I did enjoy every mouthful. After all, my glycogen stores needed replenishing LOL.

So here I am having completed a half marathon. If you'd have told me 12 months ago that I'd do this I would have told you that you're insane. Isnt life a funny thing and yet again I say "never say never". Thank you to some special people who helped me to get where I am: Pat Carroll was a fantastic coach. We never spoke in person but he sent words of wisdom and encouragement at just the right times and I knew I was in great hands. If you're considering running a race or just wanting to improve your running, Pat's your man. My wonderful husband Peter for rearranging his schedule to allow me to do all my long training runs on a Sunday morning and putting up with my moods swinging from total elation to total lack of self confidence. To Hilde from Get Active on Line who encouraged me back into running near the middle of last year. Then when I moved house and I wasnt set up for weight training she just gently encourage me "keep up your running". Well I'm so happy that I did.

Thanks to all for your words of support and encouragement. They always mean a lot to me and helped me get over that finish line today.

I'll be off line for a while now. We are moving house this week and then I want to take some time to work through some personal stuff that has gone off the rails for me lately. I need to do this privately and at my own pace, in my own way. I may share down the track but not just yet.

:-) Magda

LAST POST PRE-RACE

2010-04-13T22:42:00.000+09:30

This will be my last post pre race. My mother-in-law arrives tomorrow, my son has a his 8th birthday on Friday (Happy Birthday sweetie!!), we have a couple of parties planned and it'll all be go, go, go for the next few days. The race is on Sunday and I promise to blog the good, the bad and the ugly.

So I wanted to make my final pre-race post about motivation and inspiration and why I'm choosing to run 21.1kms on a Sunday morning (following my son's birthday party the night before) instead of snuggling in under my doona to avoid the cold, the pain and the challenge.

As my blog header states, I've been many things during the course of my life including a "sometimes runner". Every now and then I know instinctively that its time to follow a dream and make it happen. I cant rest until I've done it. It feels like unfinished business in my life. That time came with taking my running to the next level so I stuck my neck out and took on the challenge to run a half marathon.

And for me it will be a challenge. Running that half marathon will be the new athletic Magda who has trained hard for the event and knows deep down that she can do it. But I'll be accompanied by my Inner Fat Girl who'll look around to check if I'm the fattest contender so she can chide me if I'm the slowest runner. I'll also be accompanied by my Doubting Doris who still makes me wonder if I can make it on the day and I'm sure there will be a good dose of nerves to unsettle me as well.

I had a crap run on Sunday and I'm glad thats out of the way. I felt good doing my last sprint session this morning. Tomorrow is a rest day and I have a 50 min run on Thursday to be done at an easy pace before 2 full days rest. I'm devoting time and thought to my mental prep now as physically there is not much more that can improve my performance. I do have aches and pains but nothing that I cant manage and work around - on the assumption that nothing worsens.

I have revised my goal from "I want to do this really well" to "I just want to run it and finish". I'm now aware that the first 5-6 kms (at least) will be hilly and I'm not underestimating how hard this will be for me. I can only give it my best shot and be smart about how hard I push through the hilly bits. Slow and steady wins the race.

Finally I'm running this race to prove to myself that I can. To prove that I can leave behind the Inner Fat Girl and the Doubting Doris, giving them the finger and declaring "F*CK YOU! I'M A LONG DISTANCE RUNNER".

Wish me well and think of me on Sunday morning as I start at 8am with a goal of running it in 2 hours 30 - 2 hours 40.

:-) Magda

7 SLEEPS TIL RACE DAY

2010-04-10T21:24:00.000+09:30

This last week has been TOUGH on a number of fronts.

WORK ...

....has been really busy with one of my staff members away this month, our Director away this month, the results of the SA election being decided and some events bordering on natural disasters hitting our sites. Days have disappeared in what feels like minutes and I've taken work home to try to keep on top of things. I expect this to be situation normal in April and I'll also be having a little time off just to make it even more crazy busy when I am at work. AAAAARGH!!

TRAINING ....

...... I had to ease back this last week. The hilly run (Bun Run) on Good Friday left me with sore calves and took a bit out of me. Then my "race pace" 10km run on Sunday took even more out of me. I had 2 rest days (one scheduled, one due to torrential rain) but was still not recovered on Wednesday. I managed 5 out of 15 hill sprints and then just did a 20 minute jog shuffling along at my woeful "Cliff Young" pace. I had 2 more rest days as my body was telling me I needed them and then did 50 minutes today and am due to do 1 hour 20 minutes tomorrow. I think I'll be ok for the race as next week is not a heavy training week.

Coach has sent me an excellent email on how to prepare in the last 2 weeks including the mental prep and I'm devouring that repeatedly so that it sinks in. Its all about the mental attitude now and if thats right then everything will be good on race day. I say "good" and not "easy" as we all know that running 21.1kms for the first time is not an easy exercise but hey I love a challenge LOL!!

DIET....

...... well this deserves a chapter all to itself. Like some other bloggers I am struggling with my diet/weight at the moment. I've had some ups and downs and lately the downs have dominated. There are a myriad of reasons but put simply I've become a bit complacent and have 1: overindulged in treat foods and 2: let that f*cken old Binge Monster back into my life.

I've been looking within to find my balance again and its there .... just. But I know that over the coming weeks I need to reassess what I'm doing, what I'm thinking, how I'm feeling and what it is I want. Its not necessarily going back to the drawing board but more a case of tweeking and fine tuning to get things working right again. I've considered getting help with this but I'd be happier knowing that I worked things out by myself for myself. After all, nobody knows me like I do and I CAN work this out and get it right.

7 sleeps til race day and so much to do in the meantime. gotta love afull and busy life!!

Cheers all

Magda

QUICK CATCH UP

2010-04-09T22:41:00.000+09:30

Hi all,

things have been quiet on the blogging front for me despite having a bit that I'd like to write about. Now is just not a good time to be banging away on the keyboard. Maybe the weekend will provide some better opportunities????

I've been really busy with work to the point where I've been doing an hour or two at home in the evenings. I've eased back a bit on my training to combat some major aches and fatigue and coach has given me some excellent advice on my mental preparation. Not long to go now!!

In the least there are 2 posts that I really want to write before race day. I'll plan them for this weekend and then again I'll be absent while I prepare for my son's birthday and moving house. I do promise to blog about my half marathon no matter how hard it is to find the time. That news must be shared.

Cheers all and keep hanging in there!!

Magda

10KM TIME TRIAL TAKE TWO

2010-04-04T14:44:00.000+09:30

Friday's disastrous attempt at a 10km time trial had me spitting the dummy in fits of "woe is me, I'm a crap runner". It was a bad day. However once I pulled myself together I was determined to prove to myself that I had it in me to make the 10kms in coach's time goal of sub 65. I had the 10km route measured out around my local streets and was going to use today's training session to see how I went.

I began the run falling quite easily and comfortably into my "run pace". This is faster than my jog but still not a fast pace by any stretch of a runner's imagination. Its a pace I like as it is a little challenging but I can maintain it for a reasonable distance. Fairly soon into my run I hit a long slightly uphill stretch but this didnt tax me as its still relatively flat (by Friday's standards). I felt good and was happy with my pace.

At the 5km mark I checked my time at 33:45. Hmmm not bad and I knew the sub 65 was highly possible. I pressed on knowing that at about 6 or 6.5kms I'd hit C Road and it would be downhill for a decent stretch (in fact almost all the way home). As I hit C Road I picked up my pace a little and started to feel REALLY GOOD. The endorphins kicked in and I could feel tears of joy wanting to form in my eyes. "This is what I love about running" I thought to myself. My stars and planets had aligned.

I maintained a strong pace the rest of the way. Coming close to home I hit a stretch of cafes and people meandering along. I ducked onto the road so as not to be slowed down. A considerate couple quickly got out of my way. They must have seen that I was serious about my pace and I wouldnt appreciate dancing around idlers on the footpath LOL.

At the 10km mark (close to home but not quite that far) I checked my time at 64:32. I had done it. I had run the 10kms in under 65 as my coach had wanted. I am not a crap runner. I walked home with a smile from ear to ear and gushed my result to Peter like a kid having scored the best ever Christmas present.

I'm not sure what the Greenbelt Half will bring. It may be undulating. It may well be a lot tougher than today's run. But I now know that I have a decent pace within me and if I find it on the day then I'll be ok. I have my confidence and positive attitude back and thats really the most important thing.

:-) Magda

BUN RUN REPORT

2010-04-02T22:20:00.000+10:30

If you've caught up with my FB status you'll know that my Bun Run was a disaster on a number of fronts.

Firstly today was only my 2nd race ... ever. I nearly pulled the pin thinking I might just runs 10kms where I normally train and time it as the run wasnt a timed one anyway. Then I decided that I probably needed "race experience" so hauled my arse out for the 8am start in a suburb well away from where I live. This was after a bad night's sleep of waiting for morning to come.

I should have expected that running so close to the foothills was going to be hilly. The blurb and info on the run described the track as "undulating". I disagree. "Hilly" was a more accurate description. Not good for a girl who lives on the plains and trains on the plains as there is NO other option at 5am. In a word.... the hills killed me.

As we set off in a large group I quickly realised that I'd be in trouble. My pulse rate shot up fast and high (partly through nerves) and my breathing became quite heavy within a few minutes. Little things niggled at me and I longed to be more comfortable so I could just concentrate on setting and maintaining a good pace. In a few spots I overtook people but this was short lived and it wasnt long before I was being overtaken by more and more runners. It was demoralising.

The hills were wicked, as was the wind. Not long but steep enough that on about the third one I walked up along with a few other people who obviously werent 100% committed to running it all. After that I walked some more hills as by then I felt defeated. Amazingly I have trained for about 10 weeks and I have never walked in my training (unless specified in my program). So here I was in a race setting and walking. This is not how I had pictured the event to be.

At one stage after beinhg overtaken by several people I looked behind and saw nobody. That was my lowest point (until a little later) and I thought to myself "Well done Magda. You are officailly the worst runner here." Then a group came around a bend in the track and I felt some small relief.

Near the end it was absolutely sinking in as to how badly I had run. I didnt know how long I had been running but judging my our location I knew we were approaching the end. Then I started to get really upset and I could feel the tears coming. As I choked up I found it harder to breathe and got scared when I couldnt get any air in for a few breaths. I needed to pull myslef together damn quick before I keeled over on that pavement and I just managed this somehow.

I finished the run and checked my time which was well under my goal of sub 65. Something wasnt right and this was confirmed by another runner, gadgeted up to the max, who informed me that her iPhone had recorded the distance as 7.86kms. So we had been shortchanged on distance and my time trial was invaild.

So here I am with 10+ weeks of training under my belt and today I ran like a novice that had never trained before. There was nothing I could pull out of my bag of tricks to save my performance today. It was woeful. I didnt hang around for the buns or the raffle or anything. I didnt feel like I belonged there.

The Greenbelt Half Marathon is in 2 weeks time. It starts from the same place as today's run but heads in the opposite direction. I havent checked the track but there's a bloody good chance it'll be much like today's, at least in the beginning for ???? long. Now I dont feel prepared or ready and am not sure what to do so as not to embarass myself on the day.

M

BUN RUN EVE

2010-04-01T20:58:00.000+10:30

Yesterday's 3km time trial was 18:20 because my legs were so friggin tired and my energy levels were LOW. So much for sub 18 which I'm sure I would have managed with fresh legs and some decent rest under my belt.

Tomorrow: 10km "Bun Run" with a goal of sub 65. Its a total fun run and not timed so I'll have my phone with the stop watch function to measure my time. Geez I'd love to report back to coach that I made this goal. Maybe the thought of tucking into the hot x buns at the end will enable me to run faster LOL.

Wish me well folks and watch this space for my "Bun Run Report".

Cheers and enjoy Easter.

M

MARCH REPORT

2010-03-31T21:04:00.000+10:30

For some time now I've been doing a monthly review as each month has come to its end. Here is my review for March and I invite my readers to stop and think about your own journeys and assess how you're tracking. I'd love to hear from you so we can support and encourage each other.

Interestingly we are now 1/4 of the way through the year. Some people had big hairy arsed goals, some had goals that were more "middle of the road" and some had few if any goals. I remember starting the year with a some fairly non-specific goals with only one absolutely black/white "I will do" goal and that was to not set myself a weight loss "this year I will lose XXkgs" goal. Yes I stopped living my life in a state of always wanting/needing to lose weight and it was liberating indeed!

Now back to the month of March. Wow what a roller coaster ride it was. And not a pleasant one at times.

March is known as "Mad March" in Adelaide as its crammed to the brim and then overflowing with events including artistic, cultural, sporting, community and more. Adelaidians hit party mode and really get into it all. And so we did but to a more moderate extent. One of the spinoffs from this crammed social calendar is that we eat out more, eat with friends more and also drink more. This can and did see the number on the MM creep up a little but life is to be enjoyed and the number will, I know go down again.

Training for the Half Marathon went into overdrive. Long runs became LONG runs and every time I completed one I enjoyed a sense of achievement and genuine elation ... once I got over my extremely tired and sore state. My perception of whats possible when I run has changed immensely. I once thought that a 12km fun run was torture and why would I want to run such a distance again? Having nailed a 17+km training run last Sunday I think back and dream of doing an "easy 12kms" LOL. Without a doubt my training has tested my physical abilities, my mental strength and my belief in myself. All three have at times let me down and it hasnt been a smooth journey of clocking up success after success. But every time I fell down whether it be physically, mentally or in my lack of self belief, I managed to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep going. I may have lost some battles but I plan to win the war on race day.

During March I had some bouts where I really struggled with emotional eating. Some of my old demons came back with a vengeance and I was in turmoil for quite a few days. Subsequently my date with MM this morning had me expecting to see a bigger number and yep I was 1.5kgs up from the start of the month (I honestly thought it may even have been more). Funnily enough there was a point during March where I was so motivated to do a smashing HM run that I planned to ramp up my nutrition, get a bit leaner and thereby really improve my performance. That didnt last long and I soon slipped back into living my life in a more relaxed and go-with-the-flow way. It seems to really suit me so I'm learning to harness it and work with it.

So on the eve of April, the month in which I do my Half Marathon (18 sleeps to go!) I feel optimistic, calm, focussed and quietly determined to run a good race. In fact I would also extend that to my approach to life in general. One thing is for sure....there will always be good days, bad days, hard days and "isnt life great" days. The key is to find the good and positive in every situation, to give thanks for all the good in our lives and just be. Be happy. Be confident. Be yourself.

Cheers all

M

OUCHY LEGS

2010-03-30T20:29:00.000+10:30

To say that my legs are sore is an understatement. Its like a decent case of DOMS after a high intensity or high volume leg session. There is pain everywhere but I feel good knowing its just me pushing my body to new limits. Of course its gonna buck back with a "what on earth do you think you're doing? I'll show you!!" response.

Today I was driving to a meeting and so I had a little "imagine if" time in the car. It went something like this:

Me: wow with all this running and the soreness I feel in my legs, they must be getting tighter and more toned.

Alter-ego: yeah!! Now if you could just tighten your diet right up and lean right down just imagine how awesome your legs could look!

Me: Maybe but what about all the foods I wouldnt be eating because I'd be on a diet (shivering at the thought)

Alter ego: Maybe but imagine how good you would look.

Me: I'm happy with how I look. My legs might not be super lean and toned but my life is balanced and enjoyable. I'll stick with things just as they are. Having super looking legs is not the be all and end all.

And so my day progressed with this feeling of comfort about how I look, how I'm performing and how my life is.

Oh BTW I stuffed up my 3km time trial this morning so I'm giving it another go tomorrow. Sub 18 is the goal!!

20 SLEEPS TIL RACE DAY

2010-03-29T15:29:00.000+10:30

Well the business end of my training is certainly on my doorstep now. Race day is Sunday 18th April at 8am. I have no more really long runs but I have some time trials to report back to coach including 3kms tomorrow morning and a 10km fun run on Good Friday. Its not a timed run so I'll be using my HRM to monitor my time. Following the 10km run on Friday, Sunday's long run is one hour. How funny. I dont consider an hour long at all now LOL.

I'm certainly feeling more confident and positive this week having the 2 hours + 10 minutes under my belt. I suspect that some of my grief last week stemmed from my doubts about myself and my ability to achieve the Half Marathon goal. On reflection I realise that I put myself under these pressures by taking on the challenging goals but when the pressure is on, it can have quite a negative effect on me. Anyway I'm not a quitter so its the Greenbelt Half or bust and I feel that I'm well on the home stretch now.

And then after the race I plan to run for enjoyment and pleasure. I love just hitting the road and seeing where it takes me. I love the feel of endorphins coursing through my veins. I love feeling both invincible and balanced ...at peace with me. Its one of my "happy places".

:-) Magda

WELCOMING BACK MY MOJO

2010-03-28T22:07:00.000+10:30

My mojo is back and I'm grabbing it by the balls and not letting it get away again LOL!!

I'm back to "me" as I want to be. I feel great again. Back in control and going with the flow. Not sure how the change came about but suspect I was just ready for the dark clouds to roll away and for the sun to shine through again. Still focussed on looking forward. The past is the past and thats where it'll stay.

I've also had two awesome training sessions. On Saturday I did Friday's missed session which was sprint training. I always think I perform really badly on the sprints because I never achieve what my coach sets as the training goal. But I give it my best knowing that he has programmed those essions to "take me out of my comfort zone". Well that I certainly am LOL!! Oh and I have to confess that with my anniversary on Friday and the celebrations that night, several glasses of wine and bubbly were consumed so a good run the next day is a rare bonus indeed!

Today I ran my longest training run ever which was 2 hours + 10 minutes. I tackled the G O Road hill again and started it quite slow and feeling a bit "woe is me". Then something clicked and I realised that I had energy in store and some speed in my legs so I cranked it up (even going uphill). Reaching the top and then turning into a downhill stretch saw me firing on all cylinders and from there I maintained quite a good pace for most of the remaining time (a bit over an hour). Sure the last 15 minutes was hard and I was tired but by then I was so "in the zone" that I was gonna see that run through to the very last minute. Getting to my front gate was sheer delight and then enjoying some Burgen muesli and fruit bread with sugar free jam for breakfast just made it all worthwhile.

So clocking up these two successes as well as eating well again has lifted most of my fears and self doubts. I'll probably always have a few buried right down deep (just to keep me somewhat humble) but I'm starting the week feeling pretty good and I'll take that anyday.

:-) Magda

TOMORROW I WILL FORGIVE MYSELF AND START AFRESH

2010-03-26T22:01:00.002+10:30

Step 1on the road to recovery was taken today. Sometimes you just need to reach out for help and be told "sounds like you have the foundation of balanced eating well and truly in place, but need some re-focussing at present".

Truer words have never been spoken . I'm so out of focus at the moment that I cant tell if I'm Binging Bertha or Balanced Betty (although I know Binging Bertha is winning right now). I have lived the past week in a state that is just not me. Last year I made a decision to live my life differently and I havent been doing that. I feel crappy both physically and emotionally and I have let my core values slide into nothingness. Its time to get back to "me" how I want "me to be" living a way that makes me happy.

I will make one commitment for tomorrow because right now I cant handle any more rules, goals, or things to strive for.

Tomorrow I will forgive myself and start afresh.

Just making that one small, achievable commitment already makes me feel 100% better.

:-) M

IT LOOKS LIKE THE JOURNEY STARTS UP AGAIN AND CONTINUES

2010-03-25T22:50:00.000+10:30

Here's some good stuff:

Tomorrow is my 15th wedding anniversary. Coincidentally I have finally had my engagement ring remodelled into the style I've always wanted. I'm now the lucky owner of a band of diamonds in claw settings with no gold band bordering them. The ring is just stunning and when I'm less of a slack arse I'll take a pic and show it off.

Here's some not so good stuff:

I'm dealing with lots of negative thoughts, emotions and actions again. Slowly as the year has progressed I've felt myself losing my grip and more recently the downward slide has been a lot more obvious. Self analysis and looking within has not helped. I dont understand whats going on. How can I be holding the Holy Grail one minute and reaping all the good that it brings with it and then I've thrown it away.

Half Marathon Training:

I cannot give it my best when my emotional state is so poor. My race number arrived earlier this week and I look at it in fear and wonder how I'll ever make it with my head working against me. Its one thing to power along when all is good but I'm filled with so much self doubt and dread that its like I've written my script to fail.

This is a tough time for me. One I had hoped I wouldnt meet again. I need to find my answers and find my way back to my happy place not just superficially but from my heart, my soul and all my being. It looks like the journey starts up again and continues.

M

OH FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD

2010-03-24T16:01:00.000+10:30

Apologies in advance as this is a misery guts dump of a post.

I absolutely hate this period between 2 and 5pm. I’m so tired and so flat at this time of day. I’m just totally unproductive. I’m a morning person and can achieve just about anything before lunch … long runs, organising my boy for school, getting my family to school and work, managing a range of work issues including projects, HR, contracts etc etc. But come the afternoon and all I want to do is sleep … or eat.

Aaah so that’s where I’m heading with this. I cant sleep so I want to eat. Not because I’m hungry (I’ve had a good balanced lunch and a healthy afternoon snack) but I want to take my mind off this crappy feeling. I want distraction. I want oral satisfaction. I want to focus on something other than my crappy emotional state. Oh food glorious food!!

AAAAAAAAARGH I shall breathe and breathe some more until this feeling passes.

:-( M

FROM THE MOUTHS OF 20 SOMETHING BABES

2010-03-23T20:33:00.000+10:30

"I feel like my arse just exploded."

Miss C after indulging in HJs for lunch.

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES

2010-03-22T20:47:00.000+10:30

"I'm all out of balance today. Its just been work, work, work."

7 year old son, Friday afternoon after school finished and we're heading out for ice cream and coffee.

BALKING AT RULES

2010-03-21T21:01:00.000+10:30

Today's run was an hour and a half which was still tough as my legs are almost constantly sore and tired now. I didnt measure my distance but felt that I ran ok. I then had a big day tackling domestic chores which were sadly neglected over the last few weeks. Yep I'm pretty tired tonight.

Sometimes I wonder why I make big public declarations about what I'm going to do and what my goals and plans are. I'm not referring to my decision to run the half marathon which I'm still determined to do no matter how tough the training is. Its about my plan to "take it to the next level". I had all these ideas about doing this, doing that. Not doing this and not doing that all with the intention of nailing a really good effort on race day. Have I followed through? NO.

I think I'm at a stage in my life where I balk at rules, especially self imposed ones. I do follow my training plan almost to the letter but beyond that I enjoy just going with the flow instead of trying to be or do according to a plan. Over the last several months I have come to realise that I achieve more by trusting my instincts and allowing my life to flow in the direction I want rather than mapping it all out and slavishly following the plan. Not sure of this is a good thing or a bad thing but its proving to be how I best operate so I'm going to work with it.

So on that note I will not stress about having a few wines with Peter on the weekends. Nor will I ban myself from the occassional biscuit with my coffee or worry about the scales going down. If I keep eating well, training hard and staying positive and focussed, the rest will take care of itself.

M

I'VE BEEN BUSY SINCE MY LAST POST....

2010-03-19T22:27:00.000+10:30

......

Wed 10 March: Father-in-law arrived for the Clipsal 500 weekend.

Thurs 11 March: Family BBQ and get-together in the evening

Fri 12 March: sprint training / 1km time trials done with a hang-over and too little sleep :-( Boys all at the Clipsal. In the evening over a 3 hour period we inspected another property, put an offer in for it and were told we had missed out. Kapow number 6 down.

Sat 13 March: Skip weight traing as I cant access my gym equipment. Peter and FIL at the Clipsal. More house hunting. See (ANOTHER) a property we really like. Drink too much coffee and eat too many biscuits and no "real" food. Enjoy Skyshow in the SAFM VIP area. A late night. But a great night.

Sun 14 March: Peter wants to leave early for the Clipsal so no time to do my 2 hour run. My boy and I hang out and make a cake and play his favourite games. BBQ at SIL's place that evening. Oops too much wine and junky, nibbly food.

Mon 15 March: 2 hour run must be done but feel like CRAP. Have a 1 1/2 hour full body massage and feel even worse. No work today as I feel awful. Put an offer in on the property we saw on Saturday. Vendors will accept our offer but we have some work to do before they'll sign on the dotted line. Early bed.

Tues 16 March: Back at work. Feel like total sh*t. Took a rest day from running and absolutely needed it. Legs are ready to throw in the towel.

Wed 17 March: Took another rest day from running. Making decisions about my training based on how I feel rather than just following my program. Doing what we need to do to get the house we want. Cant concentrate on work or much else. But I get a hot new haircut and feel ooh-la-la sexy again :-)

Thurs 18 March: I do a 55 minute run but still not feeling good. The day is spent finalising stuff to get our house purchase over the line. I'm keeping mum until its in the bag. It could still fall over at the 11th or the 11 1/2th hour. By mid afternoon we hear that the contract has been signed by the vendor and ITS OURS. We've already had a mini celebratory lunch but champagne will be on at dinner time with my parents :-)

Fri 19 March: I run for 1 hour and I feel fantastic. My energy is back, there is a spring in my step and I even have a little speed. Aaah this is what I love about running. Getting used to the fact that we just bought a home in a suburb we've always wanted to live in. Its all a bit surreal. I have more champagne at dinner time and instead of planning what opens we'll be going to on the weekend, we're planning what new furniture we'll need.

Ready for bed. Hope to blog more regularly from here on as I blitz the last few weeks of my training and nail the race on the 18th.

Cheers all

M

PART TWO OF TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL

2010-03-09T20:52:00.000+10:30

I wondered if after posting my new plans and aspirations whether I might suffer a bit of the old "oh no I'm back on a diet" mentality. I was wary of how I'd feel today and how I'd handle my slightly different diet.

I neednt have worried as my focus is on improved performance and not just "I need to diet to lose weight". I still approach my nutrition with the mindset that no food is banned and its not "good" or "bad". Its either the right fuel, the wrong fuel or something in between and true to my word it has to taste good for me to eat it. I'm sticking by my decision to NEVER eat plain tinned tuna again. YUK!

So today I made sure that recovery meal 2 was better balanced and at dinner time I held back on mum's crumbed and shallow fried potato gnoccies (and man did they taste GOOOOOD!). Her chicken schnitzel was as superb as ever but again I watched my portion size so that I felt comfortable with how much I ate as opposed to stuffing in as much as I could. Even after all this time of not dieting, I still face challenges with moderating portions of foods that I really love.

Part 2 of my new plan and aspirations is to get a bit leaner by race day. I'm not overweight but I know that for every kilo less that I carry over the 21.1kms I'll feel that much better and be able to run better too. So with just under 6 weeks to go I'd like to shed just over 3kgs to take me to a weight that I really like and feel great at. I can do this if I focus on it and approach it with a sensible mindset which I've pretty much got the hang of now.

So if you're reading this and thinking "Danger! She's back in diet territory" I can safely say "no way." Eating higher carbs, lower fats and moderate protein hardly feels like diet territory. I'm regularly having foods that I love and there are no feelings of deprivation - unlike the comp diet I followed and variations of it afterwards. Geez if I new then what I know now I'd have lived the last two years of my life very differently. Ah the wonder of hindsight.

:-) Magda

TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL

2010-03-08T21:17:00.000+10:30

I must confess to feeling somewhat invincible since breaking through the 2 hour barrier on my training runs. I feel proud of what I've achieved and like Kerry has said "it will only get better". So on that note I have quietly decided (yeah and I'm announcing it to the entire blogworld) that I want to give this half marathon a REALLY good go.

My initial goal was to complete it running (well probably just jogging) all the way without a walk break. That in itself was going to be my huge achievement. But now I'm thinking and planning to do better than that. I havent set a time goal just yet but I know that Pat and I will do that closer to the race. Watch this space as I will declare what my time goal will be.

I now have just under six weeks to the race and I've been thinking about what I need to do to improve my performance. I had a bad eating week last week and that always makes me feel sluggish and firing on less than optimum cylinders. Alcohol consumption is a bit higher than I'd like. On the other hand, my training is pretty much spot on.

So my plan is to pay closer attention to my nutrition. Gillian asked if I used gels on my long runs. Believe it or not, I run on "empty". What do I mean? Well I do most of my training at 5am so its on an empty stomach and its what I'm used to. On Sunday I run before breakfast and all I have before I go is a large (400ml) glass of warm water with fibre powder and freshly squeezed lemon juice in it. Its my morning staple that I have every day of my life. If its a long run I'll usually have a higher carb meal the night before and maybe even a piece of cake as a treat. Thats worked well for me up to now. For recovery I have Burgen muesli and fruit bread with sugar free jam and a mug of white leaved tea. Thats breakfast.

So nutrition wise I'll be paying closer attention to when I have my carbs and how much I have. I dont need to be "carbed up" for an hour run but I do need it for sprint training and the long runs. Sprint training in a depleted state is just NOT FUN!! I plan to moderate my treats with a view to having mainly clean, good quality food. The better the fuel, the better the performance I believe.

I plan to pay better attention to my recovery meals both straight after training and the next meal after. I've been pretty slack on the second meal so I'm taking some professional advice on board. And like I said earlier there will be evening meals that will purposely be higher carb to fuel the next morning's training. I'm confident that I can make some good improvements this way and then its just a matter of working through the training sessions.

I finally realise and accept that as an endurance athlete (albeit a very green novice one!!) my diet will be quite different to that of a body builder. Its no longer all about getting in large ratios of protein foods, although they will still feature in most of my meals. To run well and to run far its about the fuel and that my friends is my new best friend .... CARBS!!

M

POST SCRIPT: There was a typo in last night's post. Calories burned after the 2 hour run were in excess of 2000 (not 1200 as I mistakenly wrote). Woohoo. Burn baby. Burn!

TODAY WAS YET ANOTHER FIRST

2010-03-07T21:14:00.001+10:30

If you had said to me a year or even six months ago that I'd choose to run a half marathon and complete all the training that goes with it, I'd have said you were totally crazy. In about September last year when Hilde had me incorporate some running back into my training I knew I could do 40 minutes so thats what we went with and I recall often thinking about the City to Bay (12kms) and thinking that I'd never want to run such a long way again.

My how times change. We change how we feel and what we want to do, what we believe we can do.

Today was yet another first. A two hour run. You all know how nervous I've been about this. It was a MAJOR psychological breakthrough for me. A real milestone. I set out feeling less than 100% due to some poor food choices this last week and knowing that I hadnt taken the best possible care of myself. I think it made the run a little harder than it needed to be so I'm hoping that with a good week under my belt this week, I can nail a better 2 hours next Sunday. Here's hoping.

I covered 16.2kms and all I can say is that the last 30 minutes was really hard. My legs were tired and sore. My glutes were aching and then my hammies went out in sympathy. But I kept going on and on and on trying not to focus on the time too much. My first check of the time was at the 1 hour and 22 minute mark and my heart sank a little as I was hoping that I was past the 1 hour 30 mark. Not to be. Just keep going Magda. Just keep going.

I ran in rain (luckily not heavy) and it was a little cooler so the temperature was really comfortable. The elements were on my side after the awful conditions of last weekend. Arriving home I was just TOTALLY buggered. My aerobic fitness was ok but legs were saying "enough". I've now discovered a new degree of "tired" and if I sit for any length of time there is some serious aching when I get up and move around again. Its almost comical.

My HRM recorded a burn of 1200+ calories so it was no wonder that after I had replenished my glycogen levels with a high carb meal (fruit toast with sugar free jam - YUMMO!!) I was famished two hours later. Gotta love it when my system works that well.

Its an early night for me tonight and please pray for me that I can get out of bed tomorrow morning LOL.

Cheers all

Magda

PS And thanks to everyone who leaves me supportive and encouraging comments here and on facebook. They help me to keep going when it gets really tough.

POSITIVE SPIN OFFS FROM THE TIGHT JEANS

2010-03-06T22:18:00.000+10:30

Yesterday wearing the tighter jeans worked a treat. My son had the afternoon off school and I picked him up and we went out for lunch together. I ordered a chicken salad with a Pepsi Max and didnt touch any of his chips. I did have a few wines in the evening but kept the food lighter with a salt and pepper squid salad without dressing. If I stopped to consider having something heavier or fattier then the jeans reminded me not to.

Today has also been a good eating day and I feel lighter and a tiny bit leaner already. I know that things will balance themselves out fairly quickly once I stop shovelling crap in and replace it with healthier food in moderate quantities. Once my head and mind are working right , the rest just follows and it becomes second nature to just eat well.

Peter and I went to a Fringe show last night and our son had a sleep over at grandma's house. This morning in the unusual quietness of our place we managed a sleep in til just after 9am. This is an absolute rarity and we both felt SO good after the extra sleep. I'm not even stressing about the missed weights session as I can make it up on Monday as its a public holiday. Its amazing what a difference a decent sleep can make to how you feel.

So on that note I'm toddling off to have a read in bed before banking some more zzzzzzs. Tomorrow is my first 2 hour run and I'm a little nervous about it so I hope that I manage a restful night.

Cheers all

Magda

A SLAP IN THE FACE TO SET MYSELF RIGHT

2010-03-05T23:04:00.000+10:30

This morning my size 11 jeans were tight. I wanted to take them off and wear something else but then decided that having this unpleasant feeling with me all day was probably not a bad thing.

So its time to stop justifying the non-hungry eating (read that "binging"), deal with whats bothering me / stressing me / ???? me (whatever you want to call it) and get back to what was working for me just a short time ago.

I'm not beating up on myself but this attitude has to stop. I dont want to be back at square one, miserable and depressed because I gave my power, control and belief in myself away.

M

SURROUNDED BY BLAAAAH

2010-03-04T21:09:00.000+10:30

It was interesting to see how many other bloggers are also in a bit of a miserable place right now. Not to mention my real life friends and colleagues. I wont go into nauseating detail but its quite sad to be surrounded by people depressed, tired, frustrated and totally worn out.

Are the planets placing us in a "glass half empty mindset" or are we just failing to focus on the good and positive things in our lives? When we look down we see the weeds at our feet and dont look beyond to the beautifully manicured garden. Its there but we are so focussed on whats under our noses that anything in the distance cannot get our attention.

Or maybe the problems go deeper. Are there unresolved issues that we are grappling with or worst yet are avoiding grappling with? Maybe the skeletons in our closets have been disturbed and are rattling to remind us that they havent been satisfactorily dealt with. When does the past suddenly become the present and you look at it and dread it becoming the future?

I've neglected my daily journal but a couple of things hit home today and I realised that at this time in my life I need it more than ever. I may need more but the journal is a good start and as of tomorrow its back in my bag for my daily reflection, reinforcement and redirection. I'll be meeting with it every morning to set myself on the right path for a good day.

M

DONT YOU HATE IT WHEN .....

2010-03-03T21:11:00.001+10:30

.......

You walk in to work so your bag for the day is a gym backpack.

You want to wear trousers and the only ones that are the correct length and not designated to be worn tomorrow are also a saggy baggy size 12.

You decide to wear those trousers with a belt but feel 'yuk' in them all day.

Your hair looks feral. You need a cut and restyle and you pray that your hairdresser is back on deck for your next appointment which is still 2 weeks away.

You find out that you've missed out on another property that you loved and thought you'd offered enough to get it (yep number 5 bites the dust)

Your best friend rings because she's in the city and wants to catch up for an impromptu lunch. So you accept the invite looking forward to seeing her and she arrives ......

..... looking stunning in a smart suit, nice bag and with her hair cut in the sassy style you've been longing for.

Today I looked like crap and felt like crap and couldnt wait for the day to be over. Now I just want to have a good cry before bedtime and maybe free myself from these negative emotions.

M

HILL SPRINTS

2010-03-02T21:09:00.000+10:30

It was with some trepidation that I approached this morning's hill sprints. Three weeks ago this was the session that I blew off as I was mildly dreading it then and was still dreading it today.

I got up nice and early as I wasnt sure how long it would all take (10 minute warm up jog, 8 x 80 m sprints with walk recovery, 15 x hill sprints of approx 30 secs each with a 1 minute recovery between numbers 10 and 11 as well as the walk back to the bottom of the hill on each rep, 10 min jog to return home). All up it took about 55 minutes and it was pretty hard work.

But in hindsight it wasnt quite as hard as I imagined it would be. I live in a pretty flat area and Peter wasnt happy for me to drive somewhere else and do them in the dark in an unfamiliar place so I picked the one street in my suburb that had some undulation to it and ran up that. It was still a tough workout and I pushed as hard as I could because I knew the hill itself wasnt quite steep enough. In the end you can only work with what you've got.

Legs have been a bit sore since and even from Sunday's run but I look at that as a good thing as I visualise them getting leaner and tighter. Oh to one day have nice runner's legs!!

Tomorrow's training is a 1 hour + 10 minute run and I'm planning to sleep in and do it at 6am or when Peter gets back from his run about 20 minutes later as I just cant face getting up at 4.35 to fit it in before 6am. It means I'll get to work later but better that than to be so tired from too little sleep that I struggle to function in the afternoon. I'm loving my training but long runs (an hour +) just dont work for me during the working week.

Cheers all and look forward to reporting back with another session nailed and in the bag.

Magda

THE FEBRUARY REPORT

2010-03-01T16:31:00.000+10:30

Over the last day or so I’ve had some time to ponder over the month of February. I looked for one word to sum it up and couldn’t go past tumultuous. Its certainly been a month of ups and downs, highs and lows. Here is my review:

TRAINING

February saw me achieve a new “first” in running for an hour + 40 minutes not once but twice. Distance clocked was 13kms+ and the first time I did it there was some DOMS to enjoy, as this was the hardest my legs had worked for some time. What an achievement though, one I was very proud of. Earlier in the month I did have a slack day where I blew off my training but fortunately those times are few and far between. Running continues to challenge me, de-stress me, clear my mind to see things logically and make me happy. I’m hooked.

I trained consistently doing upper body weights and ab and core work which was something I wanted to maintain. No strength gains but not letting previous hard work and effort just go to complete waste now. My goal here is just to maintain the muscle tone I have.

NUTRITION

Pretty much a roller coaster ride through February. A shaky start had me re-analysing what I wanted and how I wanted to live my life. Luckily I regrouped quickly and found my balance in eating well and enjoying treats in moderation. All was going well.

But the month didn’t end on a high and late last week there was a lot of non-hungry eating of mainly unhealthy foods. I still have moments of all / nothing thinking and I slid into a bit of a sugar coma where one bite led to a thousand more and I ate and ate to avoid dealing with what was eating at me. More on this later but at least I deal with these episodes in a logical and calm manner now and move on quicker and better than before.

HEADSPACE

I made huge progress in this area when I helped myself out of my early month rut. Without my SP to call on at my most desperate time I had to dig deep and go right within to help myself. Hooray I did it and came out so much better for it. Its empowering to know that I can deal with this issue and whilst I might still slip up (I am human and accept that I’ll make mistakes) I can pick myself, pat myself on my back and keep going. A far cry from when I’d go into a mini meltdown, beat myself up and then put myself on a strict diet to “compensate” and punish myself for my failings.

I still have a way to go before I’m totally comfortable with food and I can leave behind my all / nothing thinking once and for all. But I’m on the road to success and its just a matter of moving along in a forward direction.

BITS AND PIECES

The stress of house-hunting has been hard to deal with. The emotional roller-coaster ride has left me with constant headaches and a sense of being unsettled. I believe that this stress contributed somewhat to my non-hungry eating last week and old behaviours took hold once again. There have been some very high highs and then crashes down to the lows. I’m trying to put a lid on my emotions from now on, mainly as a self-preservation mechanism.

I haven’t met with the MM since the start of the month but a Wii Fit body test from last weekend had my weight at a very nice level and my BMI sitting a smidge under ideal so I’ll ignore the spike (if any) from last week and just get on with eating well and training hard. I might weigh this week if I feel like it.

Finally I may have had a bit of a whinge about a few things in this post but overall my life is fantastic and my problems are relatively minor. If me and all my close friends and family were to throw all of our problems into a pot in the middle and I could pick anybody else’s problems to be my own, I’d quickly grab those that were mine, take them away, deal with them and consider myself lucky.

Cheers all

Magda

TODAY'S LONG RUN: HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE.

2010-02-28T21:41:00.000+10:30

I have three words to describe today's long run. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible.

Adelaide was the victim of gale force winds this morning and they accompanied me for the entire hour + 20 minutes that I was out. For a lot of the beginning of the run I had a fierce head wind that kept my pace painfully slow and in fact there were times when I was barely moving. At one stage in sheer frustration and misery I mustered up some extra energy and yelled as loud as I could "FUCK OFF" (like that was going to make a difference) - but releasing some negative energy actually made me feel a little better. When I changed direction I had the wind blowing from the side and a few times it nearly blew me into fences and then from behind I had a face full of hair, which is due for a shorter cut.

It was a miserable, miserable time and I was very happy when I arrived home. I guess to my credit I kept plodding on despite wanting more than anything to chuck it in, walk home and tuck into a yummy breakfast. But deep down I knew I wouldnt do that. I'm not a quitter and putting that tick against the training session on my spreadsheet tracking record means a lot to me. Plus I didnt want to email my coach with a pathetic excuse like "oh sorry it was too windy to run today".

House hunting continues to fill our lives with turmoil but I've decided to just go with the flow and keep my fingers crossed that we'll get lucky soon. I'll wait until I can deliver some definite good news rather than blog all the (tedious) ups and downs.

Being the last day of February, I'll be writing my monthly round up early next week. I've just been reflecting over it and thinking how best to sum it all up. Its certainly been an interesting time.

Cheers all

Magda

BRING ON THE BETTER DAYS

2010-02-24T20:38:00.000+10:30

Today's run was 40 minutes. It should have been easy peasy but I struggled on every step. My heart felt 10 kilos heavier and I dragged myself through it.

During breakfast I said to Peter "I just want to go back to bed and sleep and when I wake up I want this nightmare to be over and for us to have a lovely home to move in to". He laughed and reminded me that going to sleep would not make the problem go away. I'd wake up and it would still be there.

Not much else to report. Life goes on. Things will pick up. Bring on the better days.

M

ITS OFF

2010-02-23T21:23:00.000+10:30

I cant believe it. This is not how my day was meant to be. Its all totally wrong.

We had a building inspection on the dream house in our dream location that was going to be OURS and we found that it comes with a dream dose of active termites.

Contract cancelled. Back to square one. I'll stop there.

M

WE GOT THE HOUSE WE REALLY WANTED

2010-02-22T20:43:00.000+10:30

Remember this post from last week?

After a massive emotional rollercoaster ride on another house that we were considering we finally came to an agreement to submit an offer and agreed on price. So our offer went in and I was so sure that we’d be successful. Well I was wrong and now I’m devastated as I really thought this was “the one”. You couldn’t get a better location and the house was lovely but the vendors are holding out for a price well above its real estate industry valuation despite it being on the market for a long time. Right now I feel totally fed up with the whole house hunting bullsh*t and I’m sick of living the whole Groundhog Day thing with it.

Well we caved and counter-offered still well short of what they were asking. The agent was on our side (wanting to make the sale after having it for 3+ months) and resubmitted our offer. It was accepted tonight.

We are absolutely ecstatic, totally over the moon and I have a smile from ear to ear that will stay in place for quite some time.

:-) Magda

VICTIMS OF THE Wii FIT.

2010-02-22T16:02:00.000+10:30

I have made peace with the Metal Monster by banishing its twice weekly intrusion into my life. If I choose, I allow it in once a month for interest's sake and nothing more. Life is much better this way and I'm a happier and more balanced person. I can get on with enjoying life, good food and wine without streessing about what the numbers will say.

But its funny how it just cant be avoided to the extent I truly desire. Earlier this year our boy acvhieved something very significant that was very challenging for him and that he'd struggled with for several months. We had promised him a reward of his choice when he achieved this feat and true to our word he was allowed to pick what he wanted.

Well he chose to have a Wii Fit as other family members had recently purchased one and we had all had fun with it together over Christmas. So what does the Wii Fit do? As well as providing some amusing training (some good some total rubbish) it does a "Body Test" where it measures your centre of gravity and weighs you. Yes you enter your data about height, age etc and when you stand on the balance board it weighs you and reports your weight and BMI.

Our son loves it and I admit that it has been educational in terms of what it means to be underweight (nobody has that problem in our family!!), the correct weight, overweight ( we have family in this category) and obese (and in this one too!!). It has made him more aware of the importance of being active and eating healthy food which is a good thing.

So I should just get over the fact that every fortnight we all do our body tests to see where we're at. Our son is "ideal weight / BMI" and so am I (although I've just dipped below my ideal BMI so was scrutinised about that!!) but Peter recorded "overweight" after the Christmas celebrations. Well the issue couldnt be brushed under the carpet as our son fully expects that he will lose weight to achieve a reading in the ideal range.

So a goal had to be set. Peter boldly says "yes I'd like to lose 3 kilos":. Our son records it on the Wii Fit but the new weight still registers in the overweight category. Not good enough dear. Our son keeps adjusting the weight down until it reaches the ideal range. I think it got to 5 or 6 kilos that Peter had to drop to get in his ideal range.

Peter is appalled. I look at him with wide, innocent eyes and dare him to let our son down by saying or implying that being in your ideal weight range is not important. Nope!! Suck it up baby and start working on those kilos. You want to set a good example for our boy.

:-) Magda

PS He is making good progress though. Steady and slow wins the race for him.

NAILING IT AGAIN

2010-02-21T21:37:00.000+10:30

Today was going to be a busy day so both Peter and I were up at 5.45am (thats SO wrong for a Sunday!!). I headed out for my long run (1 hour + 40 mins) at 6.15 and yep it was still dark. I had decided that I would take a different route to avoid that awful hill from last week so I turned off well before the road started to climb upwards. Running comfortably along what felt like a fairly flat road I had a change of heart and decided to tackle the hill from the other direction. So I came to the road leading up it and turned onto the uphill stretch.

It was shorter from this direction but I was also further into my run so the challenge factor was still there. Well I'm proud to say that today I jogged it without any shuffling. I just pressed on and on knowing that I didnt have far before I could coast on the downhill stretch.

Well turning the corner and cruising downhill was just awesome. I had Gwen Stefani telling me that I was a super hot female and the endorphins were coursing through my body. I felt fantastic. My legs were sore. My legs were tired. But all that was secondary to how great I felt.

Home at 8am and starving hungry (my stomach felt like it would digest itself LOL) I knew that whatever I ate I had well and truly earned. It was lovely to catch up with Kerry and Cheryl for breakfast and then mosey on home and get stuck into the domestic bliss. I didnt feel nearly as wiped out as last week so thats a good sign.

This week is a light recovery week which will be very welcome. Who knows what else will be in store?

Cheers all

Magda

REFEEDING

2010-02-20T21:06:00.000+10:30

Circumstances this week saw me eating a little leaner than usual with a little less carbs. This is not "planned dieting" or "what I'm allowed to eat" but just the way things worked out. So tonight our boy is sleeping over at his aunty's place and we headed out to one of our local cafes.

I was planning to have a marinara pasta but noticed they did Lebanese food so Peter and I shared a platter for two. Geez it was delicious with almost enough carbs to fuel my long run tomorrow morning. After the platter I was honestly not full so I indulged in an apple and rhubarb cake (gluten free) and a skim cappuccino as well. That was just what I needed (although it could have been a bit fresher) and I know I'll be running with power in my legs and energy to burn .... albeit at a ridiculously early time.

Tomorrow is a big day and it starts early. Kerry, Cheryl and I are meeting for breakfast and its an early one but hell just because its Sunday it doesnt mean I need to sleep in. Looks like I'll be heading out to run in the dark yet again.

:-) Stay tuned for the running report tomorrow!

M